He had lost his father at a young age, been subjected to torture, watched his home burn down by his own hand and had nearly lost the one he loved to bandits….had Kian embraced fear in any of those moments then he would have surely broken down. The very thought had the hybrid’s lips twist in distaste as he gazed across at the crackling fire that was warming the manor library from a large fireplace. For some reason the wine had made him thoughtful tonight and while the rest of the family slept the mystic was reflecting upon the past. His niece and nephew had been bantering about their fears and his own son had refuted having anything major to fear. The very thought made him chuckle as he reflected upon recent events and the sheer terror he had seen on Azreal’s face. Of course at the time Kian had been desperately worried as well but now that things were resolved it was fun to somewhat tease the teen about his developing feelings. After all he had gone through the same thing himself with Azreal’s own mother! Of course Kian was a bit more dangerous about how he approached things while Azreal just bristled more before running away from what was changing between him and his childhood friend.

“Very similar to me indeed.” Kian’s eyes fluttered closed almost thoughtfully as he sat on the realization. Truly, truly his son was like him and more than likely Kian could have imagined turning out like that had the traumas of the past and Rhonann not changed him so much along the way to who he was today. A stubborn, arrogant but kind hearted man with a knack for studying and some charisma. Kian reached a hand towards the fire and allowed the flames to jump towards his fingers, seemingly dancing along his skin. At one point he had allowed his quest for power, his determination to never be controlled by anyone again to lead him but all of that had been out of his own deeply rooted fear. Fear of losing control that had transitioned into a fear of not being able to protect others whenever his cold heart had finally started to thaw from its frozen lump with the spring years of his young adult life. It had been silly of him to believe that he wanted to protect others but in reality it was still his quest for power pushing him forward. Kian pulled his hands back from the fire and leaned forward so that his elbows rested on his knees while he held his head in his hands. “Idiot.” He breathed in disdain as he thought of his young, foolish self. How much had changed since those days...how much indeed.

Thankfully for Rhonann and Talisia (even Eresin too!) he had eventually learned to embrace his fear and to trust others again. He could work with them and together they could resolve anything that came their way as a team. Supporting others while allowing them to support him as well had truly eased some of the chains wrapped around his heart and Kian was learning, especially now with children, that everything went a lot smoothly when working within a team. “That’s something I don’t think I would have ever admitted before.” If only he had though so that he could have saved his mentor’s life, something that he would always regret even if Eresin said he did not hold it against him. The very thought twisted his heart and Kian slowly raised his head from his hands so that he could stare at the fire once more. His thirst for power had taken so many lives but Nero’s death was the one that truly shattered his heart and nearly made him revert. What a fearful fool he had been. Kian reached for the bottle of wine (who needed a glass at this point?) and took another deep sip of the crimson liquid, the sweet and bitter taste lingering in his mouth so that he could truly enjoy the flavor before he finally swallowed. It was probably best that most of the family was already asleep before he grabbed a few bottles, something that he would have to remember to hide away in the morning before Talisia or anyone else let him have it. His twin had already been on top of him for almost burning their manor down while teaching Azreal more about magic so spirits forbid she catch him having one of his rougher nights with alcohol. He supposed he should finish up then so that he could clean the mess and finally retreat to bed. If anything his resolved fears just left him with one final fear….the anger of his wife and sister should he misbehave. The very thought made Kian chuckle once more before he finally stood up from his seat in front of the fireplace.

[822]