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 Posted: Mon May 08, 2017 6:18 pm
A newsroom-type setting where the exam commentators report on the action. It has a lobby with visual feeds from all of the fights, both gathered and projected via Toomegane no Jutsu [ Telescope Technique ]. The administration asks that any guests watching the festivities try to keep the rowdiness to a minimum.
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Posted: Mon May 08, 2017 7:02 pm
"Welcome to our ongoing coverage of the Chuunin Exams, brought to you in part by Goji's 'Little Shoppe of Horrors', serving delicious food for untold aeons. Stop by for food so delicious, it will shatter your mind and give you visions of the Elder Foods," a tired-looking man recited as the cameras turned on. "My name is Kisha, also known as Kii the Lively. I'll be your host today. My co-host, Ban, is running a bit behind schedule. We're eagerly awaiting the arrival of the first examinees to the arenas, and we'll bring you up-to-date coverage as events unfold."
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Posted: Wed May 10, 2017 11:40 pm
"Hello. Once again, I'm your commentator, Kisha, coming to you live from the Chuunin Exams. It looks like things are getting going out there, so let's take a look at the arenas our contestants will be fighting in."
The camera panned left and zoomed in on a crystal ball that was sitting on a table. In its depths appeared the image of a chain of houses suspended over sparkling, blue-green water.
"Here we see the Floating Village stage of the tournament. Designed by an artist from the Land of Waves, this area is used to test the entrants in conditions not normal for any of the Great Villages. This stage will play host to a brawl between a seemingly insane man, a pair of nearly nude twins, and a guy who looks like he's suffering from severe eye strain. It looks like the twins are taking advantage of the watery terrain early on, and it seems to have paid off because the crazy man's first attack failed. However, what he lacks in sanity, he makes up for in vigor, so we'll be sure to check back in with them soon."
The image in the crystal ball shifted to a cave containing a beach of its own that looked out onto blue, cloudless skies.
"Up next we have the Hidden Cave, an arena designed specifically for single combat, with little cover and relatively little space to run. Its designer is an ex-Shinobi from Iwagakure who has been occupying his time by traveling the world. This cave is modeled after one he found by a river near his old home. Just judging by the look of the thing, it was probably designed without any sort of structural stability testing, but that's their problem, not ours. Our combatants here are getting off to a slower start with a slightly melancholic air. We'll have more on this match as things get going."
There was the noise of some commotion off camera as the image switched to a panoramic view of a forest.
"Well folks, it looks like my co-host has finally arrived. Joining me now is Hanami Kanade, a junior journalist who started out in Sasagi City and managed to make it big, at least enough to co-commentate on this excitement. Anything you'd like to say about this next area, Hanami?"
"Thank you for having me, Kisha. Please, call me Mikan," the newly arrived commentator responded with a warm, professional tone. "Our next area is a Forest stage designed and constructed by a delegation from the Land of Fire. The plant life is all imported from a dozen countries across the continent that graciously offered to help provide for these exams, even though it wasn't necessary. The majority of the greenery used for this stage was dehydrated for transport, then partially rehydrated and treated to gain that nice green color our combatants are admiring so much."
"That's very interesting, Mikan. They dehydrated all that wood instead of transporting it alive?"
"The planning committee didn't want to stress living plants unduly by forcing them to adapt to this odd climate, and when the idea of using dead plants came up they also liked the thought of a flammable arena."
"They are a strange lot. Now, an arena of this size could only be used to host a large fight. It is for this reason that this is one of two areas that will be the staging grounds for our team battles."
"That's right! We've set two teams of two against each other in each of our large spaces. Speaking of which, let's move on to our final arena and the second of the two team battles."
The image shifted to an aerial view of a rocky waterfall dotted with greenery.
"Now, this area is one of my favorites. The waterfall is actually modeled after a little-known area on the eastern coast of the Lightning Country, while the surrounding foliage was designed and grown by the Ilex Botanical Society, a multinational group of plant-lovers. Interestingly, if the Forest stage was originally going to be designed by the I.B.S., but they were taken out of the running by the dehydrated plant idea."
"Indeed they were, and it's a real shame. Now, if I remember correctly, one of the participants in this fight is blind. How do we expect her to fare given the noise that will undoubtedly occur in these conditions?"
