The Lantern Festival (10) : Scientists have been hard at work trying to understand the strange, glowing qualities of the luminescent caterpillars found in the caves by the reservoir. The caterpillars still shrivel up if they are taken out of the caves but their glowing secretions have been processed into an organic paste that can withstand the outside world. The city is selling paper lanterns infused with various seeds. The glow paste is full of minerals to support healthy plant growth without risking damage to the environment; all lantern purchases come with a small packet of activating power that will heat the paste up enough to mimic the effects of a candle without the concerns of flammability. When the glow paste loses its heat, the lantern will return to the Earth and upon the first rain (or any contact with water) the paper will dissolve and the seeds may begin to grow. All proceeds from the lanterns are put right back into the community to support local conservation and environmental protection efforts.
With Pride Season finally starting to wind down, Reiki was hitting the point where he couldn’t deny anymore how exhausted he was. How overdue he was for his annual tradition of ******** off from real life for a little while. Usually, that would last about three days, give or take, depending on how he felt, what sort of balance he was lacking in his life, what entertainment he could find on Netflix, how restless and anxious about his well-being Cersei started getting, and whether or not his body decided to kick his a** by making him get genuinely sick with some kind of bug.
God, he really hoped that didn’t happen, this year. Reiki had doubts about whether he’d make it, though. Tonight’s show at Scandals hadn’t been anything more or less special than a normal show, and yet, Reiki had barely had it in him to get through two numbers that weren’t either wildly inventive or Whole-a** Productions (just one cute queen in an equally cute little outfit, flouncing around to Katy Perry and Little Mix, being a saucy minx while collecting her tips). Moreover, Reiki hadn’t stuck around until closing time, the way he liked to do; he’d cleared out as soon as he’d done a brief encore. At that, he’d only done the encore to help fill time while Margarita helped Julie safety-pin a busted zipper back together.
Reiki wasn’t really patrolling after powering up, either. Mostly, he’d done it because, A., it made getting home from the bar so much easier and faster, and B., it really was the best way that he’d found to take his makeup off (no more mess! no more fuss! no unnecessary waste from makeup wipes or struggles to get stains out of the washcloths! so sustainable!!). If a youma or some other malcontent decided to come for him, well……Reiki supposed that he’d need to do something about that, yeah?
But for right now, he was content to just……not. He was taking a slightly different route home than usual, passing through a park he hadn’t visited recently. All over, several lanterns from Star Festival still hung off of tree branches and various poles.… Reiki sighed. He hadn’t really given himself the chance to appreciate them before—he’d put so much energy into throwing them at the dead spots all over town—but the lanterns really were lovely.… Whoever from the Chamber of Commerce (or whatever) had come up with the idea for them had done a great job.
Seiana_ZI
Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2022 12:34 pm
In some ways, Reiki and Ignacio had similar aims.
Wanting to just not for an evening considering everything felt refreshing. He was no longer in the midst of a panic where Sadie had gone; his messages were receiving, and Viatrix apparently awoke her brother, but being on high alert for weeks still drained. And yet the high alert hadn't quite left. They hadn't yet resolved what was going on on Izanami and now it seemed to be spreading to Earth, of all things--thankfully not Encke, while checking on some Earth life he left there as an experiment yesterday, he also scoured the place for death. Destiny City was doing Destiny City holiday things according to the internet.
Oh, and filming was wrapping in a few days. Super.
Unfortunately, that meant he would definitely draw too much attention as Ignacio, and so, it was Encke who was making his way through the park instead of strolling as Ignacio and powering up once he felt the almost inevitable youma.
The lanterns were pretty, at least. He had brought the equipment to hang one up himself. Hopefully, he'd get to--
Ah. There was the chaos. DMC. Basic. Maybe it was Ariadne? He wondered how she was doing--
With a deep sigh and steeling himself for a potential fight, he walked toward it, taking a second to observe--seemed to just be walking, and he didn't see any mirrorwraiths, but he could never be too prepared--before offering a bright, if guarded, "Hey! Good night, right?"
