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 Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2016 5:11 pm
Mid February 2016 There was a method to Lovely’s madness when it came to buying a King sized bed for him and Ilian to share.
He would, however, admit to only one of its two purposes. The first was as he’d said before, that he would rather share a large bed with Ilian and be able to spread out over it when Ilian was gone than have to cram himself onto another twin bed all the time.
The second reason, the one that would never be given voice to, was that he enjoyed the warmth of another body next to him. To himself, he insisted this wasn’t a reason at all because the bed was big enough for them to each have enough room without touching one another. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you looked at it), his intentions didn’t quite play out the way he meant them to.
Somehow, even if he fell asleep as far away from Ilian as it was possible for him to lay without rolling off the edge, Lovely usually ended up waking up on Ilian’s side of the bed.
With Ilian still on it.
Kind of like this morning, He woke up on his stomach with an arm thrown over something warm and solid, and a mouth very close to his ear, breathing into it.
Lovely meant to pull away at first. He opened his eyes to look at Ilian and was tempted to jab him in his half healed ribs, but he resisted. Instead he sighed, slipped his eyes closed again, and pretended to sleep a little longer so he could spend some time soaking in the warmth.Ilian did not understand the point of getting a large bed that could barely fit into the tiny apartment bedroom, when having two separate beds was perfectly fine. Especially since this was Lovely they were talking about sharing a bed with. It wasn’t as though Ilian had never shared a bed before. He preferred to share a bed with Sorin, or even Jericho, but that had also been when they were younger and could both fit onto a twin bed without much issue.
He would admit that stretching out was nice, especially as his limbs continued to grow longer, and now with his broken arm, it was easier for him to get comfortable. Sharing a bed with Lovely still took some getting used to, especially when it wasn’t him who initiated the sharing.
So that morning, when he finally woke up to Lovely’s arm over him, and Lovely’s face closer to his own, he felt himself flush red, but didn’t move since he didn’t want to wake Lovely up.
Ilian had gone to bed before Lovely even came home. It was a little strange for Lovely to have a job after being a pampered, spoiled brat, for all intents and purposes… But here he was… taking care of Ilian as he recovered from his ordeal in January, and making sure the bills were paid.
He shifted a little on his back, his good hand reaching up to place on top of Lovely’s arm over his chest. He was warm, at least. He liked how it felt, so if he could keep him there a little longer, that would be nice.Lovely felt Ilian waking up. Ilian’s breathing didn’t come as deeply, and he shifted on his back. Not to mention Ilian’s hand on his arm. That was weird. Kind of intimate. Which was.... well, weird. Lovely was a little uncomfortably by it. He almost pulled away to put some more space between them, but he decided not to because he didn’t want Ilian to know that he was already awake.
Plus, he was tired. And sore. It was Saturday. The day before had been truck day, which meant he’d spent it lifting heavy boxes and pushing heavy racks and carts around. He didn’t mind the work, but he still wasn’t used to it. He didn’t quite have the arm strength yet. The muscles of his upper arms burned, and the underlying concrete floors of the store were unkind to his feet and knees.
He’d be perfectly happy staying in bed and sleeping all day. He didn’t know what time it was since his phone was on the bedside table and he didn’t want to reach across Ilian to grab it (he wouldn’t exactly be able to pretend to be asleep at that point). He couldn’t judge by the light coming into the bedroom either, since the window backed up into the side of a hill, leaving the bedroom pretty dark without a light on.
Lovely suspected, though, that it was close to nine or ten. Way too early, in his opinion, to be up on a Saturday.
He remained very still, his head close to Ilian’s shoulder, and his arm over Ilian’s chest. He kept his mouth open so he could breathe through it since he knew that was how he tended to breathe when he was asleep, and he hoped Ilian didn’t notice that his breathing wasn’t quite as deep as it should have been.Lovely was more or less a sound sleeper, thank goodness. He didn’t snore and there were a few times in which Ilian had to make sure that Lovely was still alive and just breathing softly when he was sleeping. But he could also tell when Lovely wasn’t asleep. Lovely’s arm felt a little tense on top of his chest, and his breathing wasn’t as deep as it normally would have been.
Still, instead of bothering him, Ilian shifted to slowly push Lovely’s arm off of his chest, and shifted so he could push himself up onto the bed. He whimpered softly as he did so. He wasn’t in as much pain as he used to be, now that his arm and ribs had about a month to heal, but they were still broken and needed about half a month more to be to the point where he didn’t need his cast.
He sat on the edge of the bed for a little while, looking to see where he’d thrown the small blanket he liked to put around his shoulders in the cold morning air, seeing as pulling on a sweater was a bit more difficult with his arm being like it was.
