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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2021 6:04 pm
There were moments where Nembus was tempted to just simply stop powering up at all, to live her life as Delilah, to book a plane ticket and travel in some random remote spot in the world where maybe the Negaverse would not think to trace her down. But then the logistics of that reminded her it would not be possible - that there were people who cared about her - there were people who cared about her as an asset to the Negaverse - the Negaverse was inescapable, worldwide, possessed things even such as hospitals and schools and - The thought was buried as she sat on top of a roof, her legs dangling off the side, flicking through the notes she had taken on one Albite, her supposed underling of the moment. Well. If there was one thing for sure, she and Faustite had been correct in their assessment that he was a terrible fit for Information - The sensation of an Order aura caused her back to straighten, and it straightened yet further when she realized it was an equivalent level. She felt her heart jump into her throat as a combination of thoughts hit her; was it someone here to kill her? Was it someone here to destroy her? Was it someone here to perhaps say hello? Was it Sedna? Phaethon? Kurma? No, it couldn't be Kurma, his aura hadn't felt like any others she had confronted before -- She quickly closed her tablet, tucked it into subspace, and braced herself for someone sweeping up to her in the most unwelcome way possible. She had learned her lesson about approaching randomly.
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Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2021 6:59 am
After everything that had happened recently, Cybele was expecting the worst. She was trying to be as careful as she cold without leaving others in the city to be ravaged by the darkness. She'd told others that she was out on patrol. Even if they weren't able to join her, they'd be ready in an emergency. Her senshi phone was just a thought away. Walking down the street after the heat of the day had finally broken, she was ready for someone to try to put another knife in her back. She was ready to see more tortured civilians used as bait to lure her in to a poorly planned trap. She was already tense, and she stiffened farther when she felt the dark aura in the distance. She still headed towards it, of course. That was why she came out. It was almost a surprise when no nightmare scenarios awaited her. There wasn't even any energy draining going on, just a senshi in black sitting on the edge of a roof. It was nobody she recognized. The tension did not fade as she glanced up, but she still gave a small nod. "Hello," she said, because she saw no immediate reason to say anything else.
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2021 5:48 pm
The aura grew closer just as she expected, and her back stiffened further as she waited for the inevitable blast of magic that was going to hit her. Or perhaps she would get lucky? Perhaps it was one of her friends, and no one was here to end her pitiful- Well. it was tense, but there was a greeting, not a blast of fire or ... something. Definitely a senshi in white, but none she knew. Meant she couldn't really relax. "Ah, hello," greeted Nembus in turn, voice shallower than it should have been. ... Great job of projecting any confidence. The senshi wasn't attacking her, but Nembus couldn't tell if that would last. Maybe she could convince her to leave her alone and let her go back to scrolling on her tablet. Maybe if the senshi left her alone, she would just dehenshin and run away. Actually, that might be the better idea- "I'm not draining anyone. Or," she swallowed, "seeding anyone. Promise."
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2021 5:58 am
Cybele gave the street and the nearby alleyways a second, considerably more thorough look over, but there were still no collapsed figures around to imply that the corrupt on the rooftop was telling anything other than the truth. "All right," she said. She did not relax. The muscles of her shoulders were still taut, and she had her weight distributed and knees slightly bent so that she could spring into action if it came to that, but for the moment she simply gave a small nod, instead. There was something about the flat tone of the senshi's voice, the emptiness, that made her hope it would not come to violence. She did not recognize the senshi, even in that distant, mostly forgotten way, but something about her still seemed familiar. "What brings you out, then?" she asked, eyes still narrow. "The Negaverse does more than gathering resources, I'm sure." Although this one did not seem quick to come after her, either. Perhaps she was into the gathering of information, like Sylvite?
