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 Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2016 11:55 am
It was a habit that Jamie wished he could break.
There wasn't a reason to be here, lost among racks of clothing he didn't need. Most everything in his closet still fit fine. What had been ruined by Other Ashdown hardly put a dent in the collection of t-shirts and jeans that made up his normal wardrobe. Yet here he was, visiting the department store, risking the chance he might be seen by someone as he dawdled through the girls clothing section.
It wouldn't matter, really. If anyone called him out he could tell them he was here for someone else; a birthday, early holiday shopping, anything would've made a fine excuse. Except Jamie was nervous, constantly on edge and absolutely positive that anyone and everyone would know, without a second thought, what he was fighting with in his head.
Jamie Delacroix wanted to buy the cute pink skirt he'd found for himself and no one else. Like every other time he'd been here, though, he probably wouldn't.Kolinaaaa hopefully this setup is okay!
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Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2016 12:23 pm
Fall had come and with it a growing interest in shopping. The past few days had been hectic at the store between the customers constantly needing something, managers pushing that they make sure the customers were happy to increase their customer service score, and the fact that they were understaffed (as usual) never helped matters. Why corporate thought they could get by in a store this size with a skeleton crew was beyond sense, but...it’s what it was. The workers all managed to pull through in the end. So, when a day had come that it seemed they were going to be spared the crazy crowds, Juniper was beyond ecstatic.
For a change she was able to work on putting out new merchandise. She shifted from the rail in the middle of the aisle to the empty racks she had made. With practiced ease and speed she set about getting everything organized and in place. She was obviously a well oiled machine in this task. She paused now and then to respond to something in her radio that was transmitted to the earpiece around her ear. Sometimes it seemed like she was answering a serious question, other times it was obviously nothing more than good humored teasing or chit chat.
It wasn’t until she was returning from her rail, arms ladened with skirts and dresses that her eyes fell upon the customer. She had a moment where she mentally sighed, knowing she’d have to pause her work to take care of him, but it was her job. So, flopping the merchandise down onto an empty arm of a rack, she rubbed at the hanger indents on her arm as she walked up to him.
She obviously worked there what with her business casual attire of a pair of dress pants, and purple gem-toned blouse that cuffed at her wrists with billow sleeves and was tucked into her pants. If there was any question that the attire may be for something else, she wore a lanyard around her neck and the cord running from her radio to her ear was another good indication.
She smiled at the young man, tucking a stray piece of long blonde hair behind her ear. She wondered if he was here on behest of his girlfriend? A gift, perhaps or even being asked to pick something up? “Can I help you with anything?”
total: 398
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Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2016 3:31 pm
This was it, this was the day Jamie died. It's not that he'd never been asked that question before, the staff at this store were relatively well-meaning in his experience and offered help on more than one occasion when they weren't swamped with other customers. No, this time it was only different on Jamie's side of the fence, it only mattered more because he had the skirt in hand. For the shortest of moments he'd almost gotten himself to walk with it, to take it away from the rack; it would've been a first. Would've been, but Juniper had stopped him before he could.
"I-I-I-" he stammered, dropping the cute, delicately frilled skirt at his feet, which only embarrassed him further. He was shaking when he stooped down to pick it up. "I don't, um, t-thank you b-but I'm okay..."
Could he slip out of this unscathed? It was already looking like a no with the way his cheeks were heating up.
