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 Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2023 8:56 pm
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They stood there. Plans made and confirmed. Dismissal clear.
Helio heard very little of it all. Sure, he’d listened, retained, but the entire time a panic grew within his chest. A little voice inside his head, small and almost insignificant at first grew into a roar “No! No! This can’t actually be happening!” Over and over it repeated. Leaving the corrupt standing there as people filed out. Some remained. Others stayed to discuss the implications of the plan, but Heliodor didn’t care. His sights were set upon that General. That young man, his boy, standing there fighting back the rasping coughs, the painful blisters and cracked skin. Stood there looking as if this mission was just another, daily task to be carried out. Hiding the pain Helio knew was tearing Faustite…El apart from the inside out.
Cincher or not, there was not a care given as Helio approached, eyes solemn as he reached out to take one of those hands with careful tenderness. He tugged a request at that hand as he moved towards a side door. Eyes not leaving those dark fiery orbs. “I…can I talk to you?” He said, voice cracking. Clearing his throat he looked away a moment, contained himself before finally letting go of that hand as he finally reached for the door, opening it in invitation. He didn’t even care if there were blisters on his own skin from the touch. Too focused on what he was doing otherwise.
His other hand clutched tightly upon the leathery container there.
There was no way he was going to let this go. Not now. There was so little time left, and while this…all of it meant that his boy got to live, flourish even, the price they were going to pay was agonizing, because despite all of the comforting and encouraging words that had been passed around, there was no guarantee that anything would ever return to how it was now. Relationships would likely be shattered. Lost and forgotten, some maybe rekindled, others left to fade away.
The fear of the latter was what spurred the corrupt into motion.
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Posted: Sun Apr 09, 2023 2:42 am
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The plan was out. They had only to execute it now. It was exhausting, and Faustite felt like he needed to lay down imminently, but he also felt paradoxically light. Hopeful, for the first time since his youma side had started overtaking him.
He would live. He would rejoin the Negaverse as soon as he left it. It would cost him dearly, but he could still be with his boys. They'd build new memories. Likely they'd be training him, if what happened to Cybele and Lysithea then happened to him. Perhaps they'd demote him to Lieutenant and he would have to work his way up. But all that seemed eminently doable, for he would be alive — and he would be home. Whatever they expected of him, even if it was cleaning the toilets in the entire Citadel for a solid month, he would find the wherewithal to do it.
As he watched the others leave, the tug at his hand shocked Faustite enough that he tried to slip out of it until he saw the host. The way Heliodor asked — Faustite didn't stall. Whatever remained to be discussed could wait. As he coughed heavily into his free hand, Faustite followed Heliodor to the yet-unused dining room.
"You'll burn yourself," he managed through a few coughs. "Let go," he asked quietly. Heliodor needed those hands. Once he came back, Faustite needed him to have enough feeling left in his fingers that they could hold hands again.
"Know I asked a lot, but there's not another way." They looked. They tried. Faustite set Axinite to it, and he could only find methods for slowing it down. Bloodstone condemned him to death. Even Taenite, as resourceful as that boy was, could do nothing to prevent Faustite's youma side from eating through his body.
And Heliodor looked so torn apart for it. Just looking at him ached terribly.
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Posted: Sun Apr 09, 2023 3:35 am
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“No. It’s fine.” He said, quietly. “It needs to be done. You know I’d do anything for you.” He remarked with as much calmness as he could muster. Because, as hard as this was on him, Helio knew it had been a tough road to acceptance for Faustite. Trading his memories for his life though…there was no way anyone could fault Faustite for it. “It’s a sound plan and we will get you back.” He offered a smile even if a touch of sadness reflected in his golden eyes. “You’ll be safe and whole and we will all figure it out.”
He huffed a heavy breath, letting his eyes roam over the room.
“I know we haven’t always been the most cohesive couple.” Tentative, careful words as he pieced his mind around what he wanted to say. “The amount of scars we have given each other though has built us to where we are now. Somehow, some way, we keep coming back to each other. I never thought it would turn out like this in the end, us together.” His eyes roamed back to those dark ones alight with an ever-burning flame. Helio’s expression turned a bit more warm. Hopeful. “I want you to know I won’t ever forget everything we’ve done. I’ll do my damn hardest to show you. Share anything and everything I have with you once this is all done.
“I want to go into this with no regrets. No ‘what ******** this was hard! He knew this should be full of happiness and excitement. Perhaps he was over blowing it all, but the circumstances made his feel desperate and clingy. Far from the optimal situation of proving one’s unfaltering love to another, but here he was. Doing his damn best to keep himself checked so as not to create more strain on his boy. But, Helio needed this and, he hoped Faustite would feel the same.
So, he lifted the box, thumbing it open to present it to Faustite. A ring of dark titanium lay settled within the cushion with a red and gold, almost molten, stone center around the entire circumference with intricate swirling designs of titanium breaking up that near glowing lava appearance. “I want to make sure that you have this. Make us official. Finally.” With careful ease he pulled the ring from the cushion to present it to Faustite.
