Welcome to Gaia! ::

Lyndin had nodded at the other two Commanders when they stepped out of the room; he watched them leave and had no shortage of pride. For them. For Aliez.

He stayed where he was kneeling for a moment, but the position wasn’t particularly comfortable. He could have dealt with it and pushed through, but he didn’t think there was much need for it. With the space available next to Aliez, he moved to sit next to him on the couch.

“I know,” Lyndin said easily. He didn’t think that was what Vyn wanted Aliez to talk to him about, though. For a moment, he waited, patient and calm. And then, he gently placed his hand on Aliez’s back.

“We’re in private, Aliez. You don’t have to hide your emotions from me. Don’t worry about protocol or what you think my expectations are right now. I think you’re making yourself sick, swallowing them all. It’s all right.” He rubbed at his back gently. “Would you like some tissues? I can get you a cup of tea if that might help.”

Lyndin could see the change as it registered on Aliez’s face, and he frowned when he noticed. He wondered if Aliez was hurting himself with the way he was gripping his knee, and it took great effort for him not to rest his hand over it.

“When have you ever been a burden to me, Aliez?” he asked, equally slow. He seemed to be weighing his words, considering what could have inspired this response from Aliez.

“I hope you don’t think my concern for you is something I resent. I thought it was a testament for how much you mean to me, the opposite of a burden. You’ve looked after me when I was unwell, and I’ve taken your concerns to heart. I rest more, I eat healthier. I take a walk out in the sun once every day or so. I’m not used to this wall between us. Have I done something to upset you?”

Lyndin would have kept his hand on Aliez’s back but he moved so quickly that he slipped away.

It only made Lyndin worry worse. He stood, unwilling to let Aliez slip into the shadows or bully himself more. He saw the fear in his eyes, the emotional dam that splintered.

He didn't flinch when Aliez reminded him that he was dying. It was something Lyndin was acutely aware of. He didn’t care about the discarded pastry; he stepped over it and wrapped his arms around Aliez so he could draw him close.

He held him to his chest and made sure that Aliez could hear his heartbeat–his strong, steady heartbeat.

“Breathe, Aliez. You’ve gone into a panic. You’re too stressed. I want you to focus on my voice. Count along with me in your head if you can, all right? One. Two. Three. Four.”

He repeated it once, twice, three times. He held the young man to him in an embrace that was warm but not suffocating, and he counted along steadily–matching the pace of his heartbeat.

“You’re not rude,” he said between one set and the next. One, two, three, four.

“You’re hurting. And I understand. It’s okay.” One, two, three, four.

“I don’t want you to go. You work so hard to look after everyone else, let me look after you for a bit. You need a break.”

When Aliez went limp, Lyndin just held him up. He didn’t seem to mind the extra weight. It was easy for him, because yes–he was dying. He was stuck to a more limited time frame than the others.

But, he was here for now. He was as healthy as one could imagine–probably healthier, even.

He didn’t chastise Aliez’s sobs, didn’t tell him to stop crying. He was patient, even with the display of emotions. If they were in public, it might have been a problem. If they were on Velencya, it might have been, but Earth was different, and they’d been through so much here already, in only a year. A single Earth year, and so much had already changed.

“But you know what happens when you push a machine past the breaking point,” he said gently. “You know why we have maintenance to repair the machine before it can break down. And we are not machines, Aliez. Sometimes we need unscheduled maintenance. I think, if our positions were reversed, you would be tucking me into bed right now with a glass of water and an ice pack and telling me that I need to rest, and hydrate, and sleep, and do something kind for myself.”

He rubbed his back gently.

“I know it’s not fair. A lot in this universe isn’t fair. I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure I don’t die, Aliez. But I am always moved by your compassion. We have time,” he promised. “And I believe in us. I’ll be here for a while yet, Aliez. I’m working hard to make sure of that.”

“I know,” Lyndin reassured, and continued to smooth down Aliez’s back in an effort to help him find some peace. “But don’t let your heart fill with hate, Aliez. It is a poison, and it can do nothing but hurt you. We have to find a way to work through that, Aliez. But crying is a good start.”