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Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2016 4:19 pm
Juniper frowned a bit at the teen. She hadn't intended to frighten him as it was obvious that was exactly what she had done with his wide eyes and stammering speech. “Whoa, whoa. Calm down.” She shifted her frown into a small, encouraging smile as she bent down to pick up the frilly pink skirt. It was...well, not her taste at all, but she could appreciate the feminine nature of it. If she had been younger she would have flocked to this same display for the soft pink skirts, but she had grown past the pretty, pretty princess stage of her life. Holding the skirt by the hanger she held it back out to him. “No need to feel ashamed.” She remarked casually, hoping he would take the skirt back from her. “You’re not the first guy, nor the last one I am sure, to come shopping in this department.” She shrugged. “A friend of mine in college would have died for a skirt like that for his nights as a drag queen.” Juniper had no idea why the kid was shopping in the misses department, but she figured maybe making easy conversation would help matters. The last thing she needed, or wanted, was for him to leave here and possibly leave a bad remark about the store and the employees and drop her name. After all, her name tag was quite visible and she didn’t need her manager breathing down her neck after a bad review. Plus, the poor kid looked ready to drop dead where he stood and that bothered Jun more than her manager’s wrath. “I personally think it’s a cute skirt and you should get it. I mean, if that’s what you’re looking for and all. I may even have some purple ones in the back room that didn’t get put out yet.” She winked at him. total: 312
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Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 11:17 am
To be fair, she was trying. Jamie would've appreciated that she hadn't seen his awkward exterior and turned tail immediately if he wasn't stuck fighting the urge to crawl under one of the clothing racks to die. The way she spoke only solidified the sickness in his stomach that told him she knew when she actually didn't. Of course it was obvious, of course Jamie was a weird, ******** up kid who was supposed to be a boy but liked dresses and pretty things and sometimes didn't feel quite like a boy at all.
Even though he believed she knew, he had to deny it. There was no way he'd live it down if he didn't, because Jamie hated that part of himself. He hated the way it felt to be a stranger in his own skin, to feel disgusting for humoring the thought of being different, even for the shortest of seconds.
Staring at the skirt as she held it out, he said with obvious hesitation, "I-It's not for me... I-I-I don't know anything a-about being a d-drag queen." Part of him wanted so badly to take it, but instead he just stood there, fiddling with his hands. "I was just- It was just-"
No need to feel ashamed, she'd said. Unfortunately, he did.
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Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 12:34 pm
This kid looks like he’s about to have a complete and utter nervous breakdown. Juniper thought to herself as the teen continued to stutter through his speech, eyes wide and pupils dilated. He was like a scared rabbit facing a hungry fox and Juniper felt bad for him. Something, somewhere was messing with him and she had the feeling that she was just a trigger for whatever it was. So, one of the options would be to remove herself from the situation, but her bleeding heart wanted her to try and help him. It’s not unsurprising which option won out for her.
“I didn’t say it was for you.” She said calmly, a playful smile on her face as she pulled the skirt back from him since it was obvious he wasn’t going to take it. Not yet anyway. “I figured you were getting it for your girlfriend or sister or something.” She shrugged casually. “It’s a perfect gift if that’s what you were thinking about.”
Juniper was starting to get the feeling that the skirt was anything [it]but a gift and was possibly for himself. That sort of stuff never bothered her. She was very much a girly girl herself, but had opted to wear men’s clothing from time to time depending on the situation. It wasn’t a calling for her, more of a situational need, but she was also extremely open to letting people do what they wanted.
“Even if it wasn’t a gift, I say do what makes you feel happy.” She shrugged. “It’s ok being different and letting your heart guide you. Hell, if I didn’t follow my heart I would have never ended up where I am now. It’s amazing what letting passion rule you can do.”
total: 296
quote="saedusk"]
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Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 5:45 pm
If Jamie had kept his mouth shut, if he'd managed himself better, held himself higher, had the tiniest bit of faith in himself, he probably wouldn't have made his own plight as obvious as he did in that moment. The only things telling Juniper who the skirt was really for were his own words, his own defensive denials. He tried to breathe, but breathing felt like swallowing hot coals without even a drop of water to chase them.
"It's not..." he tried again, though she'd literally told him that wasn't her accusation only seconds prior. The way his voice wavered threatened tears and Jamie, unfortunately, was not at all adept at holding them back. Truthfully, he was a cry baby. "It's not for me..."
There they were, none that fell, but a few that pooled in his eyes and made them watery. It was so embarrassing. "It's, u-um, it's a gift..." he couldn't say for who, but he'd never be able to admit it was for himself. "A gift," he repeated and he held out his shivering hand for it.