His stomach growled uncomfortably, and he remembered that he’d gone to sleep without eating anything. He supposed that was the first thing he needed to do, and stumbled his way out of the bed to head towards the kitchen.Lovely held back a disappointed groan when Ilian moved his arm (and he told himself he wasn’t disappointed, because it would be weird if he was). He kept himself quiet and let Ilian push himself up, settling into the warm spot Ilian left on the mattress.
Still, he was pretty sure Ilian could tell he was awake, so he grumbled, “What the ******** hoped it sounded like he was questioning what they’d been doing lying so close together and not why Ilian had disturbed his peace by moving.
Even so, Lovely didn’t bother getting up yet. He kept his eyes closed and listened to Ilian moving around. He had every intention of lying there for a few more hours (at least), because it wasn’t like Ilian needed him or anything. Ilian could get by fine on his own now, even if his ribs were sore and his arm was pretty useless. It wasn’t like Lovely had to wait on him hand and foot or anything like that.
But Lovely’s stomach grumbled too. One thing about having a job was that he exerted more energy than he was used to, which meant he was often hungrier than he’d been before.
Now Lovely did groan. He pushed himself up and sat there trying to will himself to stand. When he could manage that, he pulled on a hoodie he bought with his employee discount and shuffled his way after Ilian into the kitchen.
“It’s too early,” he whined, even though the clock on the microwave said it was ten after ten.Ilian heard Lovely’s grumbling, but made no comment of it. He felt gross and hungry and wanted to sleep longer, but knew he needed to get up otherwise he wouldn’t be able to sleep that night.
Sure enough, he heard Lovely start to shuffle around after him, but he ignored the other for the time being. Right now he was trying to get something for himself to eat, and if Lovely wanted to eat the same thing, then that worked too.
“Go back to bed, then,” he said as he struggled to grab the cereal box off the top of the fridge. He set it down on the counter once he grabbed it, and pulled open the fridge door so he could pull out some milk as well.
“Sorry if I woke you. I know you were out late,” he said, finally glancing over his shoulder at the other. It was still something he was trying to get used to. Living with Lovely, that was. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, just… something he wasn’t quite used to yet.
“How was work?” Ah yes, nothing to start the morning than with small talk that Lovely probably had the same answers to.
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Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2016 5:13 pm
Lovely didn’t even bother lifting a hand to hide a yawn. He’d become that classless.
He eyed the table and considered sitting down on one of the benches and having Ilian fetch him something to eat, but then Ilian went for the cereal and Lovely didn’t know if a bowl of Fruit Loops (or whatever the off brand was called) was going to be enough to stave his hunger. He stared at the box for a few moments to contemplate his options. Eventually, he decided he didn’t want his stomach grumbling again two hours later.
“Work was work,” Lovely said. He moved around Ilian to reach into the fridge, pulling out a carton of eggs. “I had to stay late because the truck was huge.”
Well, he didn’t have to. He chose too, because he liked getting a nice paycheck so he could buy himself nice things. Like clothes. And an Apple TV.
He brought the carton of eggs to the stove and started scrounging around in one of the lower cabinets for a pan.
“I’m making a ham and egg sandwich,” he said. “Do you want one?”
He happened to think it was very nice of him to ask. He could have easily left Ilian to his cereal.
It was very nice for Lovely to ask. Ilian was almost too surprised to answer for a moment. Not that Lovely was horrible, just… obviously selfish and didn’t like doing things for other people.
Except he’d done a good job with making sure that Ilian was fed and didn’t hurt himself trying to go through normal tasks while recovering.
“Uh,” he hesitated, looking at the cereal box and hearing his stomach grumble again. “If you don’t mind,” he said, knowing he probably still sounded a little surprised. A ham and egg sandwich would definitely be more filling, and he couldn’t exactly make the sandwich himself with one hand. Well, he could, but it would be difficult.
“What time did you get home?” he wondered, opening the fridge to put the milk back, but pulled out the butter and ham to set on the counter for when Lovely needed it. He then went to get four slices of toast to put into the toaster oven they had a couple at a time.
Lovely got to work on the eggs. He didn’t ask how Ilian wanted them. He was just going to scramble them because he was of the opinion that scrambled eggs made the better sandwich. Ilian could just deal.
“I don’t know, nine or ten,” he said, setting the pan onto one of the burners and cracking a few eggs into it once he’d turned the stove on. “I was supposed to get out by seven, but I didn’t end up leaving until eight. Then I missed the ******** bus and had to wait thirty minutes for the next one, and I stopped by the store to get more ******** toilet paper because we’re almost out.”
