[PRP] Life Changing (R'iz, Shar, & Dragons)

[Hattaki]

Wrapped tightly in coiled red hair, fingers pulled slightly in a mix of emotions that R'iz was still attempting to piece together. He'd been thrilled earlier so it made no sense that later when he was back alone at his weyr he'd be feeling exhausted and confused. Maybe even a tiny bit sad. Bossuth's presence just outside on the ledge looking at the setting sun was comforting for the twirl of feelings running through him.

Xazri was alive.

If only he'd gone down there sooner, asked some rider, any rider, to take him down to Rubicon River Hold then he'd have known that, but instead he'd shouldered the burden of her loss alone and quietly. Now it turned out he'd subjected himself to a torturous span of turns without her when she was learning and growing ever closer to the dolphin pod that she'd introduced him to. R'iz let out an exhalation full of stress and weariness. It seemed that she'd buried him long ago herself as well, at least until she'd seen his face. So that meant that she'd gotten over the loss in some way, because while she'd cried for Izrad with him it hadn't been as heart rending as what he was expecting.

Which he hated himself for, because either it meant he was a fool for having not 'gotten over it' himself for so long or that he was just torturing himself for nothing all that time. Not for nothing, you mourned them like the older brother that you are. You honored their loss even if you did it in a way that hurt yourself more than it should have. That means you're a good brother. Bossuth's voice sounded wiser than it ever had, but he'd been affected by the interaction himself, so there was no telling if he was just being quieter because of the emotion.

She's alive. My sister's alive and living with dolphins Boss. R'iz pulled his hands out of his hair and gave a rough bark of laughter before falling back on the bed he'd been sitting on the edge of. There were tears in his eyes but given he felt like an idiot in that moment it was hard for even him to tell if he was crying because he was happy or because he was upset.

SilverLutz

 

[SilverLutz]

It had been a long day of drills. Shar and Yulaniath were both exhausted, but in that sort of achy, just had a great work out kind of way. They'd both scarfed down dinner and went through their evening routine of chores and making sure Yulan's hide was well taken care of, as well as Shar's riding equipment before finally heading back to their weyr. Not too long ago R'iz had offered them to move into his weyr with him and Bossuth since they usually spent more of their time there, only returning to their much smaller weyr to sleep. It was far more comfortable for Shar who really did try to be civil to her former weyrmate, but it was hard to shake the standoffish attitude she tended to get with people she didn't know. The rider and her dragon had been nice enough, of course, but Shar was much more comfortable with Bossuth and R'iz in her living space than anyone else.

Come, mine, let's go, Yulan said as Shar slid onto her shoulders, confident in her green to carry her up to their weyr without her harness. The duo took to the air and landed a few moments later along side Bossuth whom Yulan greeted with a head bump to his powerful shoulder.

Bossuth! How was training? she asked, clearly delighted that he was back. Shar had slid off Yulan by that point and spotted R'iz towards the back of the weyr flopped on his bed, still not changed into his sleeping clothes despite the hour.

"She wear you out?" she asked as she approached her own bed, dropping her things at the foot before stretching. It was then that she noticed the expression on R'iz's face and she paused, arms outstretched above her head as a very unpleasant tingle ran up her spine.

"What's wrong?" Though Shar was certainly not the most empathetic person out there, over the Turns she'd become quite in tune to her friend's emotions. After being around him so much it was kind of hard not to notice when something was bothering R'iz and right now something was definitely up.

Hattaki

 

[Hattaki]

While his rider was certainly in a decent amount of turmoil over the events of the day, Bossuth simply was happy. It had been beautiful to see two siblings meet up again after so long, to feel some of the sadness actually slip out of his Radish's heart and feel the hole that existed there shrink. It was like some sort of blessing that he never expected to see happen. Maybe that was why he was sitting in such silence, just oozing love everywhere, in all directions, because he was overwhelmed in his own sort of way.

It was then that he saw the green wings making a round through the Bowl and headed his way, a bugle of greeting left him and the little bronze's eyes began to dance happy blues and greens. He'd get to share what happened during the day with his sister after all! Gently he reached out to return the head bump against Yulaniath's own side.

Oh there was no training today, something even better happened. Bossuth wiggled just a bit, excited to spill to her all the information that he had.