There were people in this world who would accept him for who he was. He'd met them, more than one of them, but he simply wasn't ready to accept himself. He simply wasn't ready to put himself that far out there. Truth be told, if it weren't for her telling him to do what made him feel happy, he might not have reached out for the skirt at all. It was a start, albeit a slow one.
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Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 7:19 pm
Jesus christ. OK. I may be oblivious to some things but I think I know what’s going on here now. And so, Juniper decided she was going to do what she can to help the kid. Obviously he was uncomfortable and very unsure of himself. Hell, he wasn’t even allowing himself to just calm the hell down and accept that she wasn’t judging him for what he wanted. And, it was pretty damn obvious now what he wanted.
With a sigh she glanced around. There wasn’t a soul in sight, which stuck with the trend of the day. So, Juniper handed over the garb to him and to his perspective, probably looked like she was going to walk past him and away. Instead she stopped behind him, put her hands between his shoulder blades and pushed him towards the fitting room. There was actually a large stall that was mainly used for handicap people, but was available for anyone to use. It was that specific stall she wanted to nudge him to.
She leaned down enough so that she could whisper to him, to try and ease his already frayed nerves. “Look. You don't need to lie to me. I am not going to judge you. I say wear what you want to wear. It won’t hurt to just try it on, right? Especially if you’re the only one to see it.” She stopped with her nudging and pushing. This decision really needed to be his, but she hoped that maybe she had given him a bit of incentive to just try? “No one is here to see and if anyone comes along I can knock on your door so you know.”
total: 277
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Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 9:54 pm
Any sense of relief Jamie felt in the instant after she'd returned the skirt was gone the next second. From the look on his face, the one Juniper wouldn't see as she guided him from behind, it was obvious he was uncomfortable. Actually, he'd soared well past the point of simply uneasy, now he was downright horrified. There wasn't enough steady thought left in his mind to understand the well-meaning sentiment behind the brash actions she unfolded on him.
"B-But I-I-I-" Jamie stammered, tripping over his words the way he tripped over his feet. There was no real attempt to stop her, no move to run despite his distress. It had always been this way, even with the practice at taking initiative Other Ashdown afforded him, Jamie still found it hard to assert himself in social situations. It was just like school had been. Just like school.
There was a lump in his throat just above his heart and Jamie couldn't swallow it down.
Without any answer, he stepped into the fitting stall, everything about his movements robotic and stiff. He did so only because she asked him to, only because memories of his childhood made him compliant. It was easier this way. There was less retaliation if he did as he was told.
In the room he hung the skirt on a hook and did everything he could to avoid the mirror. He didn't want to see himself. Instead, Jamie pulled out his phone.Quote: Text to: Shilohi dpnt know wha t to do she wont leace me alone
Jamie was mere inches away from holding the skirt at his waist, from taking the smallest of steps. He didn't move yet, he couldn't, all he did was stare at his reflection. All he saw was the boy who, today at least, didn't look like him.
"J-J-Just a minute..." he managed after sometime had passed. Guilt carved away at him as he kept her waiting for an inordinate amount of time for trying on a single skirt and nothing else, but Jamie wasn't ready to come out yet. It would be a miracle if he tried it on at all, but there was, perhaps, still the vaguest of chances.
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Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2016 12:54 pm
Juniper was well determined that this would be good for the kid. After all, he didn’t need to be afraid to embrace himself and just do what he wanted. A little hard love was the way to go sometimes, at least that was what she believed. The young woman had no idea the sort of mental trauma she was inflicting on the teen as she ushered him to the fitting room and stood guard at his door. There was no indication to what was happening inside the room, whether he was bothering to try the skirt on, was crying, having a mental break down, or anything. But, the blonde did as she had promised and stood guard at the front of his door.
As expected, no customers even came to bother her. She had only seen a single stray soul wandering through the aisle but he looked like he was on a mission. She watched him as he headed towards the back of the store before turning her attention to the door at her back. It had been more than long enough to try on a skirt. Maybe something was wrong?
A hint of worry began to tickle at Juniper but she brushed it away. How bad could this possibly be for the kid? No one was here to see anything.
