Trees stretch in every direction, tall and dark and full of unfriendly shadows. Nothing about the area seems safe, and there is a darkness in the forest. If you travel into the forest, you will find that no matter what path you take, the village is always within sight behind you. Any direction, any distance, any time you spend--the village will always be within sight. There is no barrier to stop you, just a strange, infinitely looping forest. Within the forest you find no recognizable trees or landmarks.
Cleaning had become an impossibly difficult and relatively uncomfortable task. Soap was nonexistent, and showers were a luxury that didn’t exist in whatever archaic time and place they’d been dumped into. The water from the well was crisp and chilly, not at all helped by how cool the air was. There was a lot about the situation that wasn’t ideal, but Narcissus believed the lack of available opportunities for self care and hygiene was among the leading issues.
And a significant contributor to the very hopeless mood.
Being clean and fresh and well cared for was something that made people feel normal and human. But living like this was an easy way to depression and sickness. Narcissus could see the effect of stagnation on his bunk mates. It was easy to fall into despair and give up and do nothing…
He couldn’t let that happen. After the first handful of days in the village, when answers and a way out hadn’t presented themselves, he’d decided he would do laundry. Their resources were minimal, but they still had a few. From the overgrown garden, he’d found lavender and eucalyptus, or at least he hoped they were. They did heavily resemble the earth counterparts, and they smelled nice, so he was pretty hopeful. The lavender served as a disinfectant. The eucalyptus was an antiviral and antibacterial herb. The water from the well wasn’t warm, but it did appear to be fresh, and that would have to do. He could do laundry like this.
So he had. After smashing up his herbs and swirling them around the water, he’d scrubbed down whatever garments he could grab that wouldn’t leave everyone completely exposed. They were fortunate that Diesel’s magic could keep a fire going so no one fell victim to the cold air, and it helped the clothes dry a bit faster.
If nothing else, they could finnegle clean clothes.
Bodies were less convenient. They were a bit bigger and couldn’t be scrunched up and dunked in a bucket. But they were no less important. Even more important, really, as far as Narcissus was concerned. He’d been sure to rinse off as often as seemed reasonable, typically while waiting for newly washed clothes to dry. None of his bunk mates seemed to care as much as he did, which was either frustrating or worrisome.
Diesel seemed to avoid it because of how long it took his piles of hair to dry.
Rakovanite… Narcissus didn’t know why Rakovanite hadn’t washed. He would’ve assumed someone so stiff and locked into routine would take every opportunity for something “normal,” but he hadn’t. So that didn’t seem great. Convincing the agent to do something he didn’t want to do usually proved futile, but that didn’t stop Narcissus from trying.
He was wearing Rakovanite’s long purple coat while his own clothes dried when Narcissus poked his head around the corner. “Um, Rak? Can you come help me with something in here?”
Indigo_Plateau
Posted: Thu Oct 22, 2020 6:02 pm
EchosSweet
There was nothing to do about this. That was how it was starting to feel. Well, that was how it had felt a week ago, and it hadn’t gotten better since. They were all going to die here. Was there a point in dragging it out? Was there a point in trying to adapt when none of them knew how? There was nothing to gain from existing in a world like this when they all knew how comfortable and happy and normal they could be, if they were at home.
Rakovanite was so tired, but sleep never came.
He wanted out. Home looked less and less like an option the longer time went on, and in the absence of that, there was only one definitive ‘out’ everyone could look forward to. It wasn’t wallowing, as far as Rakovanite understood it. It was just reasonable. It was reasonable to limit continued suffering if it could be helped. They had been defeated. By allowing themselves to be brought to this place, they had lost.
But he’d always known no one thought like he did. Neither Cervantite nor Narcissus were prepared to admit defeat, despite the overwhelming evidence. They wanted to waste time and effort rather than surrender.
Rakovanite released a long sigh as Narcissus appeared in the adjoining doorway.
He was lying on the floor on his side, wearing just the tight black top of his uniform and his long pants. Cervantite sat across from him and looked up inquisitively as Narcissus entered.
