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 Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2022 8:51 pm
Michael wasn’t anxious about the boys being away on the Moon. Not really. He might worry that they did not have the tools they needed, or might need help lifting heavy things, depending on the amount of decay their Wonders experienced, but he wanted to give them their independence to do what they wanted and to ask for help when they needed it.
He didn’t want them to feel like he didn’t trust them. He did!
It was just that the Moon was a mystery to him. He’d seen the Code there, listened to it and watched as it grew in strength thanks to… whatever the moon fragment Lyndin blew up did…
And he also knew that it was likely thanks to Lyndin blowing up the fragment was what drew Alastor and all of the other Senshi that were stuck on their worlds to Earth. It was likely what made moths show up on Sessrumnir. Butterflies on Ganymede.
In the park, he was sitting on the bench next to Devyn as he absently played with the necklace he wore, smoothing his thumb over the golden orb. They didn’t have much time left before the boys were scheduled to return, so he wanted to make sure nothing was there to hurt them once they did get back. He didn’t want anything to jump out and attack them.
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2022 8:56 pm
Devyn had leaned back on the bench; he’d stretched his arms over the back of it and his head was tilted towards the sky. Sometimes he seemed to get distracted by the great, dark expanse. Sometimes it was the stars, sometimes the white puffy clouds, or the pale blue daylight. Sometimes, his mind just wandered.
Tonight, he was just admiring it. Sometimes, he was looking for Alastor. Sometimes, he was just looking for something familiar.
The moon was bright in the sky, and sometimes he squinted at it like he might be able to see Amarynthos and Ephesus up there, but everything seemed peaceful.
He and Michael had been talking earlier, but now they’d settled into a comfortable silence. He thought it was sweet that Michael wanted to make sure the boys would be safe coming back in, but Devyn had noticed the way he was fiddling with the necklace.
His head rolled just slightly, so he could rest his cheek on his shoulder as he watched Michael. Devyn probably should have been uncomfortable; he was hardly even sitting on the bench, and seemed more like he was just using it to rest his back as he stretched his legs out in front of him. He watched Michael for a moment, and he didn’t even think he needed a magic necklace to read him.
“You look like you’ve got something on your mind. Is everything okay?”
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2022 9:04 pm
Devyn’s voice pulled Michael from his thoughts, and he glanced over at how Devyn was stretched out across the bench with a slightly exasperated, but also slightly amused expression. He didn’t tell him he should sit up, though. He would just have to make sure Devyn’s back wasn’t hurting him later.
“I don’t know,” he admitted, hand still wrapped around the orb, more to settle himself than to check and make sure Devyn was okay. It was… curious… that it was Devyn’s heartbeat that could keep him grounded when other efforts didn’t work.
Or maybe it wasn’t curious at all. It was steady and constant and just enough to give Michael something to focus on.
“Hoping the boys are okay. I mean, I know you’re going to say that they are. And I know that they probably are. They’re just… so young. I don’t even remember what I was doing when I was their age. Moving a lot. So I studied and played catch with myself or my mom when she had time, or tried teaching Chris. Helped take care of him, too,” he said as he thought back over twenty years ago.
“They’re good kids. They’ll be fine, especially on the Moon.”
He knew he worried needlessly, which was probably why he hesitated before saying anything else.
“Worried about what it’s going to take to get the Chaos off Alastor. What sacrifices might need to be made.”
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2022 9:14 pm
Devyn was an expert liar. He’d had so many years to learn to control himself–his face, his words, his heart. The golden orb in Michael’s hand swirled peacefully in his hand, and maintained the perfectly steady pulse of Devyn’s heart.
“You’re worried about Alastor?” he asked, without picking his head up or moving.
“You might be better off worrying about the boys.” He patted Michael’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze, but he didn’t take his eyes off of Michael, just in case he missed something.
“But I’m sure they’re fine, you’re right. I remember what I was doing when I was that young, and I was getting into a lot more trouble than I think they will. They’re just cleaning up. And we haven’t gotten any messages that they’re in trouble. There’s still a few minutes before they’re supposed to be back.”
He wasn’t worried, not while they were on the Moon. If something were to happen on the Moon, they had a way up there. He didn’t like that it was so far away, but it wasn’t an impossible distance. And, they were probably safer up there than they were down here in Destiny City.
“What sacrifices are you afraid of?”
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2022 9:23 pm
Michael frowned to himself as Devyn patted his shoulder, telling him he would be better off worrying about the boys. Of course Devyn would say something like that, even though Michael couldn’t pick up any inflection in the necklace.
He couldn’t tell for sure if Devyn was hiding his feelings. He’d told him before that he needed to stop doing that, to let Michael know his thoughts so Michael could help him in return. But there was nothing to indicate one way or another.