Please be one of the DMC that seemed relatively harmless--
At the feeling of a White Moon aura popping up in the park, Reiki couldn’t help but shudder, and more so when he took a moment to feel out exactly how powerful it was.… Sure, two of the Eternals he’d met so far had been good to him—Ida had heard him out about the dead spot that he’d found with Fang, and Kerberos hadn’t yet told Reiki to stop coming by his bench to bother him—while two of the three White Moon senshi to attack him had been basics like himself (and Angelica had been a case of extenuating circumstances, while Reiki had, admittedly, given Daphne very good reason to think that)……but there was still the matter of Sailor Untitled Goose Game, who’d been a transcendent Eternal like Kerberos and Ida, but had come in swinging like Angelica and Daphne.
(Honestly, what was it about Reiki that inspired tiny, angry, hurting women who had more magical power than he did—or at least more reliable magical power than his own—to attack him? Was it just the Chaos aura and impeccable fashion sense? Or was it something like putting a yappy purse dog in a room full of mastiffs?)
All of which wasn’t fair of him to get twisted about, Reiki knew. While Goose Game’s extenuating circumstances hadn’t been quite as immediately obvious as Angelica’s broken heart, she had admitted enough to surmise that she was a traumatized teenager who’d been through Some ******** s**t and just……decided to protect herself, that night, by taking it out on Reiki. Or whatever. The fact that the aura was moving closer to him didn’t bode well—at the very least it meant that Reiki couldn’t hope that they would just……ignore each other and move on—but……maybe this didn’t need to go terribly.
Kerberos. Ida. Amsvartnir. About half of his encounter with Daphne. Fang, for the most part. Pendour. Ser Purple Rain—or rather, Shoqafa, since that was apparently his actual name. Angelica, Goose Game, and the other half of his encounter with Daphne not withstanding, Reiki had a better track record with White Moon agents and senshi than not.
So……deep breaths. Slow, deep breaths. Patience. No jumping to conclusions or flying off the handle over nothing. Reiki could handle this. He could get through this without it turning into A Whole Thing or ending in violence.
……Then again, if violence was going to look like the guy Reiki saw as he turned toward the approaching aura—tall and built, with his freckles, and his flippity hair, and the pretty pink transcendence tatts glowing on his cheeks and biceps—you could just call Reiki Usurper-Queen Cersei of House Lannister, First of Her Name, etc. etc., titles titles, because……oh, boy, he would choose that violence without a second thought.
“I, uh…” Reiki probably should not have said the slutty thing out loud. He should not have said the slutty thing out loud. If he didn’t want to pointlessly escalate things, then it surely would behoove him to not say the slutty thing—“Not to be untoward, but I hope your name is Sailor Golden Corral. Because you’re not a snack, you’re a whole damn buffet.”
……Not the best he could’ve done. And he’d said the slutty thing out loud. But—oh well. He’d learn to live with his own disappointments, he guessed.
Seiana_ZI
Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2022 1:54 pm
Alright, well, frozen and staying in place was a good start he supposed. Not inclined to immediate violence or threats against someone who was definitely too strong to take the threat in much more than stride. Good. He didn't really want to put anyone else in their place today, especially not with the Dark Mirror. While he knew all Chaos would need to be purged eventually, their goals made sense, they didn't treat Chaos the same, they didn't seem fond of the Negaverse overall, and he felt like in the scheme of things, they would hopefully be easier to convince to purify--
(It was already enough that he had to do the same to a lieutenant the other day. At least he got the starseed back...)
Alright, he turned around to face him. Besides the color and the bracers, honestly--Dark Mirror signifiers--the outfit was pretty cute actually. Not something he zoned in on too much, but with the dark mirror scanning over him for a moment he might as well assess the one he was facing.
Nervous, okay. Likely a non--
Oh. Flirty, too.