"Only time will tell, but I'm sure that team has worked something out. Judging by the look of things, perhaps she'll be guided by her teammates. Well folks, we'll let you watch the action for yourselves for now, and if you get hungry, please visit the Moderate Man Bar & Grill in Sasagi City or grab yourself a nice, refreshing lemonade. One anonymous tipster from the Wind Country swears by it as the best way to rehydrate on a dry day, and they would know."
"Bye bye, everyone! Be sure to come back and listen to the Mikan and Kisha Commentary Hour!"
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Posted: Tue May 16, 2017 11:21 am
"Aaaaaand we're back, and boy are our contestants getting into it! Kisha, the folks at home are currently watching which of the fights?"
"The Floating Village stage. It seems our Mr. Eye Strain has taken to working with the crazy man in an effort to take out the nudist twins. Quite an interesting choice."
"You can say that again! Personally, I would have allied myself with the twins and worn down the crazy man first, then taken the twins out when their backs were turned. I'm sure many of our viewers were expecting a free-for-all, but that's what the exams are for: to provide the twists and turns you don't expect!"
"Quite a contrast from some of the other battles. Let's go now to the forest, where it looks like things are finally getting underway. I was wondering if they'd talk it out and decide a winner that way, but there was no way we could be that lucky."
"What are you talking about?! No one would want to see that! Now, the opening moves were a feint backed up with the threat of a ranged fiery attack from Team Unki, followed by a cunning entrapment and solid defense by Kagerou and Yuna as they isolated the opposing Taijutsu-user from the rest of his team! Unki seems to have gotten desperate, launching a spicy-hot cloud directly toward her enemies and ally. How will this exchange turn out?! We just don't know!"
"I wonder why everyone uses needle attacks."
"Shut it, you boring nincompoop, we're going straight into the other team battle! Team Hatsu opens with Sanzengarasu no Jutsu to give themselves cover and immediately goes after Team Xion's Xion with a wooden spear! But, as we all know, dogs are good at dealing with sticks, and Team Xion's Kisuke's dog, Fang, took care of it with haste. Now it looks like Team Hatsu's Hatsu is launching a spray of water toward Team Xion's Xion, but... aaah, I can't watch! Cut away, cut away!"
The camera swiveled up and pointed at the commentators, both the tired Kisha and the very ornamental, kimono-clad Mikan. The difference between the two of them was made all the more pronounced by the look of worry on the latter's face.
"Are you going to be able to handle this?" he asked, looking as though he were simultaneously too exhausted to care about her antics and almost annoyed enough to throttle the life out of her.
"Don't worry about me!" Mikan chimed, instantly reverting to her usual chipper self. "Say, isn't it time for sponsors?"
"These exams are brought to you in part by Uomachi, a tiny fishing village on the coast of the Fire Country where you can catch the biggest, tastiest shrimp in the world. Uomachi: Home of the Jumbo Shrimp."
"These exams were also brought to you by The Forge, located conveniently in the Village of Artisans, Takumi! Visit The Forge for all your crafting supply needs, and for a limited time only they'll give a 10% discount on purchases of 100,000 Ryou or more!"
"Oh, will they?"
"It's a mystery! Bye-bye for now!"
The camera turned off, but it would take another moment for the audio feed to cut out.
"Don't lie to our viewers, and don't insult me on air."
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Posted: Sun May 21, 2017 9:28 pm
The feed started up again, but this time it showed Mikan only, a soft smile painted on her face. The ornamental kimono she had worn previously had been swapped for a much more demure green dress. Her hair was held up by a crown of wood that branched out in a pattern reminiscent of the branches of a fir tree. Kisha was nowhere to be seen, and it was eerily silent in the studio.
"Hello, my name is Hiruko Mikan," she began, her voice calm and level in a way that ran counter to her earlier demeanor, "this broadcast is to let all members of the Great Nations know that what is happening to your exams is a warning. As we speak, the island you constructed to host all the fighting is being purged by monsters of nature's own design, and soon UHV forces will return the land to its natural shape. Your single-minded domination of the military, social, and economic spheres of life must end, and your endless disregard for the natural order must stop. If you cannot do so under your own power, we will be forced to lend ours. Let this island serve as a reminder of what force opposes you. Should any of your children fall, sharpen your will on their graves."
As she wrapped up her speech, the camera panned over to the crystal balls used earlier to show the matches, which now showed various parts of the island being swarmed by monsters from the sea and skies. Two ships were docked and boarding evacuees. Hiruko Mikan offered some parting words before going completely silent, her voice taking on a graver tone:
"Embrace Evergreen. Glory to the World."
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