All that love was almost a little much for R'iz, swamped by an array of difficult and wild emotions as he was. Given that it was his own fault his emotions were so stunted and tend to waver towards, if not nosedive into, sadness and depression, he knew full well that he had to figure it out on his own, or should. Sharing the confusing mix of happiness and sadness that he was feeling with anyone would be cruel.

With Shar's question though, the redhead sat up from where he was laying, hands on the back of his head and a complete lack of expression paired with a faraway look that saw straight through her. "My.. ah... sister is still alive." Arms dropping down into his lap, R'iz eyes snapped to focus at last on Shar's face. "What I thought was a training trip was a 'graduation present'. To see my.. still... living sister."

The statement hung for a moment in the air and he let out a frustrated laugh and fell back onto the bed again, hands rubbing at his face.

"Sorry. Not exactly sure what I'm feeling right now." He admitted after a few moments, his voice rough.

SilverLutz

 

[SilverLutz]

Being enveloped in Bossuth's love wasn't something new for Yulan, but as she opened her mind and senses she could tell the entire living space was practically saturated with her brother's happiness. Clearly something good had happened and Bossuth confirmed that as he greeted her.

Better than training? That's a high mark to hit, she teased softly. Although Bossuth was a dedicated dragon, she knew the setbacks he and R'iz had faced had them both in the dumps for a while. The scars on his beautiful hide were a reminder that even the biggest and strongest could succumb to Thread, but Yulan couldn't help be a little jealous of them. They were also testament to the fact that Bossuth fought and fought hard, giving everything he had and not running from danger. She knew not to wish scars upon herself or Shar but she couldn't help but admire her brother despite how they broke up his beautiful patterns and color. Still, despite their setbacks, Bossuth and R'iz trained hard alongside Yulan and Shar and they'd often talk about intense, difficult sessions with grins on their faces.

Shar could feel the delight coming from Bossuth and it was nearly suffocating. She could remember when he'd been just a little thing and his love had very nearly tipped her into some sort of panic and he was usually better about overwhelming her, but right now it seemed his filters were off. It was particularly jarring since R'iz wasn't all smiles and excitement, so clearly there were mixed feelings on whatever had happened. She knew the woman who played a maternal role to R'iz - they were in the same wing - and if she'd done something to mess with him somehow she had no qualms in letting her get an earful.

What came out of her friend's mouth was not what she'd been expecting, though, and all thoughts of flying right back down to the bowl to find her were tossed aside. She stared in disbelief for a moment, trying to figure out if she'd misheard, but R'iz said it again.

"...no, that...that's pretty intense. I don't know what I'm feeling right now either," she agreed, glancing over at the dragons. Clearly Bossuth was happy so she assumed R'iz was at least somewhat on the same wavelength as him, but there was a lot of emotional baggage to unpack that went along with having a dead sister suddenly show up.

Shar hesitated for a few moments, chewing her bottom lip. This was not her area of expertise. She had no idea what to say, to do, but a gentle push from Yulan made her rise from her bed and move over to R'iz's. She stood there for a moment before sitting down beside him, close enough to feel his body heat but not close enough to touch.

Yulan was quiet as she gazed at the pair, both concerned for R'iz and very excited that Shar was finally letting her emotions guide her rather than stuff them back into her mind. It was jerky and hesitant and she knew Shar didn't feel confident making the move from her bed to his, but she sent a wave of encouragement her way to let her know she was doing well.

That's a pretty big surprise, she agreed, gazing up at Bossuth as she pushed a little surge of excitement his way. Ever since they were young they'd been doing a bit of low key scheming where their riders were concerned and things were slow-moving, but this seemed to be a step in the right direction.

"That's...I mean, that's great that she's alive," Shar said once she sorted out the words she wanted to say. "But that was kind of a flitterbrained way to go about telling you." Yeah, maybe she hadn't thought it could bring on such a mixed reaction, but still! She lifted a hand and held it awkwardly over R'iz's back, a few inches away, fingers curling into a fist and relaxing again as she tried to figure out what it was she wanted to do. Normally she'd give someone a slap on the back or shoulder, but that didn't seem right for this situation. She remained like that for a few moments, her thoughts freezing on what the shells should I be doing?, and Yulan gave her another little mental push. The reassurance that she was on the right path helped and she finally settled her hand on R'iz's opposite shoulder, resting there firmly.

