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 Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 2:03 pm
After her talk with Ahri, Talia wasn’t completely sure what to do, but she know that something had to be done. She couldn’t just very well leave someone who claimed to want to be purified stuck in the mire of Chaos…but.
Sighing, she rested against Zac, pleased that he was home early tonight. “I need to talk to you about a few things. Ahri asked me if I could help purify another half youma that I guess. Has asked for it…but. If you wouldn’t mind too terribly much, I’d like you to scout things out for me first. It’s.”
She couldn’t look at Zac while she spoke and instead focused on his hand, lightly tracing her fingertips over the back of it. “It’s not that I don’t trust that this is something that’s real. I just. Don’t think I could trust any half youma. At least not right now. I want you to talk to him, and if you smell any kind of hint of a trap…” She shrugged and finally glanced up at Zac’s face. “Take him to your wonder and leave him there to rot. I’m not putting the court in danger again. I’m not putting myself in danger again, and you of all people can be trusted to take care of this if it is a danger.”
Talia hesitated. “...Will you do this for me?”
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 3:10 pm
Zac had been slouched backwards, a pillow shoved under his elbow so he could support himself and Talia comfortably. He’d been playing on his phone when Talia asked and couldn’t help but raise a brow when she spoke. It didn’t surprise him that Ahri would be sensitive to half-youma.
His face didn’t change when she spoke, but that wasn’t so uncommon. He was listening, seriously.
The request itself was the surprise. Or rather, that she’d have wanted him to let anyone rot.
There was a rational part of him that said Talia was just hurting, that she didn’t mean that. He didn’t ask her, though. Didn’t press the subject.
“Sure,” he said, as though she were asking him something as simple as getting the mail.
He could respect that she didn’t want to put anyone in danger. He didn’t want her at risk, either. Especially with her arm how it was.
“Were you worried I’d say no?”
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 3:32 pm
“Nah. Just worried you’d look at me like I was an invalid and tell me that I didn’t actually mean what I was saying but you’d talk to him anyway. I’m glad that you didn’t. You were right. Ru was right. I’ve been naive. I guess I won’t anymore. It’s fine. If people want to purify then I’ll help them. But on my terms, not theirs. Not anymore.”
Talia sighed and closed her eyes again, letting her weight rest on Zac finally. “I have so many regrets. I should have stuck to my own thoughts. I should never have shown them what I had become. Now all I’ve done is ******** myself. I’m not listening to anyone’s suggestions anymore. I’m done. I don’t need anyone. I don’t need people. I need to just do what I know has to be right. I’m tired.”
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 5:03 pm
Zac tilted his head just slightly to the side as he looked at you. “Treat you like you were an invalid? Just because one arm doesn’t work doesn’t mean you can’t fend for yourself.” Even if he had been trying to look out for her a bit extra, it wasn’t because he didn’t think she couldn’t do something, he was just trying to make her life easier. That’s what a boyfriend was supposed to do anyway, right?
He bit back the urge to say ‘I told you so’ about Faustite. She knew. He didn’t have to rub it in.
Zac hated him so much that he couldn’t even gloat in the satisfaction of being right.
They didn’t know if he was dead or alive, but he wasn’t purified and he probably never would be. Who would want to help him when he was constantly ******** things up? Who would give him a chance?
He kissed her temple. “You sound hangry.”
It wasn’t him picking on her. He couldn’t remember when she ate, and if she was fussing over everything she thought went wrong–everything she thought was wrong with herself–then he knew she was just going to spiral. Food was a good distraction.
He opened up a pizza delivery website on his phone as he continued.
“I’m not going to tell you what to do. But I don’t want you to dwell on the ‘what went wrong’s. I mean, you got to where you are today by following your own path. You got yourself the power to be a Princess. I haven’t met many people who have done that. So don’t beat yourself up too much because one thing went wrong.” Faustite was bad. Rotten. To the core. Always had been. Her heart was just too big to see it.
Still, Zac hadn’t wanted her to change.