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2021 11:57 am
The white-clad senshi in front of her seemed to believe her, but she also didn't relax. That was not exactly promising for Nembus' wishes to become one with the air and simply disappear. Unfortunate. Her shoulders slumped at the alright, but she didn't relax either. What she did look was resigned. She did her best to bury it once more, swallow it down, sit with her back a little straighter so she didn't look like such a mockery of a strong super senshi of the Negaverse. Hard to say if it worked. She did let out an airy chuckle at the senshi's words. "White Moon," she offered, glancing toward the unknown one speaking with her, "the Negaverse does plenty more than gather resources. We're everywhere. Just biding our time." It certainly wasn't an answer. She felt the boost of confidence she usually got from praising the work of the Negaverse, but there was a strong ring of dissonance she could never quite ignore. Praise be Metallia. Remember what Sedna said. Remember what Kurma promised. "That's what I'm doing. Biding my time." She had powered up to patrol. Felt wrong. Ended up sitting on the roof, hoping that maybe she'd come across someone who knew her aura.
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2021 2:59 pm
"Mmm." Not entirely convinced, Cybele settled herself into a door frame across the narrow street from where the other senshi was perched on a rooftop and crossed her arms loosely across her chest as she glanced upwards. "It's Cybele," she said, although she did not exactly mind being called White Moon. Some days, it was still a bit hard to believe, so the confirmation was nice. It was also likely a good sign that this woman did not know who she was. Cybele pressed her lips together for a thoughtful moment, as she watched the corrupt's continued hesitance, then decided to tell on herself anyway. "You know, when I was corrupted, the Negaverse wasn't much for idleness. I think I was being groomed for SpecOps, for taking out individual targets while Metallia waited for the time of the great conquest, or whatever it was going to be. Then, there's also always information to gather." She squinted. "Is that what you're after? Mine is already in the database a few times over." There was probably already a fresh entry if she knew anything about how Sylvite worked.
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2021 3:51 pm
Cybele. Sounded familiar. Nembus had been looking over the new entries to the Database when she had felt the press of Cybele's aura nearby, had been wincing a bit at what Albite had figured proper to submit - might have to make sure Faustite knew that was not her suggestion; they had both mutually agreed Albite was a poor fit for Information - and had come across another entry. Super Sailor Cybele. Also: traitor. Ah. Like her, taken away from their original side, probably losing all their memories in the process. Someone like Sedna. Someone like Amazone. Someone like her. Someone like Sedna, fully, in that she had made it back out of the Negaverse, that she had lost a level just like Sedna had. Probably the destiny awaiting her if she ever decided that the jump into the unknown was better than remaining where she had the occasional delusion of agency. Interesting that they would cross paths. A relief, too; perhaps she would sympathize and be less likely to attempt to take her out. "Negaverse isn't fond of idleness, no," she confessed, her body slumping once more. "Used to be Infil. So much of our duties are civilian-based that doing more nothing powered could occasionally be excusable. But Info now." Probably should have been Information the whole time. It was what had gotten her promoted by Marcasite in the first place; she had gathered so much information for her. Nembus paused, evaluated, and then continued, "But yes, you're in the database. The general who I presume corrupted you updated your entry." Kill her now. "I probably am, too. Name's Nembus." A heavy sigh. "Also conscripted."
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2021 6:04 pm
Conscripted. Now that was something. It made a twinge of emotion tug at Cybele’s chest; sadness this time, she was almost certain. The set of her jaw softened, just a bit. The other news was also less than ideal, if not surprising. “Sylvite probably wants my starseed on a silver platter, doesn’t she? She sent some Captain to set a trap for me last week. Thinks I’m the traitor even though she ambushed me in the middle of my own training event and dragged me unconscious to the first General-King who could make me into a puppet.” She did not hide the bitterness in her voice, but she was not overly aggressive either. She was still watching Nembus, and the longer she watched, the more she could see little tics that struck her as familiar. She scrolled through her Negaverse tablet the same way that Cybele had scrolled through her old social media, desperate for any hints to fill the void of her memories. Her gaze seemed distant, and sad. Perhaps Cybele was reading too much into that one, but still. “What did the Negaverse do to you?” She asked, tone much closer to gentle.
