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 Posted: Fri Aug 25, 2017 8:23 pm
Once dinner had passed and everyone had gone their separate ways, Avior had returned to the hallway, trying to figure out where everyone was. Most of the senshi who had retired to their bedrooms shut their doors, their voices whispers behind he barriers. Whether they were words of comfort or words of distress, he did not know, but they were alive and breathing just fine... Good. Despite the harrowing day they had it seemed like they were safe for now, and he was grateful for the fact that none of the more aggressive senshi started any fights. For now, there was peace.
In his wanderings, he happened to come across one door that was open, and from the doorway, he could see it was someone he knew... Someone he hadn't had the chance to talk to in such a long time... And someone he certainly missed.
He hesitated for a moment, nervous to approach is old friend after years and years of having been away from the city. What could he even say that would be appropriate for this situation they were in...? But he still wanted to talk to him... With the young man who was so kind to him so long ago.
With a deep breath, he knocked on the frame of the doorway, hoping that maybe, just for a little while, they could talk alone.
"Hey Remarque... It's probably not the best of times for reunions, huh...? But if you have some time, do you think we could talk?"
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Posted: Sat Aug 26, 2017 3:44 am
Remarque had kept his door open for obvious reasons; the most important was that he both expected and wanted company, and closed doors meant little in the way of communication. He was the only one in his room, despite the fact that it had two beds. His hands had been on his hips and he was still examining his room and everything in it. He seemed distracted, either deep in thought or just very focused on giving the room a thorough examination but the knock on the door frame was enough to earn his attention. He glanced over to Avior and recognition spread across his face instantly.
“Hey,” he greeted warmly enough, and gestured for the Eternal Senshi to join him. He turned away from the wall he’d been examining and grinned at the man. “Avior. Yeah, come in. Now’s as good a time for reunions as any, I figure, and right now I’ve got nothing but time on my hands. What’s on your mind?”
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2017 1:50 pm
Remarque seemed to be as warm as ever as he greeted Avior, who nervously took a step into the room. The man had been nothing but kind and friendly to him, even back when he was still a white moon senshi with no real goal or future ahead of himself. He supposed that's why he admired the older man so much.
"Thank you. As for what's on my mind... So many things, but it's so very good to see you. I don't think we've had a real chance to talk in years." Avior took this opportunity to closet he door behind him before going to one of the empty beds and sitting down. As much of an open person as he was, and as much as he did his best to let others know he was there for them, ready to provide any information or assistance they needed, just this once he would rather they wander away and allow the two men to talk one on one, without any further interruptions.
"You look very well, all things considered... I... well, I'm not quite sure where to begin, truth be told... Maybe... How are you holding up? It's been one chaotic day, no pun intended, but I think we came out on top of things."
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2017 6:41 pm
It had been some time since they’d last spoken but Remarque had just attributed it to Avior being busy. He did his best to always keep his schedule at least somewhat open to accommodate the schedules of the other Court members. “I’m doing well,” he said simply, shrugging off the compliment. As far as he was concerned, he always looked ‘well’. He had a reputation to maintain, and if he showed weakness—especially now—he’d let down a lot of people.
“Holding up just fine. Going to go explore the castle and see if there’s anything of interest lying around.’
He supposed that if there was anything important, it had been put away, but he could still hope that someone had slipped up, somewhere.
“This isn’t so very unlike when I first joined the Court. Sucked into space, no idea what’s going on, waiting for something to happen. Waiting to get home.” He didn’t seem too worried; this time, he’d at least been able to prepare before heading into the mirror. “This time, I have the resources I need to be more productive about it all. What about you?”
He was more worried about Avior than he was himself; he seemed like he had something on his mind and he intended to help however he could; they’d need to be strong for this, probably.
At the very least, it wouldn’t hurt if everyone was at their best.
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Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2017 1:01 pm
There was something that slowly but surely made Avior uneasy being around Remarque. He had only the faintest of memories of him these days.... Heck, if he thought back towards when he corrupted and what happened afterwards, it was all a blurr, memories shrouded in a dark and hazy cloud that was his depression at the time.
Even now, he hurt, though not as deeply as back then, and couldn't understand why he had come to see Remarque, and the question poked him more and more as the other didn't really talk much about himself. Which made sense, after all. Remarque, from what Avior understood, was busy, and so many people depending on him, what place was there for a rather flaky Senshi as himself?
Avior hated this feeling, feeling as if he just simply didn't belong here, but maybe that was the case. Maybe he wasn't meant to be around people like Remarque or Lestath or Acubens who all remained behind and fought while he left the city to 'fix himself.' That didn't matter though... None of that did. He forced a smile at the older man, and only nodded a few times as he spoke. He wouldn't speak of his issues or fears or pain right now. It was a horrible time for this... Once they were free again and back in their homes, maybe then he could speak what he was actually thinking.