"You. Want to talk about it? I know I'm kind of awful at stuff like that but you are too so maybe two awfuls can make an all right?"

Hattaki

 

[Hattaki]

Still wiggling just a little bit, the bronze stretched out his unmarred wing to cover Yulaniath in an almost conspiratory gesture, he'd been thrilled to bits all day long after all and had to share it with someone or else he'd burst. R'iz at the moment wasn't ready to be that happy, though there was joy deep within him it was muddled all together with his sadness still and it would take time for him to pull the two apart so he could see just how amazing this all was. How amazing Bossuth knew it was.

She's a dolphin handler down in Rubicon River Hold, Nimueh and Mharlith found her down there and took us as soon as we were graduated so that they could meet again. You'd like her, she's really happy! the little bronze just beamed happily, remembering that first meeting, thinking on what introducing her to the rest of his family would be like. Shar and Yulan had to meet her of course, she was his Radish's sister after all! And Xazri would want to meet anyone that her brother loved, wouldn't she?

To his credit, R'iz was simply laying there, attempting to adjust to what he'd discovered or re-discovered in a way all in one day. In the long spaces between Shar's words he simply thought, mulling over what it was that he was feeling. Intense didn't even begin to describe what it was that he was feeling, the redhead wanted to simultaneously run around in circles shouting at the sky in joy and curl up and bury himself underneath Bossuth's comforting presence. Sans all the overwhelming love that he'd been telling the bronze about, not that he was listening from his own overjoyed emotions.

"For four turns, it was just me. I was all that was left of them, I mean... my dad probably survived, the b*****d. But it was always just me that was left, I'd buried them and reminded myself that they were gone every day, every moment of every... day." R'iz felt the bed sink just a bit as his best friend sat down beside him, just carefully a hair away from him so they weren't touching entirely. It made him want to laugh again but he wasn't sure if tears would follow it since his face felt hot beneath his hands.

Outside Bossuth shared the excitement that Yulaniath was feeling as well, it was boiling up inside of him alongside his joy and threatening to become another dragon entirely, or so it felt like. Not as surprising as what's happening now though. If he could wink he would have, all the little nudges all the months, they seemed to be finally getting somewhere. Somewhere good.

"I don't think she knew, Xazri was really excited after all so probably it was expected that I would be t.." His words cut off momentarily when he felt a pressure on his shoulder, warmth from Shar's hand radiating through his shirt. For all the months of all the turns that R'iz had known Shar, she'd never been one for physical contact, outside of one experience where there'd been quite a lot of physical contact initiated by Yulaniath's first flight. "... too."

A heavy sigh seemed to make his shoulders shrug and then sag, his hands falling from his face so he could look at her without hiding his emotions entirely. "We're both awful at emotions aren't we." A tear ran down one of his cheeks, exactly what he'd been worried about. "Xaz and I looked almost like twins despite the difference in age. She has our mom's eyes. I look at them every time I see my own reflection, but to see them from her face while wearing that big smile just like mom... to know that she's alive and been working so hard..." Laughter bubbled up in his chest and he slapped a hand to it as if to hold it all in, but more tears were forced out by it. "What kind of brother am I that she had to mourn me while I was still alive too? She buried me a long time ago too, but she was happy. So why am I sad?"

SilverLutz

 

[SilverLutz]

Dolphins? That's quite exciting, Yulan agreed, clearly delighted in Bossuth's happiness. It was a shame R'iz was feeling so conflicted over the whole thing because his dragon was certainly eager to share in the joy. Yulan knew the moment of reunion must have been emotional but overwhelmingly happy and that these other, less pleasant emotions bubbled up once they'd been on their way back.

She must have been delighted to meet you, Bossuth. To know her brother is a bronze rider surely was an honor. Even though Bossuth downplayed his own importance, the color of his hide was well known all over Pern. Every dragon was a blessing to the world but golds and bronzes were held in high regard.

