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Posted: Fri May 15, 2020 2:09 pm
One year.
Taijana and Kieran had given themselves one year to try expanding their family before Kieran resumed his travels. His work was important and needed to be continued, but he’d graciously stayed on Yael as long as he could afford to in order to ‘help’. With the deadline fast approaching, however, and new lands on the horizon the couple had decided together that Kieran would be better off continuing his work. Providing for a family of four with Taijana’s income had been tough to say the least, though Kieran had helped as much as he could.
Leaving their daughters behind, Taijana had accompanied him to the port where he would take off. The entire time she felt as if her guts had twisted in on themselves. What was she to say? She’d been sick, naturally, as she usually was before he left, but this time...this time was a little different. The huntress had never been one to keep secrets from her husband, but as of a month ago...she’d been keeping a rather big one.
Standing on the dock was almost unbearable. She watched as family members said goodbye to their loved ones, waving them on as they boarded the vessel, and knew that soon enough, she would be doing the same. Keep calm; this has to happen, it will all work out in the end. Right?
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Posted: Fri May 15, 2020 7:32 pm
It looked as if the time really was upon them.
Kieran had spent the last week gathering the necessary materials and plans for the trip across the ocean, but the usual energy that he had for traveling was somewhat subdued. It had been a year, a year of ups and downs, and he still couldn't believe how quickly time had flown. Months ago he had been optimistic, eager to fulfill his wife's request by expanding their family, and now here they were without any sign of pregnancy. Needless to say, Kieran was actually disappointed in how unsuccessful they had been. He had even taken concoctions from Taijana's family and prepared herbal remedies as written down by his own mother.
They had done so much....with no results. Perhaps all the talk of fate and spirits finally got to me. Kieran had surely believed that it would happen and that they would indeed grow the family and be parents of a youngling once more. He had been so hopeful that he had tried to push off any requests for lengthy travel but now that a full year had passed he found himself running out of reasons to stay. They had tried. What more could they do? What more could he do? Kieran's lips pressed into a fine line, frustration once more dancing across his gaze. Still he would never blame Taijana nor would he let her see that he was actually upset. It felt like a loss, all the hopes and dreams about having more children really had settled with him and now that their suggested timeline was up Kieran felt hopeless. As usual he blamed himself and wondered about what he could have done. All the logical solutions, the herbal remedies, the exercises, and everything else that he could have thought of failed. It was rare that he felt at such a loss.
But he would never reveal that to Taijana. Perhaps a sad gaze would get caught here and there but Kieran would quickly wipe it away with a smile. They could go out to a nice spot for the day, enjoy some fine dinners, spend time with their girls and just relax together for the night studying the stars instead. Anything to put a smile on his wife's face and to distract her from their current worries. Even now as they approached the docks, Kieran found himself reaching over to grab Taijana's hand and give it a squeeze, "You know we still have some time before it departs. Why not spend it together instead of just awkwardly staring at each other across the way?" He mused with a small grin, "What do you say?"
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2020 9:18 am
At first Taijana had been upset that their remedies hadn't worked. She'd tried to keep up an upbeat attitude, but over the past couple of months things had gotten...dreary at home. She'd had her fair share of break downs over it, and she was sure that Kieran was keeping as much of his own concerns away from her as possible. And now...now she had something vital to tell him, and how could she?
Maybe if they'd been a little more flexible with this due date then things would have been easier to say, but right now Taijana felt tied.
Leaning against him, Taijana squeezed their joined hands and smiled. Little moments like this reminded her of why she married him in the first place. He never failed to comfort her, even if he wasn't actively trying; just being near him gave her happiness. "Are you sure it's okay? What if they take off and you haven't boarded yet?"
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2020 9:25 am
Kieran smirked lightly at his wife's question, " Then worst case I'll have sent my luggage in advance since it's already aboard the ship. I can take the next one in a couple of weeks." He teased quietly though in all honesty perhaps it was what he was hoping would happen. Two weeks could mean a lot of differences in this world and it would be one last hope....but no. Kieran took a deep breath and pushed his glasses back with his free hand. They had set a deadline for a reason and he had to remember that. " Don't worry they will ring the bells when the ship is calling it's final passengers." Kieran reassured before tugging his wife along, " This port has gotten so busy that the last time I was here there was a little eatery. We can grab something light there." His silver gaze studied the crowds as he spoke and navigated them slightly away from the docks and towards a little line of merchant stalls and shops, set up specifically for travelers and their family members.
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2020 9:35 am
"Before we go, I've got something I wanted to give you. It's not much, but-" Taijana reached for the parcel bound in leathers that she'd attached to her belt. With the binding it could very well have been anything, but once she removed the outer layers it became very obvious that it was, at the very least, some sort of book.
In truth it was a journal; something that she'd had specifically made for Kieran. On the very last page she'd written a prayer of safety for him, but it was the cover she was most proud of. The leather she'd cured herself, made as soft yet durable as possible, with two large stars punched into it. Surrounding them were three smaller ones; one for Kitya, one for Xenia, and one for the little bundle on it's way.
