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[Q]Stephan Eldermire Knight of Saturn

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Rhina Gatewaye

Interesting Friend

PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 12:54 am


Name: Stephan Eldermire

Nickname: Steph

Age: 21

Birthday: May 1

Sign: Taurus

Gemstone:  Emerald

Blood Type: A positive

Fav. Food: Apples

Hated Food: Ghost Peppers

School: Destiny City University, Majoring in English, Minoring in Communications.

Hobbies: 

Puzzles - It can be a logic puzzle, riddle, or a jigsaw puzzle. Stephan enjoys figuring things out.

Reading – Stephan has enjoyed books ever since he was a young boy. Fiction or not, it doesn't matter. He can spend hours in the library without growing tired. He especially likes Mythology and Ancient history.

Writing – With all the words he reads, Stephan enjoys making his own stories. He has a large collection of notebooks filled at home. He doesn't share his stories with many people.

Virtues:  

Creative Thinker – Be it in his writing or in battle, Stephan likes thinking outside the box. He often comes up with some unique solutions to situations he is put in.

Loyal – Once you are his friend you are friends for life unless you seriously break his trust. Stephan will do everything in his power for his friends. 

Flaws:  

Skeptical – Stephan almost never takes anything at face value. He does not trust people easily and often comes off as abrasive if he questions something.

Unapproachable – It is often mistaken that Steph is very standoffish with those around him. He doesn't say much unless he is very comfortable with the individual or he has something important to add to the conversation.


PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION 

Eyes: Dark green 

Hair: Black, short, wavy

Face: Oval shaped face with sharp features. 

Clothes: Grey dress shirt. Black business slacks. Very simple.
PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2016 7:05 pm


Knight Title: Hanging Coffins Page of Saturn 

Challenge: "I hear the whispers of the shadows.” 

Uniform: ELEMENTS TO THINK ABOUT FOR UNIFORM 

PLEASE THINK OF YOUR PLANET THEME(S) BEFORE GOING INSANE~! 

Top – Loose fitting light lavender poet shirt with buttons instead of laces. Open long grey coat with a tall collar lined in dark purple. Long sleeves with cuffs.
Bottoms – Close fitting dark grey dress pants. 
Gloves – No Gloves 
Belt – Purple belt with silver studs. 
Shoes – Shin high boots 
Shoulders –  none
Accessories – Two silver rings on his left hand. 
Weapon --
Page - Dark Grey cuff links shaped as the symbol of Saturn.
Squire - Grey cuff links shaped as the symbol of Saturn.
Magic - By pressing either of his cuff links, he can disappear into his own shadow for up to 10 seconds. If he moves while in his shadow the time is reduced to a maximum of 5 seconds. He cannot move more then 5 feet within his shadow.
Knight - Silver cuff links shaped as the symbol of Saturn.
Magic - By pressing either of his cuff links, he can disappear into his own shadow for up to 15 seconds. If he moves will in his shadow the time is reduced to a maximum of 7.5 seconds. He cannot move more then 10 feet within his shadow.

Rhina Gatewaye

Interesting Friend



Noir Songbird

Crew

Dramatic Senshi

18,325 Points
  • OTP 200
  • Hero 100
  • Magical Girl 50
PostPosted: Sat Apr 23, 2016 9:29 pm


Rhina Gatewaye


Hello, Rhina! Congratulations on winning your Page, and welcome to the shop! However, there are some things to go over before I can stamp him!

First, on the civilian side, all of Stephan's hobbies and traits are rather sparse! I would really like some more detail in all of them - right now they feel very thin, so I have some questions that might help you flesh him out!

For his Puzzles hobby, tell me a little more about why he enjoys them! Is it the challenge, or does he just like the focus it requires? For Reading, what draws him to particular books? You mention mythology and ancient history - is he mostly into fact-based things, or does he enjoy fiction too? Also, what kinds of things does he write?

All of his hobbies are a little solitary - does he tend to do anything in groups? Participate in book clubs or writer's circles or anything like that?

For Creative Thinker, I'd love some examples for his creative thinking! For Loyal, what is the limit to his loyalty? Is he literally the friend you call in the middle of the night because you need to hide a body?

For his flaws, does his Skeptical flaw extend to facts? Will he argue with people or make them provide sources before he accepts a premise? And for Unapproachable, does he tend to be rude or offputting if he doesn't like you?

On the powered side, I don't think Hanging Coffins is an acceptable Wonder -- it's a death-related practice, not, as far as I can research, a place! Wonders should be places, real or mythological, with a thousand-year history! There are a bunch of places associated with the practice of hanging coffins listed on the wiki page, so if any of those are a thousand years old, that would work!

Also, Kngihts cannot have paired weapons - so a single increasingly-fancy cuff link would work, but not a pair of them! Weapons can also change as they grow, so it could go from a cuff link to a bracelet to a bracer, or it could just become more elegant, whichever!

His magic, also, is fairly close to the Aspect of Saturn:

Quote:
As servants of the planet of death, the ghost-like demeanor of Saturn Knights is incredibly fitting. They always appear somewhat cast in shadow and their movements are completely silent, making them masters of stealth.


That's not necessarily bad, it just makes his actual magic a little redundant, so you might want to change it! I can provide some suggestions - Saturn Knights are my favorite, I am practically brimming with magic ideas.

Also, you have made his magic pool incredibly small! I would strongly suggest raising it to at least 30 seconds at Squire and 40 seconds at Knight, depending somewhat on what you settle on for the effect.

I know this is a little long, but I definitely want to get your character to a stampable place, so please let me know if you have any questions!
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