“I loved you as Rowan and now I love you ever more as I am today.”
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Posted: Sun Apr 09, 2023 3:40 am
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You know I'd do anything for you.
That was what worried Faustite. It harkened back to Taenite's concerns that Heliodor might let his strong emotions get the better of him when he needed to retain control. Faustite likewise understood that, if Heliodor's devotion was strong enough, he'd give up his life for Faustite — or whoever he'd be. Heliodor would see that as a worthwhile sacrifice instead of a senseless death. Between fiances, Heliodor's unyielding devotion was terribly heartwarming, but if Heliodor elected to throw his life away in the coming ambush, or fight to keep him alive at the cost of himself?
Faustite would feel a crushing guilt, but that didn't bother him as much as the alternative. He didn't know how he would live knowing that Heliodor was dead, but he would continue on in honor of his boy. But if Heliodor died for him, and Faustite only knew him as a stranger? That was a poignantly rotten fate that neither of them deserved.
So Faustite didn't want Heliodor to take any chances with himself, if that's what this was. If he was ready to tell Faustite that the world wasn't worth living in if Faustite had forgotten him —
As Heliodor began his speech, Faustite felt his breath leave his body. Felt his throat constrict. If this was some sort of death speech, if Heliodor had something else planned —
But the boy's intentions became more clear as he went on, as he spoke of a future that Faustite wasn't certain they would have. Faustite wanted to hug the boy. Wanted to reassure him that he wouldn't forget any damn thing, that Heliodor could keep his ******** memories to himself because they needed to make as many new ones as they could when he was back. That they needed to go on Waru's oft talked-about road trips and spend the day at the reservoir together and spend hours lying in bed in Aelius's tiny apartment and visit his brother and go ******** do anything the wanted. Anything they could dream of. But Faustite couldn't wear the cincher anymore.
So he spent his dregs of energy to become Eion, and upon seeing the ring, seized Heliodor in a desperate hug. Fingernails bit into his fuku material as Eion crushed himself into the boy. "You have terrible timing, you ******** b*****d." Toothless words left him in throaty warbles. "I hate you. And I love you. You can't do this to me."
Tears stained the boy's shift. Eion mustered the shards of his voice back together. "I don't want to forget you."
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Posted: Sun Apr 09, 2023 8:27 pm
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Helio reacted to that abrupt motion and wrapped his arms around his boy tightly. He held him close, half laughing and half crying at the sheer amount of emotion that welled up between them. As much as it might have felt like a reaper was looming in the darkness, Helio wasn’t going to acknowledge it. No. Not tonight. The world may soon come crashing down on them soon enough, but right now, he just wanted this, them, and the future that would be, no matter what it was.
“I know. I am sorry. I promise I hadn’t intended to give it to you like this.” He said with his own warbled voice, fingers diving into dark hair as he continued to cling tight. “I just…I can’t let you do this without knowing for sure. A promise wasn’t enough. I wish it could have been more.” Gods how much more he wished it could be instead of just stealing a little time. But, there was nothing else for it. These moments were the fuel that kept him going and he hoped the same could be said to his boy who clung to him as tightly as he did Lex.
That little acknowledgement of what was looming… Helio kissed the top of Lex’s head. “I don’t want you to either, but…” It was inevitable. There was no getting around it unless they all had some sort of incredible luck for a sliver of those memories to survive. “I’ll remember for us both. We can build new memories and I can tell you about us, before all of this.” He pulled away just enough from Lex so he could see the others face which looked wane and tired with a touch of sadness. None of it needed to be talked about. Not now.
“I am going to be here with you every damn step of the way, no matter what it takes, ok? That’s what husbands do.”
He shifted again, a hand grasping one of Faustites, one he knew still was not fully adorned. Brows furrowed a bit at that thought, but he refused to give it any chance to grow. Not now. This was about what they had. Nothing else. “Here.” He said as he slipped the ring onto the finger that he’d purposely gotten the ring sized for. It had been several months since their conversation about rings, but Helio had made sure to do it right. Well, as right as he could. “I hope you like it. It also shouldn’t melt.” Well, not that that would be an issue soon.
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Posted: Mon Apr 10, 2023 4:28 am
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Faustite turned his head to hack out some sooty, ashen smoke and wheezed some breath back into his lungs. He could feel each breath chafing against his beleaguered throat. Snorting back snot and tears did nothing; he still struggled to breathe around all of it, around Heliodor's choice to give him the ring now. His boy was thoughtful, delightful, incredibly sentimental. To lose any memories of him, especially this one —
Faustite choked out a sob against Heliodor's black-stained outfit. He pried a blistered hand away from his boy enough to gesture to the air, and in his hand appeared the last of the bone-carved set. He had gotten progressively better at it, having learned which ways to pick and chisel at the bone matrix to create the forms and patterns that he desired. This one was painted a bright, auspicious yellow, like a ginkgo leaf in autumn, with orange and red licking at the edges of the ring. Between the two carved bands was a pseudo-inlay where the bone was recessed and carved into the texture of bark.