Just how Michael knew he would feel if he’d been put in the same position Devyn was in.
“I’m afraid that the Chaos is the only thing keeping you alive,” he said after a few moments.
It wasn’t the first time he’d thought it, but it was the first time he’d said it out loud. There were a number of Senshi who’d lived their lives with everyone else a thousand years ago and, what…? Just stopped aging once Chaos took over their worlds?
“What if Alastor is giving you enough life force to keep you alive until the Chaos is gone? I’m afraid that you’ll be the sacrifice needed for Alastor to thrive again.”
He suspected he already knew what Devyn would say. That he worried too much and nothing like that would happen. But it was also improbable that Devyn or anyone else would have lived that long if not for the Chaos.
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2022 9:36 pm
Devyn’s lips pressed together, but he didn’t stop smiling. It was soft. Maybe a little tired. Perfectly in place, though.
“Do you think Chaos has ever been responsible for anything good?”
…Was living so long, alone, good?
He’d considered it. He’d considered a thousand things. What if he was alive out of necessity alone? What if this was his world’s last bit of energy? What if, as soon as he saved it, it exhausted itself? What if his starseed had been through too much, what if it couldn’t make it to the Cauldron? What if it shattered? What if–
It could have been anything. Devyn absentmindedly rubbed at his chest with his free hand, but he kept his other on Michael’s shoulder.
“A long, long time ago, I made a promise to my world. I wasn’t going to leave this life until I made things better. I had a whole dream. I had so many plans.”
He didn’t try to hide the regret in his voice, but it didn’t weigh him down. He had hopes that died with Percy, hopes that died when his people did, when his world did.
Alastor wasn’t dead. It was just on its last legs.
Devyn wasn’t going to let it fall.
“Even if the Chaos is gone, there’s still a lot left to rebuild. Have to find anyone hiding out. Have to pick up the pieces. I can’t have a world full of ruin. I don’t know how much it’s going to take to get rid of the Chaos, but I’m not going to go down without a fight. A good one, too. You know I don’t lose.” He squeezed his shoulder gently. Michael probably didn’t want to just hear pretty words and promises, and hopes and optimism.
He was worried. This wasn’t just about what else could happen. It was what if this does happen.
“If I die, I’ll wait for you. Don’t let my starseed go to the Cauldron, I don’t trust Cosmos. I want to stay with you.”
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2022 9:44 pm
Michael sucked in a sharp breath and immediately looked away from Devyn. His heart was racing. For a myriad of reasons. He was afraid that Devyn would die as a result of getting rid of the Chaos from his world, but in all of Devyn’s confidence and positivity, it was both heartbreaking and fortifying to at least know what Devyn wanted if the worst should happen.
He just couldn’t look at Devyn for a few moments. Not until he was certain the emotion in his voice had a chance to settle, and his eyes were no longer hot.
Really? He almost expected it. Wanted it? Of course not. But it would only make sense that Michael would feel so strongly for someone, only for them to die less than a year after meeting them.
But Devyn’s request also made sense. He’d been without Percy for a long, long time. It would make sense that he wouldn’t want his starseed to be separated from Percy for another thousand years.
He didn’t have to tell Devyn that Atticus needed him. If something happened, Atticus had Elliot and the Reids. He had Soleiyu and Jeremy. He had Michael’s mother who would of course take care of him like one of her own grandchildren. She considered him as such already.
“If that happens, I’ll be right there with you,” Michael said quietly into the darkness, unable to look Devyn in the eye for a moment longer, because he knew Devyn would probably disapprove of Michael putting forth every effort to keep Devyn alive that he would have to be killed first before Devyn for him to allow Devyn to die.
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2022 9:56 pm
Devyn hummed thoughtfully and rubbed Michael’s shoulder again. “Well, I can’t let anything happen to you, so I suppose I’d better have some good plans for how I’m going to get out of this alive. You mean too much to too many people for me to let anything happen to you.”
Never mind the stabbing pain that came with the thought of anything happening to Sessrumnir. If he got hurt again? If he died again–
No, he wasn’t going to let that happen.
Michael was too important to him to let that happen.
Peter couldn’t lose his brother. Claire couldn’t lose her son. Oliver and Asher couldn’t lose their friend, Elliot couldn’t lose his role model.