Encke's lips tipped upward with amusement moreso than anything else. Huh. It was like he had wandered onto Twitter to read some commentary about the characters he had played, or himself on rarer occasions. Thirsty fans were something he was familiar with. Sometimes, when the anxiety got too high, when he couldn't lean back on his friends easily he purposefully sought it out. Even if they were talking about the character he had been behind them--
"Oh, thank you! The people I've invited in would agree." Encke winked with a playful grin as he tried to ease the tension out of his shoulders. Still Chaos, but this felt more like talking to Ariadne or Geocronite than, say, Faustite. "I've put a lot of work into this!"
Miles away from the scrawny, traumatized thing that barely fed himself when he awoke -- even further from the monstrous thing that --
"It's Encke, actually," no harm sharing his name here--Ariadne and Remarque already had it. "You?"
……Okay, well. So far, so good. Encke (cute name, and apparently his) definitely seemed more like he was cut in the same mold as Kerberos and Ida, rather than the the mold of someone who would kick, yell, or throw magic at random strangers in the middle of the night for simply Existing While Dark Mirror (any individual extenuating circumstances, or valid reasons as in Daphne’s case, notwithstanding).… Even though calm did not and had never come naturally to him, Reiki was going to manifest serenity and inner peace.
……And also hug himself a bit, because serenity and inner peace were one thing, but being in the presence of someone whose experience and power were spelled out all over his aura and his tattoos still gave Reiki a distinctly unwanted dose of humility. A pretty undeniable reminder of just how new to all of this he was, how running around in his fuku practically every night was no replacement for the actual experience that people like Encke and Kerberos and Ida (or from his own side, Elsa and Acubens-oneesan) had, and how he was little better than Midoriya Izuku, bumbling around and just dreaming of getting to have cool anime superhero magic someday. Or even just a chance.
Being a loser like Deku did not make sense with Reiki’s fantasy. Unfortunately, denying the reality of his situation wasn’t going to help him any.
In the meantime, he could at least return Encke’s tentative smile with one of his own. And answer the question he’d posed without taking the long way around: “Murikabushi. Senshi of hunger, if that’s, I don’t know, if any particular interest?”
……Maybe continuing to be nice really would work wonders for not getting Reiki hit, kicked, or otherwise attacked. To that end, while reaching into his subspace for his own metal water bottle, he took out one of the (still sealed and chilled) plastic ones he’d brought as spares. The heat really had been crazy lately, and who knew how long Encke had been out on his own patrol? Plus, the seal said that Reiki hadn’t messed with the water or anything, so it hopefully wouldn’t be taken as any kind of malicious gesture.
“I don’t suppose you’re the senshi of centerfold models, hmm? That’s probably not a thing, right?”
Seiana_ZI
Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2022 3:13 pm
Alright, like most dark mirrors he had dealt with so far, this one was proving he could be leveled with. Good. Added more points to the generally might be convincible thought...
Of course, then he was hugging himself. There was a small but distinct possibility that he was only on good behaviour because Encke was so powerful it was making him nervous and forcing him to stay neutral or even on friendly terms. Well. Either way, he would take what he could get. Made it easier to make this connection to progress to something where he could attempt to talk this guy into purifying.
Murikabushi of Hunger. Huh. That sphere could actually be terrifying. Much less pretty and innocuous-seeming as Ariadne's Mourningbrides. "That's a pretty intense one."
An offer of water?
Well, he was more literally thirsty than the real-life Twitter fanboy.
Encke stepped close enough--but only just--to take the water. Before actually opening it, he did check to make sure the seal was secure and also for any pinholes in the lid before he opened it up and took a sip. One that he might have snorted a bit of in his amusement.
He had done a centerfold before, but-- "If it is, I'm not them, though I am of something similarly hot." Was this okay, too? Well, if they seemed generally unfriendly with the Negaverse--and Ariadne knew anyway-- "Plasma."
He supposed he was one to talk when it came to intense spheres.
"I assume you're newer to this? Thanks for the water, by the way."