With a soft grunt, Rakovanite tossed down the handful of cards he’d been holding as he and Cervantite played cheat for what must have been the hundredth time. He picked himself up off the floor, before moving toward the Dark Mirror boy. “Are you cooking?” He asked in a quiet rumble. He didn’t know what else might require his assistance besides just carrying things.
Narcissus gave a tiny smile as Rakovanite stood. He was afraid, so, so afraid of what this place did to people. Of how it made them feel. He was as tired as anyone and scared of what was going to happen to them, but he didn’t want to be defeated. He didn’t want to just surrender… He wanted to be there for people. His job was to help those who were hurting. And even though his bedside manner was a little lacking in its ability to reassure, Narcissus knew it was an important aspect that he had to work on.
So he tried to smile.
He slipped a hand into Rakovanite’s to help guide the agent after him and into the kitchen-esque room, with it’s little table and few chairs. “No, not exactly cooking,” he admitted with a little shrug. “I finished with some of the laundry, took a quick wash.” He petted his thumb over the back of Rakovanite’s hand and tried not to fidget.
“I thought you might like to too?” He offered hesitantly. “Since the water’s already set up and I put some nice-smelling things in it… Just, you know, since the opportunity is available, I wouldn’t want you to miss out, if you wanted to try and get a little cleaner?”
And then, softer, as if afraid it might offend Rakovanite, “It might make you feel a little better.”
Indigo_Plateau
Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2020 2:03 pm
EchosSweet
Rakovanite’s gaze snapped down to where Narcissus had taken his hand. They had lived together for the better part of two weeks. They had suffered together. He was aware that the Dark Mirror wasn’t opposed to a certain degree of nearness, but Rakovanite had always carefully walled himself from this. These people were not his friends. They were merely co-prisoners.
When they were awake at night, watching the doors and windows, they were co-prisoners. When they were sitting at the table and eating the food that Narcissus had prepared from ingredients they’d all scavenged, they were co-prisoners. When Narcissus was doing his laundry or wearing his clothes or admonishing him for speaking too darkly or trying to convince him to rest when nothing important was happening… They were just co-prisoners. Rakovanite wanted his home and the people he was familiar with and comfortable with.
But that wasn’t an option right now.
He couldn’t help it if his fingers curled around Narcissus’. It was all he had that indicated closeness to another human being. “Do I smell?” Rakovanite asked as he allowed himself to be led. Even if he hadn’t showered, it wasn’t exactly like he’d done anything particularly strenuous.
Narcissus’ nose crinkled as he tossed a quick look over his shoulder at the other man. “I think we all smell at least a little,” he admitted. “It doesn’t really help that there’s no soap anywhere, as far as I can tell. But that’s okay. There are some things that can serve a similar role. I-it’s not really my forte, or anything, but I know a couple tricks! There was lavender and eucalyptus in the garden. I don’t really know if mashing up the plant and throwing it in the water has the same effect as the ‘essential oil’ variant, but I’m working with what I have.”
It was around this point that Narcissus’ free hand started to find its way to the ends of his hair, gently twisting and tugging the strands as he rambled, “I s-suppose the most I can hope for is that it isn’t a skin irritant, but it hasn’t affected me, yet, and I imagine it would be pretty instantaneous. Although, that’s not to say it w-wouldn’t do something to you. Everyone is different, and everything. I’d wondered if it would have a similar effect as the food, but that hasn’t happened, yet, either, so-”
Oh, he was just carrying on, and he knew Rakovanite wasn’t concerned about any of this, so he might as well stop beating around the bush and get to the point. Narcissus swallowed, took a breath, and forced his arm back to his side.
He nudged the other man down into a chair and dragged his water bucket over. “Let’s just do your hair, okay?” He asked, smearing one of the agent’s limp bangs out of his face and behind his ear. “Anything else you can do when you feel like it. But for now, this won’t hurt anything.”