“I’ve got a plan,” he promised. “I won’t do anything needlessly reckless. And I’ve got a good group to look after me. Maybe I’d be in danger if I was going into this alone, but I’ve got you. I’ve got the others. The Chaos managed to whittle away at my strength, but it didn’t kill me then. I’m as strong now as I ever was before, and I’ve got responsible, capable people to help me handle it. I’m stubborn, Michael. I’ll put up a good fight. I’m not going to lay down and die, no matter how much the Chaos might want it. No matter how much my world might want it. I’ve got too much I want to do on Alastor to start resting now. Too much I want to do on Earth, too. I’m supposed to look after you, I need to make sure you’re taken care of. So, I’m not going anywhere. Not if I have a say.”
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2022 9:04 am
“Sometimes you don’t get a say,” he said before he could stop himself. He didn’t want to be so negative about things. He wanted to be optimistic and plan for a good outcome.
But they didn’t know what would happen. And he’d been in too many situations where things went poorly. People got hurt. People died. It didn’t take much sometimes, just a mistake.
Sometimes those mistakes caused others to die.
And Michael meant too much to too many people…?
“What about you?” he asked before he realized the words were coming out of his mouth.
He immediately pressed his lips tightly together and sighed through his nose. He wasn’t trying to put Devyn on the spot. He didn’t want Devyn to think Michael didn’t already know he was important to him. Of course he was important to Devyn, otherwise he wouldn’t want his starseed to be left with him.
“Forget it. Sorry,” he mumbled, and reached his hand up so he could place it over Devyn’s hand. He didn’t need to start pushing his insecurities off on Devyn, especially right before something dangerous was going to happen.
Maybe he just wanted to know if Devyn felt the same way about him, as he did for Devyn. And not just because he had Percy’s starseed.
“I won’t let anything happen to you, either. I made that promise before, and I don’t intend to break it. We’ll both put up a good fight. And then we’ll figure out ways to restore everything,” he decided.
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2022 9:29 am
Devyn squeezed his shoulder again, and spread his fingers just a bit so he could lace his with Michael’s.
“That’s the spirit,” he encouraged. He looked at Michael for a moment, and he didn’t mind the silence. He shifted, though, so he could sit properly on the bench. He sat upright, but never moved away from Michael.
“I have people on Earth that have made it abundantly clear that they care about me. Your mother’s still helping me set up that gallery, I fully intend to be at the opening. And Atticus, he’s owed a father. I wouldn’t foist that on you, being a single parent’s hard. I have a lot to teach him, still. You know a lot, but I don’t think you know as much about embroidery or braiding hair or doing makeup as I do. Elliot’s always asking for stories, Atticus too, but. I promised them I’d tell them all about Alastor. I can’t die without making sure someone can tell all these stories after I’m gone. And, I’ve got a lot of stories. So, I should probably be here for a long time to make sure they all get told.”
He flashed a little smile, this time, maybe a bit more real. A bit more gentle. A bit more convincing.
“I know you’ll keep me safe. But keep yourself safe, too. Don’t…”
He was quiet for a few seconds, and then looked back at him, this time more seriously. “Don’t ever let yourself get hurt trying to protect me, okay? I know you’ll have my back, but if it’s me or you, let it be me. I’m strong, Michael. I’m durable. I’m stubborn. I’m s**t at first aid, you’ve seen my scars. If I get hurt, you’ve got a better chance of putting me back together than I do you. It’s just practical. Okay? Promise me.”
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2022 9:41 am
Fingers laced easily with Devyn’s. Michael didn’t even have to think about it. It just felt natural. It always did when it was Devyn.
He glanced curiously at him, eyebrows furrowing slightly. It wasn’t an odd request. It sounded like something Michael would have asked of Devyn as well.
But the seriousness of it, and the way he seemed to think about it before saying anything…
“Is that what happened to Percy?”
He knew Devyn hadn’t talked about what happened to Percy, and the memories of what happened hadn’t surfaced yet for Michael. But he knew Percy died relatively young, certainly not of natural causes.
Had he tried protecting Devyn? Had he been injured to the point where Devyn couldn’t do anything to save him? Was that why Devyn was making Michael promise to not get hurt trying to protect him?
“I promise, Dev,” he said quietly, because even if Devyn didn’t want to share -- if it was too painful or he wasn’t ready -- Michael at least wanted to make sure Devyn knew he would heed his request. “You’re getting better at first aid,” he offered a small shrug of condolence as he lowered their hands from his shoulder so he could hold Devyn’s hand easier, especially now that he was sitting up.
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2022 9:52 am
The necklace betrayed him, and the panic and grief and sadness that came with any sudden death slipped in. His smile remained, pressed tightly together to try and keep the pain out.
It didn’t work, and he knew it, and could have laughed at himself if it wasn’t one of the very few topics that had such an effect on him. His grip on Michael’s hand grew and, finally, he nodded.
“Yeah. That’s what happened to Percy.”