Reiki shrugged as if the offering of water was no big deal, because as far as he was concerned, it shouldn’t have been. Maybe he was new to this, and maybe getting recruited onto the team with the best fashion sense had also meant once again getting to be a universe-designated villain—but god, that wasn’t any reason to act like a heartless wretch. Letting other senshi get dehydrated in weather like this just sounded rude, even if it was probably what Negaverse senshi like Valjean and Sailor Hugetits of Whocares would’ve done. (Not Negaverse senshi like Toráin, though. Never him. He wasn’t like that.)
Honestly, if Valjean and Sailor Breasts Boobily would’ve left other senshi to die of dehydration, then that was an incredibly compelling reason to not do that thing.
What Encke had to say about Reiki’s sphere, though…… That made it considerably more difficult to keep the smile in place, never mind keeping his posture good like he had anything to be proud of. Which he didn’t, and he knew that much. Really, if it wasn’t enough that Reiki was stupid and boy-crazy enough to just trust without question that “you can become a magical boy” always meant getting to help people, make the world a better place, and be a defender of good things like love and justice, or like liberté, egalité, and fraternité—then surely, Reiki’s powers more than spoke for themselves. What else but a villain was someone with his magic supposed to be?
“Not so new that I haven’t learned how right you are—about my powers being intense, I mean.” Tucking his long fringe back behind his ears, Reiki looked away. He couldn’t just assume that Encke knew either Fang or Kerberos (or, for that matter, Sailor Breasts Boobily of the Negaverse). So, he couldn’t assume that Encke would really appreciate what those stories meant, beyond vague agreement that it all sounded bad. (No doubt terribly bad. Probably irredeemably bad, no matter how much Fang forgave him or how much Kerberos insisted that it wasn’t Reiki’s fault.) “Let’s just say it’s not exactly limited to making people cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.”
Nowhere near as harmless, either. Because……this was who Reiki really was, apparently. Every magical girl story needed a good, old-fashioned villain, didn’t it? Well, here he was, tailor-made for the job, with innate camp panache, powers that would never belong anywhere near any team that got to claim people like Ida and Kerberos, a long list of stage credits that more than amply supported the universe’s choice to cast him how it had, and enough starry-eyed idealism to ask nothing while being recruited because he’d implicitly trusted the boy he liked and he’d wanted so badly to be a magical girl.… Or what he’d thought magical girls were supposed to be, anyway.
Trying to just……push all that bullshit aside—back under the emotional bed where it belonged, because it wasn’t Encke’s problem and he didn’t deserve having it shoved on him—Reiki threw himself into a long drink of his water. Had to stay hydrated in weather like this, right? Definitely just……Reiki doing that. Nothing else at all. Because why would it be?
Seiana_ZIx
Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2022 6:49 pm
Something changed about Murikabushi's stance when Encke pointed out the intensity of the sphere, and that gave Encke a hint of the truth of it before the other even opened his mouth to agree.
He lowered the water bottle from his mouth and recapped it as Murikabushi said he was new, but not so new. Old enough to know the truth of what Encke had said -- and as someone of a similarly intense sphere, he sympathized. "Wouldn't that be easy, right? If magic made things more like commercials or comedy movies." But hunger meant a lot of things. The whining for a bit of sweets was the highest layer of it.
He did know what it meant to have a much deeper hunger, though.
"I'm sorry that your first exposures to your own magic have been alarming to you." Was sympathy the right response here? Of course. Murikabushi didn't seem to be a threat to him or maybe anyone on Order. That was the first step toward being comfortable and willing to leave Chaos--or at least becoming a reliable informant ala Kosmochlor, he supposed. Or one that was willing to talk instead of fight anyway...
Get to the point, Encke, before he drowned himself in water--
"Some of us have sweeter powers. Heals, buffs, what have you. Not the case for me either. I've occasionally been on the receiving end of it myself," finally was able to control it well enough that it didn't hurt him or his friends, "and I shock people. Make them feel like their whole body is burning up. Plasma is intense, too."
And some people even deserved it. (Looking at you, Faustite.)
