Welcome to Gaia! ::

When Sadie had been led up to the apartment, she'd been a soaked and shivering mess, and not really feeling up for more small talk, not really at all. Being in a heated building helped some, and the dry clothes helped more. By the time the once-Page returned from the kitchen, she was curled up in a seat, her long arms hugging her knees close. Her hair was out of its braid to dry, and she felt at least human if not quite warm.

She rocked forwards slightly, eyes brightening further at the sight of him. "They're just fine," she said with a gentle smile. She was a tall, lanky thing, and any borrowed clothes had a tendency to be either too short or too loose on her, but any clothes at all were lovely compared to her rain-soaked sweater. "You're being sweet as sweet, letting me come to your home like this," she said.

He was a kind one, she decided.

"So, I have another name," she said. "Well, we all do, I guess, but mine is Sadie. Sarandon, if you're feeling formal, but," she thought back to the first moment she'd seen the Neptune symbols on his clothes to when he'd pulled her from the water moments later and brought her here, "I think we might be past that already."

Sadie pulled her hair back over her shoulder now that it was past the sopping-wet stage and started combing through it with her fingers. "Duncan sounds a little formal," she said, wrapping a curl around her pinky. "Not in a bad way. It makes you sound like a king." The old stories had been much more interesting to her since she'd found all of this magic, and she remembered a good king called Duncan showing up in one of them.

"It's lucky you're a lifeguard. Well, maybe even more than lucky." Sadie wasn't sure just how much magic the planets had, or if it was enough to grow into something people might call destiny, but it was a nice thought that Neptune had sent her a proper lifeguard to help her out. She was shaken enough as it was, but if she'd had to try to crawl out of that awful chasm on her own and then find her way back home alone, it would have been so much worse. Even though she was warming up now, she shivered. "It's fitting, too, for being of Neptune, I mean. I just do design work and some other bits and bobs. I like gardening, and there's a garden on my wonder. That's the closest it gets to wrapping up neatly for me."

She curled up even tighter, and when she blinked, her eyes felt a little heavy. "I'll take a tea if you have anything decaf," she said softly. "And please don't worry about your house, it's lovely." Her own apartment was a bit of a explosion of laundry and takeout boxes at the moment. Even if she was the type to judge, she wouldn't be in a place to.

Talking about kingship had Sadie wondering just how many people had been rulers, back when the solar system had been broken up into all those kingdoms. Had any of the knights been kings or queens? The word knight implied a certain amount of servitude, but she wasn't sure just what it had meant back in the ancient days.

"The more I learn, the more I see it reflecting fairy tales and folklore," she said. "Um, knight magic is passed down through bloodlines, sometimes. Other people are connected to the past, somehow. For a long time, I thought they could just see old memories, but it seems like they might actually be reborn souls. All of us are connected to these deeply magical places."

She trailed off as he went off into the kitchen, happy to let her thoughts wander for a few minutes to the nicer parts of the strange and violent time she'd found herself in. When he returned, she accepted the tea with a smile and a deep nod, but she didn't drink it just yet. It was nice to curl her hands around the mug and to just feel the warmth for awhile.

"Neptune's absolutely lovely, by the way," she said, and there was a faraway softness in her eyes for a moment before her gaze snapped back to him, suddenly much more alert. "Or did you already know? Have you seen it? I'm sorry, I guess I never got a chance to ask how long you've been at this, what you've done."

"Underwater? Wait, really?" The cozy, sleepy haze was gone just like that. Sadie leaned forwards, away from her warm spot in the couch. Her eyes were very open now and nearly sparkling with attention. "Well, it's an ocean planet, so I shouldn't be so surprised, but my wonder's gone dry as dry over the centuries. I can see places where there used to be waterfalls, but now it's just riverbeds and a little bit of algae. You can see for yourself, though. I'd love to take you as soon as you're ready!"

As if to curb her enthusiasm, another shiver ran down her shoulders, and she stopped talking to take another sip of tea and to feel the warmth settle in her belly. "Maybe not tonight," she said softly.

There was another brief moment of contented silence before she said, "Sorry, I could talk about space for hours. It's what I know the best out of all of this magic life. The fighting and all of that still seems like a lot, sometimes, but if you have any questions or anything," she tilted her head, leaving the statement open-ended.

