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Name: Michael Angelo

Nickname: Ninja Turtle (meant to be hurtful), Angelo

Gender/Pronoun: Male, He, Him

Age: 15

Birthday:May 5th

Sign: Gemini

Gemstone: Emerald

Blood Type: AB

Fav. Food: Lasagna

Hated Food: Catfish

School/Occupation: Meadowview High School

Hobbies: What does your character do outside of school/work during their civilian life? Note that this is an activity that they do on a regular basis, and reflects their personality. How often do they do this activity? Why? Note that if it's a once-in-a-blue-moon activity, then it's most likely not a hobby. List at least two, just try not to go overboard.

Amateur Astronomy -- Angelo stays up late at night looking at constellations in his telescope. He feels alone most of the time and looking at the constellations makes him feel at home. Sometimes he stays up too late and falls asleep in class the next day, annoying foster parents and teachers alike and causing foster brothers and sisters to tease and make fun of him. He spends most every night studying the stars. He'd like to do research, but at the moment, he doesn't have the skills or expertise to do so or the ability to gain some. He sneaks out at night to go to the park with his telescope to look at the stars.

Computer Programming -- Angelo is an ace at programming minor programs and should be a shoo-in for a programming track in college, but he mainly uses his skills to pull embarrassing pranks on others. At first, people really admired him for being able to program so well, now, well everyone is so POed at him for all the stupid stuff he does to them, such as setting the entire boys' bathroom to regurgitate. He felt proud of himself at first. However, he pranks people because he is lonely, and the more he pranks the more people don't want to be around him. So the computer programming is just one more attention seeking thing that makes him more lonely. He brings his computer with him to work on code, whenever he goes out to eat.

Virtues: These are positive aspects about your character's personality that affects them on a daily basis. Specifically, these are non-physical traits (such as 'generous', 'kind' and 'outgoing') that other people will look up to your character for having. All profiles have a minimum of two virtues (and a maximum of four).

Determination -- Angelo puts a lot of effort in everything he does, especially his goals. People like him for this because they feel that they can depend on him. He puts his all in to all that he does, making sure that it is just perfect before he quits, which gives him a sense of pride when he finishes. This can extend from his classwork, to tasks he is given to his goals, etc.

Loyalty -- Angelo will help out any teammate that needs it, even if he doesn’t agree with how they do what they do. His team can always count on him to be there for them. He is loyal to anyone he considers on his ‘side’, on his ‘team’, in his ‘faction’, etc.

Flaws: Second verse, same as the first. Things that are not flaws: 'clumsy', 'hates seeing people hurt their friends', phobias, mental illnesses, diseases, being 'too nice' (unless they are SO NICE that it is an ACTUAL FLAW), etc. Like the virtues, these are non-physical traits about your character that affects them daily, however these are attributes about your character that give other people reason to look DOWN on your character. Your profile must have a minimum of two flaws, and a maximum of four.

Audacious -- As mentioned, Angelo likes to pull juvenile pranks, however, his timing would be considered audacious. For instance, setting the school toilets to regurgitate the same day and time the Superintendent decides to inspect the school... Adults think that he has no respect for anyone. Other kids are tired of being embarrassed (and grossed out). Other people are fed up with Angelo and he has no friends. This trait does not just apply to his pranks, but he also been known to brazenly say just the 'right' thing to the 'right' person to tick them off especially a person with the power to do something about it. It is unknown how Angelo has lasted this long in this area, ticking so many off. If he had friends, they would be dragging him off, whilst gagging him as he talks away for his own safety. But alas, he's offended one too many friends..


Immature -- Angelo likes to pull juvenile pranks that are embarrassing and just down right wrong on others. Furthermore, he he refuses to take responsibility for his actions, even when they may endanger others. His family and friends have begun to shun him for fear of horrifically embarrassing scenes of discomfit. He does not seem to care, but he is very lonely. Due to his inability to take responsibility for his own actions, he does not believe it is his fault ad won’t stop. He will pull pranks on anyone he knows, but the most embarrassing ones are reserved for those closest to him.


PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Hair and eye colors cannot change from civilian to powered form, nor can tattoos or piercings. If your character has a tattoo as a civilian it will appear on the powered art, though will have a glamour to prevent people who have seen both from identifying civilian identities. Hairstyles can change between civilian and powered form; only Corrupted Senshi have vastly different hair between civilian and powered forms (their hair grows extensively in length!) Unnatural hair and eye color are perfectly fine, and there is no need to say they use hair dye or wear contacts - your character is free to have been born with blue hair if you want. Genetic heterochromia is allowed, but please consider that this is still considered a genetic oddity in our game environment; you are free to play with it but we encourage players to be considerate of this fact! If your character is intended to have different colored eyes due to injury, please make sure you have done adequate research and include relevant information when you post a quest, or PM the shop mule, The Space Cauldron, for help! More information on heterochromia can be found in the FAQ section of the Questing Handbook!

Eyes: Lime Green, Narrow

Hair: Jet Black, to ears

Face: Heart shaped

Skin Tone: Asian

Body Type: Normal

Clothes: School Clothes

Hello Spyder (Or Monkee, be sure to let us know which one you'd prefer!)! Let's take a look at your quest!

Civilian

Basic Info

This all looks good. The name is free and the occupation is valid.

Hobbies

While both are valid hobbies, the goal for the hobbies in the shop are to show how other people can interact with your character based on their hobbies.

To meet this requirement, you can elaborate by saying where he goes to look at stars at night, whether this is in parks, or down on his street for Astronomy.

For Computer programming, does he enter competitions, or do work for places where he goes to hang out at? Although I understand that his hobbies are meant to make him feel lonely, there should be something there that would give him an opportunity to meet new people. It could even be something like "he takes his laptop to work on code in cafes or in the park on nice days."

Virtues

Both Determination and Loyalty read well, except they also have bad things about them. You want your Virtues to mainly focus on the good, and why people like you, so you can take out those lines about what makes them bad. We want them to seem positive!

Flaws

Arrogance is not filled out correctly. It looks like you meant to, but you need to go back and properly add the description like the other traits. Right now it looks like it's missing information.

Immature looks good!

Powered

Name and Sphere look good!

Attacks

While your attacks are well written, and would work in any other case, they read very similarly to the Senshi of Jaguars, with the major difference being the color of the creature.

You should look to new attacks, specifically ones that reference The Panther, your chosen sphere, and not a standard panther that could be mistaken for a Jaguar.

On the link you provided, it states that "Under medieval belief, after feasting, the panther will sleep in a cave for a total of three days. After this period ends, the panther roars, in the process emitting a sweet smelling odor. This odor draws in any creatures who smell it (the dragon being the only creature immune), they are eaten by the panther, and the cycle begins again."

I would highly suggest you re-work your powers to reflect what the Mythological Creature actually does, rather than the animal's traits.

Suggestions could be:
- Roaring that makes the air smell sweet and dazes people so you could attack them
- Making people feel super drowsy, like they've just feasted on a huge meal
- A bite attack that comes after the sleepy roar.

Please let me know if you need any more assistance with this, and I'll be happy to take another look!

- Poods

XSpyderXMonkeeX

Hey, Spyder! Most of this looks great to me so I just have one small thing to request for his eternal magic that I think will be really helpful for people knowing what his magic is capable when he's casting it. In his eternal magic, you mention "A large ethereal panther jaw appears and bites into Sailor Wisse's foe within 9 ft", however the early part of the magic mentions that everyone within 9 feet will become drowsy. Because Senshi magic can cause the sensation of pain (but players can choose to have lasting damage) it might help to reword the magic to say something like:



If that's not what you had in mind, please let me know! You don't have to use my words, but I think that if the magic is written in this way it will be really easy for people to understand what it can do in battle! If I misunderstood what you had in mind, please let me know! We just need to add that the biting is a sensation and will fade when the magic ends unless the player chooses to take on more severe, lasting damage! Please give me a quote when you make any changes or if you have any questions!

Awesome! Have fun playing!