But especially since until helping Kerberos he had assumed the risk of damaging everyone when he did it-- he felt how few people did. Did it stop him? Sometimes. He had the physicality. But some things had been more important, like saving lives. But...
“I mean, considering how much energy it takes most elements to get into a plasma state, that’s not too surprising,” Reiki guessed, before briefly looking up all the lanterns again. So pretty, so colorful, so utterly devoid of responsibility to themselves or other sapient beings. (Not that the lanterns themselves were sapient, but like everything in the world, they had spirits in them that could get there in time, or they could just be possessed by a vengeful ghost.)
Either way, all the lanterns had to do in life was look nice and make people smile. They probably didn’t even appreciate how lucky they were to have things so easy. Skinny little bitches.
Bitches who didn’t have to decide between staying quiet like they’d planned, or honoring the effort that Encke was putting into the conversation by giving back as good as he was getting.… Not that it was a difficult choice, in theory. You couldn’t just listen to someone make themselves vulnerable in talking about their powers’ unpleasantness like this and not respect that, especially not when they seemed like they wanted to help you—or anyway, Reiki couldn’t.… Well, he could have, but he wouldn’t have felt good about it. Would’ve been all too easy to picture Obaasan giving him the Look she always gave when handing him advice like, “I don’t understand why you’re making it so complicated for yourself, Kiya. If you can flirt with a man on Grindr, you can tell this Levi boy how you feel about him. It’s that simple.”
(Contrary to what Obaasan thought, it was not that simple with Levi. It could not possibly be that simple with Levi. Because of reasons, obviously. Reasons that would no doubt be unassailable in their truth and accuracy, just as soon as Reiki decided what they were!)
Actually spitting something out, though……that was harder. So, maybe Reiki had to do what he did in group sometimes and just start talking: “‘Alarming’ is…sort of a good word, but also not the one I’d use? Like, at first, I just couldn’t get my powers to work reliably, which is real fun to have happen when you’re staring up at some youma who looks like a giant woman made out of blue glass, who wants to kill you to assert her dominance.” He huffed. “Good thing youma aren’t resistant to being beaten with bricks, glass bottles, and trashcan lids or I’d be done.
“Then, I run into one of your team’s people. Another Transcendent Eternal, but his outfit’s, like, way sluttier than yours—which, for the record, I say without judgment. Value-neutral sluttiness.” Idly, Reiki ran his thumbs up and down the side of his water bottle. “So, Kerberos swoops in on me, and we talk. He’s confused about how I tried to attack him when he startled me and nothing happened, because I guess magic isn’t supposed to misbehave like that? Or at least it doesn’t if the talking cats got to you at an actual appropriate age, I guess. And Kerberos tries to help me, and I do get the attack off……and he abruptly runs away.
“Which puts me in my feelings for a while, because to me? It looked like I didn’t even do anything.” Reiki paused to sigh and silently tell himself to just……get through it. He’d come off looking worse than this story made him look while telling different stories to group before. It was going to be fine……probably. “But a little while after that, I’m investigating something with another one from your team—his name’s Fang, he’s from space, he’s sort of a cute wolf-boy senshi?—and get startled by something else……and my attack hits him, which……yikes? Would be a good word? Because…I guess Chaos went to Fang’s planet? And really messed things up? And getting hit with insatiable hunger, for him, triggered memories of childhood trauma, so like……yay? Awesome? I sure can do that?
“And a little after that, I go talk to Kerberos, and……yeah, that ‘nothing’ I thought I did? Kicked him in a craving I don’t think I’m at liberty to disclose?” Reiki had probably done enough bad in that regard by telling it to Ida plain, because Kerberos had indicated that she was trustworthy. But he didn’t know if Encke and Kerberos knew each other from a hole in the wall, and someone else’s substance abuse history was sacrosanct. “And—he’s okay, now? He…took pains to make that clear. But……it’s complicated. Emotionally.… For me. Partly because…I don’t? Take it lightly? That God, or the universe, or some great unknowable eldritch magical girl, or whoever handed me powers that are capable of triggering people like that?