Indigo_Plateau
Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2020 3:31 pm
EchosSweet
The most bizarre thing happened in the span of the few steps it took them to make their way into the kitchen. It just took a slight shift in the Mirror boy’s tone, ’I know a couple tricks!’ And Rakovanite could tell from there what was coming. He could practically anticipate the stutter, the fidgeting with his hair, the way Narcissus went on and on as if afraid of what silence might follow if he stopped talking.
He was anxious. Or nervous, maybe. Some kind of heightened excitement that made Narcissus twitch and fidget and ramble, and Rakovanite could tell.
It was almost surreal. Not an experience Rakovanite had a lot of familiarity with.
This boy’s mannerisms in particular weren’t difficult to follow, but it was still something from someone else that he was reading, and Rakovanite just did not have enough interaction with people outside his own family to be able to understand even very obvious tells, usually. He blinked in confusion, and studied the other man through very slightly narrowed eyes. It was interesting… And still more so because he didn’t think he wanted Narcissus to be anxious.
In a motion very similar to the one the other had performed a moment prior, Rakovanite petted his thumb over the back of Narcissus’ hand. “Just breathe,” he commanded quietly, as he took the offered seat.
His fingers traced the movement of tucking his own hair behind his ear, and his gaze dropped. “You seem… worried.” Because of what Rakovanite had said before? Because of his willingness to be here? Did Narcissus think he was going to do something excessive? ...Would he do something excessive…? He cleared his throat and sat a bit straighter, squaring his shoulders. “Am I to assume you did not really need my help, then?”
Well, it was better than having to fight over everything. Narcissus could at least recognize that. He’d expected refusal or some kind of rebuff. Rakovanite didn’t seem like the type of man who frequently took suggestions from other people, so when he agreed to do something even so menial as sitting, Narcissus considered it a win.
His laugh was an awkward, strangled bubble as it erupted from his throat. “Well, I kind of needed your help? Hard to clean something that’s not around, isn’t it?” His slanted smile faltered a bit. “I am worried, though” he admitted as he retrieved what looked suspiciously like a stein from the tabletop. “Everyone is worried and trying to hold it together. I am. You are…” He gave a noncommittal roll of his shoulders as he moved to stand in front of Rakovanite again. “A lot of things aren’t what we’re used to here. It’s hard to cope. And it seems like we may be struggling in vain. I know. I get it.”
Narcissus knelt, before tipping his mug into the water and waving a hand up to encourage Rakovanite to lean over.
“But even when we’re trapped like this, I think there are still things we can do that make us happy. Like… how I don’t usually cook at home, but I’ve gotten to try some new things here. I won’t say any of them were groundbreaking, or even good, but it’s fun to experiment. And in the mornings, when Diesel lights the fire? It’s nice to just sit in front of heat and feel the heat. I don’t really relax at home much, either, between my studies and my job and, you know,” he gestured to himself quickly. “This. The point is, I know it’s not the same here. I know it’s not as comfortable. But it’s not all bad, is it?”
Admittedly not a great statement to make right before dumping a cup of chilly water over someone’s head.
Indigo_Plateau
Posted: Wed Oct 28, 2020 8:04 am
EchosSweet
Rakovanite grunted stiffly. He lifted a hand to touch his hair, greasy, oily, and lank after nearly two weeks of neglect. Of course he didn’t want to live like this. He didn’t want to treat his body so poorly. But why shouldn’t he if they were all just going to rot away here. Narcissus could press onward because he valued that struggle as a part of life, and he wanted people to live above almost everything else.
It just felt like such a foolish want to Rakovanite. How could they justify the suffering without enough benefits to balance it out?
He puffed out a sigh and tipped his head to peer at the Dark Mirror over the rim of his glasses. “It is not enough to me,” Rakovanite replied, voice quiet and low. “It is not enough to say that we can still eat or rest. It would not be enough to say that we could live peacefully and quietly. And we are unable to do even that. We have no idea what to do, and we have gotten nowhere since we arrived. This is not worth it to me.” His dark gaze was sharp as steel and no more friendly as he looked at the man sitting before him.