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2021 6:40 pm
What Cybele named sounded about right. Nembus let out a bitter chuckle, in part because she didn't even have the convenience of quite knowing she was taken away from a training event, in part because she could feel the same pain and suffering of being ripped away from something she had known. "Yeah. Says kill her now in your entry." Nembus offered a wry smile. "Wouldn't be surprised if you have a target on your back. Ah," she glanced to the side, "sorry about that. Negaverse tends to take no prisoners with repurifications, I've noticed." But yet, she was making no move to recapture or kill Cybele. Perhaps it was a good thing she didn't feel any general auras in the vicinity. What did the Negaverse do to you?It was a surprising question, and something that made the ball of fear in Nembus ease just a bit further. To ask something like that, Cybele must have been safe, assuredly. Was like Sedna. Wouldn't take it out on her for questioning her own existence. It felt nice to talk to someone who might understand. It had been so long. Perhaps it made her lips looser than they should have been. "Marcasite never gave me the fullest details," she admitted, finally turning her gaze back toward Cybele. "But enough. Used to be the leader of a White Moon group that was," she fidgeted, "harsher toward those of Chaos. Think I tried to kill her. Think she corrupted me as a lesson to them." Or perhaps as the ultimate revenge; making her serve Chaos instead of simply killing her. It was something that was still hard to reconcile with her views of Marcasite--Jade, her friend, her confidant, the one who had provided her housing, a job-- But none of it had ever been by choice, had it? And yet it all felt fine. "Lost all my memories except my name and my birthday. And now I'm here." Three years later? Four years later? It was hard to process time when it felt like so much of it was missing and when she felt like she was still so horribly young and yet so terribly old.
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Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2021 9:31 am
Cybele shrugged. "I'd rather be a corpse than a prisoner." Almost more concerning than Sylvite were the ones that had hinted they wouldn't mind seeing her back, even with a black basic's uniform and an even more broken starseed. Nembus did not seem to fall into either of those concerning categories, however. She was more willing to talk about the things that the Negaverse had taken from her than to follow the instructions of the database. The details of her story might not be familiar to Cybele, who had never heard of a specific team trying to go against the Negaverse, or even of someone named Marcasite. Still, the concept and the outcome were all too familiar. Defy the Negaverse a bit too hard, wake up empty and transformed. It was just like looking at herself from a few months ago. "You remember your birthday?" she asked, tone softening farther into something almost conversational. "I don't think I would have known mine if I hadn't had my ID on me." She uncrossed her arms and took half a step forwards. "How are you holding up? Are you happy, serving the Negaverse after all that?" Although she was slightly closer, her posture was much more relaxed, no longer prepared to spring forwards at a moment's notice. "It took me a while to realize it, since I didn't have much of a baseline, but when I was in the Negaverse, I was miserable."
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2021 12:04 pm
What Cybele said seemed to become a common theme. Sedna had hinted much the same, what with the way she walked around with an ax and warned that she'd have to do what she'd have to do if they had ever found themselves opposing. Perhaps that was where she had gone. If that was the case, at least she had gone on her own terms. ... Still a hard pill to swallow. But she swallowed it, regardless, just like so much else, as she listened to the way Cybele's tone seemed to shift. Seemed more like a conversational angle than the defensive one she had chosen before. Okay. So she did understand. She was like Sedna. The tension eased out of her bones with the concept of someone else who understood the gaping maw of a past, with someone else who understood the confusing murk of a future, with someone who found themselves in the center of an impossible decision with so little context other than what they had been able to gather from -- "Yeah. April 13th," she replied, glancing down at her feet for a moment. "Nineteen ninety-eight. Hard to believe when it feels like I was born," she sighed, "three years ago?" Had it really only been three years? How the hell was she supposed to know? Nembus watched Cybele walk closer, making no moves herself in case the senshi in front of her might change her mind and interpret her as a threat. The question stunned her enough that she glanced up to Cybele and blinked. Felt like a question Faustite might have asked her, but different. Faustite wanted to know how she was treating the human part of herself, if she felt like a person. Cybele wanted to know if she was happy. Her hands clenched. "Happy?" What was happy? Sometimes she thought she felt the fleeting bits of it. When she was laughing at a ritzy restaurant with Waru. When she had met someone who finally understood. When she had gone to that buffet on her twenty-first birthday with Omorose. When she and Jade had escaped the convention and gone to a hole in the wall restaurant together -- Always dependent on others. She served the Negaverse because her mind told her she had to. It was all she knew. She sometimes found joy in it, she supposed; the fascination when she had seen the small snowflakes in front of her, the patrols with Stillwaterite, the pride of being told she had done something right- "No." Nembus finally responded, her voice tight. "Sometimes. Not for the Negaverse." Conscripted was definitely the right word. Few were happy being conscripted. "I feel lost. Pieced together an identity based on books and words and what other people tell me to do and things I've stolen or bought-- But I don't know anything else. This is it. And sometimes it feels okay." It had been so long since she had talked to another with missing memories who seemed to understand that she felt like a waterfall being held back by a miserable dam. "Or Chaos tells me it's okay. Another one like us told me --" the phrase had burned into her mind, " I'm telling you about Chaos' influence on your thoughts and actions because it gets worse and more controlling as you advance in rank."