It was easy enough to maneuver it off as they walked, and for once, Taijana didn't mind the numbers on the dock. For the most part they were her own people which helped, but the foreigners....well, she was still having trouble with them. "-it's a little something to remind you whose waiting for you to come back safely."
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2020 10:19 am
"Oh?" Kieran found his steps slowing as he waited to see what his wife had brought for him. He had noticed her packing earlier this morning but had originally assumed it was more supplies for her own journey back to their home. As the binding slipped away, layer by layer, he did indeed realize that it was a journal. She knew him well. A small smile curved up the corners of his lips, his obvious fondness for the gift reflected in his silver gaze as he moved to take the parcel into his own hands.
"Is this a hint for me to write down everything and send letters?" He teased quietly, "You know I'll always send letters home. I would never want to worry you needlessly." It was a habit that they had picked up years ago, long before they had even went on their first official date together, and the Yaeli man had never stopped writing to his family. If he could send packages of goods from the new lands he would send them as well. He was certain Belrea had a lot to offer, especially considering that they had flying ships. So surely he could send regular letters and even packages home for Taijana and the girls to enjoy. It would probably be about a year before he saw them again and so he would make every letter count.
Kieran hadn't looked at the details on the journal yet. He had focused more on navigating the docks so that they could get to the merchant stalls. The yaeli adventurer was almost ready to order some food before Taijana's words made him halt, "Who are waiting for me?" He repeated before slowly and surely glancing over at the journal cover again. Kieran had got a glimpse before when his hands ran over the smooth leather cover, but he had thought that it was just a design choice and nothing more. So what Taijana was telling him was that....
No. His gaze narrowed, his own mind incredulous of what she was hinting, and the Yaeli found himself almost at a loss for words. They had given up hope, right? Was Taijana still somehow hoping that she could have children? "But there's....three little stars." He finally managed the words after a long pause, his gaze slowly rising to meet his wife's questioningly.
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2020 10:30 am
"Maybe it's so you can write down stories for someone new." Taijana flushed, "Though...I do still expect letters." Perhaps she tossed out some of his older letters, but she never could. She'd kept them in neatly organized boxes; sealed away to read whenever he was gone and she missed his voice. It wasn't as good as having the real thing in front of her, but having something he'd written helped ease the loneliness.
The tension almost ate her alive. He'd yet to really focus on it, and while she was trying not to draw too much attention to the journal Taijana also had to resist the urge to shove it against his glasses. A part of her had wondered if she should have just packed it away with his things, but that seemed almost cruel, given how hard they tried. What if he didn't unpack until he was hours away from shore? Not like it would make much difference; he's going away anyway. Still...the selfish part of her wanted to see his reaction and see it she did.
Taijana's flush threatened to consume her. Her entire body warmed just from nerves alone. "That's right... three little stars..." She inhaled shakily and looked up at him, "...Kitya, Xenia....and one more."
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2020 10:41 am
Someone new...someone new. The words echoed in Kieran's mind, his gaze widening at his wife's suggestion. Was she truly suggesting what he thought she was suggesting? But we had tried so hard with no results. Why would Taijana be telling him this now? Was it still a dream or reality? Kieran swallowed, fighting to try to find the words to express his concerns and mainly questions, but he couldn't seem to bring himself to say anything. Would it be insulting if he just brushed off his wife's hopes? Or was he just being so pessimistic about their situation that he couldn't accept the truth that was right in front of him?
And then came the confirmation of his suspicions.
"One more?" Dare he hope that this was real? Kieran's steps completely still and his fingers clenched at the journal in his hands, "Are...are you sure, Taijana? When did you find out?" Better yet with the ship looming in the background of their discussion, travelers passing them towards the giant floating vessel, Kieran had to wonder why would she wait until now to tell him?
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2020 10:56 am
"I'm sure." Taijana's voice hedged a little," I saw a healer last month just to be sure. Then I waited a while, just in case the spirits took it back, but...we're expecting." Her mother had lost too many children while still in her womb to make Taijana comfortable with telling him something like this on a whim and with everything else...
She moved her hands so that both of hers covered his own. "I didn't...there was never really a good time to say anything after this expedition was planned and now...I just don't want you to feel like you had to give up anything to stay home. I thought about not telling you; I know you would've been upset, but at least then you would have been on your way."
Taijana was convinced, at the very least, that what she was doing was fair. It wasn't the best of circumstances, but it would have to do. "I can handle this for a year. The girls can help me, I'll go with stay with my sister when it comes close and you'll be back when it starts getting hard."
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2020 11:06 am
Kieran's breath hitched in his throat. Why hadn't she told him earlier? Even if the spirits had taken back the baby, if she had lost it....would he have just been kept in the dark? The thought surprised and upset the Yaeli man at the same time. He would have wanted to be there to comfort her. Why would Taijana want to take on that burden all by herself? His expression softened, slight hurt in his voice, "Tai why not tell me? I would have grieved with you if we had lost the baby." He would have rather much known what almost was than what never was.
