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 Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2023 3:27 pm
Ever since Faustite had announced that he was dying. That the youma was taking over his body…that he needed to be purified to be saved…Celadonite had felt utterly and completely sick.
It was time for his daily time as a human and Lionel had gone back to his house, as he did often enough and paced around for nearly half an hour before he sent a text message to Hinata asking for her to swing by on the pretext of trying on another jacket he had made for her, this one in a dark green, almost black snakeskin with turquoise gems on the back in the shape of a horse. It was gaudy but…
Damn if he didn’t love it.
When the knock on the door came, Lionel made his way over and opened it, looking haggard. He was thin and pale and there were dark circles under his eyes, but…hopefully she would simply think that he was worried…and he was just.
…Perhaps more than he should have been, and for the wrong reasons.
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Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2023 4:03 pm
Everything had felt like it was teetering on a knife's edge, of late. As her plans to leave the Negaverse crystallized into something firm, something real, at least in her own heart, Hinata felt as if every interaction she had with her team had become yet another false persona.
She had to smile. Had to fake. Had to pretend to be loyal, for however long it took to be in a position to make her final getaway.
So she'd accepted Lionel's invitation. Gone to his house. Knocked on his door. Wondered, the entire time, if he'd be doing this if he knew what she intended to do. Probably not.
When she laid eyes on him, she exhaled.
"Rough night?"
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Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2023 5:10 pm
Grimacing slightly, Lionel shrugged. “Rough…however long it’s been. Faustite’s announcements have. Gotten me kind of. Extremely off balance and I’m. Just trying to figure out what I should do. I’d like to ask him about it but he’s got enough going on…I…”
Unburdening himself would feel so good, but none of what he had been thinking about sounded good with any view of it that you took.
“It’s been…hard being the only other half youma…and seeing what’s going on. I’m. Just afraid that this will happen to me in the future and I’m just…trying to decide if I should just…save it the trouble and take care of the issue before it gets bad or…whatever. I don’t know. I haven’t really slept. I’m worried and. Ah. I’m sorry, you came here for your jacket, not to hear my issues. I’m really proud of this one.”
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Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2023 12:28 pm
Hinata nodded. "Yeah, it's....looking pretty bad, isn't it."
Lionel was one of the people who was closely entwined with Faustite, as far as she knew. She imagined the news had to be hitting him particularly hard for a lot of reasons--not least their shared affliction.
"It's alright," Hinata said. "Haru's been a mess, and I...I just...." She sighed. "I don't know what I'll do, if something happens to Faustite. I joined this team for him, you know. And I'm not sure I trust what will happen to the others if...."
She couldn't even make herself say it, for a moment.
"....I'm sorry. That's grim."
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Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2023 12:39 pm
Glancing away for a moment, Lionel drew in a breath and stood up, grabbing the jacket and presenting it to Hinata. “Here, I do hope you like it. I. It suits you, and I”m glad someone in this crew has a bit of fashion sense that I do. I wish we had gotten to hang out more.”
Was the wrong? To use the past tense? There was nothing guaranteed that he was going to turn feral. That he was going to lose himself to the youma that he had nearly become..there was nothing guaranteed for…anything in this world but…
“...Or, I wish that we had gotten to hang out more when things were easy, I should say. Not that I’m going to die like…I mean. Not that Faustite’s going to die…and I won’t just go get purified even if that might save me all of…ah….I mean…”
He rubbed his face with his free hand and shook the jacket a little, hoping that it caught the woman’s attention and she just…didn’t listen to him.
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Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2023 1:24 pm
She took the jacket, and turned it over in her hands. She couldn't help her little smile, at it--the craftsmanship was fine, and it was lovely, and she put it on and found that, as expected, it fit perfectly.
"This is lovely. Thank you, Lionel," she said, genuinely. "I...."
Her expression became distant. Tired. She glanced away, guiltily.
"May I confess something? Strictly confidential, please."
Perhaps if he was having the same thoughts, he wouldn't judge her. Perhaps he would sell her out anyway to deflect suspicion. She wasn't sure she cared, at this point. She just needed to tell someone on her team how she was feeling.
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Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2023 1:49 pm
Lionel blinked and though he seemed very pleased that the jacket fit, since of course it would…her next words had him feeling…more than a little uncomfortable. “What’s on your mind Hina?” He paused. “If you’re okay with me calling you that, I know some people can be touchy about names, so just tell me plainly if it’s crossing a line.”
Was he deflecting? Perhaps. But…if she found him trustworthy enough to confess something to him…well. She could deal with him giving her a nickname. Lionel liked names to be short. Like Andy or Eion. Too many syllables made him sad. Even if it was just one less, it still saved time.
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Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2023 2:02 pm
"Mm. It's fine, I like being called Hina." The little nickname made her feel a sort of...warmth, and comfort. Silly, really, but....not very many people called her that.
"I just....I don't know if I can stay in the Negaverse," her admission was quiet, and guilty, and she stared down at the jacket as she made it. "This team...I'm afraid of them, sometimes. Of how, as a collective, they're...violent. Aggressive. How they might see my work making connections with the other side, and misinterpret it."