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Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2021 2:50 pm
There was a phrase burned into Cybele's mind, as well. It wasn't something quite as deep Nembus's friend's musings on Chaos, but it was something that she'd thought about often, back when she'd been corrupted, and she'd come back to it, afterwards. It was something Alya had said to her. She'd been threatening to kill him, and what he'd asked was, ' Are you okay?' That moment was all she could think of now, as she sank down to sit on the curb, lips pressed together. Nembus was doing better than she'd been, in some ways. She was at least a bit more self-aware about her own unhappiness. Cybele's heart broke in her chest, anyway, and it took all her acting instincts to keep her face blank. "I can't say much about Chaos getting worse," she said with a small shrug. "I was already an Eternal when I was corrupted, but I can tell you that it was intense. I was numb, for months. I worked a lot on the resources, the starseeds, and I didn't feel anything, watching people die. I didn't feel anything talking to other agents who were supposed to be my friends, either." Her voice was flat just at the memory of it. She'd started feeling things when Order had begun to show her kindness, and that was all. "To be fair, not feeling the happiness might have had something to do with the fact that I was kept as a glorified slave and not been entirely Chaos, but it all went hand in hand. When I purified, it was like a weight had been lifted." She tilted her head. "Have you ever considered it? Leaving? It doesn't completely fix the feeling broken, but it helps, and it gets the Generals off your back much better than trying to hide in Infiltration does."
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2021 6:56 pm
It felt like another warning, in a way, when Cybele said it. Sedna had warned her that the influence of Chaos only grew stronger, only grew worse, would only enthrall her more as she sank deeper into it. Cybele implied that the influence was intense as an Eternal. When she thought of every little piece of her memories that she could, she could feel the signs of it. Feel how much less she cared about draining energy now. Felt her disinclination toward dealing with starseeds fading. Felt herself swearing to Metallia moreso than anything else she had ever heard to swear to. "Can understand the numbness," she offered, even though her feelings on it took another angle. Perhaps there was some numbness now on her inability to recover full personhood. However, most of her feelings were mixed up in wanting to feel, wanting to be, wanting to understand humanity, wanting to either be a person or stop being a person, stretching out toward whatever she could recover into a life when all there was before age twenty was a gaping hole she wasn't sure what to do with. She could understand being kept as a glorified slave, too. It hadn't felt like that with Jade, not at first. It felt like Jade had forced her and then realized that who Delilah was might have been someone Jade wished to be friends with. For a time, Delilah might have even believed that they were best friends. But as Sedna said, the one who was closest to them was likely the one they needed to watch out for-- Leaving. She blinked, her eyes widening. To say she hadn't thought of it, ever, would be a farce. Sedna had suggested it was her choice, but she would be there for her when she did. Kurma had suggested that all she needed to do was accept her planet, come back home to her planet, her planet that was waiting for her on the other side, something that was hers and missed her. She could tell that whenever she met up with Phaethon, his, their, her heart broke just a little bit every time Nembus fled instead of giving it all up. The concept of it getting the generals off her back made her emit a delayed chuckle, the mention of Infiltration bringing a brief smile to her face. "Suppose it was inevitable they were going to realize I was useless and move me." Not an answer. That took a few more moments. "Yeah, thought about it. Leaving. Know someone else who did," even if she was now unable to find her, "the one I mentioned before, who told me that Chaos' influence worsens. It's hard, though. This is all I know. I don't want to obey orders until the day I die or some general or youma decides to consume my starseed, but then I do and it feels fine. I know people. They aren't all bad. Some just seem deluded." Albite, that himbo, needed a rescue. She was fairly sure Faustite needed a therapist just as badly as she did. So it went. "Sometimes seems easier just to keep going through the motions." Going through whatever motions were decided or predestined for her.
