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Usually if Naeria was in a situation where she had to knock on someone's door, she would hesitate. Sometimes, she'd tiptoe around outside for minutes on end, trying to work up the courage to draw someone away from whatever important work they should be doing. Sometimes, the courage would not come, and she'd sneak away back to her own space.

This was different.

This was an emergency.

It had been easy to ignore some of the implications of what had just happened when she'd been bonding with Portabella, or chatting with Gabby, but on the way home, there had been nothing to think about other than the fact that she now had legal ownership over a living being.

It made her insides feel numb and empty, and thinking of the reactions some of the others might had made those feelings worse.

She knew she couldn't keep it a secret though. At least, she couldn't keep it a secret from everyone. She needed to talk to someone who might understand.

"Andreyia," she said, knocking on his door. It wasn't exactly pounding, but it was still louder than she'd ever knocked on a door before. "Please."

Was she okay?

That wasn't something she'd considered on the way over here. She considered it now. Her pulse was raised. She could tell by the way she could feel her heart pounding behind her ribs. Her breath was shallow.

No. She was getting distracted.

"I am safe," she said, "But, anxious. Something happened that I need to tell you about."

The words were not sticking in her throat at this moment, but she still kept her voice down, and she looked over her shoulders, half-expecting someone like Vyn, or worse, the Commodore, to show up at the end of the hall.

She saw how quickly he closed his door, and she hardly wanted to intrude, so she asked, "Will you come to my room?"

Naeria's room was not minimalist in the proper Velencyan style, either, but she hadn't gone to much effort to hide her decorating. She'd found several websites that had promised that promised to make you feel more at home in your house if you bought their products, and when she'd been reeling after the battle and feeling stranded on a hostile world, she'd been willing to try just about anything with that promise.

There was a tapestry on one wall and at least seven candles, all with natural scents that reminded her of her favorite things about Earth, scents like Autumn Forest and After the Rain. The mushroom knicknacks were by far the most numerous. There were lamps, and hanging paper lanterns, and little figurines made out of clay. The real mushrooms were hiding out of direct light, in boxes in her closet and under her bed.

Naeria wasn't focused on any of that. She collapsed on her bed and curled up so that her chin was on her knees.

"I do not know if I am in trouble," she said, "But, maybe."

The words started to catch in her throat again and she had to swallow past that. "Remember how I said I was riding horses with that human? I went back a few times, to see if I can learn from her, and," Naeria flushed, and swallowed again, and said. "She has given me a horse."

She trusted Andreiya with the information, but it was still too much to look at him while she said it. Naeria buried her face in her knees, breathing faster. "She has exchanged currency for this living animal, and now, I believe by the human customs, I own her."

"Not roommates," Naeria mumbled into her knees.

It was almost an amusing thought, to picture Portabella in here. She barely would have fit, even with her front hooves on the mattress and her back feet in the closet. Naeria might have giggled at the mental image if the situation wasn't so serious.

"It is possible we could become friends," she said. "I love her."

It was a strong word for a Velencyan, but Naeria did not hesitate.

Then, her voice became shaky, though. "But, it was not her choice to come to me. There is no terminology that gets around that. I have been thinking about that all the way home, and I do not know what to do."

She uncurled just enough to look over at Andreiya. "I could get rid of that title, owner, if I passed it to someone else, but Portabella would not have a choice in that, either. The only way to truly give her freedom would be to open the paddock doors, but there are so many cars out there, Andreiya, that do not watch where they are going. There are violent humans. There are wild animals. She could-"

The words finally failed her and she curled back into herself again, making small noises.

"I could be her protector," said Naeria, uncurling a little more than she had before. "I could be her teacher."

Yes, that sounded much better than owner. It sounded much more accurate than owner, no matter what might be written on the Earth documents. Andreyia was right that they had a strange way of looking at things, but Naeria had no wish to dominate or control Portabella.

Working alongside her to keep her safe, on the other hand, sounded wonderful. She could probably learn a lot about horse psychology in the process. She could probably write a paper about it for Lyndin.

On top of that, it would just be nice to find a riding trail somewhere by an asphalt road and to let Portabella watch the cars, and to whisper to her that they went too fast sometimes, and got dangerous.

"I like that idea, better than the others. I do not want to be called her owner, it makes my skin crawl, but that does not change the fact that I should stay with her."

The compliments helped. Andreyia's trust that she would only seek no nurture and protect a creature, not harm or control it in any way, helped to restore her trust in herself that she had not fallen too far into Earth's flawed system and turned into some kind of cruel horse master.

His admission, though, was what made her uncurl fully, the tension in her shoulders finally unwinding itself as she leaned towards him.

"Steve?" she asked. It was a very Earth name, but Naeria liked that about it. He was an Earth creature.

If she'd seen a hamster in one of her textbooks, she couldn't remember what it looked like now. It hadn't caught her attention as much as some of the other organisms. What she was picturing right now was a toad. They seemed quite small and quite helpless, and they were common enough of a sight when she was walking through the woods.

Caring for something like that seemed like a different challenge than caring for a horse. Naeria was immediately curious.

"He sounds wonderful. I am sure you will be a very good caretaker for him," she said, and then, because she could not resist the question, "Can I meet him sometime?"

Naeria nodded at every little detail he gave about his roommate. If Steve had a wiggly nose, and could roll around, and fit many treats in his mouth, then he sounded different from a toad but still quite interesting. Of course Naeria was curious.

She was never going to be curious to the point of being pushy, though.

"I understand discretion," she said. "About your friend. I do not think I will tell everyone, either. Um, about mine."

She could already imagine the look on Vyn's face. There were pursed lips. There was judgement. She could already imagine the look on Lyndin's. She didn't even want to think about that.

"But, I do not think you have to worry about decorations," she said with a small shrug. "They might not be Velencyan, but, I think a lot of us have turned to the nice parts of Earth to help us deal with-" she trailed off, trying to find her phrasing.

Homesickness, yes, but there was also grief, both about lost allies and about the state of Velencya. There was anxiety. There was pconflict.

"Everything," she said, and she turned to some small ceramic mushrooms on her bedside table, running a thumb across their smooth surface. "I read that these would make you happy, and it was true!"

Naeria basked under the appreciation for mushrooms. She always liked when others saw the potential in them, too, and to hear that he associated them with her made her feel almost proud.

"Yes, it does not have to be now," she told him. "I should probably get back to work anyway. I was going to collect some data tonight. Clean your papers."

She was trying a new soil formula for her mushrooms, so she needed to make sure that she was keeping perfect, detailed records of their growth. Even if she was branching out to research horses as well, or the relationship that humans had with animals, she could not forget her original, promising project.

"But tell Steve that I want to meet him," she said, "And when I talk to Portabella, and tell her about being careful, I will make sure she knows that she never has to be afraid of you."