He didn’t know how two guys used so much toilet paper since all they did with it was wipe their asses, but it happened.
Yawning again, Lovely used a fork as a whisk once the pan heat up. He was getting better and better at this cooking stuff. He didn’t even mind it all that much. It meant he could make things how he liked them.
Lovely heated up a few pieces of ham in another pan. It wasn’t great ham, just the packaged stuff they could get for cheap, but it wasn’t the nasty store brand stuff that tasted slimy, and it would heat up well enough.
He waited for Ilian to hand him the toast, then slapped some ham on one piece and scooped some eggs over top before putting the second piece of toast on. He used a paper towel for a plate so he wouldn’t have to worry about any dishes, handing the first sandwich to Ilian.
“What did you do all day?” he asked in return, because apparently that was how small talk worked.
Ilian took the sandwich when it was handed to him, and moved over to the table to sit down. He picked at a couple pieces of egg that had fallen off the bread, but mostly waited until Lovely was finished with making his own sandwich before eating.
“I talked to Trish about borrowing her car to take the test to get my drivers’ license,” he said, getting up and going to the fridge to pull out some apple juice they had. He wanted to save the milk for when they actually needed to use it, but if Lovely would prefer one over the other, then that was fine with him.
“She said it was fine. I don’t know if they’re going to accept me using someone else’s car. I can’t get a loan without having a license, but I can’t get a license without having a car and can’t have a car without insurance, and can’t get insurance without a license…” he said, letting out a long suffered sigh at how complicated things were. It was possible to do, of course, but he needed someone to vouch for him and let him drive their car.
“And I won’t really be able to until my cast comes off. So that’s going to be a little while from now,” he explained, pouring the juice into a plastic cup. The first cup was fine, but when pouring the second, he lost his grip on the large plastic bottle and it hit the counter and bounced. He tried grabbing for it with his other hand, but the sudden weight on his broken arm sent him reeling, and he dropped to the floor with the plastic jug in pain. <********,” he hissed, pushing the jug away from him as he cradled his arm. He’d stopped it from pouring out all over the floor, but now his arm was aching as he crouched on the floor, forehead resting against the bottom cabinet drawer.
Lovely listened to Ilian’s spiel about his licence but found that it was really hard for him to sympathize. He hadn’t had to go through any of that crap when it came to getting his licence or a car. The licence he got easily because he could practice with Dorian, and the car had just been handed to him.
He wondered if his inability to really understand the hardship made him a shitty human being.
He decided he didn’t care. Instead, he thought about how much he missed his car.
“I don’t know how you expect to be able to afford a car payment anyway,” he grumbled as he sat down and started eating his sandwich.
Of course, Ilian had to get up and fumble with the apple juice. Lovely sighed, set down his sandwich, and went over to pick the juice up off the floor. There was a bit of a puddle of juice, but it wasn’t a lot.
He gave Ilian’s leg a gentle kick (or as gentle as he was able) and said, “Sit down. I can get the ******** juice. Hurt your arm and you’re just going to have to keep it in the ******** cast longer. And then I’m going to have to keep taking care of your a**. And you’re going to have to deal with me being a b***h. So… it’s really in your best interests not to do stupid s**t.”
Lovely poured the second cup of apple juice, put both cups onto the table, and grabbed a paper towel to soak up the puddle on the dingy linoleum.
Ilian bit back the groan of pain as he slowly stood to his feet again and made his way to the table. He felt useless and found that he was surprised that Lovely did as much as he did to keep things together in the apartment while he was healing.
He felt bad, of course. He knew Lovely wasn’t really the type to clean up after other people, and probably not even the type to clean up after himself if he didn’t have to, but he appreciated it none the less.
Once he’d sat, he went to working on his sandwich, being careful to not drop too much out of the bread since he only had one hand to use to keep it together.
“Thanks,” he mumbled guiltily when Lovely made his way back to the table, although it sounded like a pout as well. “I can afford maybe ten thousand for a car… It would be about two hundred dollars a month. They can make my payments come out of my account bi-weekly when I’m paid, so it should be easier to budget,” he explained, although he knew he wasn’t planning on getting something for a full ten thousand if he could help it, but he knew the cheaper the car, the higher the insurance was going to be.
“I can clean that later,” he offered, watching as Lovely went to soak up the juice he’d spilled.
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Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2016 5:18 pm
“And I can clean it now, so shut the ******** up and deal with it,” Lovely said. It wasn’t like it was hard to stick a paper towel on the ground and wipe it around with his socked foot.