“And then it’s just…” Another sigh. A small shake of the head. Reiki definitely was not pouting (……well, maybe a little, but at least the mood of the pouting was ‘earnest’). “The friend who recruited me? All he really said was ‘You can be a magical boy,’ and like……yes? Yes, please? Honestly, sign me up because I’ve been watching magical girl anime since I was a kid. I used to play magical girls with my girl cousins in instead of playing Dragonball or Gundams or whatever with the boys. And what do magical girls do? They help people. That’s, like, bullet point number one about being a magical girl, most of the time.”
Frowning, Reiki looked down at his hands. He slipped one off his water bottle so he could curl and uncurl his fingers, like squeezing a stress-ball. “So, y’know……having powers that apparently only work by triggering people? That are capable of triggering people in ways that might cause unfathomable amounts of harm even after the battle is over, because not everyone can escape to literal outer space and get climbed on by bioluminescent bunnies? Does sort of feel like God, or karma, or the Invisible Pink Eldritch Magical Girl, or whoever is having a laugh riot. Like ‘Haha, serves the stupid little gay boy right for having his stupid dreams…’”
Which. Reiki honestly probably needed to stop talking about with Transcendent Eternal senshi from a different magical girl team. Blossom, Ida, Sailor Untitled Goose Game after a fashion, and now Encke had all wound up hearing some version of the ‘I know I’m a Chaos rat and apparently a universe-assigned villain, but I just wanted to be a magical girl, help people, and impress the boy I like’ story, and honestly, none of them deserved that. Not even Anser. It wasn’t like anyone could fix anything about this, except Reiki himself, namely by getting over himself and either playing his role or never powering up again, as long as he quit whining about it.
Besides, considering what Encke’s powers did, Reiki had been wrong to think that only beautiful people with nice powers got to be White Moon senshi, but even if Levi had been with Order, Reiki’s powers still might have come out totally bullshit. Unhelpful trash feelings like this deserved to be put inside a box, then that box would go inside another box, and then Reiki could fill the second box with rocks and drop it in a river. Best plan for everyone, really.
Seiana_ZI
Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2022 3:14 am
Murikabushi wasn't wrong, considering. Plasma was the highest state of matter in the sheer amount of energy it required, so far as they could tell in their current understanding of physics. The fourth fundamental state, and now there was condensate physics which under that paradigm made plasma an even higher state, maybe they'd someday consider it the twentieth -- but in the same measure that he loved his element, the way it had previously hurt people--friends definitely included and primary--brought him worry and pause and upset, and it was part of why he sympathized so heavily with Murikabushi's position right then.
He followed the dark mirror's gaze to the lanterns for a moment, briefly remembering why he was even out there that night.
For the moment, it didn't matter.
Admittedly, Encke didn't have extensive experience with senshi that were awoken in a window that was theoretically delayed. Viatrix had told him that she had awoken a couple, and also told him that if she had found him now, he would have been too late, so it was interesting to hear firsthand what had ultimately led to him discovering what his powers did. Encke let out a good-natured chuckle at the bricks, glass bottles, and trashcan lids, and outright grinned at value-neutral sluttiness--his husband would like this guy for multiple reasons--but something changed in his stance when Murikabushi said Kerberos.
He knew Kerberos.
if Kerberos trusted this guy even after being directly attacked--though it sounded like he had been encouraging it and trying to help--well, it just further backed up Encke's suspicions.
He was talking to a good guy who was legitimately just wearing the wrong uniform.
He let him talk without interruption, briefly uncapping his water to take another sip but making sure it was clear he was still looking at Murikabushi in the process. Fang sounded like Dagon. Her world had been messed up by chaos too, and knowing that there were even more of them was both comforting in the sense that maybe he could help her find people that would have that very direct experience, and twisted his heart because no one deserved that.
And for what it was worth, he believed that Kerberos did legitimately think it was okay, but he also sympathized with Murikabushi's position -- had never wanted to hurt Pendour, for one.