Didn’t want her to encourage him to take people to his Wonder to rot. He didn’t want he to start thinking he was a monster just because he’d do it. For her.
Even if he’d told himself he was going to try to be ‘better’.
“So you’re naive, whatever. It’s not the worst thing in the world, Talia. Trying to see the good in someone almost always works out. I can count the number of people who have wasted that opportunity on, like, one hand.” Faustite, specifically. He’d count him on his middle finger.
She was just raw. Hurt. Zac didn’t want to agitate that. He didn’t want he to wallow or think she deserved to sit here and beat herself up.
“I think it’s a good idea to follow your own path. Do things on your own terms. Honestly, it’s probably for the best that they know about you. I mean, it sucks. But there are more Lysithea Knights now. You’ve run into two–how many do you think the Negaverse might have found already? Better they know you’re a Princess instead of trying to take any of those little Pages back and trying to figure out what’s going on. Someone was going to start asking questions eventually. But I’m sorry things happened the way they did. You deserved better.”
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 8:36 pm
“If you think I’m just asking for this because I’m hangry, I think that you don’t really know me at all.” She pulled away from him, shaking her head and trying to hold back a sudden flood of tears.
Hangry. He. Was he honestly serious? “I’m pissed off. Ahri was pushing buttons that I really didn’t want pushed. He was acting like nothing was wrong and sure he has his head in the clouds, I get that but. I’m not hangry. Please don’t belittle me.”
Talia wiped a hand across her eyes. “Yeah. So the Pages and Squires and Knights would get picked on. That was a great reason to make me out myself when I really didn’t want to. I hate it. I hate how it happened. I hate when it happened. I hate that all of those people were there. I hate that I was told to do it because it would bring hope. It brought nothing but death and pain.”
Stumbling out of bed, Talia drew in a shuddering breath and made her way to the stairs. “I’m going out.”
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 9:09 pm
Zac bit the inside of his cheek and resisted the urge to audibly sigh. He wasn’t good at being delicate. He tried. He wasn’t perfect. He reached out to catch her wrist.
“Talia. You don’t want me to coddle you. Don’t get mad at me for trying to look after you without making you feel like an invalid. I haven’t seen you eat all day. And any time I’ve seen you eat this week, you’ve hardly done more but pick at things. You’re making yourself sick over all of this.”
He wasn’t perfect. He wasn’t the prince in all the fairy tales, he knew that. He was rough around the edges. He was under a lot of pressure and trying to juggle his own s**t, too. He was worse at asking for help than she was because he’d rather just shove it down until it ate him alive. At least she was trying to solve her problems.
“I’m not belittling you. I just think you’re taking the weight of the world and trying to hold it all by yourself. There’s plenty wrong, I get it. You don’t want to talk about things, I get that too. But I’m walking on eggshells here. Don’t leave. I thought you’d call me a d**k and we’d keep talking, and we’d get something to eat, and we’d figure things out. I don’t want you to go. Just tell me what I can do to help you out here. I’m trying, Talia.”
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 9:25 pm
“I’m not hungry. I haven’t really been hungry since it all happened. But that doesn’t mean I’m hangry. You are being an a*****e.” She paused and huffed. “Excuse me, I mean a d**k.” Talia didn’t try to leave. She didn’t try to pull away and even took a step backwards towards him. She wanted to rub her eyes again, but now that he had hold of her good arm, that really wasn’t possible.
“I get that you’re trying…and I do appreciate it. I’m just. Tired. And frustrated. And I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so angry at just. Everyone. Encke. Albite, That idiot who started the fighting. Me. Varuna. Everyone who was there. I know that I should be mad at Faustite but I can’t figure out how to be. How the hell do I put blame on someone who was my brother and now is just…gone. Dead. A youma. Or burned up into smoke. I…I want to be mad at him. I want to hate him for not trusting me…but.”
She swallowed and shrugged, shoulders slumping. “I can’t find the anger for him.”