Except the toe of his sock got a little damp when the juice soaked through, but whatever.
He threw the paper towel away, then put the juice back into the fridge and went back to the table, chugging some of his juice before returning to his sandwich.
“You need a better job,” he said, because he couldn’t imagine getting a car for as low as ten thousand dollars. Just the thought brought horrific images into his head, of cars that smelled like death, had non-functioning heat and air conditioning, or were well on their way to falling apart.
What if it didn’t have heated seats? Or a jack for his iPhone?
Plus, it would have been used. Who even knew what the last owner would have done in there.
“You always smell like grease,” Lovely complained.
Then he paused, because he didn’t want it to seem like he went around sniffing at Ilian all the time.
“Not that I make it a ******** habit to smell you or anything,” he amended. “It just… reeks from you.”
Ilian gave Lovely a strange look at his comment, the pain in his arm settling enough for the moment. “Sorry,” he said half heartedly, “You always smell like dust and metal from touching those hangers.”
He knew he smelled like grease all the time, but he also had a job, so that was nice. No, it wasn’t the best job in the world, but he would feel guilty for leaving after such a short time there. Well, half a year wasn’t too short, but how was that going to look to other employers?
But that wasn’t something he wanted to worry about at the moment. Instead, he continued to eat his sandwich, grateful for Lovely to have made it for him.
“Now I just smell from not being able to shower with this damn thing,” he complained, eyeing his cast as if trying to make it feel bad. “I’m sorry you’ve been stuck helping me… I’ll make it up to you, sometime,” he promised, although very aware that Lovely could just stop helping him at any time if he wanted.
Ilian hadn’t had a chance to bathe for a day or two… so he was sure he didn’t smell all that great, and he felt greasy and gross. But he would worry about that another time.
Lovely frowned like he was offended when Ilian made a comment about how he smelled. Surreptitiously, he brought a hand to his nose and gave it a sniff. He forgot to wash them before bed the night before, so they smelled like hangers, just as Ilian said.
He grumbled under his breath unintelligibly and went back to eating his sandwich.
“If you want to take a ******** bath, take a ******** bath,” Lovely said, taking a few larges bites of his sandwich. He sipped juice in between.
He’d been helping Ilian wash his hair for weeks now. Usually he insisted Ilian bathe at night so he didn’t have to rush in the mornings before work, but since it was a Saturday…
Lovely wondered if it was weird that he’d gotten used to washing Ilian’s hair for him. He was just doing it to be… nice… which wasn’t really like him at all, but it wasn’t like he had much choice in the matter. Ilian didn’t have to let him stay here, so Lovely figured he should at least try to help out, that way when Ilian got mad or annoyed at him for something else, Ilian’s first thought wouldn’t be to kick him out.
Lovely yawned again and stretched when he was done eating, getting up to toss his paper towel in the trash can. He chugged the rest of his apple juice and put the cup in the sink to worry about the next time he felt like doing dishes, which would probably be the next day.
Hey, at least they got done.
Ilian wondered if it was weird that Lovely of all people was the one helping him bathe and make sure he was fed. He supposed it worked out since he was the one living with him. Jericho had his own issues to worry about, so he couldn’t expect him to waste his time with him. And… well, that was about the only friends he had.
He finished with his juice and sandwich, following Lovely’s example of tossing the paper towel and putting the glass into the sink. He tried not to be too surprised whenever Lovely did the dishes or cleaned up after both of them, but it still surprised him every now and then.
Ilian didn’t bother with asking if Lovely was sure about him taking a bath then, knowing that he would just fuss at him. So instead, he made his way to the bathroom to turn on the water, and then struggled to get his shirt and pants off. He pulled the trash bag he’d kept in the bathroom over his arm to protect his cast, and he’d been using a washcloth to make things not as… indecent for Lovely when he helped.
The water was nice, and Ilian was quick to settle into the water and waiting for Lovely to come in and help him, washcloth covering himself so that he wouldn’t offend Lovely somewhat prudish nature.
Lovely insisted he was not a prude. The more he washed Ilian’s hair, the less he cared about things like being decent.
Which he proved by coming to stand in the doorway before Ilian even stepped into the bathtub.
“Just go ahead and wash up,” he said, stepping up to the sink. “I’ll do your hair when you’re done.”
Because he had things to do, too.
Like brushing his teeth. And washing his hands so they didn’t smell like hangers anymore. He bought nice smelling soap specifically for that purpose. He would rather his hands smell like Juicy Georgia Peach instead of metal.