Shar, for her part, was doing well after letting her hand settle on R'iz's shoulder. She'd caught the pause and understood his surprise all too well. He was usually the one to initiate any sort of emotion-based touching - though Yulaniath's maiden flight was an exception, but that could hardly be called emotional and more instinctual - so for her to lay a comforting hand on him was certainly a shock. He took it in stride, though, and Shar took a deep breath to steady herself.

She listened as best she could even though she was quietly starting to overthink the situation. R'iz was crying, but also laughing, but clearly confused himself. They both knew they'd rather sit on their emotions than deal with them (or in Shar's case just get pissed off), but they'd both been working slowly towards a healthy attitude towards them instead with the help of their dragons. Bossuth was the resident expert on letting emotions flow and Yulan kept a foot based in reality to guide them while still encouraging them to explore. This situation was A Lot, though. It wasn't every day your sister came back from the dead, so to speak.

"Shards if I know," she said honestly. "Emotions are weird. But..." She trailed off, biting her lower lip. She didn't like to see R'iz upset. She knew he was strong, that he'd borne so much physical pain in her time knowing him, and that something as mysterious and internal as feelings could mess him up like this. This wasn't something she could hit or dominate into submission and she felt rather helpless because of it.

Yulan could sense that Shar was floundering and she looked up at her brother, her gaze beseeching. Mine is trying very hard to help, but we both know this isn't her strongest quality. Perhaps a bit of encouragement from you? Yulan knew that Shar sought out the bronze for quiet talks about emotions when Yulan's advice didn't quite help. Bossuth was a treasure when it came to things like this.

"You couldn't know she was alive," Shar insisted after trying to sort her words again. "You came here right after Thread fell. You were in the healer's ward for so long, then you enlisted as a Candidate. Got Bossuth...it wasn't like you could leave to go try and find her." And after watching his brother die Shar felt like some part of R'iz had died as well, that he felt so alone that it wasn't possible for his sister to be alive. Seeing R'iz like this made something within Shar's chest ache, sympathy or something similar, and it startled her. Shar wasn't the type to empathize with people and she definitely didn't have an equatable experience. But sitting here, watching R'iz struggle...it hurt.

"It's...okay to be sad," Shar added slowly as if testing the waters to ensure it was safe. "I think. I mean. Your brain is probably all kinds of overwhelmed right now and if that's what it's latching on to? Go for it. And like you said, you mourned them every single day for four Turns. Maybe you're sad because you could have been a bit happier all that time and you're mourning four years of missing that."

Hattaki

 

[Hattaki]

Never seen one before but they're very happy creatures, very chatty too. You have to come with us the next time that we go down, so you can meet his sister and the shipfish. Though he was still oozing joy and happiness in every direction, Bossuth wasn't so cruel as to continue smothering Shar with it, so he kept it so that it was bubbled to just he and Yulaniath. His Radish wasn't in a great place for it either, even though he was partially happy deep down. It was all the stubborn and sticky emotions that got in the way of his happiness and had for many turns that were impeding him right now.

So though he didn't want to, he scaled back on his own happiness just a bit, so that he wasn't a glowing beacon to the entire Weyr any longer. It fit correctly in timing with his sister mentioning the honor that it must have been to meet him, that snuffed quite a bit more of his joy. She was happy to meet me, to see that her brother was a dragon rider, even to a scarred and hopeless bronze. Luckily for me she didn't seem to take into account how small or hobbled I am because she's used to dolphins. The bronze gave a rueful chuckle at that and some of his happiness came back out again in waves for just Yulan. It had been a very joyous experience after all.

Nodding his head in acknowledgement of Shar's statement about emotions being weird, R'iz just looked down at his hands, uncertain himself. Tears still trailed down his face as he tried to rein in what he was experiencing before it threatened to put both of them off kilter. For all that both of them had been doing a good job getting more in touch with their emotions and feelings it was still a battle when things happened and the redhead was reeling around in his own head. There was nothing that might be done other than to just keep it all to himself right?

He didn't want to hurt Shar with his own pain and idiocy.

It was this that caught Bossuth's attention first, followed right on it's heels by Yulan's request for her own rider, what kind of dragon would he be if he ignored both his own rider and the other person that meant the most to him? For Shar did mean the most to R'iz, more than he was willing to admit out loud for fear that she'd run away from him. Slowly the bronze turned around and laid his head just at the entrance to the weyr from the ledge so that the glowing facets of his purple eyes could be seen if one just glanced.

