It was late night when Incanthis awoke from a bad dream, something that happened still from time to time despite the change in his situation. It was something that had made him unable to sleep so he'd quietly left the room he was sharing with the others, going to sit with the snaptrotters that were all being kept in the stables, unable to stay in the inn proper. He'd gone into the stall the little ones were being kept in, finding himself almost instantly swarmed by them, he felt himself relaxing a bit.

Sitting among the whelps he set to to looking them over, making sure that they were all doing alright during the time that they were without either Abie or himself looking over them. It was a way to try to distract himself from his dreams, but it seemed impossible to do even with a bunch of whelps vying for his attention. It seemed the more they traveled and the closer they got to Jauhar the more his dreams had been turning to the past. He knew full well that his father was gone, Issaly had told him as much, but that didn't completely erase the man's influence from his mind.

Issao had been able to easily make Incanthis question himself and the desire he'd had since he was young to be a healer like his mother instead of a warrior. Even knowing that though he found himself actually saddened knowing that the man had passed sometime during or after the time when Incanthis had been taken by some Oban warriors. He'd never had a chance to talk to him, never had a chance to show the man that he was able to follow in Etheriu's shoes, to become someone that took care of others. Not just people either, but animals as well, there was so much he'd like to show the man.

He felt that he should really go and visit the man's grave even though he held such an innate uncertainty about him. It wasn't as though the man would haunt him or anything after all, but it didn't make him worry any less. More over he felt that he should visit his mother's grave as well, something that he'd done often when he was younger, having missed the woman and her kind heart dearly after she passed. Not that he'd been able to really voice such thoughts when he was younger, having wanted so badly to remain strong for his siblings who were younger then he was. They needed him to look out for them because it wasn't as if Issao would go easy on them just because they'd lost their mother. He wanted a brood full of warriors to carry on his legacy and he'd likely have never allowed another mistake like Incanthis were he to have lived through the war.

While he didn't want to think about it being good that the man had passed because it felt too cold he was glad that Issaly had been able to choose his lot in life without the overwhelming disapproval of their father being turned his way. He'd chosen to be a healer just as Incanthis did and he was able to do so without worry. Instead he'd be able to go forward focusing on just the good that he could do instead of worrying that he was the 'weak link' in a powerful family. It was something that Incanthis was happy for.

If their mother had lived he wondered how things might have turned out. She was such a wonderful woman but compared to Issao it was obvious which of the two of them held greater sway over their children. Love was a wonderful feeling but almost felt fleeting when compared to the way that Issao could cut a person down with a look and a word. It was something that Incanthis would never do to his own children... not that he meant to have any of his own, at least not by blood. The idea that he might somehow bring forth someone with the same tendencies and cold heart as Issao, it was too much of a fear for him to even consider such things. Best that he didn't risk such a thing by allowing his blood to carry on to the next generation... though he supposed he had many brothers that might very well risk the same thing themselves. They were stronger then he was though so perhaps they could do better then Incanthis felt he could himself.

Leaning against the wall of the stall he set to petting the whelps more as they curled up to him, seemingly for the warmth he gave off. It seemed that they were getting sleepy now that the excitement of Incanthis's arrival was dying down. It meant that he didn't want to move quite yet, instead wanting to leave them to their rest. He'd return to the inn soon, not wanting to worry those who were sleeping within. For now though he felt content where he was despite the twisting paths that his mind was running races on. When it came down to it no matter what he thought of his parents, no matter which of them he preferred, they were both... gone now. He would go to their graves, he'd bring flowers, he'd pray to Seren that they were able to find peace in death, hopefully together if that was what their mother wished, and perhaps they were with Isolde, his sister who had passed as well.

That was a thought that caused his eyes to prickle a bit with tears, something he dealt with by tilting his head back before blinking his eyes rapidly. He wanted them to be peaceful, and he hoped the same for his brothers no matter if they were alive or if they had passed as well. He only knew of what had happened to Issaly, Isaris, and Isolder... though two of them he knew only from what Issaly. Their other brothers, their Uncle Atherio, he knew not what happened to them but he hoped that his arrival in Jauhar wouldn't lead him to more graves then he'd been expecting. He'd much rather he arrived to find only those he was expecting. Facing three of them would be hard enough after all. He didn't think his heart could take anymore then that.

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