Then he spent some time picking at his face, which he never used to do. Ever. Because his mother told him not to. But since he was mad at his family and didn’t want to do what they told him to anymore, he started doing s**t just to spite them. So he popped pimples. And he enjoyed it. There was really nothing quite like the sweet release of pressure from an expertly popped zit.
He made sure to wash his face after, though. He wasn’t a complete heathen when it came to hygiene.
After, he sat on the toilet and waited for Ilian to finish up. When he did, Lovely turned on the tap and shoved Ilian’s head under the warm water to wet his hair. He tried to be gentle, but gentle for Lovely wasn’t what people usually thought of when they thought of gentle. It was just slightly less forceful than he usually was.
Ilian did what he was instructed to do, washing himself as much as he could without the use of one arm. It made things a bit difficult but he thought he managed okay. He didn’t exactly like needing help doing simple things like washing his hair, but he was getting used to the idea of not being so stubborn and actually asking for help when he needed it.
That didn’t mean he had to like it, though.
“Ouch, careful,” he hissed as Lovely shoved him under and he caught a face full of water. He jerked his head up, narrowly missing the faucet and wiping the water out of his eyes. Still, it was better than having to try and do it by himself.
He waited until he was sure Lovely wasn’t going to accidentally (or purposefully) drown him, and dipped his head back under the water once more.
“You surprise me sometimes, you know,” Ilian admitted as he kept his eyes closed for Lovely to wet and wash his hair for him. “You weren’t always like this… I always thought you hated me.” Which, he supposed, was a little harsher than he meant. Lovely had been his rival, but his attitude said he hated him.
Now, it was even more confusing. They stayed in the same apartment, slept in the same bed, shared meals, and Lovely washed his hair when he wasn’t able to. It was… nice. But also very strange. He was waiting for something to happen to change it all, and then he would be on his own again.
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Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2016 5:20 pm
Lovely rolled his eyes but let Ilian wipe at his face. Then he went back to wetting Ilian’s hair a little less savagely.
“Who the ******** ever said I hated you?” he asked.
Not that he really wanted to admit he might actually like someone. Especially if that someone was Ilian. Or anyone really. But whatever. He was capable of liking people and being a decent human being, he was just a little bit picky when it came to who those people were. Ilian passed because he played the piano well and could sing good and put up with Lovely’s s**t.
And he was letting Lovely stay in his apartment.
That was cool of him.
“I wouldn’t wash your ******** hair if I hated you,” he pointed out.
He grabbed the bottle of shampoo and squirted some onto the top of Ilian’s head. It was cheaper shampoo than he was used to, but thankfully not the cheapest out there. And it smelled nice. Rosemary and mint. He worked it into Ilian’s hair as gently as he could before sticking Ilian’s head back under the faucet to wash it out.
“I wouldn’t have ran away from home and stayed in your apartment if I hated you.”
Ilian held onto the side of the tub as Lovely worked on his hair, not because he didn’t expect him to be gentle with him and carefully rinse out the shampoo, but because he wanted to be able to help get himself out of the water when needed.
“You acted like you hated me. And it’s my fault you’re stuck in the Negaverse,” he pointed out, keeping his eyes closed so the shampoo wouldn’t get in them. If it wasn’t for him, Jericho and Lovely would have had normal lives and not had to worry about the Negaverse at all.
“You never really explained why you ran away from home. Like, I know why, but… I don’t know, it was kind of vague. You didn’t like that your brother was telling you what to do, so you came here? Even though I wasn’t? And you were okay with the fake boyfriend lies?” he wondered, letting go of the tub for a moment to wipe at his face again.
“It’s just… not like you… You’re used to comfort and money and… not sharing a bed. Are you really just staying here to spite your brother, or…?”
It concerned him that he was so curious about it. Should it really matter why Lovely wanted to stay with him? Probably not. But after being alone for so long, he couldn’t help but be hopeful that someone actually cared.
Lovely didn’t like the questions because he didn’t really have any answers for them. Even now, over a month after running away, he didn’t really know how to explain it all in a way that made sense.
Probably because it didn’t make any sense at all.
“Don’t question it,” he said instead.
He grabbed the bottle of conditioner next. Ilian hadn’t had any when Lovely first made himself at home there, so Lovely assumed Ilian hadn’t used any. Which was a shame, because Ilian had really nice curls, which looked a lot nicer when he took better care of them.
Lovely slathered the conditioner through Ilian’s hair before holding his head under the tap again to rinse it out.
“I still hate you for getting me in the Negaverse,” he added, just so he didn’t seem too strange. But the sound of his voice wasn’t forceful and it should be obvious he didn’t really mean it. “But I’m stuck in it now so if I keep hating you I’ll just be on my own, and I’d rather have company when I deal with this s**t. And since it’s your fault, you get the pleasure of dealing with me.”