Then again, he never was any good at that.
"That is very lucky for you then. I'm glad it's not as stressful as it could be... I suppose I just wanted to see how you were doing. I know people come to you all the time with their thoughts and complaints, I thought maybe this time it would be helpful if someone could come and listen to yours." At least this time, he could be here for that.
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Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2017 11:41 am
Remarque laughed softly and shook his head. “I’ve never been one to talk about complaints or thoughts. But the offer is appreciated. I’m just not good with that whole, you know, sharing, thing.”
He wasn’t really good at admitting what he wasn’t good at, either, but he didn’t seem like he was going to be beating himself up much any time soon. Instead, he watched Avior with prying eyes. He wasn’t intrusive, but he was constantly inquisitive and there was something about the other Eternal Senshi that was making him wonder.
He was concerned for all members of the Court—especially the ones he hadn’t had time to catch up with in a while.
“You look like you’ve got a lot going on in your head,” he said after a few seconds. “I’m a hypocrite, but if you’ve got something eating you up, you should get it off your chest. You got something going on…? I mean,” he shrugged. “I don’t mean to brag, but there’s a reason people come to me all the time.”
He might not have been particularly skilled at dealing with emotions, but he liked to think that he was at least decent with sorting through things.
Or being there when someone needed it.
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2017 6:25 pm
"Ah, no, I understand. I've never been all that good at it myself. I suppose we're just a pair of people who far too often keep our thoughts to ourselves, rather than burden other people with them. I do not mind it at all." This time, Avior smiled truly, leaning back onto the bed on his elbows. He could feel them brush and pinch the odd wings that clung to his back, but did not give it too much thought.
"You'd be right in thinking about what I look like. There's so much going on in my head that I hardly know where to being. Though, I'd admit, the first thing I wonder is, how are things actually going with our court? I... Well, when I left, I had barely been part of it for a month or two... Then after that I couldn't think too much and left. For all the new members we have here, I feel like I'm one of them as well." For a moment, he turned his gaze away from the older man to the ceiling, admiring the crystals that were there as well. He vaguely wondered if this system had a senshi, would she have been a senshi of crystals? Hopefully they had more taste though than the ones here.
There was the question of what exactly was on his mind, but he hesitated again... He seemed so unsure of truly speaking his feelings, lest the guilt for saying anything at all would eat him up. And yet the words came forth anyway, as if Remarque was just as he said, the kind of man who DID know what to say in the end. After all, it was true, so many did come to him.
"I suppose there's also the question of... Was I right to come back? More than one person has come to me, thinking I'd have knowledge of things, better understanding of what we, as the Dark Mirror Court, are, and what we do, but I admit... I'm just as lost as they are at times...."
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2017 7:24 pm
Remarque listened without judgment; he let Avior speak and then nodded. “If it makes you feel any better, you’re not the only Eternal Senshi who doesn’t know what’s going on. And if you ask Leto and I, even,” he shrugged. “We only know what we’ve seen or experienced, ourselves. A lot of this whole thing is just guessing, so don’t beat yourself up. We’re doing okay, our Court. But we sort of got the short end of the stick in all of this. The other factions? They come with guidebooks, teachers, systems. Which are perks, I admit, but there are a lot of drawbacks to the other things they’ve got going on.”
He shrugged, not going into that. That was a rant for another day.
“There’s nothing wrong with feeling lost. Right now, especially, we’re all feeling lost. But,” he flashed a confident grin. “We’ll get through this. And, maybe, we’ll be one step closer to understanding things.”
He was optimistic—or, just perfectly pretending to be; it was too difficult to tell.
“Here’s a question for you, though. You did come back. Why?”
It wasn’t accusatory, just curious; Remarque wanted to get to the bottom of it, to figure out where Avior’s head was—and figure out how to work all this out.
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2017 7:52 pm
"Truly? Perhaps then Sinope is right in thinking we were meant to just be record keepers. It seems awful to say, but... if we're without guidance then I suppose there's nothing wrong with just protecting those we can, and keeping the history among us... As small as we are, any small thing could snuff us out, I think... Just look at the crumbling mirrorspace. Had Altea not intervened, who would have been left to remember us, to know that we did our best to make any sort of difference... The very thought frightens me greatly. But you're right. We'll get through this. I know we are far more resilient than I give us credit for."
His smile faltered, and he thought about the question, a clear expression of shame taking ahold of his face. For a long time he pushed thought thoughts back, not wanting to admit he only returned for selfish reasons but... If Remarque asked it of him, why deny it? He was perhaps the only person who might understand, having dealt with and heard so many excuses before... And even if they weren't the closest people out there, atleast Avior knew he could trust him. Never once had Remarque given him a reason to doubt that."