Narcissus was soft and hopeful, things Rakovanite tended not to appreciate in people when they had nothing to back it up. But he was tired, and in Rakovanite’s unwillingness to perform basic tasks, Narcissus provided. He didn’t want to be cruel.
“...But I do not act hastily. It has only been a couple weeks. When we have truly done everything that can be conceived, I will further consider what actions I need to take regarding my own person. Until then-”
He got the words out before a cool rush swamped him from above, and Rakovanite gasped as cold water spilled over his head and down into Narcissus’ bucket below. He snatched his glasses off quickly and folded them up to hold in his hand before shooting a withering look at the other man. “You might have warned me.” Not that he hadn’t realized where their antics were heading, but he’d been in the middle of speaking.
Narcissus slid a hand back and around Rakovanite’s neck to gently tug any wayward strands forward over the man’s shoulder. He hummed out a quiet note of thought as he slicked water from the ends of his companion’s grassy green strands through pinched fingers. Another cupful of water was doused over Rakovanite, and he tousled his fingers through the agent’s wet hair. Narcissus knew it wasn’t clean, he knew it, really! But his herby water mixture did smell nice, and rinsing still seemed better than nothing.
A brush would’ve been ever better, though.
“I think you have really high expectations,” Narcissus said as he scratched his nails along the shorter side of Rakovanite’s hair. “There’s nothing wrong with finding small enjoyments to keep you going.” Another cupful, this time careful to get it more on the ends of his hair than his scalp. “You really can’t think of anything you don’t mind about here that you didn’t have back home?”
With just his fingers, Narcissus pinched away as much water as he could. It probably wasn’t smart to leave it wet for long in this cold. If someone got sick, there wouldn’t be anything to do about it, even. But it wasn’t like there were hairdryers just laying around. He’d have to have Rakovanite sit in front of the fire. Warm him that way.
He petted the strands back into place as well as he could, then let his fingers skim lightly over Rakovanite’s cheek to reach for his chin and draw his attention. “Maybe it’s nice not to worry about school or easier to watch your diet, or… Or maybe you’re happy to not be beholden to the Negaverse here?”
“Just… something? Some little thing you can think of. So even when everything else is s**t, you can have even some small thing to make you feel lighter.”
Indigo_Plateau
Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2020 7:50 pm
EchosSweet
He didn’t mean to keep shooting narrow-eyed glares Narcissus’ way every time the senshi poured another cupful of cold water over his head. The thought behind the gesture was kind, and Rakovanite appreciated it, but he still wasn’t thrilled about the terms. A shudder rippled through his spine, but he tensed up with every fiber of his being to keep from shivering continually.
“I know what I like,” he answered. “And I accept nothing less.”
But he supposed he could stand to enjoy more things. Rakovanite liked normal, and being completely out of his element lent itself to him rejecting everything else, but perhaps if he thought about it, there might be something worthwhile from the expedition.
He huffed and shut his eyes and tried to think.
Narcissus’ touch was firm but gentle in his hair as fingers raked through the shorter (but growing shaggier) ends on his left side. Rakovanite had always stupidly enjoyed when people touched him, even if he was never quite bold enough to instigate casual friendly contact. But he had people at home who could perform the task just as well. There was nothing “better” about it by virtue of it being here. He did appreciate that there was someone here who cared enough to be concerned and look after him when he didn’t want to, himself…
And when they were awake at night, sitting close but not touching, whispering quietly between themselves so that nothing outside would hear them… Too afraid to sleep, but with nothing to do besides just talk. Rakovanite didn’t like the circumstances, but he didn’t hate having someone there to talk to him.
The senshi’s fingers slipped beneath his chin, and Rakovanite’s lashes lifted so that his gaze pinned on the other man.
“I… like this,” he admitted slowly, leaning just slightly to tip his head into Narcissus’ fingers. “I like that I am not here alone. It could have been just Cervantite and I, and I expect it would have been, if he had selected any other shelter. That would have been difficult to suffer through. It is still difficult, but maybe less so with you.”