And he empathized with wanting to do good.
Senshi had saved him. A court had saved him. A princess had saved him. And besides his beloved comet, wanting to do good was one of the few things that had kept him powering up for a long time.
"It's hard. Thinking you have an opportunity to save the world and realizing things are infinitely more complicated than it seems on the surface. Even from here -- I have to decide when my powers are a called for response, and making those decisions doesn't get easier. I've definitely hurt people I didn't mean to hurt, or shouldn't have. It factors into why I am the way I am now. I act in defense." Primarily. There were exceptions. He wasn't sure he'd hold back with people like Faustite, at this point. "For what it's worth, I don't think anyone is trying to curse you, or make fun of you, or anything like that. I think spheres are net neutral. I've crossed paths with vicious people who have spheres that wouldn't hurt a fly, good people with spheres like ours-- and I meant ours. You sought Kerb," a sign they were familiar no doubt, "and apologized, and still feel bad even after he said it was okay. And you listened to Fang."
Stars, he had to figure out how to help this guy into something more suited for the heart inside.
One step at a time.
It had been months with Sedna. Likely the work of years with other people with Nectaris.
"We're often not told what this means at the onset. I definitely wasn't, or at least, not in any meaningful way I remember. I'm thankful the Mauvian I'm most familiar with now is very good about telling people what's in front of them. But even then--we're all sapient beings, at least," couldn't really say human, could he, "so we're all prone to mistakes or leaving things out. I'm sorry that this has all hit you in such a rough way."
Should he? Was this appropriate? Could this harm him--
Listening to Encke talk, Reiki wanted to feel calm. Comfortable. Significantly less negative about the future. For sure, so many things about Encke himself, never mind what he had to say and how he said it, put several of Reiki’s gay nerves at something more approximating ease. He wanted so badly to trust Encke, to believe everything he was saying about how Reiki’s powers didn’t need to be hopeless bullshit and how even terrible people could end up with harmless spheres of magic, which had to mean that the opposite was equally true: good people could end up with the sort of horrific spheres you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemies’ pets.
Yet—Reiki still felt the looming, mythical Shoe, hanging over his head like the Sword of Damocles, waiting for its turn to drop.… Worse, all the good he’d ever wished to do as a magical girl felt like it had exacerbated the curse he had to live with now……as if the universe was daring him to try and do good or help anybody with the powers he had, now. As if he’d signed up to bear this cross as some kind of punishment for wanting to go so far off-book, to be a magical hero when the universe had not only assigned him to the role of a villain but gone one step further, punishing Reiki’s hubris by putting him on the team he couldn’t just purify out of.
None of which Encke had said nor meant to convey. Here he was, actually saying the exact opposite of everything going on in Reiki’s head, and listening to him did sound nice. Almost impossibly nice, even. But—believing Encke for real felt like too big an ask, considering how he was stuck as a Dark Mirror senshi until he just stopped being anyone at all.
(Yes, Anser had told him otherwise, but she couldn’t have been right about it. Could not have been, pure and simple. Until Reiki heard with his own ears, from Levi himself, that you could purify out of the Dark Mirror Court and that Levi had continually elected to stay, Reiki wasn’t going to believe it. He refused. Maybe an actual former Dark Mirror could convince him that they were capable of purifying out, but even then, he’d still need to believe that Levi just……hadn’t known before. Because obviously, someone who worked as tirelessly as Levi did to help people would never stay with an energy-draining Chaos faction if he’d known that there were other options, right?
…………Right?)
And the direct question at the end of it all……left Reiki feeling totally uncertain. Which was, frankly, sort of absurd, since it was literally just whether or not he wanted a hug? But arguably his discomfort with the idea provided an answer.… On one hand, Encke really seemed trustworthy, and a hug in theory sounded so nice. But……something about the idea—the concept of being held, of Encke touching him gently, of having that kind of intimate contact when he, Reiki, was like this (like what, he couldn’t say, but certainly like something that made his stomach turn at the thought of people touching him)…… All of it just made Reiki feel cold.