Tricking himself into burying memories had bought him time to process and cope and grieve, in a way, but even with a thousand years, or more, it never would have been enough. His eyes strayed briefly, but he composed himself somewhat.
He nodded again, because he was getting better at first aid in the sense that he had more tools available to him. He was still a fast stitch, and he could be gentle with others–he was gentle with Michael, and Atticus, when they needed it. Not so gentle with himself, but he hadn’t gotten so badly hurt that Michael had to see his fast, desperate stitch. He could handle pain and discomfort, he just didn’t want to put anyone else through that.
“And, he deserved so much better than what he got. I wish I could have done more.”
The guilt was heavy in his voice, and his eyes were still cast off into the shadows. He couldn’t look at Michael, but he held his hand and ran his thumb across the back of it.
“He was brave. And he put his heart into everything. And he trusted me, so much.”
His voice had quieted, because these thoughts were private, and unspoken, in all of his life. But, he trusted Michael to share them now. Or, maybe he owed it to him.
“I wish it had been different. If I’d had to lose him, I wish it could have been any other way. But it’s my fault. And I’d do anything to make it up to him if I could.”
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2022 10:02 am
Michael didn’t know the details of what happened. And he wasn’t sure if Devyn was ready to share. He wasn’t going to pressure him, and if that ended up being something he never learned the truth to, or at least Devyn’s version, then Michael would be okay with that. It was Devyn’s private thoughts and memories, after all. Michael was just the product of a thousand years in the Cauldron.
“Do you think that’s what Percy believed?” he asked, his voice soft as he held Devyn’s hand and watched his expression for any changes. Especially with the necklace reacting but Devyn’s expression remaining the same.
“If he died trying to protect you -- succeeding to protect you, it seems… Would he have blamed you for his death? Maybe living is what you are doing to make sure his sacrifice wasn’t in vain,” Michael suggested. And in many ways he knew he should apply that same principle to Riley’s sacrifice, so long ago. Or his other friends who’d died.
“Survivor’s guilt is a b***h,” he sighed after a moment and gently pulled his hand away from Devyn’s. But only so he could lift his arm and place it around Devyn’s shoulders and pull him closer. He pressed a kiss against his temple, and then rested his forehead against Devyn’s hair.
“I’m sorry you lost him.”
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2022 10:15 am
The gesture was intimate, especially when Devyn felt so strangely vulnerable. He wasn’t used to it, and if it were anyone else he probably would have bristled and drawn away, or found some excuse to regain a more defensive demeanor.
But, it was Michael.
His heart hurt, but the tenderness eased him in a way he didn’t really even think he deserved.
Selfishly, he was grateful for it.
He was glad he didn’t have to worry about keeping his expression steady, but he didn’t try to stifle the emotions the necklace felt, either. He leaned into Michael and relaxed a bit against him. He didn’t think he deserved the comfort, but.
He accepted it anyway. Appreciated it. Enjoyed it.
“Percy would have wanted me to live. I know he wouldn’t have blamed me. But I don’t feel like I accomplished much after I lost him. But maybe that’s me. My world had a good few hundred years before the Chaos really started to tear things apart. It’s just. Looking at everyone else here, it feels like maybe that didn’t matter. I wasn’t able to save my world, I wasn’t able to take care of everyone on it. And now, everyone’s on Earth, working to rebuild their worlds. I don’t know. I don’t understand why things happened like this. But if Percy wanted me to live, maybe it’s not the Chaos or my world at all, maybe it’s him. I promised I’d find him again, maybe I’m so old because you took so long to be born,” he teased, but he rested a little closer to Michael.
“Maybe the Chaos has nothing to do with keeping me alive, maybe I’ll just live for as long as you want me around.”
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2022 10:22 am
Michael snorted softly at the tease about taking so long to be born and Devyn being so old. He squeezed Devyn’s shoulder and tucked him closer against him, but he reached up with his free hand to gently brush the hair from Devyn’s face.
“Ah, yes, I do see a couple grays here,” he teased back, but pressed his forehead against Devyn’s hair. “I’m kidding. You have very nice hair. All black. All silky and smooth. But you would look very handsome with some gray streaks, too, I think.”
Then after a moment, “If that’s the case -- if you’ll live for as long as I want you around, then you’ll live forever.”
If Devyn being alive had nothing to do with Chaos, then… the answer was easy. Devyn would just never die because Michael wanted him around forever, if he could manage it. But after a few moments he hummed thoughtfully to himself and shook his head.
“Long enough so our starseeds are reborn together.”
Michael could only imagine how exhausting being alive for such a long time could be. He wouldn’t want Devyn to be stuck to that fate. But he also didn’t want him to ever have to be alone again.
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