As quietly and gently as he could manage, he pushed a wave of confidence and encouragement her way. All these months and months you've talked with me about emotions, the confusion that comes with them and how to pick it apart. You're right to tell him that it's okay to be sad, because his emotions will be all twisted up for some time, but there's something better you could do for him. When words get hard to express sometimes a gesture is better. Bossuth softly impressed to her that a hug might be what the situation called for as he listened to her speak. He knew full well what she was feeling and it wasn't sympathy, it was a four letter word that started with an L that neither of them had broached yet.

"Yeah, the inside of my head isn't really a fun place right now, not that it ever is." R'iz admitted with a dose of deprecating humor, hands reaching up to wipe away the physical expression of his confusion and sadness. "I guess I'm just trying to justify to myself that there was no way I'd ever have been able to know, the letter I sent never got returned or answered and I just gave up hope back then. Before I even Impressed to Bossuth I had always set this goal that I'd go and see, go and try and find a solid answer that I never had."

He didn't know what he was doing now though, with that solid answer. "In some way having one sibling come back from the dead so suddenly just reminded me of what was lost entirely. I guess my brain just wants to torture me a little bit more with my memories. All the 'what if's it can take."

SilverLutz

 

[SilverLutz]

The idea of leaving the Weyr wasn't one Yulaniath was shy about wanting to do, though they had only just gotten to the point where that was possible on their free days. She longed to explore and to see what all of Pern had to offer. As much as she loved High Reaches the call of the horizon was very tempting.

All talk of visiting other places was put on the shelf as Bossuth focused his attention on the two humans within the small weyr. Yulan clambered up between Bossuth's strong shoulders, taking her preferred spot on his back. She stretched out with him, her head resting on his neck, her tail trailing over his side, wings tucked neatly against her back. She wanted to watch and see what would happen.

"Well, it's not like you could have gone even if you didn't Impress. You'd have to age out before going anywhere," Shar rationalized. "So there really was no way to physically check." Lots had happened in the four Turns since Thread returned and it was easy for goals to be put aside, especially when one became a Candidate and suddenly had a duty to see to. Now, though, he had graduated and both he and Bossuth had recovered from their first fight. Now he could do as he pleased.

The sudden touch from Bossuth surprised Shar, but the voice and the tone were something of a comfort to her by this point. Whenever she'd been too embarrassed to talk to Yulan about things she'd gone to Bossuth for his input and advice and it turned out he had been the right choice. She loved her green dearly and Yulan could be a wonderful dragon to bounce ideas off of, but she didn't have the same grip on emotions that her brother had. She hadn't taken offense to Shar going to Bossuth for advice, of course, and had even gone so far as to have chats with R'iz to allow the other duo to have some privacy.

A gesture. Even before Bossuth suggested a hug Shar knew what he meant. Hugs were...strange. She could handle a quick one here and there, a little squeeze 'round the middle, but she knew that wasn't what Bossuth was getting at here. He meant a heartfelt hug, one that lasted more than a few seconds, one where R'iz could potentially feel all the things Shar couldn't say. That she was here for him if he wanted to talk, that even though she was pretty shitty at emoting as well they could be shitty together, that she cared and didn't want to see him suffer. At this point a hug was looking less and less terrifying than saying all that out loud, so she steeled herself to do just that.

"I get that. You're happy she's okay but you know the same thing isn't going to happen for your brother." She knew how much R'iz beat himself up over that, that he felt like he'd failed to protect him. Shar was of the mindset that everything happened for a reason and that R'iz's brother was just one of the many honorable Thread fighters of Pern who had died for the cause. In his death Pern had found a new dragon rider and that, to her, was as important as the bronze that R'iz now rode. She let out a little breath before leaning in, pausing as she tried to figure out how to hug him. They were sitting side by side and that would make for a very awkward position, so she scooted a bit to pull one leg up onto the bed, now facing R'iz as best she could while seated.

