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 Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2019 4:13 pm
 The sun had started its decent behind the distant mountains as a sun coated mare yawned as her day watch was nearing its end. Shaking her pelt out from the light drizzle that had fallen earlier that afternoon, Zaria looked around her rocky perch to see who else was around. It had been a long time since she had seen any of her family, after hearing that her father and sister had vanished into the ether, she refused to think that they were dead. Still, she hadn't heard from any of her other siblings nor had she seen her mother since she was younger. Turning away from the fading sunlight the still youthful lupin alcor loped off her perch and back towards her den. The day was done, but she had a strong urge to see her mother. Something told her that she was needed more now then during her day watch. Now the question would be, where would she find Ithildra? She wasn't sure if her mother knew where she lived now, having moved further out of the herd's inner grounds. The seclusion was always nice, but sometimes a little too much. "It is going to feel strange seeing others again, after being out here so long." Zaria muttered to herself as she shifted from wolf to equine form. Stretching her now longer legs, she raised her horn adorned head high, heading out to search for her mother. It was bonding time.
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Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2019 5:46 pm
 With the strangeness that surrounded the death of her mate and one daughter, Ithildra's mental health had declined greatly. The final blow was by one of her sons and a terrible mistake he made. By now one would think Ithildra was no stranger to loss but with her delicate nature, she fell to depression and began to isolate herself. She stayed within the Moonlight herd so to speak but kept to the outer edges away from the others. It was her job to take up her late mate's reins as Lady of the Sun, but there was nothing sunny about her.
Today's weather didn't seem to help matters as Ithildra spent her day laying under a copse of trees. She spent an increasing about of time in her wolf skin and that fur had caught the light drizzle from above. Her head rested between her paws, her ears flopped to the side. Her gaze watched the slow progression of a snail. The mental war was starting to become more physically apparent as the white color had dimmed and she became more angular from weight loss.
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Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2019 6:21 pm
Zaria had asked a couple of other members of the herd of where her mother might have been found. Some didn't seem to want to answer her, one motioned towards the trees where they had last seen her. her ear twitched slightly as those others had shied away from her. Then again, she wasn't going to fault them for it.. She had done things that weren't the kindest, in her youth...
Pressing away from those who were uncomfortable in her presence, Zaria headed for the trees. When she approached, she noticed the white wolf laying beneath the bare branches. frowning she trotted over to her mother and looked down at her.
"So they were right, I would find you here. Hello, mother." she said lowering her own body to the ground, she was still in her equine form, having spent all day in wolf. "How long have you been here?"
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Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2019 7:03 pm
Ithildra must have doze off staring at that snail for so long that the sudden sound of her youngest's voice startled her awake. Her eyes popped open and her ear swiveled towards Zaria. Ithildra mustered the energy and raised her head to look over at the sunny yellow mare at her side.
"Oh hello dear," she greeted sleepily, mustering a weary smile for her child. "I think I've lost track of time, my love."
Ithildra seemed so much older than she was in that moment. Seeming lost in the vastness of her mind. But guilt suddenly began to crawl up the back of her spine as she realized that while two children have gone....she still had one that sought her out and was still within the same herd. How much time had she lost with this one that she'll never gain back? Did Zaria have pups of her own? What has she been up to? Ithildra caught herself staring into space and shook the cobwebs of her mind away.
"How have you been spending your days, daughter?"
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Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2019 8:04 pm
Zaria watched her mother awaken, as she hadn't even noticed that the older lupine had fallen asleep. Still it had been a long time since they had seen each other. When she was asked what she had been spending her days, her ears turned backwards a bit. "I spend it keeping an eye on the boundaries of lands. Keeping my space away from others for the time being."
She didn't really want to talk about the time she had gone mad. It wasn't the most exceptional time of her life, but it happened. She had been keeping a distance between herself and the rest of the herd. She didn't want to lose herself in her wolf form again and kill someone else...
"Things have been crazy since what happened. many of us have lost track of time in more ways then one. Sometimes I forget how long I am out there." She stared off into the distance a little herself, before shaking her head and glancing back to her mother, hoping she hadn't heard what had happened in her past.
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Posted: Sun Dec 29, 2019 9:19 pm
Ithildra stretched out her front legs, spreading her toes out in the process. She momentarily paused and stared at them, wiggling them a bit. Her body shimmered as she changed from wolf to equine and her toes turned back to cloven hooves. She sighed lightly and looked towards her daughter. Such a beautiful golden color. Ithildra lost half her children, her son left but this daughter remained. But look at the two of them....what a mess.
Where has the time gone by? Ithildra shook her head and made a face of confusion. How long sine the great die off? No one is coming back....
"I haven't been a good mother to you," she finally said. "We're all each other has now... I'm sorry daughter. I dearly love you."
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Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2019 7:55 pm
"This is not all your fault mother, I haven't really been the best daughter. With my staying on the outer reaches of the herd grounds." Zaria said looking away a little, her ears tilting backwards some. "We'll make it through this."
She could only hope that these were encouraging words, but deep down she wasn't all that sure. Stepping closer to the larger mare, Zaria leaned against her as if she herself couldn't hold herself up anymore. The loss of her father, two brothers and a sister. The great die off effected many in their herd, but when the blow hit more home then just the herd. It was enough to make a star wonder if there was much more to really go on. shaking herself mentally, she was there for her mother. Even if they hadn't been close when she was younger, they were still family after all.
