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 Posted: Thu May 11, 2017 9:33 am
(Backdated to April 2nd)
Slipping into her car Gwen finally let her barriers break. Everything she’d been holding back came forth in a deluge of emotions and tears. Anger, sorrow, regret, longing, loss, and a bunch of other emotions, needs and wants slammed into her as she sat in the bucket seat of her little red car. Tears poured freely down her face which was turning red from the onslaught. But she didn’t care.
She slammed a hand onto her steering wheel in anger and practically jabbed the key into the ignition. <******** it. She wanted to go home. She didn’t want to be out in society anymore. She needed to just curl up with pillows and blankets and say ******** the day. ******** Isaiah. ******** everything.
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Posted: Thu May 11, 2017 9:34 am
Curled up on the couch buried in a soft tan blanket and pillows to lean on, Gwen let the tears flow freely as she weeped for what she felt she had lost, and it wasn’t just Isaiah. She’d given so much of herself up for him, tried her all to make it work, but in the process lost herself. Again.
Sadly, as she sat there, her face practically shoved into one of the couch pillows, Gwen couldn’t find the reason to care about what she had done. About what she had told herself. At least when they were together she wasn’t alone. Why she feared being alone, she couldn’t quite tell, but it was there and Gwen hated herself for it.
It would be a terrible lie if she said she hadn’t loved Isaiah. What had been an interest or infatuation had blossomed into so much more.
Her shoulders shook as tears came renewed.
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Posted: Thu May 11, 2017 9:35 am
Flipping through the channel on the TV, Gwen let herself go numb watching random TV shows. Some were documentaries, others new stations, and some were terrible reality shows, but anything she did watch had the recurring theme to not have anything to do with couples or love. If either topics came up she promptly would smash a random sequence of numbers on the remote.
Numbness was a welcomed change to the tears.
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Posted: Thu May 11, 2017 9:35 am
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Posted: Thu May 11, 2017 9:35 am
“He’s a goddamn a*****e!” She flung the pillow across the room and it bounced off of the wall just missing her television. “Who the hell sets up a ******** picnic to break up with their girlfriend?!”
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Posted: Thu May 11, 2017 9:36 am
Crawling into bed, Gwen couldn’t help but note how the other side of the bed would never smell or house Isaiah again and she grabbed the pillow that would have been his and held it to her chest as knees came up to curl around it. Fingers fisted the alternative down as more tears came. Tears she had thought she had cried out.
She was so tired, drawn and exhausted but heartbreak was a cruel mistress that wasn’t near ready to relinquish its hold on the ginger. So, instead of finding sleep as any normal person, Gwen let her tears lull her into a fit fully slumber as she clung to the pillow and her body curled around it similar to the night when Isaiah had moved out.
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Posted: Thu May 11, 2017 9:41 am
Whether it was exhaustion or a lack of will to keep up the misery, Gwen eventually dozed off. Her body curled around the pillow she had been clinging to so desperately, her finger still pinching at the item but no longer clutching to it like her life depended upon it. Instead, she slumbered away, her hair a cascade of red against the lavender sheets.
She’d sleep away the pain, or try to. Tomorrow would go on whether she wanted it to or not. So, allowing herself this one night to vent frustrations and emotions was needed, but tomorrow things would need to return to normal. Or, as normal as things could be for the time being.
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