"Come here," she muttered, her face turning just a bit red as she tugged R'iz towards her probably a bit faster than needed. She wrapped both arms around him in what eventually turned into an embrace but began more as a grapple, her posture stiff and tense. A bit of encouragement from Yulan got her to relax, though, and after a bit she was much looser and hopefully comforting to her friend. She even went so far as to rub his back (awkwardly on the first few times) with her hand.

Hattaki

 

[Hattaki]

Warmth reached out to envelop his smaller green sister, for Bossuth knew full well all the desires that she had, knew that she wanted to see more of Pern. Of course he'd only just gotten out the once but the bronze was more than willing to drag his sister all over the place. In the moment that he was focusing on he couldn't send her images of those oceans over Southern, of the way the dolphins danced and sang and chattered at him when he'd ducked his head down to greet them, but he would in time. For the moment he allowed her up between his wings, mantling them just a bit to make certain that she wouldn't roll to one side or the other despite the broadness of his back.

Purple swirled through his eyes watching what was happening inside, but he kept the happiness and the love to himself for the time being, cutting it off entirely to see what would happen between the two humans who'd been fumbling for so long.

Emotions were hard after all, though not for Bossuth.

Of course some part of R'iz knew that he couldn't have left at all until he was aged out, but there were desires that he'd always had. Or rather a deep unyielding need to know the truth of what had happened, to have someone tell him so that he could hear it and feel it. Naturally if that had happened, if Xazri had died, the redhead likely would have broken apart entirely for good, fallen apart right then. The moment his mind even began to entertain the idea of what 'might have' Bossuth's mind bumped up against him in a gentle reminder that it hadn't and nothing would change that, so he shouldn't be stressing about it.

"Honestly it was probably all the 'but could she be' that wrecked me. Because half hope is just hollow, but now I have actual confirmation, can go and see her whenever I'm free. So why.."

Cut off by her next statement it took R'iz a moment to let that sink in, the real reason behind why he was struggling and flailing against this tiny speck of happiness that had come his way. Because it could never happen again, it could only happen the once, and when he shut his eyes again later that night he'd be living the same moment he always did, all over again. "You're... you're right. He's still gone, Xazri and I are all that's left from what was already a broken family." Slowly he was sinking into himself despite the lifeline that Bossuth was throwing his way, just the very thought of it.

Or at least he was until he was suddenly yanked forward into a rough hug that started out more like Shar was trying to tackle him. With the angle it twisted his spine at and how off balance the both of them were, R'iz toppled despite himself or his best friend's attempts and they were very suddenly laying side by side. Golden eyes stared at Shar in confusion at first but when her grip loosened and her hands ran across his back and shoulders he finally grasped what was happening and something almost primal had his arms reflexively hugging her tighter. Rather than stare her in the face like an awkward weirdo, the redhead pulled her up tight against him and hid his face from view despite their awkward angle laying sideways across his bed.

It was harder to hide the slight shivers running through him than it was to hide the almost soul crushing need for some sort of human contact that he'd been feeling, or rather lacking in and R'iz didn't trust his own voice to say the words stuck in his head at the moment for fear it would crack.

SilverLutz

 

[SilverLutz]

Feeling Bossuth's love and delight rising beneath her was contagious and Yulan was not impervious to it. She kept giving Shar little mental nudges and encouragement as she watched her rider do as Bossuth had suggested, the hug awkward but slowly softening the longer she watched. She could tell R'iz was startled from the way he tensed up, but at least it seemed to shake him from the spiral downward he seemed to be slipping into.

Shar, meanwhile, was trying very hard to process why R'iz was sad while also trying to figure out if the hug was helping or if she should pull back. Shar had never lost anyone important in her life before, never had siblings, and couldn't relate to the pain R'iz was still going through all these Turns later. Any healing he might have done had clearly just had the scab ripped off it by seeing his sister. The manner in which he'd been reintroduced was jarring and she got that, but after the harsh startle she figured he'd be overjoyed even now. And yet R'iz seemed more depressed than he had been since she'd known him.

The hug, however, suddenly took precedence as she found the world tipping, R'iz's weight dragging her down onto the bed. They hit the mattress hard, arms and limbs bumping thanks to their proximity, and for an awkwardly long moment amber eyes met gold. Shar felt her face going red and her limbs tensing up again as R'iz pulled her closer, breaking their gaze but crushing them against one another. For a moment she couldn't breathe and she almost shoved him away, but a firm presence in her mind stopped her.

