idr what year i dropped by before but i had written out a kinda life update and deleted kinda soon after cos i felt i was being way too negative for an update lol.
truth is tho. life's not really been super kind to me so. there's not a whole lot of happy to report on. i grew up, got a couple jobs, had a boyfriend for 14+ years that i lived with most that time. had an identity crisis during that and discovered im enby + collecting the alphabet of lgbtq+ and became increasingly unhappy with my cishet presenting relationship with some who barely contributed anything. we got a bunch of cats. i had a mental meltdown in 2020 bc apparently lol im mentally ill af (autism + adhd + bpd + cptsd) and couldn't handle my garbage job and taking care for 2 adults and 5-6 cats lives anymore. bf.. resented me for being unable to work. we.. lost one of our eldest cats last June to sickness we never found out what it was.
he cheated on me. broke up with me. kicked me out and forced me back into my homophobic parents house. kept all my cats from me for months. disappeared to Vegas to ******** the woman he cheated on me with (im.. ace??? and he isn't and i never expected him to stay under those circumstances.. so. kinda feels like s**t he was so eager for it. i also don't mind poly and offered an open relationship specifically to test the waters if either of us ever wanted so the cheating extra sucks too) he came back from Vegas, threw out most of the rest of our life. s**t fit messy and he moved out there with it barely having been 2 months since we broke up.
it's been. a Time lol. i wish i had happier or more positive things to report but. life has just been really hard. i hope it's been kinder to the rest if yall. this place and you guys are some of my favorite memories that in able to remember.
i wonder how many of u stop back by here or are able to come back. or if any of u want to reconnect. (maybe ill post my discord if i think to remember it later)
one good thing that came from all these years, im a vtuber streamer now lol. not like big or professionally (the dream tho) but i got comfy enough to be a content creator like i wanted to do for years. although.. im kinda reworking stuff. redesigning/under construction cos ex interfered a lot with that too and with the disaster this break up has been my channel is kinda all over the place and not organized at the moment. we're working on fixing it back up even better now that he's not here damaging my brain every day (he traumatized me so much he literally gave me motor tics. hoping they're very temporary cos god i hate them so much)
if any of u stop by and are interested in seeing me act a fool to the internet void:
twitch.tv/voxelF0X < that me (for now the name is kinda temp too cos he knew my old name somehow and i didn't want him to show up in my streams now that were broken up. hopefully ill remember to update it here when i get a forreal name). hope thar doesn't seem too shameless pluggy of me;; i just figured I'd put it out there if anyone wants to hang out again 💜 if no one gets to see any of this, im wishing u all well and sending as many good vibes out into the world for u all as much as i can.
love u, fremds.
edit: here's my discord if anyone wants to add me: odd-fox#8165 i'm prone to changing s**t too much so hopefully i won't change if it anyone tries to use or it at least remember to update c':
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