He offered it to Heliodor, for he wasn't extricating himself from the boy to put it on for him. He heard what Heliodor had said, felt the rumble in the boy's chest as he spoke. Felt the ring as it was fitted onto his index finger, cold as the arctic against his overheated skin. The fit was perfect. As he moved his head against Heliodor's chest, he saw that it blended well against the black. Nothing overstated.
"Won't have to worry about heatproofing anymore." Faustite sniffled. Strange to think that he had to give up something that he identified as a part of himself. But for the moment?
For the moment, it was perfect. It was exactly as it had to be.
It was a poignant thing, getting married on the eve of his 'death'. But it meant something to Heliodor, even as it meant a promise of pain to Faustite. Pain that Heliodor would have to endure, pain that Faustite may well be oblivious of as a newly rectified Whole Person. He, and the rest of Faustite's boys, would have to accept that Faustite, in the ways they knew him, was gone. Whatever was left of him was all they got, plus whatever newness came with having an entire body again. They'd have each seen him as a knight, a traitor, and an amnesiac.
It was too much. It was all too much. He clung to the boy, hoping time would stop, hoping they could have every moment they needed.
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Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2023 10:16 am
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Faustite buried a half-bitten yelp against Heliodor's outfit, biting his tongue to avoid detracting from the moment while youma black burned up his arms, his legs. It crawled to his elbows and knees by now, glowing bright as a cigarette cinder whenever it torched away more of his humanity. For the moment, he welcomed the distraction from raw nerves and the bittersweet bleakness that faced them in the coming day. It was enough for him to hold onto Heliodor, unwilling to let go, and more than ready to stay together for the rest of the night and well into the following day.
It made decisions like these so much more difficult, but necessary. For even if Eion trusted Celadonite to bond with him as a youma, and keep him from eating the starseeds of every boy he loved, it would never make up for what his boys had to suffer. The kisses they would never have, the time they would never share alone, and perhaps most damning, the lack of feeling anything beyond a bone-deep loathing nested in a wronging of millennia whenever he felt a senshi on his senses.
The rings he wore were symbol enough that his life wasn't something he could waste on a whim anymore. That he had to survive this, even if he hated the single method for doing so. He'd grown too fond of too many boys to want to exchange his feelings for the indifferent loathing of youma.
"No, it's not," Faustite responded against the fabric of his fuku. "Tell me you want a better one after tomorrow. That you'll remind me in case I forget."
Kisses were easier. Kisses were a language he understood better than the convoluted way that people expressed themselves. He reciprocated with an unabashed desperation, with a trembling touch that was so far weakened by the slow task of dying. He could press all his wants and regrets to those lips, his hopes that the tribulation ahead of them would be enough of a fix to make a better future, that he was sorry, that he wasn't sorry, that he was grateful for every opportunity that he got to share with Heliodor, Aelius, Rowan.
Then he coughed afterward, a racking, blackened mess of smoke and carbonaceous soot. His ribs ached. His body told him that this was enough.
"Love you too," he returned around a few residual coughs. "But your timing ******** sucks. It ******** sucks," he sobbed against the boy, nails curling down to form fists against Heliodor's back.
"Come to bed with me," he whispered.
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Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2023 11:45 am
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“I’ll remind you of everything. I’ll tell you every story that you want me to, but this ring… It’s not coming off. Never. It’s everything I could want because it’s a piece of you made for me.”
The kiss was passionate and spoke so many volumes between them that Aelius was left breathless at the end of it. Tears of anger, frustration and love mingling and threatening to fall for the heightened emotions that swarmed
.
"I know it does. I'm so, so sorry. Kept telling myself that we had time, and if I waited just a bit longer we could properly exchange vows and rings. I wanted this to be a big celebration for you, but instead, I forced us into a corner."
That cough. Horrid and soul wrenching to hear. He held Lex close, but was careful how tight he pulled the boy close for fear of aggravating any of the symptoms of his looming loss of humanity. It wasn’t fair. Not one ******** part of this was fair and all Helio could do was accept it. Fighting against it at this point would only cause more duress for Lex and he wouldn’t do that. Not tonight.
"I suppose the saying better late than never holds true. Shitty timing that it is, I'd hate myself if I hadn't pulled you aside tonight."
Soft words. A whispered request or demand, Helio was unsure, but there wasn’t anything he’d deny his now husband. While a public celebration was out of the cards, they could celebrate together. Celebrate each other and Helio was determined to make sure that Lex knew how deeply and strongly he felt. That there were no regrets. No hesitancy. While not perfect, it was perfect for what they had.
“Tonight, tomorrow and every night after. ” He smiled, placing a kiss atop those dark locks.
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