Welcome to Gaia! ::

A draw of her bow over the strings of her cello, eyes closed tight as she fought to forget. The events of the raid on the Rift had left her with many things to think about, none of them she truly wanted to. But she had to because she could never keep growing as a senshi if she didn't. Would only end up being who she used to be if she didn't.

A frown as she forced her feelings into the music she was playing, finding it easier to confront the feelings this way.

It was clear she was behind on how much things had changed, though she had picked up looking through the primer recently. The battles seemed worse then before and it was clear that the Senshi were no longer as put together as she'd thought them to be. Had they always been this way?

They needed to be a unified and cohesive group, not this mish-mosh of infighting. There were going to be a lot more casualties this way and the notion made her uneasy. The infighting alone was something she was struggling with and it didn't help that everyone had different views on how to handle the agents of Chaos.

Even she had a different view then most, or so it felt. But that was expected when not everyone wanted to save or work on unifying both sides of the war. Chaos and Order needed one another to survive, too much of one thing wasn't good usually. So why couldn't they find a way to cohabitate?

A cord went sour and brown eyes opened, frown deepening.

She was certainly one to talk at this rate wasn't she? After all she had blood on her hands now as well. It didn't make her any better then either side in this war. Not that it put her anywhere close to the blood the Negaverse had spilled. Her eyes closed and she struggled with the memories of the past, memories that had eventually lead her to where she was today.

Taking a deep breath, Melody closed her eyes and continued where she'd left off both in music and thoughts.

Though she hadn't landed the killing blow, nor been the one to push the Negaverse agent down the stairs, the two had been fighting. The saying went correlation didn't mean causation, just because they'd been fighting didn't mean she was responsible for the woman's death. It was just something that had happened.

Still she felt guilty for it, had she been close enough she would have tried to save her surely.

But then what of her friends? Or her own life? Had she not fought so hard there was no telling what would have happened to the other's she'd been traveling with. Hell her own story could have ended that night. It didn't mean she deserved it though.

Perhaps the worst part was she didn't know the woman's name! All she could refer her to was "the agent I killed".

"What a way to be remembered," she laughed, albeit sadly. "I can't even give you a proper memory or silent send off... I don't even know if you would have found the idea of this amusing."

She could do nothing but grieve for the loss of a life in this war except for maybe, hopefully, learn from it. And there were two lessons opened to her with that knowledge. She could either go back to being the passive, pathetic senshi who could do nothing. Or she could work past it and continue to grow.

She knew what option she was going to follow but it would take some time to work past the guilt.

Fed up with trying to play, Melody put her cello away and moved for the balcony to get some fresh air. A gentle wind blew, playing with her hair as it was left down and she found her eyes closing to enjoy the sensation.

"May your passing into the next life be peaceful, may your next life be better then the last. Though we were enemies your presence will be missed and I pray that peace and happiness will find you."