He seemed comfortable there, holding Aliez like it brought him some measure of relief, too.
“The people of Earth are a bad influence, I think. And I have not seen much of the good that the others might have. I have seen darkness, and all their foul intentions. I have seen to what they do to their world, what they do to each other.”

Lyndin didn’t want Aliez to think about those things, though.

“Maybe, they see the potential for what our people can have. A carefree life where we don't have to worry about resources, or overpopulation. Somewhere where we can see sunrises and sunsets, and have spring rain and winter snow. I know they care about Velencya. I know they care about their family. Their friends. Earth is overwhelming, though. Impossibly so. I’ve pulled everyone from their home. This was supposed to be a short mission, and we’ve been here for so long. I know it’s jarring. I’ve told Vyn, I’m working on something. I know you must miss home badly, I’d like to give you all the chance to talk to your family. Maybe, it will remind everyone what we’re fighting for. Maybe it will give everyone the strength to carry on. And, you’re so strong, Aliez. I remember how hard it was to leave my home. I remember how afraid I was of losing it, of losing everything. I remember being scared. I remember hating. I remember thinking I wish I could spend all my energy hurting those who hurt us, but.”

He shook his head. “I had to turn it into something else. Hurting anyone wasn’t going to help my people. We needed food and shelter and security. I had to channel that energy into doing what I could for them, instead. If I am fair and kind, I know what it is like to be stuck away from home with an impossible task ahead. But we overcame. Velenians became Velencians, and for all these years, we have been strong. But this is a new chapter in that book, and we must face another impossible task, and we must again overcome. And, I believe that we can.”

Not because he was there to change the course of destiny, but because they were.

“Find things you love, Aliez. Find things that make you happy. Find things that are worth fighting for, and let them empower you. Let them make you strong, and kind, and fair, as you are. We will overcome this, and I will live on Velencya as it orbits Velenia, and we will look back on this mission, proud of all we have accomplished. It is hard, Aliez, I know it. But you have supported me in all of this, what can I do to support you now?”

There was a bit for Lyndin to unpack. It didn’t immediately register to him that it was any sort of confession, but the more Aliez spoke, the more he understood.

He didn’t scold Aliez. He didn’t push him away.

He held him carefully, still trying to give him a safe space to work through his emotions. Lyndin needed to work through his own. Surprise had overtaken him more than anything, and it was all too easy to blame the forwardness of Earth, and the romantic idealization that seemed to persist on the world, but–

He trusted Aliez, and he wasn’t a child. He wasn’t from Earth. He valued his Velencian roots and upbringing.

It wasn’t the first time that Lyndin had heard someone had joined the Vanguard because they looked up to him, or wanted to be close to him, or wanted to do right by him. It didn’t make it any less important or special to hear it now from Aliez.

As Aleiz spoke, he continued to rub his hand over his back in slow, steady circles.

When Aliez looked up at him, he smiled–a little sadly, but undoubtedly endeared to him. He drew back only slightly, enough so that he could wipe some of the tears from his face and smooth out his hair.

“I suppose that seems fair. What would you like to know?”

Lyndin laughed softly. He’d seen the way Aliez glanced towards the couch, so he mistook the look as Aliez wanting to take a seat. He weighed next to nothing in Lyndin’s arms so he scooped him up and carried him over so they could both sit down again. He stayed next to him, and to make sure Aliez didn’t miss the embrace too much, he wrapped his arm around his shoulder.

“Thank you, it’s only something I’ve recently been made aware of. But I’ll try to give more. I’m not used to such displays, but I think I’ve found they’re very effective. When I was your age,” he clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth thoughtfully.

“Well, I suppose we’d already left Velenia back then. I wanted to be alive. I wanted to be home. I wanted to be strong, so I could protect everyone. I wanted to be a scientist and a doctor, so I could help Caedus. I wanted to be the senshi so I could fix things. But younger, before the invasion, I wanted to be an explorer. I wanted to go on adventures. I wanted to see new places, meet new people. I was a child back then, but if we’d never had the invasion, I don’t know. I would have grown up differently. I would have had fewer obligations. I’d have been more free with myself. I probably would have been more fun. It’s a lot of speculation, I suppose.