"... Honestly, I'm not sure." Avior started out softly, sitting back up and folding his hands in his lap. "One day, on a whim while out in the mountains, I stepped into a mirror, into mirrorspace, and something felt strange... Almost as if it were tugging me back home... At this point, I think it was just guilt. Guilt for having left everyone behind to fight. Guilt for having been so weak back then and having fled without a word to anyone... Yes, it was something I couldn't control but it feels like an excuse... Even those who had lost so much more than I had continued to fight... I didn't want to be that person any more... But the whole time I've been back, I've only had people worry over me. From the fighting with the wraith, to the first incident in mirrorspace where we got these crystals, I've done nothing to help, only barely keeping myself from facing panic and distress... And I really am trying... But nothing feels like it could ever be enough to make up for having abandoned everyone.."
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Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2017 7:09 pm
Remarque scratched his chin thoughtfully. “Hard to keep records when you don’t have much to go off of. But I don’t think we need guidance. At least, I don’t need to be told what to do. We’ve got all this power, we just haven’t had the right opportunity to use it. Mirrorspace clearly has its secrets,” he gestured around. “Maybe we’re one step closer to understanding them. Maybe all of our efforts have led us here.”
Maybe they weren’t kidnapped by some weird space queen.
“But I’ve always prioritized protecting myself, my loved ones. And trying to find a way to protect the Earth. Or, at the very least, find a place we can go if the Negaverse winds up taking over. It’s the best we can do, and maybe we don’t have the same resources as everyone else, but we’ve still got more that we can do that ordinary civilians. I’m not going to let all my power, all these abilities, go to waste.”
He planted his hands on his hips and shrugged; his feelings on things still seemed fairly unreadable, but he presented himself genuinely enough. “I don’t know if I’m going to give Altea all the credit yet, or if I’m going to blame Mirrorspace. Something happened in there, but we don’t know what. Maybe we found a weak spot in Mirrorspace, or maybe she broke a part of Mirrorspace. I’ve been in places, where I thought it was the end. Places, where I fell for what felt like forever. But you know?”
He paused, and looked at Avior. “There was a mirror waiting for me at the bottom, and when I went through it, it put me somewhere safe again. For all we know, there was a mirror waiting for us back in Mirrorspace, before she intervened. But we might never know, now.”
Remarque reached over to clap Avior on the shoulder; he squeezed, reassuringly, and smiled. “Don’t feel guilty. I don’t think you should feel bad for people worrying over you. Just means they care, right? One day, you’ll return the favor. Don’t push yourself with more than what you’re comfortable with doing. Nobody really knows what they’re getting into when they first power up, and after that, there’s no ‘undo’ button. We just do what we can and hope for the best. But you don’t have a debt to pay, Avior. You’re not obligated to power up. You do what you can, when you can, and it’s good enough for me and it’s good enough for the Court. You didn’t abandon us, nobody thinks that. And you’re here with us now, when it matters, right? So don’t beat yourself up. You’re doing good, and don’t try to convince yourself otherwise.”
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Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2017 9:36 pm
"Ah..." Avior listened quietly to Remarque, unsure of how to feel about any of this... He wanted to be able put all of his faith into Remarque's words and assurances and even converse about his speculations, but... Nothing came out. Instead he only listened and nodded for a while. Maybe they would be able to find their way home soon.
The hand on his shoulder caused the slightest of jumps as his mind had been elsewhere, but was met with a kind and sad smile. If only it were that easy to shake off that feeling that plagued him with kind words. His own hand came up to rest over top of Remarque's, gently squeezing his hand affectionately.
"Thank you, Remarque. I'm going to try my best to do what I can and help all those I come across. I really do appreciate your kindness." He let go of the older man's hand, then stood, feeling better but... Still uneasy. There was nothing more to do about that right now however... It just wasn't the right time to face that anxiety... It never was.
"I should head back to Crocus before he starts to worry over me... I am glad that I can even try to protect others. Though there's not a debt, I still want to atleast rack up some good karma. Gods know we all need it at this point."
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Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2017 11:12 am
Remarque nodded and offered one more reassuring smile. “You do that. He’s lucky to have you looking after him. I feel better knowing that he’s got a watchful eye over him. So, you build up that good karma and keep yourself safe. And, get some rest, if you can. We’ll catch up later. Really catch up. I’ll buy you lunch some time, when we’re back home,” he promised.
He wouldn’t mind some good karma himself, but he wasn’t racing to earn any. Right now, he wanted to take it easy, think, and figure out a plan of attack—and make sure that everyone was okay. He was glad to see Avior, and truly glad to know that he was doing at least all right—and looking after Crocus.
The might not have known what was going on here, but at least he knew that there were a good number of people he could trust.
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