Especially one specific connection to the other side.
"I don't know. It's a silly thing." Maybe if she played it down, it would come across as an idle thought. Nothing to worry about, really.
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Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2023 2:07 pm
Lionel nodded, smiling slightly when she gave permission to call her that, but the smile swiftly fell when she mentioned not wanting to stay any longer. “...You mean I might lose my fashion buddy?” There was another attempt at a smile, but it quickly fizzled out and after a moment, the male closed the difference between the two and drew Hinata into his arms for a moment.
“...They’re a lot, I know. And Faustite…ah.”
This wasn’t the time to let loose his own fears and concerns and…
“I mean..you’d have to be careful if you took the course. You know you’d be in even more danger if you did leave. There’s no way of wiping yourself off of that shitlist..a traitor to the team...that’s just. Bad.”
There was concern in his voice, and he was concerned for her wellbeing but.
If you had to go, you had to go. “...I hope we could find a way to still be friends.”
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Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2023 2:25 pm
Oh.
It was strange, how something so small could be her breaking point.
But Lionel pulling her into a hug, while it startled her at first, snapped something inside her at the same time.
Before she knew it, she had her arms around him and her face buried in his shoulder, and she was sobbing.
Ridiculous, she thought, distantly, I'm being absolutely ridiculous, Lionel is romantically involved with Eion and losing so much more, I'm just a pretty little idiot who doesn't want to give up her nice life--
All the berating herself in the world didn't stop it, though.
"I....I know, I know that I'll be putting myself in a different kind of danger, but if I'm away, on the other side...I mean, no one has seen Nembus since she left, perhaps I can--" She wasn't sure what she was going to say. Disappear? That wasn't really in her nature. "I'm afraid. I've been afraid for so long, and it just keeps getting worse, and I don't....I don't think I can...."
She hiccuped.
"Ah, look at me, crying all over you--I'm sorry, this is....absurd."
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Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2023 2:30 pm
“God help her if they do find her…” He murmured, reaching up to stroke Hina’s hair gently. “You have to do what you have to do. I’m. Honestly wondering if I should just bite the bullet and make the same choice while it’s not…a life threatening kind of thing…I…”
He swallowed and held her a little tighter as she cried. How long had this been building up? How long had she just been keeping it all inside? That…wasn’t healthy at all but. He was guilty of the same thing, to some extent…
“It’s not absurd. You’ve felt alone and now you have someone to listen. You’re past your breaking point and it had to come out. I get it. I really honestly get it.”
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Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2023 2:46 pm
Hinata nodded. It had been her job, once, to track Nembus down. she'd failed in that assignment, and she had never been gladder for it. But it had taught her something.
That it was very much possible to disappear.
"Maybe you should," Hinata said, softly. "and maybe we'll find each other on the other side."
She hoped so.
"You're a good friend, Lionel. I'm lucky to have you."
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Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2023 2:51 pm
For some reason the words brought tears to his own eyes and Lionel cleared his throat and squeezed the woman once more before he let her go. “...If you want to give back the jacket, I can make some modifications so that you can still wear it if you want…I mean. Make it easy for you to make modifications so that…it doesn’t give you away. It shouldn’t be so hard.
It wasn’t much. He knew that he couldn’t do much for someone who was openly contemplating treason…but. So was he so…
It didn’t much matter.
“...Can I ask you a…kind of uncomfortable question…? If you don’t mind?”
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Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2023 3:10 pm
Hinata stepped away when he let go, and shifted out of the jacket, offering it back and taking a moment to wipe her face with the sleeve of her undershirt. Better that than damaging such a fine gift.
"I'd like that a lot," she said. "Even if...I know that the price of treason is memory. And even if I forget the specifics, I would like to have something to remember with." It would be a piece of her past that she could hold onto, no matter what. A piece of the team that had, for so long, felt like an anchor, keeping her steady and in place.
She gave Lionel a slightly wry smile.
"Please, ask away. It only seems fair."
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Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2023 3:16 pm
He took the jacket back and sighed at what he would have to do to it in order to allow her to customize it enough that it wouldn't be known but…but at the same time…only [ i]he had seen the jacket so…
“You know what, just keep it. I don’t go out often enough for you to have to worry about it giving you away but um.” Clearing his throat, Lionel finally sighed.
“...How does your brother stand it? Sharing Faustite, I mean. I. It was fine when it was Albite, like I could handle sharing with Albite and I even…I don’t know. Could have seen us all three together but now it’s…it’s like everyone’s with Faustite and…I have no place. I literally feel like I’m the useless one and I don’t…know how to deal with it. And he accused me of leaking information and…damnit. It hurt. I’m just useless. Can’t work for half the year because I’m too cold because it seemed like a good idea to literally give up my humanity for a guy and…”
He swallowed and bit his lip hard enough that he tasted blood.
“And he has a dozen other guys to keep him sane and happy…and so I just spend most of my time wishing I hadn’t…done what I did. And hating myself for being like this. For being jealous. It’s. Stupid.”
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