"I'm glad that you did tell me now." Better late than never? Still Kieran couldn't help the knot that grew in his stomach. Would it be that easy to leave his wife knowing that she was indeed pregnant? "A whole year, Tai. Are you certain? I can always...I can figure something out." His fingers brushed over the journal one last time before he tucked it neatly away with his own travel bag. That way his hands were free to reach for his wife's hands and give them a gentle squeeze, "Please don't feel like you have to hide things from me, Taijana. I'll gladly take any part in your burdens. That's why I married you. If you feel like you want me to stay then you know I will find a way to stay. If I go I will make certain to be back within a year, if not sooner."
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2020 11:15 am
"I-I-I know it just...I would have said something if it happened, but I just...wanted something to go right after such after such a long time..." She'd even visited the Sanctum as much as she could for blessings and prayer in the hope that anything would make their dream a reality. Taijana knew that keeping a secret like that would hurt him, knew that seeing that pain would be hard on her, so why did she do it?
"Yes," Latching onto this, the huntress nodded her head. "It should be easier this time than it was the last two, and if something happens I can send one of the girls out for help." It benefited them to have young teenagers around. Taijana could trust them with the lifting and knew that if she needed their help that they would be there for her.
"....I'm sorry, I shouldn't have hidden anything from you. I won't do it again." She moved her hands so that she was just holding onto one of his now, and led her husband closer to the food vendors. At the very least now that her condition was out in the open she wouldn't have to hide any cravings. "Please, don't; you'll just be spending months laughing at me as I try to get out of bed in the morning. Go and have fun, but come back safe. Maybe with a couple of gifts."
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2020 11:30 am
Kieran's gaze softened at the confession, "I can understand that." He replied quietly. He understood how caring his wife could be but it did not stop him from worrying about her. What if this had happened before and she didn't tell him? Was he such a bad husband that he couldn't even recognize if his wife was pregnant?
"That's true." Kieran slowly nodded at Taijana's reasoning. His wife had her family and their two oldest to help out. He would send letters and care packages as well while he was away, "Maybe Belrea will have some good medicines and teas to help with pregnancy. I hear that their medicine is top notch overseas. I will make certain to send you back anything I find." He promised with a hopeful smile. Surely if Taijana believed everything would be okay then he could also have faith in his wife to be strong during this time.
"It's okay. I just want to be allowed to worry about you as well." He replied quietly and gave her hand a squeeze, "I'll go but you have to promise to be careful and to check in with a healer often. Let's go ahead and get you food so that you'll be content on your way home. Order whatever you like." He knew about the cravings of pregnancy and would be expecting to be busy before the ship departed gathering whatever Taijana needed from the local merchants.
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2020 11:47 am
"That would be nice. Maybe something that could help with sleep too for after the baby gets here." It wasn't the pregnancy so much that Taijana wasn't looking forward to in all of this, but rather, sleepless nights. It came with the territory, and you'd think that after having two rambunctious girls that she'd grown used to surviving on a few hours each night, but Taijana valued her rest. Maybe, just maybe, this one would get on a schedule fairly early on?
Not likely.
"I will, and every time I do I'll send a letter to tell you about it." Although, no letter could properly say how big she would get, what made her ill and what didn't, how the birth would fare....Granted, it had never been traditional to have ones husband present at the birth, but they'd broken the rules each time and now...Now she would do it alone. No, not alone; never really alone.
If she allowed herself to think that way then Taijana would be consumed by fear, but she pushed through. It wasn't much, but it helped.
"How about some....mushroom balls, sweet bread, and oar fish? Maybe with a little bit of spice on top? Do you think anyone around here sells it?"
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2020 11:54 am
Kieran nodded, "I'll make note of that. When I come home you better expect a lot of medicines and similar gifts." Things to help the baby stay healthy and to help his wife rest up, "I'll take a lot of shifts to make up for the time I've been away."
"That's a promise. We'll keep in touch and I'll do my best to shorten my trip so that I can make it home." If he could get there before the baby arrived it would be even better. Kieran had never left Taijana alone during those final days before and just thinking about it now made his gut clench. Could he really stand leaving her alone? Surely, somehow he could make his trip quicker. Even if it meant several sleepless nights...he would try. He just wouldn't tell Taijana exactly how hard he planned on working to make it happen.
"We'll find out if they do." Kieran grinned, "Just here..." He glanced around and found an old stump that was a bit away from the main path, "Sit and wait? I'll go find some. Slipping his overcoat from his shoulders, Kieran placed it on the stump like a cushion and gestured for his wife to sit, "I'll be right back." He would help her settle on the new seat before darting off to find at least some, if not all, that she asked for.
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2020 12:15 pm
For once during all of this Taijana didn't fight him on it. She knew there was nothing to keep his mind off the coming months, much like she couldn't erase her own worries, so for now giving him this piece of mind would have to do.
Even if she believed herself still fully capable of walking.
"Take your time, I won't go anywhere." Taijana gave a little half laugh as she sat. He was just...so overwhelming kind in moments like this that it made her heart ache thinking about how far away he would be. I'll write a letter every day so that we won't feel the distance. You'll see so many pages that you'll get tired of me.
As tired as she was sure her daughters would be of her. Without Kieran around to tend to her it would fall on family to keep up with Taijana and though her demands had never been massive, by all means!, she could still be persistent.
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