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Bishoujo-senshi Mahou-shoujo
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 4:46 pm
Name: Alphonse Fawkes Wingates-St. Grey III
Nickname: Fawkes, but only by those who knew him when he was younger
Age: 18
Birthday: January 15
Sign: Capricorn
Gemstone: Tiger's Eye
Blood Type: A
Fav. Food: Honey
Hated Food: Any greasy foods
School: Meadowview High School
Hobbies:
Shot Through the Heart - Alphonse shots archery. He specializes in kyudo and views archery as a way to center himself, not as a competition. After all, it's not about hitting the target, but perfecting the form and yourself in the process. Alphonse finds that he can relax and focus when at the range when he otherwise couldn't have done so.
Birds of a Feather - Alphonse loves urban bird watching. This activity started as a child when he found himself lonely. He would imagine the birds as his companions. After years of watching them, he started feeding them and can stand so still now that they will even sometimes land on him. A few of the wild birds even know to expect food when they see Alphonse.
Spiritual Brews - Alphonse hosts tea ceremonies. He has a particular fondness for teas, coffees and brewed beverages, but his favorite is tea. He became fascinated with the Way of Tea after running into a shrine to get out from the rain and witnessed his first ceremony. He loves ritual and symbolism and the sacredness of the process. He has a deep respect for all ancient cultures. Alphonse is always trying to perfect his art.
Virtues:
Bleeding Heart - Alphonse is caring. Before being adopted by Wolfie and Imagi's mother at a young age, he spent some time in an orphanage. Many of the boys there were lost and needed a shoulder to cry on and he soon found himself caring deeply for some of the younger boys. He has had a deep desire to help others ever since. Alphonse can be a bit of a mother hen at times.
Please Don't Cry - Alphonse will do anything to cheer someone up. He hates to see sadness or despair. Perhaps because he spent his youth amoung unhappiness, he can't stand to see anyone in tears. His demeanor is very cheerful most of the time and it can rub off on others. Alphonse will go out of his way to do a good deed for another. Self Sacrifice - Alphonse will do anything to protect those he cares about. He hates violence and will do anything to save a friend or stranger. He will not question placing himself in harm's way for another. Alphonse doesn't think of himself if someone is in danger.
Flaws:
Lonely, Lonely Heart - Alphonse is lonely. While masking his feelings with a cheerful expression, he often has bouts of sadness. He knows, despite his best wishes, that we are all ultimately alone in this world. He is afraid of loss and losing those he cares for. Alphonse can get gloomy all of a sudden for seemingly no reason and seeks friends and companions to make him feel loved.
Penny for Your Troubles - Alphonse worries. It can be about something big or small, but he wants it to go right and will do all he can to assure a good outcome. He tends to worry about things he has no control over and laments his futile attempts at changing the world around him. Alphonse worries a lot about the fate of the world and his own destiny.
Not Quite Into His Own Yet - Alphonse can be awkward. He is easily embarrassed. If distracted, he can be unusually clumsy. He can also become flustered if bombarded with too much stimuli. Alphonse doesn't have faith in his own abilities and hasn't found his own way yet.
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION
Eyes: Orange, warm
Hair: Cream-colored, short but shaggy with some slight waves
Face: Normal complexion with round face and soft features, scar across nose and cheeks
Clothes: School uniform, with a ribbon with a bell filled with incense on his left wrist
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 4:50 pm
Knight Title: Erytheia, Page of Cosmos Challenge: "For you now and in a thousand years, purifying rebirth!" Uniform:Top -- White with puff sleeves Bottoms -- White puff shorts Gloves -- White armguards with gold trim and wide sleeves Belt -- Gold ropes with prism-colored stars and translucent sparkly bow with feather-like backpiece Shoes -- White legguards with gold trim and simple geta Shoulders -- White shawl with gold trim and cosmos symbol clasp Accessories -- see reference for additional uniform features at page, squire and knight stages Weapon: Incense Burner Page Weapon: Small Bird Cage Incense Burner with Chain Weapon/Non-magical. An incense burner that emits a pleasant scent. No magical properties. Squire Weapon: Incense Burner on Staff Weapon/Healing. The incense burner emits purifying smoke. This has the effect of healing anyone in an 8-foot radius of minor injury or wounds. The attack can be channeled for 30 seconds. Knight Weapon: Kyudo Bow with Burning Incense Stick attached Weapon/Healing. The bow shoots a sacred arrow of incense and smoke. This has the effect of healing anyone in an 8-foot radius of moderate injury and can partially heal major wounds. The attack can be channeled for 45 seconds. Summon: Sacred Hou-ou Summon. A phoenix-like bird appears. It flies into the target and is snuffed out like a flame. The target affected feels a burning sensation in their heart as it begins to glow. If used on an ally, the target feels warm inside and is filled with a sense of belonging, but if used on an enemy, the target feels a fiery pain like a burning arrow to the heart. It can also carry one passenger, but cannot attack while doing so.
