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 Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2017 11:48 pm
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Chiara sat at her desk, at her throne of a chair, the fingernails on her left hand tapping on the desk's hardwood surface. Her eyes tried to read the paper in front of her for the up-teenth time, the words never making it past her eyes. There was a serious roadblock on the highway into the blueblood's thinkpan, and no matter how she tried to push past it, it kept coming to thought, never leaving her alone for more than a few minutes. She sighed, closed her eyes, and massaged her forehead. She didn't want to think about the rodeblock, the thing haunting her. The blueblood got up and poored herself a glass of some Amber colored liquid. She stared into the drink, downed it, and poored herself another, not bothering with ice as she returned to her chair. The blueblood picked up the paper she had been trying to read and glared at it. Half way through the first sentence the words lost their meaning and the world seemed to swim, twisting into something else.
Quote: She was panting as she saw herself step back and examine the knocked out troll she had just set down. It was Elidae. She felt a surge of hot anger, her vision tinted blue as the rage so common of her race flared up. It wasn't just rage, it was hurt, it was shame, it was jealously, it was rejection, all rolling together into a ball of emotion she could hardly get a hold of. In this memory the blueblood breathed in, smelling the sent of fresh blood, of the shampoo the yellowblood used in her hair, the smell of her own sweat. She heard her voice, unfamiliar to her own ears with its sharp anger, say the yellowblood's name and slap her, waking up the unconscious girl. Elidae's eyes opened, confused at first. Then the yellowblood's usually doeey eyes widened with fear, pain, and recognition, which pierced Chiara sharper than any words could.
The blueblood found herself back at her desk, her face in her hands, eyes closed tight, trying to block the memory out. She was relieved to find herself back in her office, and her shoulders slumped as she took away her hands. As she opened her eyes and looked down at her hands she felt a sudden shock. For a second, it looked like they were covered in yellow blood and she recoiled from them. She could not flee fast enough tho, and another memory engulfed her.
Quote: She felt the blood on her hands, her heartbeat pounding in her ears, almost drowning out the screams, almost. She had something in her hand, something that felt heavy and powerful, a weapon. The world was heavily tinted in blue, and she felt unnaturally hot. "Elidae...." she heard someone say, almost lovingly. "Elidae do you like hurting me?." Chiara couldn't hear a response, the pounding in her ears was too loud. "But not enough, you don't love it." She said, sickeningly sweet. Her feelings of rejection came bubbling up. "You hate me just enough to rip away the things i love, the troll I love, but not enough to actually hate me..." She felt herself raise the weapon up high, her grip on it almost painful. "Well now? Now you won't be able to feel anything but hate for me," She felt her arm swing the weapon down, her voice becoming a scream, her vision almost blocked out in blue. "How about now Elidae? How about Now?!"
Chiara was back in her office, slowly coming back to the present. She looked at her hand, where the once pristine paper was held. Now it was a mess, torn and crumpled in her fist. She slowly unclenched her fist, trying desperately to calm her shaking hand. She smoothed the paper out on her desk, looking down at the rips her nails had made in the delicate material, rendering it unreadable. She frowned, she would need to get another copy from Ephias, this one was ruined. The blueblood picked up her drink, lifting it to her lips. She looked into the liquid, begging her hand to be steady enough for her to drink.
Quote: Chiara flipped her hair over her shoulder as she took a glass of amber liquid and took a drink. She could feel the floor vibrating under her feet as she walked over it, owning it. Chiara felt on top of the world. The drink burned as it went down her throat, feeding the fire in her gut. She loved the feeling, the feeling of being important, of power, of being the best troll in the room full of successful trolls. She sauntered through the crowd, smiling at all the trolls that had asked her for help and sponsorship. The blueblood's eye caught a hue of red and she felt her confidence grow. It was the troll she burned red for. The blueblood walked over to the redblood, a sly smile on her face. As she approached him she saw he was talking to another troll that made her bloodpumper beat, a yellowblood. The blueblood grinned, nearing the two things she hungered for. A full meal, red and black, how could the night get any better? Then the redblood and the yellowblood leaned into each other, and the world seemed to slow as they connected with a kiss. Her body went cold, and she almost flinched as she heard the boy call the girl a pet name. It was if the whispered name was shouted. It echoed in Chiara's mind, seeming to grow loud enough to drown out every other noise in the club. The blueblood froze. the floor, which had once felt like her domain, now fell out from under her. Her chest seemed to constrict in on itself, too small for her now swollen plump biscuit. She felt her heart drop down through the floor, through the the planet, so far it would never come back.
The blueblood was slumped down in her chair, her body too weak to even hold herself up. It was as if her plump biscuit was gone, and all she felt was cold, empty. She found herself curled up in a ball under her desk, desperately trying to keep the damn that kept her feelings back, up. She was alone. Left, just like when Eridia had left her, just as alone as she had been when she dragged Indica's lifeless head back to her hive. It was crumbling, the wall she hid her feelings behind. She could feel it weaken, break, and finally collapse. Sobs racked her body, stealing all strength, and the flood washed through her. She lay, curled in on herself, alone.
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