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Welp Mel was in a bit of a pickle. He found himself balanced rather precariously on the skinny railing of one of those faux balconies that were really only good for potted plants. No way up and no way down. He could cry loud enough to get someone’s attention of who’s ever window he was currently stuck in front of but that would leave him open to the dangers of a stranger. STRANGER DANGER! And all that….

He was really only a floor up so if it came down to it Mel knew he could just jump, and hope for the best. It would just hurt like all heck if he landed wrong, or on the wrong thing. The only other option was to make it to the cloth awnings of the store across the alleyway. It was doable, not easy but doable. A straight jump, no deviations, didn’t have to go up, didn’t have to go down, just straight across. Yup. He could do this. He had to do this.

With his tail flicking in concentration the guardian cat narrowed his golden gaze and tensed. He was preparing to jump. He had to time it just right. Had to do this at the perfect moment.

Had

To

Just

AAACCCCK!

Just as Mel was preparing to jump someone or something made a loud crashing noise in the apartment behind him causing him to slip while he was pushing off. With a yowl the large cat fell. There was no reaching the otherside. No making it to safety in one graceful leap.

Nope! He fell like a bag of flour, yowling all the way.

Mel’s tumble came to an abrupt halt and not in the fashion he had feared. He landed with a ooof and a surprisingly little amount of scrambling, the claws and lots of cloth really helped with that second part. The savanna cat didn’t really get a chance to catch his breath before he was unceremoniously grabbed by the scruff of his neck. “Oy! Hey! That hurts! Come on now! Wait, wait, wait…. My claw is stuck!!!” Mel protested at the manhandling and scrambled to get his paw unstuck from all the fripperies that were on this guys outfit. “Damn man! You have more tassels then a titty bar. Would titty bars have tassels? Why would they? What is a titty bar anyway? Is it a bar that sells titties? How much do they sell them for? And are there different flavor titties? Titties are birds right? Although if they sell them in human bars like that one show implied then I guess titties are drinks but then why would a drink have tassels?” He rambled absently as he worked on the claw only to crow happily when it finally came free.

“Ha! I knew I could do it! I’m not some furry burr that can't unstick myself.” He grinned brightly for a moment before his eyes widened and his mouth gaped open for a second. “Ooops… I mean…. MEOW!” He did it again! He really stunk with this whole ‘I’m a cat’ thing he had to do. Why did he have to pretend to be a civilian cat anyway? They didn’t get to eat really good food like he did and they didn’t meet neat people like he did. They didn’t get to fight dragons and monsters like heroes from storybooks. And best of all they couldn’t turn into humans with hands when they wanted too… granted neither could Mel but there were a few guardian cats who could so that totally gave him hope that one day he too could open a jar of peanut butter all by himself.

“Did you know you have a cat stuck to you?” Mel asked as he wiggled a bit in the grasp of his savior. “Attack? Was I attacking? Why would I attack? Your not a rat or a squirrel are you?” He frowned and twitched his tail in contemplation. “Did I hurt you? Oh gosh. Sorry about that! I was trying to get down cuz I got stuck and well… I apparently can’t fly.” He looked contrite and he really did feel sorry for hurting the nice man who kept him from splatting on the ground.

“You can put me down now, I’m pretty heavy so it can’t be easy to hold me up,” Mel crosses his eyes for a second, making a face as he squirmed slightly. “Did you know your hair matches your coat?”

Once Mel’s paws hit the ground he gave himself a shake, settled his fur down and bounced around until he was facing the cat and human. “Hiya I’m Mel, well Mlinzi really but everyone calls me Mel or Lin or Z or Linzi or Motormouth or dumb butt but I don’t get that one. I’m not dumb,” he paused for a second, his ears flicking back for a second. “Well I’m not bright but I’m not dumb.”

He trailed off and eyed the duo, finally picking up something. “Ohhhhhh! Oh I know you! Hey I know you!” He had been sitting down but now he bounced up and did a little dance. “Your one of those… um… uh,” his excitement dimmed a moment as he came up with a blank but he almost instantly perked back up and chirped out, “Asshats! Oh wait that’s not right. Hmmm. Evil? But you don’t seem evil.” He hummed again and contemplated the guy in his dark clothing, muttering, “it does too match.”

“Oh oh oh I know! Negaverse!” He chirped out only to come to an abrupt stop as it occurred to him that he had done got himself in a bit of a pickle. “Ah, well yes. Thanks for the save. You seem like a nice fella, you and the knee brace, but I guess I should be going…” he took a few steps back only to come to another stop. “Don’t suppose you have any food in you do you?”

Mel’s fur puffed up at the little cat’s snarl. “Damn girl! I don’t want your crepes!” He took another step back and was about to snap back, about how would prefer fish over some sweet a** thin pancake but apparently the human didn’t want to deal with two hissing cats and snapped at his companion. The barked order drew a slight hiss from the guardian cat even as a chill of apprehension zapped through him. He wasn’t dealing with just anybody… he was dealing with the negaverse. Best not do anything stupid… er. Stupider.

“Oh,” His fur settled back down as the man scowled down at him. “Thanks mister! I think I’m smart too.” He grinned back at the guy before sticking his tongue out at the little hissy cat. “Not college smart but I know things! Like I know that squirrels are just rats with fuzzy tails and that dragons require jumping really high to attack and that fish is the best thing in the world. There is also knowing which dogs will chase you and being able to spot the primo spots for sunbathing. Oooooo I also know where the best Italian food is in the city! They have a shrimp scampi that is practically to die for!”

“Sure! I also know a good pizza place and a there is a really good sushi place downtown. I know lots of places. There is the chinese place and the sandwich place and the prezzie place. The pretzel place is so good! Especially a warm soft pretzel fresh from the cooking oven thing. A little bit of salt and a touch of mustard and its nearly as good as tuna. Not quite since nothing beats tuna but its not bad.” He paused for a breath and frowned. He had just remembered something. Something really, really important.

He thought.

“There is something… Something I’m forgetting.” He mostly muttered to himself but it wasn’t like he was being secretive about it. “What was it?” The thought was like a whisper at the back of his mind, elusive and yet persistent. But he finally caught it and shouted, “My Shows! Oh nooooo!” He spun around in a circle, his head whipping around and around as he looked for a clock. “I’m sooooo late,” he whined before he took off down the street only to come to an abrupt stop a bit away and turn back just enough to shout back at the nice man. “Thanks again. Your nice, see you later. Bye!” He ducked back into the dark muttering, ‘I’m late, so very late’ as he went.