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Even after the mission briefing, Aliez still felt sick. He tried using his Source Stone to help with some of the illness he felt, but since it wasn’t really an injury, it didn’t seem to do much healing. He tried drinking some water, and he sat down for a while after all of his assigned tasks were complete, which was miserable because he usually liked helping out if there was anything else that needed to be done. The more that he helped to do, the less that the Commodore needed to be bothered with.

Not that he obsessed over the Commodore like others did. He admired him. He’d heard stories of everything the Commodore had accomplished when he was a child. The Commodore had been his biggest influence in studying to join the Vanguard. And it didn’t hurt that the Commodore was very-- Well. He was considered very attractive by many a Velencian. Aliez’s thoughts were not unique on that front.

Sure, he might go out of his way to make sure the Commodore had something to eat, or that he didn’t need anything else to help with his reports, or anything in general. But those conversations were usually short and professional (as expected) and Aliez was just proud to be part of the team that went to Earth in the first place.

Now if only he could get over whatever was making his chest feel tight and his lungs burn and his head spin.

He’d only just laid down in his sleeping pod when someone else entered the room. He didn’t say anything at first, assuming it was just Vyn, but once he realized it was not Vyn and in fact Commodore Lyndin, Aliez practically jumped out of the pod to stand at attention-- and quickly try to button back up his jacket that he’d undone, and-- ah, he’d taken off his boots too.

“S-sir,” he greeted awkwardly, not sure if he should continue struggling with trying to look presentable or if he should wait to hear what the Commodore had to say first. Maybe it was an emergency or -- Oh no, what if he did something wrong and he was going to be told he needed to stay out of the way from now on? What if the Commodore thought he was too weak to carry on the mission? A liability? He would probably just die.

"I-- I apologize for my appearance," he quickly tried to explain. "Had I known--"

When the Commodore raised his hands to try and ease him, Aliez just drew in a quick breath. And held it. Because that was the only way he could stop himself from talking. But the fact that the Commodore felt the need to check on him?

Oh no… did that mean he was becoming a burden to the rest of the Vanguard? He wasn’t as skilled with putting things together as the others, and although he did his best and followed his training, he was much better using Source Stones for healing injuries, and helping to put together medicine for those feeling ill, than he was with linking cables together and manual labor in general. Not that he’d determined the right diagnosis for his own problems.

“I think I might just be getting used to the atmosphere,” he quickly answered, because he didn’t want to not answer the Commodore, even though he wasn’t entirely sure if that was the problem. He did often get motion sickness during training, but he thought he kept that as secret as possible. But now that he thought about it, it probably wasn’t as secret as he thought.

“I swear-- it won’t interfere with the mission, sir. M-my assigned tasks are done but… if there are other areas that need an extra hand, I am more than happy to assist!” He might just be moving a little slower than usual because he really wasn't feeling too great -- unless the Commodore was around, then he would push himself as much as necessary.

He knew he should have been reassured by the Commodore’s explanation of his concern, but how could he possibly be one of their best medics if he couldn’t even make himself feel better? And as far as he was aware, he was the only one who was having these symptoms. Which was both good and bad. Good because no one else was experiencing it, and bad because he wasn’t sure of the best way to treat it.

Aliez swallowed nervously when he was told to sit down, but did so without hesitation, especially not when the Commodore was already guiding him back to the bed with a hand on his shoulder.

And now his face felt hot.

“I-- my chest is tight, and I feel dizzy, and it’s hard to breathe sometimes,” he explained, although he didn’t know what kind of illness could have caused it. Or why he felt overwhelming dread. Was it just nervousness? Was it really just motion sickness?

“I might have motion sickness,” he admitted, feeling a little stupid for it, but he didn’t want to lie. “The medicine I took just isn’t working yet. I’ll-- be okay.”