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 10:14 pm
What, seriously? Faustite was literally the easiest person to be mad at.
Zac bit his tongue and ignored the waves of rock and fire tumbling in his gut. He’d be mad at Faustite for her. Dead or alive, it didn’t matter. Human, youma. It didn’t matter.
Now that he’d caught up with her, he sighed softly and wrapped an arm around her to pull her close. He brushed his thumb across her cheek for her, trying to stop the wetness from pooling.
“I know you’re angry. I know you’re not feeling yourself. I just need you to know that this isn’t your fault. You did your best, and you did everything you were supposed to do. I don’t like you beating yourself up when you didn’t do anything wrong. You’re tired, you’re stressed. You’re not eating, you’re not sleeping. I know it sucks. You’re doing your best. I know you’ve only got one arm, you want to go to a rage room? Get a big stick and just bust the hell out of a room full of s**t?”
It wasn’t a perfect answer. He didn’t even know if it was an answer. But it was something, and if she couldn’t eat or sleep and all she could think about was her anger...
Well, he always resorted to violence when he was in that boat.
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Posted: Tue May 02, 2023 3:10 pm
Talia paused and looked up at Zac, her nose wrinkling. “...What’s a rage room? Is that actually a thing or are you like…going to stick me in the closet with a stick?”
Not that she thought it would be so bad to just be stuck in a closet with a stick but.
She swallowed and rested against him after a moment of stiffness. “...You were going to order pizza. Let’s finish that and…then we can talk about rage rooms and hanger. Deal?” It was the best sort of compromise that she could come up with, at least for now. And the main thrust of what she wanted had been agreed on. If he thought this half youma was lying, Zac would take care of it…and honestly. That was all that mattered.
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Posted: Tue May 02, 2023 5:50 pm
Something like relief flooded through Zac, who realized in that moment just how stressed and prepared for the worst he seemed to be now, constantly. The realization lingered in his mind for less than a second before he shoved it down. Who cared, he had better things to focus on, anyway.
Like Talia eating.
“Sounds like a good plan. They make rooms like that,” he promised. She was still resting against him, so he took the opportunity to scoop her into his arms. He could carry her back to bed, get her tucked in, and order that pizza.
“Malcolm told me about it.” He didn’t elaborate on why. It was probably easy to assume that Malcolm was either trying to look out for Zac and find the closest thing to therapy he knew his brother would accept, or he’d just gotten so fed up on Zac’s bad attitude that he’d wanted him to go take it out on stuff instead of him.
“Maybe you and I should make a date out of that, too.”
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Posted: Tue May 02, 2023 6:04 pm
“...That should wait until my arm grows back…but it sounds interesting at the very least…”
Talia sighed and rolled a little closer to him, breathing in the scent of Zac for a moment. “...We should try an escape room too…those look like a lot of fun…and…I know that the kids are looking forward to the zoo…I’m sorry, Zac. I love you. I just. Hate everything right now, and that’s…just making it all really hard.”
Hopefully he would understand…and if he didn’t…well.
Then that would just…be that.
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Posted: Tue May 02, 2023 6:56 pm
With her back in the bed, Zac crawled back in next to her. “I get it.”
There were days when he felt empty and hollow and angry and that was it. Nearly the whole time he’d spent looking for her while she was in the Negaverse. He couldn’t remember things very clearly, but he remembered feeling that same concoction of emotions when he thought he’d lost Evan. He’d felt it just before he hurt his brother.
He couldn’t remember all of it, so he knew it was worse than the uncomfortable, sinking feeling that came with the memories.
“You’ve got a lot going on, anyway, Talia. I want to help. If we can take your mind off of it for long enough for you to relax some, good. But if you need someone to have your back, you know I’ll be there. I’ll do whatever I can. Including an escape room.” Or the zoo, with her little Lysithea Knights. He’d even try not to swear in front of them, or whatever you were supposed to do around kids. Not break things.
They’d figure it out.
He just wanted her to be okay.
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