He paused. That sounded kind of weird and suggestive.
Lovely shrugged it off and went back to rinsing out Ilian’s hair.
Ilian stared at Lovely, not entirely sure what to think. Lovely didn’t think it was worth questioning, and maybe it wasn’t, but Ilian still would like to know what was going on, if only to get a better idea of what he was supposed to be doing.
Did Lovely expect him to pay him back? He planned on it, but was that his motivation for doing these things? Was it really just payment for allowing him to stay in his apartment with him? Or was it something else that Ilian wasn’t entirely sure of yet? Whatever it was, it made Ilian wonder about not only himself, but what his friendship with Lovely really meant. Were they really just friends at this point?
And it wasn’t as though they ever spoke about what they thought of each other. Lovely insisted that he wasn’t gay or interested in men, and Ilian never had the opportunity to really explore what he preferred. He was too busy focused on the negaverse.
Once the conditioner had been washed from his hair, Ilian pushed himself up as best he could, using his free hand to reach out and take hold of Lovely’s neck to keep him from pulling away, and leaned in to press the lightest of kisses on his lips. He could feel the heat in his own cheeks, and prepared for Lovely to shove at him or even push him under the water for what he’d done.
“I just wanted to thank you for everything,” he awkwardly explained as he pulled back, adjusting himself in the tub so as not to hit himself on the faucet. Maybe he shouldn’t have done that, but it felt like the right time to try.
Lovely sat still when Ilian’s lips met his. Or knelt, because he’d just been washing Ilian’s hair and it was easier to do that on his knees.
It was really quick, and barely much of a kiss at all, in Lovely’s opinion, but it was still a kiss, and it made him feel weird, both because he hadn’t been expecting it and it threw him off guard, and because it wasn’t nearly as terrible as he would have imagined it would be.
Not that he’d imagined it. Because that was weird.
It was all really weird, especially when he didn’t push Ilian back or punch him in the face or shove his head under the bath water. Instead, he just knelt there and looked at him with a completely blank face. His brain didn’t seem to be working at the moment because he couldn’t seem to think of anything mean or snarky to say. He felt really out of it and not quite himself.
He didn’t even protest that he wasn’t gay, or ask Ilian what the ******** he thought he was doing. He just kind of accepted it and… did nothing. Just knelt there silently and let his brain shut off for a while.
Eventually Lovely stood to his feet.
“Dry yourself off,” he said.
Then he turned and left the bathroom with every intention of shutting himself in the bedroom to freak out for a while, except he thought Ilian might go in there for a change of clothes, so Lovely switched directions to head back into the kitchen and distracted himself by scrubbing the pan he’d used to make the eggs.
The fact that Lovely didn’t punch him or shove him under the water was… surprising, but promising. At least for now, Lovely wasn’t planning on making him pay for his actions. Ilian let out a small sigh when Lovely got up to leave the bathroom, although it wasn’t a sigh of relief, nor was it a sigh of disappointment. He didn’t know what to think, of his own actions and of Lovely’s as well.
Maybe he shouldn’t have done it, or maybe he upset Lovely’s feelings. After all, they were only pretending to be boyfriends for the sake of Lovely not getting in trouble for breaking into his apartment and opening his mail.
He got up and did as he was told. He dried off as best he could with one arm, and then went to the bedroom to pull on some new clothes. He ended up pulling on some old sweatpants and a teeshirt, if only because it was easier to tug on. It stretched enough for him to get his cast through the sleeve. His only concern was now being too cold.
After pulling on some socks as well, he made his way out to see what Lovely was doing, and watched guiltily as he scrubbed at the pan he’d just used for their breakfast.
“Hey… sorry… about being weird…” he quickly apologized, leaning up against one of the posts separating the kitchen from the small living room. “I really did want to thank you. You didn’t have to, you know… help me like you have been.”
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Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2016 5:23 pm
Lovely spent a lot of time scrubbing that pan.
He scrubbed it while Ilian was drying off. He scrubbed it while Ilian was getting dressed. And he scrubbed it when Ilian stood in the area between the kitchen and the living-room, even though the pan had already been scrubbed clean.
He didn’t really hear what Ilian was saying because he was too busy trying to process the fact that Ilian had kissed him.
What the ******** was also trying the process the fact that he hadn’t reacted to it negatively at all.