Blood rushed to Narcissus’ face more abruptly than he thought would be possible, and he couldn’t quite decide if he was embarrassed or just pleased or… something else. What he did know was that he felt almost relieved that the prickly man sitting before him would admit to anything being tolerable. Enough to rival the surprise that they were sitting here, together, like this.
He swallowed, and after holding the agent’s dark stare for a handful of seconds, glanced away, sat back, and let his fingers slide away from Rakovanite.
But he was smiling as he moved, and when his fingers twirled around the end of his own hair, it didn’t have the same franticness it usually had. “It would’ve been a very different game, if you were alone,” Narcissus replied, and he didn’t want to think of how quickly he would’ve given up trapped in this horrific world by himself. “But this way it’s like it was designed for us to look after each other and be there for each other, even if we don’t know or like anyone we’re stuck with. It still really sucks, but to me it’s nice to see strangers working together. It just makes me hopeful we’ll find a way home.”
“Even you-” A part of him wanted to point out that even Rakovanite would help the group with collecting food or materials or protecting Narcissus or Diesel when they left the shelter. He could be part of a community, if he wanted to be. But he imagined it would inspire immediate resistance to the idea, so instead Narcissus went with, “Even you have to admit it could be worse, hm?”
With the task as done as it could be, Narcissus rose to his feet and extended a hand for Rakovanite to take. “Let’s dry you off by the fire a bit, okay?”
Indigo_Plateau
Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2020 7:28 am
EchosSweet
It could’ve been worse. Rakovanite shivered again as a wash of unwelcome thoughts rained over him. He could have been here alone. If he hadn’t been out patrolling with Cervantite, his brother may not have even been here- It very well could be his fault if Cervantite died in this place, but if they hadn’t been together, he may not have known Narcissus was here. It could’ve just been him, sitting in this house alone, laying awake, waiting to die…
Rakovanite was offended by the circumstances now. He refused to live like this indefinitely. His time and energy were worth more than what he was getting out of this bizarre scape. But he could be patient. He could be patient in discovering if there was more he could get out of being here.
One hand still held his glasses. He unfolded them and slipped them back onto his face, before his fingers slid into Narcissus’ hand, and he stood from the chair with a sharp nod.
Diesel was still in the other room, lazily playing solitaire with their card deck as Rakovanite and Narcissus took up spots on the floor in front of the fire.
He toyed with his hair, carding his fingers through it while shaking out the strands as if that would help them dry faster. Despite the uncomfortable state of washing, it did feel nicer now. It smelled nicer. And of course it helped alleviate some of the chill to be sitting in front of a crackling fire. A fire they had to put out at night, lest the creature know someone was inside this building, but it was still comfortable for now.
“Could you really be content to live out the rest of your life like this?” Rakovanite asked quietly as he shut his eyes against the firelight. “Even knowing everything you had, and knowing that it is presumably still there, just unobtainable…”
Narcissus settled next to Rakovanite, folding his legs to the side and propping himself up on an open palm as he leaned just so as to be brushing his shoulder against the other man’s. There wasn’t any reason to be too pushy, but the invitation was still there, just in case the agent felt compelled to take it: ’You can lean on me, if you need to.’
For all that he didn’t think Rakovanite had ever considered him a ‘friend’ while they were in Destiny City, they were stuck here together now, and it seemed like maybe, just maybe, if they were going to be here a while, there should probably be room for a little more companionship. Narcissus didn’t hold it against Rakovanite that the agent had blatantly attacked him after Narcissus had helped heal him (maybe he held it against him a little), and he didn’t think Rakovanite disliked him too much now, since they were practically living together.
It was fine, then, to have even one moment of gentle peace.
“I don’t like the idea, so I’m not sure I’d be content, exactly. But if there wasn’t any other choice, I’d make do. So if you’re just asking me if I’d try to survive and make sure other people did too, yes, I think? I feel like if we had to adjust, we would, and with enough time, we could find things about this place that make us happy. Maybe it wouldn’t ever be the same as home, but humans are adaptable. We could figure it out. And maybe we could live out some decently long, fulfilling lives.”