And then he called out to her and she released a small sigh of relief. He at least was willing to still say something to her. “Not a problem!” She said through the door. “Just remember, this is for you only. No one will know a thing, heck, I won’t even know if you really tried it on or not.” Maybe that will help him if he hadn’t tried it on yet?
Then again, maybe he had tried it on and was enjoying the view in the mirror? That thought made Juniper smile.
wc: 314
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Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 11:32 am
It was obvious Juniper was speaking, and Jamie was able to get the gist of what she said, but most of the words blended together into something largely unintelligible. No one would know, except he found himself thinking everyone would. She already knew and if anyone walked by to see him coming out of the fitting room with a skirt, they would know, too.
Everyone would know and everyone would hate him. It would be just like it was before. It had been hard to love himself before he had friends, but now- If they ever left him, he was certain he'd fall apart. He'd never learn to accept who he was.
Yet, what a long, convoluted train of thought... No one was going to leave him. In that rational part of Jamie still existing somewhere deep inside, he knew this. It was anxiety and fear that made his mind delve into completely irrational places.
Jamie wasn't going to try the skirt on. There was no way he could manage himself into that position as much as he may have wanted to beneath all the apprehension. What he did manage was much less, but for one who was riddled with fear and self-loathing and continuing to battle it this very second, it was something. Swallowing hard, breathing harder, Jamie was able to slip the skirt down to his waist, holding it there as he looked at himself in the mirror.
He liked it.
He liked it but he wouldn't allow himself much more than that. Only moments later he turned away, gathered the skirt in his arms as inconspicuously as possible, and exited the changing room.
Almost immediately, he tried to speak, "I..." Looking everywhere but Juniper's face, he stood there fidgeting. "I, um..." Jamie couldn't say he liked it. Not to her, not to anyone. "T-Thank you for your help." He showed no signs of leaving the skirt behind with the way it was tucked tightly in the crook of his arm, but he did look more than ready to leave.
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Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 5:00 pm
Time kept ticking by and Juniper began to wonder if maybe the kid was having a mental breakdown? After all, it really shouldn't take this long. Worrying at her bottom lip, she fussed with a nearby rack. With quick precision she manuvered each piece so it was in the correct size and color order. Of course, that didn’t take long before she was looking at the door again. Just as she was about to walk over and knock on it, she heard the click of a lock and the door eased open and Jamie stepped out, the pink frilly skirt tucked securely under his arm.
With a grin, Juniper walked over to him. “Well, do you think your girlfriend will like the skirt?” She tilted her head slightly, raising a brow, hoping that he’d catch on and continue with the charade. “If not, I can take it and put it back. I’ am sure you’ll find something else for her.” Juniper handed him an out, a reason to hand the skirt over if he didn’t want it, but also a reason to keep clinging to the material and go pay for it.
She hoped he chose the latter.
wc: 200 Total RP Count: 1797 saed9usk We can close this up soon if you're inclined. smile
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Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2016 6:38 am
It was difficult to say whether Jamie actually felt calmer or not with the way his heart thudded in his chest. Despite wanting to run, he hadn't been able to leave without addressing Juniper, without at least thanking her for her time. Deep down he knew she hadn't been trying to hurt him, but her customer service had been a bit too friendly for his tastes.
Still, from somewhere even deeper down than that, Jamie found the tiniest ounce of resolve. Where he wasn't able to look at her moments ago, he finally lifted his gaze from the floor. Any eye contact was weak and fleeting, but-
"I... t-think she'll l-like it," he tentatively replied, choosing to play along. His words shook, but maybe Juniper would be happy to know he'd chosen to muster the courage to buy the skirt.
Head dipping again, he added, "S-Sorry for the trouble, b-but... thank you..." Before it had been anxiety, it had been gratitude simply because he didn't know what else to say, but this time it sounded genuine.
With that, he shuffled away, headed for the front of the store, for the registers. He'd take one more chance today in buying the skirt and then he'd go home where he could retreat into his safe space to think about anything but what had happened. It was a start, though. Small and fragile, but it was something.Kolinaaaa we can wrap here unless you'd like to do one more post!
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