Plopping the tea bag into a mug, Gwen grabbed the kettle off of the stove and carefully poured the steaming liquid into the stoneware vessel. It didn’t take long at all for the black tea to begin to steep and Gwen plopped a healthy teaspoon of sugar into the mug followed by some milk. She stirred the liquid after returning the milk back to the fridge and putting the sugar away. A tap of the teaspoon on the side of the mug and Gwen placed it in the sink before carefully grabbing the mug and taking it into the living room. There she had a nice little nest all put together for herself on the couch with blankets, pillows, a sketchbook, and now her tea which she placed on the table beside her. No sooner was Gwen comfortable did Reilly hop up to curl up beside her, sighing heavily as only a dog could, causing the woman to laugh. “Such a tough life you have, little man.” A scratch behind the ear rewarded Gwen with a soft appreciative groan which cause her to chuckle again.

It was already 10pm but Gwen had no where she needed to be, and since she had gone on not one, but two interviews earlier in the day for jobs, she wanted to reward herself for the hard work. So, a night relaxing was in order. Isaiah, her new roommate, was nowhere to be found. Gwen had assumed he’d gone out on one to one of his social gatherings. She had been disappointed to find him gone, but there was nothing she could much do about it. He had told her that he would not be around all of the time the very first night he had stayed.

On a whole, she was confused by Isaiah, and it wasn’t his fault. His company was awakening feeling and wants that, for so long, had been lying dormant deep within her. She really didn’t know how to react to them and in the process was probably making a horrible impression to the man. The problem lied in the fact that she was afraid. Gwen knew she was afraid and didn’t know what to do about it.

Grabbing her sketchbook, she leaned against the back of the couch, legs curled off to the side, making enough of a table for her to work off of. She was only working on filling in things on a sketch she had made a few days ago. This particular one was of a small pond in the city’s park. It looked almost haunting with the skeletal, leaf-less trees by its’ bank. All she needed to do now was darken some things, fix shading, and add little details. Easy enough work that let her mind continue to wonder to it’s previous subject.

Knowing she was afraid was, in a way, good. She knew what her problem was. At the same time, she had no clue how to tackle it. The fear that she’d end up right where she was before, so many years ago, was crippling. She had worked far too hard to end up back there. Not to mention, Isaiah seemed quite content with his current life. Being promiscuous as he was, Gwen couldn’t imagine him being with just one person. Of course, that didn’t mean she didn’t wonder what it would be like.

She sighed. Her pencil worked on filling out the shadow of a tree over the water. The whole picture itself had a cold feel to it. In a way, it soothed Gwen. The blank expanse of the water, only disturbed by the gentle ripples from an unseen breeze, felt representative to herself. There was so much potential there, but steady and calm wasn’t going to change the picture. It would take a pebble, tossed with intention, to change the scene. Right now Gwen was holding the pebble, but in a way, it was like she forgot how to throw.

Sighing she grabbed the remote for the TV and pushed the power button. Once on, she flipped to a channel that played instrumental music. It was one of her favorites to put on when she was working on art. The music tended to help soothe and focus her.

With the background music playing, Gwen turned back to her sketch. She pushed trailing thoughts off to the side as she forced herself to focus on the image in front of her. Carefully she worked on the clouds from the mainly overcast picture, adding depth and a bit of color to them. Over all the image itself wasn’t spectacular with it’s lack of any animals and mostly sporting trees, grass, and water. Still, she worked diligently on it.

An hour or so later, Gwen had finally finished working on the sketch. She had stopped work multiple times to give Reilly attention, once to get another mug of tea, and a few other times to try and re-focus herself on the work and not that missing company of the night.

I wonder what he is up to. She mused as she curled up a bit more comfortably. Reilly placed himself in the crook of her legs, head on one of her covered ankles. The sketchbook had been moved to the coffee table in front of her, still open to the image she had been working so diligently on. She looked at it from her nested state and sighed. I am sure he’s enjoying himself, whatever he’s up to.

With a yawn, she nestled into the blankets and pillows a bit more. Grabbing the TV remote again she began to flip through the channels. At this time of night there wasn’t much on worth watching, so she resorted to leaving on the game show network. It may not be the most exciting channel but it was at least something to watch. Of course, one of her least favorite game shows was on. She wrinkled her nose a bit, but didn’t change the channel again. She placed the remote on the arm of the couch and tried to relax.

Why can’t I just tell him how I feel? She mused quietly to herself. I mean, I am not in -love- with the guy, but there’s something… Still Gwen knew she couldn’t do it. Lessons long learned were making it difficult. Plus, she was afraid of judgement. What would Isaiah think of her if she told him about Matthew? Surely not good thoughts. And she didn’t want pity.

Frustrated she rubbed her face. “You need to stop this.” She murmured to herself, causing Reilly to open an eye at her abrupt break of silence. The little sheltie dozed back off again quickly enough though.

Gwen’s train of thought continued back and forth that way for the night. It wasn’t until she’d finally dozed off on the couch that she was free from the never ending cycle of thoughts. Her dreams that night were non-existent, and in the morning the young woman would curse herself for the awkward position she had fallen asleep in.

Word count: 1186