“I suppose they wouldn’t be as long as back home, without medicines or hospitals, and it is terrifying that there’s a monster out there waiting to pick us off, and fear isn’t exactly great in large and lengthy doses, and even if individuals could live out their full lifespan, I would hardly consider this a viable population in the long term, so there probably wouldn’t be generations of us surviving here…”
A soft flush colored his cheeks at the continued rambling, so he cleared his throat and shook his head. “We’ll be okay, though, is what I mean.”
Indigo_Plateau
Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2020 9:39 am
EchosSweet
“Mm.” As Narcissus settled next to him, Rakovanite watched him from the corner of his vision. He didn’t distrust the senshi, and on even just their second meeting he had determined that there was likely nothing to fear from one awkward, stuttery man. Maybe that was truer here, maybe it wasn’t. But Rakovanite found it difficult not to just… tip ever-so-slightly to the side and rest his cheek on Narcissus’ shoulder.
Narcissus’ uncomfortably bony shoulder.
But his skin was warm, and his long, lavender hair was soft (if not incredibly tangled) where it spilled over his shoulder and down his chest. When the rest of Rakovanite’s body notched nearer to follow suit, his knuckles wound up brushing the outer hem of Narcissus’ dark pants, just barely against the side of his thigh. And, unsurprisingly, that was warm too.
Before, he’d thought he couldn’t possibly smell that bad because he hadn’t done anything that would make him sweat, but sitting practically right directly under Narcissus’ nose made him just fractionally more self-conscious.
Especially when he thought he didn’t smell much of anything but herby garden scents from Narcissus…
“A long and fulfilling life, living here...” Rakovanite didn’t want that. He wasn’t even convinced it was possible, and it didn’t exactly sound like Narcissus was either. “If anything, I consider it more a test of our endurance and our resilience. I have always imagined I exceled in these areas, but…” The practice was a bit different compared to the theoretical. “It would not have been the same to be alone. It is beneficial to have you close, I think,” he murmured quietly, fingers slipping up just barely to curve from the side to the top of Narcissus’ thigh.
His shoulders relaxed as Rakovanite leaned into him, and Narcissus let out a soft sigh as he tipped his head to rest over the top of the agent’s. On his inhale, he was rewarded with the fruits of his labor: a soft, floral scent of lavender coming off Rakovanite’s damp hair. And though the man seemed a little more open than usual, Narcissus couldn’t decide if that meant he was more relaxed or just more depressed and needy because of it.
He draped his arm over Rakovanite’s back, with his fingers curling gently around the back of the other man’s neck so that he could rub soft circles into the muscles there.
“I know it doesn’t feel like it because of where we are and everything that’s going on, but don’t forget that I’ve seen you when you were hurt and still fighting… I’ve seen you stand up to people who were in your way. You are resilient, Rakovanite. It’s just that different situations test us in different ways, and you don’t have to have an answer for all of them.” His thumb slid up the side of Rakovanite’s neck, massaging gently. “You’re still here, aren’t you? Still looking for answers. There’s not more that can be expected from you here, you know?”
His lashes lifted, and his gaze fluttered down to where Rakovanite’s hand moved over his leg. Narcissus wasn’t shy, he was just… awkward, and something about that coupled with his typically unkempt and exhausted appearance and willingness to ramble about most topics made people uncomfortable. Rakovanite seemed like he was uncomfortable around most people, so maybe one awkward senshi was no more an issue than anything else, but-
But regardless of the reason why the agent seemed more open (relaxed or desperate or needy), Narcissus didn’t think he was imagining the change in mood.
He slipped his hand from around Rakovanite’s neck to brace over the shoulder farthest from Narcissus and used the tug of that leverage to shift his weight, leg sliding closer to Rakovanite and dragging the man’s hand further up his thigh.
“There are a c-couple things you could do to make yourself feel better if you were alone,” Narcissus said with a tiny shrug, voice dropping to a whisper to conceal the words from Rakovanite’s little brother still just behind them. “But, uh, I think there are probably a few more you could do to make yourself feel good with someone else.”
