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[backlog]

Bear didn't sleep well that night, mind too jumbled with things he didn't know how to process, or articulate. It was no wonder then, that he got an early jump on the day's baking. Things prepped, organized, and the oven stuffed as much as he could, he sat in the lobby, at one of the tables, a cozy blanket over his shoulders and absently coloring in some coloring bool.

It did little to offer the comfort it normally did.

There was just too much going on in his head, too many worries. Maybe trying to work out anything but friendships was just too much to ask when even he didn't know how to explain himself. He put all the burden on himself, never laying any part of the blame on the other party, because he had a bad case of idealizing others.

December could never do anything wrong or have any extenuating circumstances that could add further nuance to the situation. Er, others. Others could never do anything wrong or have any extenuating circumstances that could add further nuance to the situation.

It was never complicated!

It was absolutely complicated and Bear didn't know how to handle it.

Bear was afraid to see who it was that came in. More afraid of who it might not be than anything. But then the voice of the person he'd hoped it would be reached his ears, and he stopped coloring, paused a moment, then finally looked over to the much smaller man. Then, in maybe a fraction of a moment, he slid to the edge of the bench seat he sat in, an, still seated so as not to tower over December (not that he was really consciously thinking about that at the time) enveloped him in to a warm, gentle, hug.

"I'm glad you came back," he finally said, softly, if not a bit hoarse and maybe choking back emotions. "Of course you can join me."

"Of course," Bear replied to the request to keep hugging - honestly, he hadn't been ready to let go, himself. A large hand gently rubbed December's back in a soothing gesture.

Bear liked to believe that he was used to being left, ghosted, all those things, but he wasn't. It was something he'd come to expect, but it always hurt. There really were no words for how happy and relieved he was that December had come back, and he thought maybe all this could have been avoided if he knew himself a bit better, and what he really wanted.

Truth be told he was lonely, and he wasn't inclined to fulfill that with sexual company. He wasn't even sure he really had sexual interests - when every time he thought about being with someone that was the furthest thing from his mind. He was even more confused about the differentiation between sexual attraction and aesthetic attraction. If he couldn't explain it to himself, how could he ever explain it to someone else? It always seemed to be the first thing people wanted to know, ask, do.

He just wanted....a constant companion there to share in life experiences with, to spoil with little surprises and spontaneous fun and shenanigans. But his ideas didn't exactly mesh with what the people he usually attracted had in mind, or expected from someone who looked like him. Especially if they were 'his type.'

He'd thought a lot on the conversation with December. It was confusing. For both of them. He didn't want to bring it up. He liked December, he fit Bear's aesthetic preferences - lithe, smoll, cute. Bear wanted to accentuate that cuteness, dress him up, cuddle, do cute things, but did that translate in to a sexual attraction? Did those things make him feel that way? What was that even like? And how did he know for sure that wasn't what it was he wanted when he didn't know what it was?

Ugh, he was just a mess. It was no wonder no one really bothered spending the time on him.....

What added to his confusion, and perhaps confused him even more was how.....willing December had been to offer himself up in a sexual way. As if it were normal. By all sense of morals that Bear had been raised with, it shouldn't be, and that made Bear feel.....mad? Not at December, but at whatever experiences December had had to make him feel like it was normal. But maybe it was, and Bear was the one who had been raised weird? Maybe that's why Bear was so confused and broken.

All that though, all of it could just be put aside for the time being, with a hug.

"A lot of people would be disappointed if I didn't open up shop today," ear answered in a gentle but matter-of-fact way, 'But we can keep coloring for a bit."

Bear slowly and reluctantly dropped the big warm hug he had wrapped December in and quickly somewhat fumbling, divided up coloring books and shoved coloring utensils to the middle of the table while encouraging him to take a seat.

There wasn't any need to talk further about the previous day if December didn't want to - they could just color. Sometimes Bear would have to get up to do something in the kitchen, but he wanted to do his best to keep it gentle environment while their fragile circumstances began to mend.

Bear was coming back from one of his trips to the kitchen when he found December asleep. He stood there a moment, hand rubbing the back of his own head while he debated what to do - he could let December keep sleeping there, or wake him up. If December had had just as restless a night as he had, then he could no doubt use the sleep... But how much rest could he really get sitting at the table, and especially once customers came flooding in?

It...it was probably a bad idea, given how things were right now but.... Bear picked December up with ease and carried him through the business and out the back, all the way up to the second floor where Bear lived. The couch would have been suitable, but he wanted December to be as comfy and warm as possible. He wound up tucking December in to his own bed, with its quilt and warm comforter. Snuggle, who's tail had been wagging the whole time, and little black button eyes watching with curiosity, got up on the bed and sniffed. Recognizing the scent of the other human in her servant's bed, she laid down close.

Content that Snuggle would keep him good company, Bear left, heading back down to work in the bakery.


Whenver December would eventually wake, he'd find himself in a clean but cozy room. There were three doors - one left open that lead to the living room - Bear left it open so that December wouldn't feel confined. Another door would lead to the bathroom, and the third was a simple closet door. Behind the headboard of the bed was a window that would look down to the area in front of the bakery. There were bedside tables on either side of the bed, a tall table with the small TV on top of it across the room, and a large trophy cabinet against the wall near the door that lead to the living room. The cabinet held many awards, and photos from Bear's days partaking in strongman competitions. The walls of the room itself had a cozy sort of old feel - being a deep and warm tone of wood panelling that probably had the 50's-70's calling wanting their walls back The floor was a nice, dense, carpet that was a deep blue. A few of Snuggle's toys were scattered here and there.