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Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2021 7:10 am
Cybele raised an eyebrow. "It doesn't sound like the Negaverse is being very nice to you if they think that taking time for yourself counts as being useless." Then again, by this point in the conversation it was most likely extremely obvious what Cybele thought of the Negaverse. Even if Nembus had said that they'd been treating her like a princess, Cybele would have been suspicious, but no. They were treating her like a tool and nothing more, the same way they treated everyone they snatched up. Every small kindness that the Negaverse could be bothered to offer came with the price of being useful in some way. Cybele knew that all too well. She also knew that there had been a time when she'd been so desperate and empty that she'd eaten up those dregs of kindness, regardless of what the price for them was. "It doesn't, by the way," she said. because she would have needed to hear that. "You've got value outside of whatever they're asking of you." She was still hesitant to leave, though, and Cybele understood that, as well, for all that she didn't like it. Nembus was in deeper than Cybele had been, in a way. She'd been in the Negaverse for three years, she'd said, which was a longer period of time than Cybele could really wrap her head around, with her memories as scattered as they were. It was all she'd known, the path of least resistance, and she didn't have old friends to call her home the way Cybele had. New friends would have to do it, then. "I think you should leave if you're unhappy with the Negaverse and worried about the influence of Chaos," she said with a small, unapologetic shrug. "I know it can feel like a lot to start over again when you already have so little, but it's a lot different than corrupting and having everything ripped away. I promise." Her smile was soft. Most of the tension was gone, now. "There's a lot of people who have purified. I've only been out for a few months, and I've already met a few of them. We sort of connect over it, make sure to have each other's backs. We'd have yours, too." She was still smiling, but there was a sharp determination deep in Cybele's eyes. "I'd have yours." Even seeing Nembus in black, technically still an enemy, Cybele could already feel the protective instincts welling up. "If you think that the Negaverse is the path of least resistance because they're helping you with housing or something," she said, "Order has resources too." Not that she was about to go into too much detail on that in front of a self proclaimed Information officer, regardless of the rest of the situation, but she didn't mind saying that much.
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2021 8:41 pm
Time for herself. Didn't know if that was a fair title for her distance or simply being useless to the cause of Metallia. She did get the communications degree she had been registered for in the interim. Didn't know what she was supposed to do with it. Had no real desire to do with it. Wasn't sure how much she desired for anything other than solidity and normality she couldn't possibly know the definition of. "Do I?" asked Nembus, uncertain. "Because it's hard to see what value I could even have as a husk." Other than another starseed, perhaps. Perhaps that was all of their destinies. Perhaps they would give themselves to Metallia's mission to cleanse the Earth of its invaders until Metallia determined they were no longer worthy and either consumed their starseeds herself or had one of her newest followers do so. It was a grim thought. It was her reality. She buried it. She wasn't sure what use she would have to Order, either, lost and clueless as she was. Nembus wasn't surprised by the encouragement; was familiar with it, even. It hadn't been the first time she had at least been encouraged to consider it. Sedna had always said it would be her choice, ultimately, but told her of the advantages. Cybele was outright suggesting to leave. Kurma had, too. Just accept her star again. It was that easy. Her thoughts were spinning like a top until she said I'd have yours, and Nembus looked up with a mixture of uncertainty, genuine surprise, and the faintest edge of nausea she wasn't sure she could name. Order had resources, too. Made sense that it did, especially if so many were purifying as Cybele had said, but it still was hard to mentally compare what they had to what she knew the Negaverse had. The Negaverse was the path of least resistance. It was what she knew. It was all she knew. It fulfilled her basic needs to some base level, provided her with some occasional joys, and gave context to a life she was fully unfamiliar with. Path of least resistance -- another phrase of Sedna's bubbled to her mind. Please don't let it be because it's the path of least resistanceIt hurt. It burned. She felt the pinch in her eyes like she had when she had spoken to Kurma. But the concept of others having her back -- of Cybele having her back -- was what stuck her. "Would I really?" Nembus choked. "Because she said the same thing, and --" And Nembus hadn't heard from her for longer than she could understand. But you're not starting from scratch, Nembus. You have me.
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