"Well, if you'd feel safer going up to your wonder with someone else, I'll always be up for it," she said with an intensity that wasn't often there. When she said always, she meant it. In general, she'd schedule times to go to space with people, but for Neptune? For Neptune, she'd roll out of bed at two in the morning if that was what it took. She'd reschedule work.

"My wonder is lovely as anything, but it's not quite like Earth's beaches." The sunlight was all filtered through the water. It was a surprise that her sun-loving plants were surviving, with how out on the fringes of the solar system her planet was, and how deep in the ocean, besides. The magic coming back to her wonder had to be a strong and life-giving one. "And my ancestor is, as you put it, a little intimidating, but a section of the irrigation is working, and I've got a garden starting to grow."

The complexities of space fascinated her. There was so much potential up there. The complexities of what was going on in the city mostly just gave her a twisted feeling in her stomach. When Duncan mentioned the fighting, she straightened slowly and took a sip of tea that was slower still. Then, she answered with a question of her own. "Everyone has their own reasons and their own philosophies," she said. "You say you know why. What have you been told already? What have you seen?"

Sadie didn't seek out danger, these days, but she didn't avoid it, either. In a city crawling with monsters, it was hard to stay truly safe. The thought of a little rough water up on Neptune was nothing compared to that.

"It sounds exciting," she said, her fingernails still tapping tapping tapping on her mug, faster and faster. "My wonder's beautiful, yes, but it's also a little desolate and tragic. It would be lovely to see another part of the planet."

The tapping continued as Duncan talked about his experience with the Negaverse, but the soft smile faded and Sadie's lips pressed into a thin line. It didn't sound like he'd seen too much of the war, but even being attacked once or twice was scary and sad.

"The Negaverse's power source is something called Chaos," she said. "I like the Star Wars metaphor for some parts of the war, but Chaos is not quite the Dark Side. It's not connected to our power source, to the Code, in any way, and often people don't choose to follow it. They're coerced, or tricked, or forced. It's like a disease." With effort, she set down her mug and switched to brushing out her hair with her fingers. "Like cordyceps, maybe? The one that can take over an ant's mind?" She squinted at the wall for a few long seconds. "Not quite that, either. They can be reasoned with, still. They can be purified. They're not quite puppets." She said it like she was trying to convince herself.

Even the worst ones off, the generals and the half youma, still had some will and a little soul in their eyes, which was a good thing. There was hope for them. There was always hope, but it was true they were truly broken people, truly sick as sick. "It twists them, like you said. They'll take starseeds. They'll maim people, unprovoked. I'm not-" she swallowed, "Not the only one."

Her hair was free of tangles, now, and she started braiding it again. "That's why some people think fighting back is the answer." She glanced up at him. "Well, most people I've met, but not me."

Sadie nodded, grateful for the easy question. "Any royal senshi or knight should have the magic to remove the Chaos from someone who unwillingly fell to it," she said. "I know one named Camelot who I could get you in touch with, if you needed. I also met someone who had been through the process. It seemed to work. He looked the same as any other knight."

Well, he’d been missing an eye, which had stood out to her even back then, and he’d had strange stories, but his clothes were white enough.

There was something in Duncan’s voice, then, that made her twist the end of her braid faster and faster. She wasn’t so blind to not notice the way he glanced at her scars while he made small excuses.

Then he spat it out that she should be careful and not hurt herself.

For the first time since plummeting into that unexpected ice bath, Sadie froze.

Her fingers no longer tapped or fluttered. She stayed there, staring into nothing for a full two seconds. Then, she turned so that her bad side was facing all the way towards the wall and she wasn’t really looking at Duncan, not at all.

“I’ve made my mistakes,” she said in a voice that was not just soft but also small. “I’ve learned from them.” This was the part that made her stomach go into knots. The first thing people saw about her was that she was a casualty, a victim. She knew Duncan hadn’t meant it like that. She knew he was trying to be kind. Still, she kept looking towards the wall. “It’s dangerous here regardless of your philosophy,” she said. “That’s something you should know. I’ve talked to people who go out every night bent on bloodshed and people looking for some kind of middle ground. All of them have their own scars.” Most weren’t as painfully obvious as hers, but they were there.

Finally, she glanced back towards him. “But if you want to make a difference, sometimes you have to have your “things in order”, as you put it, and go out anyway,” she said. "I'm not actually always looking for the Negaverse. I have some other vague ideas that I think would be best to figure out with a network."