You can do this, SharMine. R'iz needs this right now. Just relax... Soothing waves accompanied the words and although Shar didn't completely relax, she did reassess the situation. R'iz was clinging to her like his life depended on it, he was clearly distraught, and while she wasn't the best at physical comfort she was his friend and she would try as best she could, shard it!

Trying to relax her arms again, Shar managed to return the hug. It was still stiffer than someone who was comfortable with this sort of thing would offer, but for her it was a massive improvement to her usual awkward slaps on the back or hugs. Yulan was clearly very pleased with her rider and she kneaded her sharp talons gently on Bossuth's back, delighted at the scene playing out before them.

Squeezing her eyes shut again, Shar did what her mother would do when she'd been trying to connect with her young daughter: she pressed her forehead against R'iz's, one hand sliding up to cradle the back of his head to ensure the contact wouldn't slip.

"Now it's not 'me and maybe Xazri', though. It is you and Xazri. It's more whole than it has been. I know it's not perfect, but it's at least a little bit better." And hopefully he could work with 'a little bit better'. She let out a slow, slightly shaky breath, more words welling up on her tongue, but her brain wasn't letting them out. You have me, she wanted to say. And Bossuth. And Yulaniath. She knew nothing could replace his lost brother and she didn't want to try, but she hoped she and their dragons could bring him a new type of happiness that might help dull the sadness of his brother's death.

Of course, seeing his sister had set off all those feelings again so maybe now wasn't a good time to bring that up even if she had the courage to do so.

Hattaki

 

[Hattaki]

If it had been any other dragon digging their claws into his back like that, Bossuth might have flinched or given away that it stung just a bit, but for Yulaniath he didn't mind. In fact it really didn't even hurt as much as Thread had, so it gave him something to compare the levels of pain he'd been subjected to and really it was rather nice to know what he could stand and couldn't. Besides, it wasn't his back or any part of him that mattered in that moment, it was the other half of his being that mattered, the one that seemed to be melting away as he clung onto his best friend as hard as he could.

Quite familiar with the sinking feeling of being sad and depressed, the small bronze knew full well that what was happening was relief, not further sadness or grief. Certainly it was something that he knew all too well since through his weyrlinghood it had been his Radish that had bolstered him when he'd been feeling downtrodden and depressed, that he could now return the favor, even through another party's actions he'd simply suggested, it made Bossuth feel like he was paying him back.

Which was of course ludicrous, given who would pay their own hearts back for kindness?

And kindness was what was wrapping the redheaded rider entirely up, through his dragon and Shar and even the waves he could feel from Yulaniath, so he didn't react other than to shiver just a bit harder when his friend pressed her forehead to his. Not even when a hand cupped the back of his head and held it there, her breath brushing across his face warmly as his was likely doing to her. It reminded R'iz of something his mother had done when he was very small, back when he'd simply been Rizdax with one heart that held an infinite amount of love in it, long before it had been ripped apart with loss. His mother's, his brother's... but now not his sister's. Others might have pointed out his father, but that had never been much of a loss to the teenager.

Shar's words rang in R'iz's ears, not just from the close proximity, but because she was right. Xazri was alive and he didn't have to feel as though he'd lost her ever again, didn't have to mourn her. In a way he had to find a way to patch back up the hole that had been gouged in his heart at her supposed death, that shouldn't have been hard for him. After all, she was right, it was a little bit better, and he'd eeked out an entire existence on "a little bit better" since his father had been exiled and he'd raised two siblings while being a child himself.

Slowly his grip relaxed until his hands were simply flat and gentle on her back instead of hanging on in a death like grip, his shudders started to cease. Maybe because there was warmth wrapped entirely around him, but also because something had finally clicked within him, something that brought a trill from outside on the balcony despite Bossuth trying his best to suppress it. "I think he just said thank you for me." R'iz said quietly, opening his eyes so he could glance at hers.

One of them finally caught the edge of it. the little bronze was speaking only to Yulan in that moment, a content feeling swelling up within him. At last. Emotions were tricky feelings, especially the one he'd noticed start to surface in his rider, but he was certain time would have them both grow.

SilverLutz