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 Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2016 6:18 pm
At some point halfway to the towns, she'd kicked off her shoes to feel the warm grass between her toes, thinking all the while how she'll never get tired of doing that again - and never recovered them. She didn't even notice until her steps made hardly any sound on the porch, but it was still such a comfort that it took more than second of staring to play a game of Find The Differences and know what was wrong. " s**t," Caroline laughed under her breath, clenching her eyes shut in a passing expression of 'I knew better'. Maybe she wouldn't mind. If she did for whatever reason, she'd figure something out all the same. That was never a problem. One knock on the door came on its own, and the rest (just a few, and friendly, not urgent) got the company of her voice, raised only enough to be audible without disturbing some important neighbors. " Hey America! It's Caroline, not anyone awful. I'll let you know now I lost my shoes on the way--" Pausing, she glanced down to add on a bit more disbelief that she'd really done that. "--but brought the appetite I said I would!"
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2016 6:44 pm
America opened the door wearing a simple white sundress and a pleased smile. "Gotta check shoes at the door anyway, Miss Caroline." And she almost tamps but down, but in the end life is very very short and she's never been shy anyway, so she moves to greet Caroline with a brief, strong hug before ppening the door wide, and ushering the other woman in. The house was still full of the long day's sunshine, all white walls and gleaming wood floors. It was a comfortable slice of a country home, simply decorated with no fear of color and pieces of quirk here and there. A line of endearingly ugly cat matryoshka dolls here, a tiny beer can that upon closer inspection has been turned into a miniature grill sits there, a toy monster truck, glowing with runics in the corner. It's not quite out of a housekeeping magazine, but it's also a far cry from what many might associate with a 20 year old girl's first house. But then, Deus has a way of playing with age, it's grizzled veterans often not old enough to legally drink the states. She leads Caroline to the kitchen, bright and spacious. "What can I get you to drink and how you feel about fajitas?"
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2016 7:43 pm
The hug was exactly what she wanted from the moment she greeted her, but would never have asked to have yet. It was accepted with a short aw, returned just as fiercely with a happy hum of pure contentment, and released in time to let her carry on as she wanted, because that was how these things worked. You had to let go when it was time to, not just when you decided. She was too lost in how nice that had been to say anything else about shoes, and might have stayed adrift in it if stepping into the house didn't captivate her in the best of ways. The kind that brought something nostalgic and a fond smile. "I love your house." It was possibly the most reverent she'd ever sounded. "So much. Like something out of a daydream." Especially the cats. There was no hiding how many times her eyes go back to the cats while in her line of sight. "Well." Her pause wasn't thoughtful; just there as an excuse breathe in the light of the kitchen and extend two fingers to count off her answers, which were given with a toothy grin. "What's on tap, and pretty damn good. Is that what I should be getting hungry for? Or one of those, you know, polarizing things everyone's got that make or break your thoughts on someone? Hope I passed, if it was."
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2016 8:20 pm
"Thank you," America chirrups, still proud of her home. It was a feeling she hadn't expected, coming back to stay. For months and months she'd felt so separate from everything she'd been and hoped for. Had intentionally distanced herself from it, feeling so toxic and terrible that even this was going to be twisted into something to question, something to hate herself for. Home had become a loaded word. But she came back and she sank down into it, even ghost pale and barely able to walk, she had been able to move through this space like it was hers. Because it was. And some quiet hours that was all she had to shore up her levees and steady her breath. It was enough and it was more than she'd expected. "It did come out of a dream, at least the first steps," America admitted. "Wonderland was really a...it was an experience, a lot of them actually. The whole deck of cards theme done up in technicolor." Opening the fridge, the girl announced, "I got some Corona and Bud, lemonade, sweet tea, and sodas, all sorts. But I don't test folks." And here there's a pause, "'Cept maybe Lawrence, but he don't count as people."
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2016 9:05 pm
A house that really had started in a dream. Caroline took another look around through the lens of that, holding the dream's context at arm's length for the moment. The pause itself snapped her attention back towards America, but the name spoken right afterward would have worked the same. " Nope," she scoffed, followed by a short bark of laughter. "Not people at all. But that's good...good that you don't. Though it's also good to be having fajitas! And Corona sounds good too, while we're at it with the good things. You've got plenty of good here." The ease of connecting all of the topics back to one point of good gave her some time for another thought or two about Wonderland, taken into careful consideration as she tilted her head just slightly to one side. The same that Mimsy favored when something sparked her curiosity, though neither of them knew it. "Was there a lot of good in Wonderland too? You make it seem like it, if it's where your house started. And cards in technicolor does too. Makes it sound nice." She'd barely stopped when she tacked something else on, waving her hand to dismiss the idea of it. "Don't, though, if it's anything but good. I don't want to make you hurt."
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2016 9:23 pm
The bottle is set before Caroline with a wedge of lime shoved into the mouth, and then America was pulling out the steak and vegetables and seasonings with a cheerful air. "The thing 'bout Wonderland was that is was a game, like a lot of things are games. You're the player, and a lot of what makes it special or fun or hard is what's in you and what's in the other players. There were the Queens and Alice and strange little beasties to fight, but the important parts were all from us. There was.." she laughs at the thought, "this table of giant desserts, where we were very tiny, and the game was to try them and they'd do things to you. But the best part was the peach cobbler. It was awful," she turned from her work to give Caroline a grin before returning her attention to sliving ingredients. "We ended up telling all sorts of embarrassing truths, and it should have been like...a thing to never talk about, with the ones you shared them with. To pretend never happened. But it was..." A pause and then, "Because of the affection I have for those to and theirs for me, I guess, it made it fun instead of cruel. Afterward it's something we shared, something we'll always share. Other pieces of it with other people, well Lawrence was there too, for one. So it wasn't perfect but it's still important and I wouldn't have avoided it, given half a chance." She shoots another look over her shoulder, and this one skips past Caroline and through the window, toward the house next door. "Wonderland seems special to you too," or maybe it was you two, "if you don't mind me prying."