What the <******** was his first kiss. And Ilian was the one who did it. Ilian, who’d been naked in the bathtub after Lovely washed his hair. Ilian, whose apartment he was staying in. Ilian, who he shared a bed with. Ilian, who he was pretending was his boyfriend.
s**t, he shouldn’t have done that. The boyfriend thing was just taking it too far, wasn’t it? It was clearly giving Ilian ideas. Now Ilian thought it was okay to kiss him. Like that was a good way to say “thank you.” Lovely didn’t think he’d ever given the impression that something like that was okay. He went over the last few weeks trying to determine if he’d ever given off any “kiss me” signals, but he really didn’t think he had.
Which meant Ilian had to be crazy or something.
“What?” Lovely said. He kept scrubbing at the clean pan.
Ilian watched as Lovely continued to scrub at the pan, even when it was clean and let out a small sigh. He slowly approached the sink where Lovely was standing and reached out to grab hold of the pan’s handle, gently pulling it away from him.
“If you didn’t like it, I’m sorry. I should have asked if you were okay with it,” he said, setting the pan down in the sink to be dealt with later.
“Don’t ignore me now. Just… if you’re mad at me, then tell me. I won’t ever do it again, okay?” he added nervously, knowing he was just opening himself up to get hit.
In preparation, he shifted his body so his broken arm and ribs were somewhat more protected.
And after a few moments of Lovely still ignoring him, he took hold of his arm and stared at him in concern. “Hey, I’m sorry, okay?”
Lovely didn’t fight it when the pan was taken from him.
He also didn’t hear a single word Ilian said.
Without the pan to focus on, Lovely stood there staring at the sink. Their juice cups were still there, and a couple of plates from the day before. Since Lovely didn’t have the pan anymore, his hand went for one of the juice cups instead.
But Ilian grabbed his arm and Lovely had to turn to look at him.
He started by looking at Ilian’s eyes, which he looked at all the time, but it felt weird now. So he focused on the freckle near Ilian’s eye because that was a lot easier. It was kind of a cute freckle. Lovely wished he only had one cute freckle. Not that he would ever say that, because “cute” and “Ilian” should never be in the same sentence, because he didn’t think Ilian was cute. At all. Because… he just didn’t. That would be weird.
About as weird as the fact that his hand moved to grab at Ilian’s shirt. And the fact that his eyes shifted down to stare at Ilian’s mouth. Because that mouth had just kissed him. And it was weird. Everything was really weird. Lovely felt really uncomfortable, but not in the “ew I’m grossed out” sort of way. In the “why am I not grossed out?” kind of way. Or the “what is going on in my life?” kind of way.
“What?” he said again.
Ilian stared back at Lovely, watching him as he dazedly couldn’t seem to focus on anything at the moment. Was it really that bad? That he had kissed him? Sure it was kind of spur of the moment, but he didn’t think it was all that bad.
Slightly frustrated, he opened his mouth to try and respond once more, but he didn’t really see the point. Lovely wasn’t really going to be listening to him no matter what he said.
Should he have left Lovely alone? Kissing him wasn’t all that bad, was it? Or maybe it was? Whatever the case may be, Lovely wasn’t reacting, and it made him concerned.
Finally, if only to see how Lovely would react, Ilian leaned in to kiss him again. It was just as soft as the last time, but it lasted longer. He took hold of Lovely’s arm and held him closer to him, as though trying to get him to push him away and react with something other than staring into space.
Lovely would rather stare into space. It was easier to stare into space than thinking about… whatever this was. He would rather not think about it. He didn’t even think he was capable of thought at the moment. Everything just seemed kind of distant and fuzzy and unfocused.
Then Ilian was kissing him again. It wasn’t any different from before, except that it lasted longer. And Lovely let it. He let it happen. He didn’t jerk his head out of the way or push Ilian back and punch him in the face when he got too close. He just kept staring at Ilian’s mouth until it drew too close and made him cross-eyed. Then he didn’t really have anywhere to look because Ilian’s eyes were right in front of him and he didn’t really feel like looking into them because there was enough weird s**t going on without looking at Ilian while they were kissing.
So he closed it eyes. That seemed easier.
Actually, it would probably be easier if he pulled away, like, right now.
But he didn’t.
Horrifyingly, he leaned in and actually participated in this whole kissing thing.
Lovely felt sort of warm and unreal. Part of him didn’t think this could possibly be happening because it was so odd. It came out of nowhere. Or at least he thought it did. They were supposed to be fake boyfriends. There wasn’t supposed to be any kissing.
Then again, there wasn’t supposed to be any cuddling either, but that was a thing that happened.