Despite the smothering, oppressive heat that had every clinic and ER in town full to bursting with dehydrated people dealing with heat-stroke, Reiki had to choke down a shiver. Like he’d had liquid nitrogen dropped into his chest. Like he was hanging upside down in a cave on the ice moon of Hoth, waiting to be eaten. Like Mirrorspace. Even biting back the reaction, Reiki couldn’t entirely shake off the bone-deep, heart-wrenching, skin-crawl feeling of Something Wrong.
……Maybe he was getting sick. Mom, and Obaasan, and Sibyl, and Cherry had all warned him that he’d rank his immune system, working like he did. Might not have explained the Wrong feelings to anybody’s satisfaction? But definitely could have explained the chills.
Shaking his head, Reiki looked to Encke with a smile that he hoped was reassuring. Likely wan, almost certainly unsteady, but earnest and therefore, hopefully, not grounds for Reiki getting written off as some complete lost cause, just because he’d never be an Order senshi. “I, uh—thanks? For the offer? It—you’re sweet—you’ve been really sweet, this whole time, and—honestly, you weren’t obligated to listen to my problems or anything, so……it means a lot? That you did?” Pushing his bangs off his face and his fingers through his hair, Reiki sighed. “But I’m sort of not feeling so well all of a sudden? And—maybe some other time? If there’s another chance?”
Vaguely gesturing (more in the direction of Scandals than the direction of Reiki and Haruhi’s place), he added, “I also, uh. Dog? Should get back to? Her name is Cersei, and she’s usually fine on her own, but……”
God, even to his own ears, Reiki sounded suspicious. Or maybe pathetic. He wasn’t entirely sure which, but one of those two felt like the best guesses that he had right now.……
At least a lot of people named their pets after characters from A Song of Ice and Fire, so he didn’t think that would necessarily point back to him too clearly.…… Probably, most people would’ve preferred “Sansa,” “Arya,” or maybe “Lyanna” for a dog, given the dire-wolf of House Stark vs. the proud lion of Lannister, but, well. That was because most people just didn’t understand Cersei Lannister, or appreciate her like Reiki did.
Seiana_ZI
IT’S ME, HI, I’M THE TAG-FORGETTER, IT’S ME heart I’m so sorry to leave you hanging so long and then Encke didn’t even get a hug, but!! The offer of “some other time” is meant genuinely?? [big plead emoji goes here]
Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2022 7:02 am
The headshake was a better result than he could have expected, but definitely not the one he was hoping for. The guy clearly needed comfort, perhaps reassuring that he wasn't married to evil, that he could get out and find something else and that his powers hadn't doomed him, but it all came as a metered thing. None of the alignment changes he had been part of had ever been a quick thing. Providing comfort likely wouldn't be either, though it seemed that they weren't ending on the worst note.
Encke had done something, he was certain. And hopefully, it was enough to stick before the cloying influence of Chaos grew stronger. "That's alright," Encke let out a thin breath that he buried with another sip of water chased by the charismatic smile worthy of the flirtatious compliments Murikabushi had started with. "It's warm out here. If you need to get to someplace that isn't so warm so you feel a bit better..."
Also, get back to his dog.
It did sound like he was trying to worm himself out of the situation. Would there be another chance? Perhaps another chance after someone else had gotten to him? Perhaps after he had some more conversations with the others, like Kerberos and Fang?
Every single situation like this was a project, and he knew that. Knew from experience.
And even so, Murikabushi was painted in black, but he wasn't Negaverse. And he wasn't a bad person.
"Suppose I should go back to my lanterns. It's been good talking to you, Murikabushi." That smile remained. "Give Cersei a few extra pets for me, alright?" Did he know anyone with a dog named Cersei? None were really coming to mind-- "And feel better. Take care of yourself. You're a good person, alright?"
His smile softened to something a little less friendly and cheery and moreso comforting.
"Promise. Your powers aren't a curse."
amorremanet
you're fine!! honestly, look forward to them interacting again ~