"We'll make it through this I am sure." Zaria was trying to also be optimistic. She just didn't know what else to really say... "I love you too, mother. Always have."
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Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2019 9:29 pm
"Life is tough. Being what we are is tough. The ideals of my parents and ancestors have no place in the world anymore it seems. We're all just nuts now."
Ithildra felt the pressure of her daughter's body leaning against her's. She began to gently nibble along Zaria's neck where her mane met fur. A sign of comfort, a sign of family, a sign of love. One daughter alive and safe. Two sons alive, but one made poor choices. Time to look at the good and realize though small, they still have family. While Ithildra loved and grieved Lore, maybe it was time to allow her heart wander.
"Would you be open to me finding a new mate? . . . . Then again, have you ever wanted to find a mate?"
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Posted: Thu Jan 02, 2020 6:51 pm
"You have no idea.." Zaria muttered to herself as she leaned against her mother. "We'll make it through this. I always wonder what my eldest brother has gotten himself into. haven't seen him in a long time."
Zaria frowned a little thinking of her brother. He had up and left when he really came of age. Leaving the heard behind to make his own, for what purpose? She was never too sure about. Perhaps at some point she would go and find him and see how he is doing. With so few left, it would be nice to see him again. When Ithildra spoke of possibly taking a new mate and asked if she ever thought of mating.... Really Zaria hadn't thought of it. She had just been so focused on protecting everyone from outsiders of ill and from herself. The thought just never crossed her mind.
"I really hadn't thought of looking for a mate. It was just more of what task I had to do and that was all." She said after a couple moments. "In times like this, finding new love is never a bad thing. I know we both will always miss father, but he would want you to find someone who will love you like he did."
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Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2020 11:47 pm
"Perhaps, I'll find another mate someday. No guarantees though.....There's nothing wrong with focusing on yourself and what you need to do. Love and mates aren't the only things that matter. As long as you do you."
Saying that made her thoughts drift back to her son, Seregdra, and the poor choices he made. He made them in the name of family he will never know or meet. He made them for the ideas and standards set by Ithildra's father that were difficult to live up to even then. Standards and ideals that, as she had said, had no place in the world anymore. When he came back with four little foals in tow and no mother in sight, Ithildra wanted to help him. But then she saw that two resembled their mother and it brought the terror of the past back. She was shocked that he would do that, but his reaction showed he had no idea who the mother really was. A monster.
"We should go find Seregdra. I was hurt and mad with him. He made poor choices but we need family, now, more than ever."
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Posted: Mon Feb 10, 2020 7:33 pm
There were many things she wanted to say, she just didn't have the real courage to speak them at the moment. With the talk turning to her brother, the large meat head of a brother. He had gone off and started a herd of his own, she had lost contact with him at some point in their lives. Much like she had lost contact with many of her family. There was a time even with herself until she was smacked back into her own body of sorts. Zaria did have to wonder what her brother was up to these days. Was he still the meat head that he was when they were younger? Or was he completely different. How many children has he fathered by now? She didn't know about those he had had in the past. Missing much family drama.
"Yes, we should go hunt for my brother. I do wonder what he has been up to all these years. How much trouble has he gotten himself into since we your younger." This she had to agree with her mother, they should go looking. She could only hope that her brother hadn't gotten into things too far over his head. She would be cross if he had.
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Posted: Tue Feb 18, 2020 7:54 pm
Ithildra turned around and looked back over the herd lands she had called home for so many years. Many of those years had been happy and full, she had a mate and children and a home. The great die off took a lot from many a star and some never had bounced back. For a time there, it nearly ate her up but not anymore. With Zaria by her side, they will finally leave this now strange place and travel stranger lands in search of family. There still had to be more happy years yet in their lives.
She looked over at her daughter. There's been something lurking beneath the surface of her lovely daughter, Ithildra had been so lost in herself that she never really knew what had been going on with Zaria. But that's over, Zaria needed to be with others like her. Not here where the only one who should have been there for her wasn't and not alone either. No, together they leave this herd where they no longer belonged and go find the herd where they do. Ithildra could feel it in her bones that she still had family out there.
"I know we can find them Zaria. I just know it." Ithildra said as she turned back out and took her first step outside the boundary of the herd land.
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2020 7:48 pm
Zaria too looked back towards the herd lands, they had been home for so long. Her father had been one of the three founders and now he was laid to rest along with those who did not make it. Sadness crept through her like a thick mist before she drove it away. This was no time for sadness, they were going on a journey. One that was going to lead them to finding one that was lost. She had never really spoken to her brother, but Zaria was wondering of his where abouts. Turning away from all that was familiar, though she felt more like an intruder. Someone who did not belong there and it was time to leave. Following Ithildra away from the lands, she looked forward and towards what the future was to hand her. "Yes." Was all she said as she continued, falling into step just off her mother's shoulder. There was something deep she wanted to ask, but the words were not coming as they should. Perhaps somewhere in this journey she could build up the courage to speak. Speak of her fear of her wolf form and the potential of falling into madness again..
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