Ilian was surprised when Lovely didn’t push him away. Hell, he was even more surprised when Lovely leaned into the kiss. Ilian’s mind was racing, trying to understand both from his own side how this happened, and then from Lovely’s side on whether he was expecting this to happen or if he hadn’t expected it but ended up liking it.
He didn’t really know how to react other than to pull back after several long moments. Now it was his turn to take a few steps back, nearly bumping into the cabinets and counter behind him as he stared at Lovely, his cheeks flushing darker than they had been as he realized just what he’d done.
He kissed Lovely and hadn’t thought anything of it. Like it was normal. He hadn’t kissed anyone before, so why did he suddenly think it was okay and that it was the right time to kiss Lovely?? They weren’t even gay. ********…” he breathed, lifting his good hand up to his mouth as he stared at his “fake boyfriend” and tried to determine just when everything went spiraling out of control.
Probably around the time Lovely ran away. And also when the fake boyfriend thing started.
It took a little bit after Ilian pulled away, but Lovely’s eyes blinked back open and he went back to staring at Ilian’s mouth. But he shivered a bit and felt a little awkward doing that, so he looked at… Ilian’s nose, because that was safe. And Ilian’s cheeks, which were flushed. Actually, Lovely was pretty sure his face was flushed too, which was probably even more noticeable because he was so ******** pale.
He told himself he should be angry. He had not signed up for this. He told himself he didn’t want it. Ilian was totally out of line. How was that even a “thank you”? It was more like a “hey, I’m going to ruin our great living arrangement by making everything incredibly awkward.”
Lovely didn’t know what to say. Or do. Now that he didn’t have Ilian’s shirt to grab onto, he stood there with his hands just… hanging by his sides.
s**t, he’d kissed Ilian back. s**t. Why had he done that? What was he supposed to say after that? How was he supposed to act? Should he insult Ilian? Maybe call him names? Question his motives? Hit him for being an idiot? Storm into the bedroom and lock Ilian out of it and spend the rest of the day by himself?
Oddly, he didn’t do any of that.
Why didn’t he?
Instead, he said, “Use some ******** chapstick.”
Ilian continued to stare at Lovely, trying to decide what had just happened. Yeah, he’d kissed Lovely, but what did he really expect to happen? Why did he kiss him at all in the first place? What about Lovely caused that response from him?
Lovely had a horrible habit of cursing about anything and everything. He threw around ‘********’ and ‘s**t’ like they were just normal adjectives. He looked down on people of lower classes, and often voiced his feelings of superiority. He was pretty, but that was all, right? Just another pretty face who thought they were better than anyone else.
But there was more to Lovely than he’d realized. Lovely had helped him when he had no one else. He stayed with him during patrols, he even threw himself in front of a blade for him, and probably ended up saving his life. He’d broken into his apartment when he realized Ilian was missing, even went as far as to pay his bills for him and called his boss to tell him that he wasn’t able to make it.
Why had Lovely done that? Why for him of all people? Was it really because it was convenient to stay with him now that he had nowhere else to go? Ilian supposed he could make a case for it. He only payed the bills so he would have electricity. He only called Ilian’s boss so that he would still have a job to pay said bills. But then why did Lovely go out and get a job for himself? For something to do? Because he was so stubborn that he would rather work than go back to his family with their millions?
“R-right…” he sputtered lamely when Lovely told him to use chapstick. Of all the things Lovely could have told him, it was to use chapstick.
What exactly was going on here?
After a couple moments, Ilian seemed to have gathered enough of his bearings to take a step away and head towards the bathroom once more. He went to work brushing his teeth and hoping that was the end of it.
Lovely had absolutely no idea what was going on.
So he didn’t try to think about it.
It was just a fluke. That was all. Ilian kissed him because… he was feeling weird and vulnerable or something and he thought it was a nice “thank you.” For all Lovely knew, that was just Ilian’s way. And he’d only kissed back because… because… he didn’t know, but it didn’t mean anything. He was just caught in the moment and confused. He was just doing what Ilian did because it seemed like that was what he was supposed to do.
Except it wasn’t. He was supposed to curse Ilian out and push him away. He was supposed to call him names and make fun of him. He was supposed to be putting up a fight and not acting like it was okay.
It wasn’t okay. They were just… friends. Barely friends, he corrected himself. Friends of convenience. It wasn’t like they had anything else in common besides piano and the Negaverse.
Lovely watched as Ilian walked away and went back into the bathroom. A part of him wanted to follow.
To do what, exactly?
He had no idea. So he didn’t do it. He just stood by the sink, and when he couldn’t seem to make himself do anything else, he turned back to continue doing the dishes.
He told himself they just wouldn’t talk about it and everything would go back to normal.
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