Aliez bit his lip. It wasn’t that he was afraid of the Commodore. He was afraid of disappointing him, though. He was afraid that it would become apparent that having him join the Vanguard was a mistake. He was afraid of letting his weaknesses show, because what if the Commodore decided to take him off the mission?

Those thoughts kept swirling in his head. And he couldn’t decide if the Commodore was telling him that he got sick before because he was trying to test him, or trying to reassure him.

“Thank you, sir,” he said and silently cursed himself for not being like Vyn, who would have surely agreed to the Commodore’s offer immediately. “You don't have to. I’m feeling a bit better. I’ll be okay, I promise,” he insisted, sitting up a little straighter.

But there was something on his mind, and after a moment he asked, “Once we’ve restored Velenia, will you go to live there…?” A pause, and a cringe. “Sorry, if that was too personal--”

He couldn’t quite hold back the wince when the Commodore called him out for thinking it was a test or some way to determine if he was capable of following through with the mission or not. Aliez hesitated for a long moment, weighing the Commodore’s words and the look he gave him, and the squeeze on his shoulder.

“Okay,” he conceded, if only because he didn’t know any other way to ease the dizziness and general discomfort he felt. “Thank you,” he said, quieter now as he shifted on the edge of the bed, and then laid down as the Commodore had suggested.

Ah, but now he didn’t know what to do with his hands. By his sides? Over his stomach? He ended up doing a combination of both -- one by his side and the other out of the way in case the Commodore needed to get closer.

Aliez listened carefully to everything the Commodore said, frowning sadly when he spoke of Velenia being ravaged by invaders, not sure if he knew how the Commodore and the King and everyone else who were alive back then managed to survive and escape -- or the horrors they faced and experienced in an attempt to get out.

“Maybe we really are meant to help Earth,” he observed quietly, thoughtfully. Both with King Caedus finally able to escape and get back to them, and with the piece of Archideus now so close to Earth with the energy they needed. But Aliez shook his head before it could seem like he was getting too invested coincidences.

“I am not afraid of living somewhere new, sir,” he said, because he wasn’t. But he frowned anyway. “I want to be able to stay by your side.” He said it before really thinking about it, and he could feel his ears and face warm. “A-as part of the Vanguard. If that is acceptable.” Because anything else would not be appropriate at all and he was not Vyn.

The gentle massage to his head behind his ears did help with the dizziness, but now all Aliez could think of is how the Commodore was taking care of him and how jealous Vyn would be if he ever found out. Oh, he absolutely could not tell Vyn. He would never let him hear the end of it for not taking full advantage of the Commodore’s visit.

He knew his face was flushed, both from embarrassment of needing help to feel better when he was a medic, himself, and also because he was not so secretly pleased by the compliments from the Commodore.

“I still have a lot to learn. I will do my best to understand how things work on Earth so I can better assist when needed,” he promised, because what good would he be if he only knew how to heal people while on Velencya? Earth was a strange place, and he knew that without even stepping outside of the dome. Everything he’d read of their severely outdated information made it obvious that they were going to need to learn many new things in order to be useful.

“I’m glad you accepted me. I won’t let you down, sir.” Even though he felt like he could easily fall asleep, even without the use of his Stone.

Aliez might have trained for as long as he could remember to join the Vanguard, but he still knew there was a lot he needed to learn. Even with the Commodore’s encouragement, he still knew he had a long road ahead of him, regardless of how long a life he had ahead of him.

If he didn’t learn things as quickly as possible, what would happen if he needed to know something but didn’t? What if he ended up not being useful, just because he neglected his studies?

“I will,” he promised, his eyes feeling heavy, but doing his best to keep them open. “Thank you, sir. For caring as much as you do for us.” Aliez knew he wasn’t unique to the Commodore’s concerns. He had been the only one who had visible symptoms of motion sickness.

He must have been more tired than he realized, because only moments after allowing himself to close his eyes that he drifted off, dreaming about Velencya orbiting a thriving planet that looked a lot like Earth, but instead it was one that they could call home.