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Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2022 6:21 pm
Basiluzzo did not run after Pendour. He knew better. He'd seen this behaviour before. It was familiar in a way he wished it wasn't but would never push away. Turning, hiding, pushing away had sometimes been followed by sobs, sometimes by stony silence. He was prepared for either one of them as he cautiously, carefully, gently approached Pendour's hiding spot. He knew she wasn't the same as the reason why he kept a small pill bottle in his subspace for when he patrolled with a certain someone. All the same. "Hey," ventured Basiluzzo, pausing just off to the side so that he didn't potentially get too close too quickly. Just close enough that he could pitch his voice to her without having to raise it and potentially draw attention to her. He didn't bother asking if she were alright, not when the answer was pretty clear. "Can I come over there?"
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Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2022 7:22 pm
Pendour wasn't hiding it, now. She was collapsed in front of a fallen pillar, resting her forehead on the cool marble. Her breath came in gasps, and she rubbed and rubbed and rubbed at her arms. It wasn't unusual to see her stimming, but there as something more desperate about this action, like if things got much worse she might start digging fingernails into her skin. She shot upright when she heard someone approach, and when she looked up her good eye was almost as blank and distant as the artificial one. Who she saw kept her from bolting, though. "Oh. Basi," she said, quietly. She managed a nod when he asked if he could come over. "Just, don't tell Encke," she managed. "I don't want to distract him. I'm- I'm overreacting."
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Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2022 4:56 am
His initial response was a gentle smile that he hoped was reassuring. "I promise." He didn't think she was overreacting, really. These things weren't really overreactions, right? At least, not like that. "It's alright. It's," something the trauma therapist had said to Ignacio since the beginning, and something Richard occasionally had to repeat, "your mind and body trying to protect you from something." Basiluzzo crouched down next to her, then sat after a moment of reflection on the fact that it felt like he was still looming. He folded his legs in front of him, resting his elbows on his thighs. His fingers played idly with the fabric of his pants as he ventured, "it happens sometimes." Hell, even Basiluzzo sometimes awoke gasping, feeling the residual memory of the pressure in his chest as his starseed was pulled, glittering, from his body. The events in the park since had also fed gleefully into his nightmares, and sometimes what woke him with a start wasn't very nearly dying for good, but the sight of people around him dying, warping, twisting. "Is it okay if I touch your shoulder again? Do you want to hold my hand?"
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Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2022 5:48 pm
This time, Pendour managed to vocalize a "Yes." She pulled her fingers away from her own skin and wrapped them around Basiluzzo's hand, rubbing her thumb along the top of his knuckles, in turn. "Touch helps," she said. It wasn't fixing everything, but at least his presence gave her something to focus on besides the circles that her thoughts were going in. It shouldn't have been a surprise that Encke's partner knew a little about how to work through things like this, but it wasn't something she'd thought to expect. She was grateful for it, all the same, even if she couldn't quite say that much yet. She went still for a few seconds, too still, before she added in a soft, strained voice, "It's a trigger. Um, the broken thing." One of her hands was still free, and with that one, she started to rub at the skin around her bad eye, then thought better of it and popped the prosthetic out so she could fidget with that instead. "The one who did this to me," she waved the eye at him, "He wanted me broken. Um, bent, or cowed, or something, I don't know his logic," she sniffled, "But I know he wanted he wanted me alive and suffering, broken, not dead. That was more amusing to him?" She shrugged as another weak breath escaped through her teeth. "It hasn't been this bad in a while, though. I think I got myself more worked up, maybe, trying to hold it all back so I didn't interrupt them." She squeezed his hand.
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Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2022 6:38 am
If touch helped, then Basiluzzo was more than willing to offer it. As she spoke, elaborated, he nodded thoughfully. "It makes sense," he murmured quietly into the space between her sentences, and he meant it. It did give him a start when she popped her eye out. He didn't say anything, but it did startle him briefly. He watched her fidget with it, letting his brain process what it was, what it meant, and what she was doing. Having the eye waved at him also startled him a bit, but he was able to keep it contained. It was just a prosthetic eye. He... just wasn't expecting it to be waved at him. Don't be weird, Richard."It happens." And he meant it, returning the squeeze to her hand. "And I know they don't hold anything against you for it."
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2022 7:18 pm
At the first sign that the prosthetic might be making him uncomfortable, Pendour curled it up inside of her fingers and then let it vanish into subspace. She couldn't do as much about the socket, since it was dusty enough up here that the eye was going to need cleaned before she put it back, but she brushed the hair over the scarred side of her face so it wasn't as obvious. Despite Basiluzzo's best efforts, of course she noticed the way he flinched. Of course it was a reminder that she was disgusting, of how deep her brokenness went. That thought brought another sob up from her chest as the muscles of her jaw and neck went stiff as stiff again. "Sorry," she muttered, and then struggled to get her breath back. It worked, a little. He was still there, and that helped more than he knew. "You're being nice about it," she said, with a thin smile. Now she trace circles on his hand with her thumb.
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Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2023 3:42 am
Had he known her thoughts, Basiluzzo would have leapt to reassure her. As it was, he murmured wordlessly and shook his head at her apology. "Nah, this isn't my first rodeo." A small, warm smile. "I promise. And it's not Encke's, either." Encke had never had a prosthetic anything, but it had been a very long time that Ignacio lived in the Bell house before he actually held a full conversation with Richard, before anything like their relationship had formed. Before Ignacio had been able to even so much as kiss Richard without visions of teeth ripping into flesh and tearing it away-- He let her trace the circles. "Is there anything else I can do?" stari_maga I know this one's been hanging out a bit, if you wanna move it toward a close!
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Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2023 1:32 pm
Pendour nodded, about Encke. "I know," she told him, still holding his hand, still tracing those circles, still keeping her eye tilted as far away from him as she could. "We've talked about trauma, sometimes. It's, just, um," she looked off towards the distance, towards where Encke would be with the small robot that was the closest thing he'd have to a survivor of his world, "Not a good time for it to come up." Not that it ever was. "Will you sit with me for a while?" she asked. That would help the most, she knew. "We don't have to, um, talk."
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Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2023 11:32 pm
'Not a good time for it to come up.'Yeah, that was fair. Trauma was not an easy topic to broach in the best of circumstances. He offered a sympathetic nod. "This war's inflicted a lot of trauma on a lot of people, I think." And he doubted Encke and Pendour were the only examples of that. The smell of smoke still set Basiluzzo's heart racing, sometimes, remembering how it felt for his heart to slow, slow, to stop--Anyway.He was, however, happy to just be nearby if that was helpful to her. Basiluzzo fell quiet and closed his eyes, settling in a lean towards her that didn't put any weigh on her but did invite her to lean on him if she wanted. A moment of peace. stari_maga sdlfj sorry for the wait I forgot to mark in my tracker that I'd been tagged--fin!
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