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2016 10:47 pm
A lime was generally not looked at with the level of delight and adoration that Caroline gave in the moment the beer was set before her, but this was all so damn near perfect that she couldn't help it. She held onto the gratitude until later, but even tighter to her urge to offer to help. Another freedom you couldn't just take away when you felt like it. Maybe the hardest to remember. The joy over the lime lasted well after she squeezed it into the bottle and took a long drink, listening to America's answer. 'Game' made it click. Recognition flickered to life in her eyes, and the description as she gave it made perfect sense this time around. She shared the grin easily, without even meaning to, not sure if she'd panic or be relieved if secrets like that came spilling out. But the last bit made it fade to a smile that was more reflective, as wasn't perfect but it's still important hit the right home. "Thanks," she began, tipping the beer up for one extra ounce of courage before setting it down again. "For that. I was worried about some things, but that makes it make sense now--I think, at least. 'Cause if it was all about the people playing, the things important coming from them...makes sense it'd be Alice more than anything..." ... clink clink clink as her nails tapped the glass. "A long time ago." She stopped to exhale through a smile that was apologetic for a story she hadn't even told yet. "I was in love. Vanessa...that's her name. I felt invincible, and I had this plan. Lots of pieces to it, but the important part here's that we were gonna have a family. I found this man so the kids would be closest to siblings, and I got pregnant, then she did, and everything was so exciting. Picking out everything. There was this stuffed rabbit, and a hardcover of 'Alice' to go with it, all illustrated with the edges done in gold. Can't count how many times I imagined reading it to her. Got to give her the rabbit, I think. She wouldn't know--less than a day old. Aaand that's when it all went to hell." A muted sound came from the bottle as she pushed the lime all the way through the neck, her smile returning at the sound of it. "Found out he gave her the book a long time later, for her to read by herself. She was as alone as I was there. So it makes sense now, she'd maybe want someone who could take her to a world she wouldn't be. At least...that was always the appeal to me. What I wanted to show her too. Not about Alice herself; just...you know, knowing you only need to find the rabbit hole."
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Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 10:32 pm
She went quiet for a bit at that, considering the peculiar arrangement that family must've held for Mimsy growing up, why it might have been the sort of problem she'd have tried sciencing here, trying to find the solution even when things like having a child seemed near impossible. If she could find the solution, then the problem wasn't her.
And it hadn't been.There's something thick in America's throat as she heats the oil and begins to saute the vegetables. Peter was a goddamn miracle, and he couldn't have happened to a better person. "She and Robert got married, there, you know? And afterward, afterward lots of folks were scared and unnerved by it all, but it seemed like...she was able to become more herself." A huff of laughter follows. "There was a lot of things, involving self and selves, there. Maybe she figured out she was a good one after all."
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Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2016 1:15 am
With the back of her hand, she dabbed at one eye, then swept it beneath the other when she failed to keep its tears in too. Caroline never much liked the idea of holding in all of her emotions, especially ones that meant something. Ones like this just couldn't be trusted now to not get away from her and leave her chasing them for days. "I didn't." The stifled cry snuck out through her voice, cracked where it wore thin. "Didn't know that. But it's--I'm happy her being there let her have that. I did get to see a picture from...maybe Vegas. That wedding. Wonderland film probably wouldn't have anywhere you'd go develop it here anyway, huh. Probably develops in their tea." Then she laughed at the idea, sincere but oblivious to how dated it was, and the low hiss of the pan felt nice to hear the short laugh fade into, like all of this combined to make another something good. "It's different though," she continued, idly rolling the heel of the bottle in a circle, "knowing which you are, when what other people know doesn't match up. I don't think it ever matched for her in our last life. And she thinks a lot of you - I do too, really do, but not fair to say it's like hers. It's new, how she talks and is to you. And just from what little I've seen." A memory of their old neighbor tried to surface. She snuffed it out with a panic and promise of tending to it later. "Anyway. Just trying to say thanks for noticing who she really was. I'm proud she got there, but I'm proud of you too. Proud and grateful."
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Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2016 7:19 pm
Ducking her head, America tried to hide the shock of hearing that phrase, in such a way, from such a person. Her posture, normally so straight and proud, hunched in a bit over the stove, as if trying to make herself a little smaller in the wake of strong, unsure emotions. Halting, she adjusted back, trying to put a smile on both face and voice when she managed to respond with a quiet, "It's nice you think so." It is nice, it's so ******** nice, and she just wants to sink into those words like a big old bathtub, til they cover her over and mute out the Great Big Everything Else. "There was a walrus bartender, you'd get drinks in exchange for memories, and wherever I went there would be a sort of theme music, just for me." As she cooks, America describes more of Wonderland, finding room to relax in the memories as opposed to the sudden, desperate child she so easily became at four simple words. She liked the weddings best, describing each with a different fondness, voice tumbling over the odd little items and cakes and rings like well-worn treasures, often handled with fondness. By the time she's finished and the lines of her move with the certainty of home and comfort and this is okay right now, the food has traveled toward the table. "Sometimes, you'll hear stories of all the...battles, and strange happenings that folks get hit with. And sometimes well...I think, that's awful. I'd never want to go through that. But y'know? There's magic." And despite everything, all the awful, horrible things and the weight of guilt and lives, there's a bit of wonder in her voice when she says it.
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