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Bishoujo-senshi Mahou-shoujo
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 7:45 pm
Sorry to interrupt! Asphodel is a taken name--it's the purified title of Uranophane.
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 8:23 pm
I didn't even think to check purified names. Changed to Summerland.
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Bishoujo-senshi Mahou-shoujo
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Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2016 9:32 am
Meighei I didn't even think to check purified names. Changed to Summerland. Hey, I'm sorry that you're getting "no" after "no," but Summerland has previously been judged as too recent a concept to be used as a Wonder. sad Wonders must be at least 1000 years old, a modern name for an ancient place, or else an officially-named location on a planet's surface. " The Summerland" traces its origins to 19th century Theosophism, so unless you can find a source moving its earliest mention further into antiquity, it's not valid. sad
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Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2016 10:15 am
Silverah Hey, I'm sorry that you're getting "no" after "no," but Summerland has previously been judged as too recent a concept to be used as a Wonder. What about the Astral Plane?
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Bishoujo-senshi Mahou-shoujo
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Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2016 10:32 am
Meighei Silverah Hey, I'm sorry that you're getting "no" after "no," but Summerland has previously been judged as too recent a concept to be used as a Wonder. What about the Astral Plane? That's a question for Staff. smile I think it would come down to whether the concept actually dates to the greek classical period, or whether later philosophers grouped the greek classical work into their cosmology.
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Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2016 10:52 am
I will ask. Thank you for all of the advice!
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Bishoujo-senshi Mahou-shoujo
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Bishoujo-senshi Mahou-shoujo
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Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2016 5:30 pm
Wonder name changed to Astral Plane/Garden of the Hesperides/etc.
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Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2016 9:31 am
Erytheia, you are ready for a crit/stamp with that name finally!
[seriously, you don't even know how many wonders I just went through]
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Bishoujo-senshi Mahou-shoujo
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Bishoujo-senshi Mahou-shoujo
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Posted: Sat Jan 16, 2016 4:10 pm
Questions if colors are appropriate for a knight of cosmos.
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Posted: Sat Jan 16, 2016 10:09 pm
One thing that sticks out to me - I don't think anyone would appoint a clutzy, clumsy, careless person who loses things and is disorganized to be even IN an archery club, much less leader of it. XD it would be too much of a liability/potential disaster waiting to happen.
As for colors, I don't know that cosmos Knights use cream colors. It's mostly white and pastel rainbows. =Oa
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Bishoujo-senshi Mahou-shoujo
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Posted: Sun Jan 17, 2016 10:35 am
I may change the color to white if needed and add more pastel if what the uniform has isn't enough.
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Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2016 9:41 pm
Hey, Meighei! Congratulations on winning Alphonse! For the most part, my crits are on the powered side - first, could you please include a reference link to his Wonder? Second, I tend to agree that the colors don't quite fit Cosmos! With all that cream, he looks a bit more like a Chronos Knight? Switching it to white and adding some more rainbows would fix that, though, and that's definitely something you can work on with your artist when you acquire his powered side! Third, unfortunately, his powers aren't quite reading as Knight powers to me! First, I'm not sure how they tie into Cosmos's themes -- are they meant to play off rebirth? The themes for Cosmos are Eternity, Rebirth, Stars; making a clear connection to these is really important! He also has two different powers; Knight magic doesn't quite work like that! Knights have one spell that gets stronger when they grow - so you would need to pick either the mind-clearing or the healing. Also, as written they read more like Senshi magic, in the sense that they read as cast-and-go - Knights channel their spells out of a pool (think of the seconds in the pool as like mana points!) and can turn their channeling on and off, so it should be phrased to say so; someone would also therefore not need to stand in the smoke for the full time it was being channeled to experience the effects as that would basically mean Erytheia would always have to burn his magic pool in one shot to get any use out of it! I would also recommend upping his channeling times to be more in line with most Knights -- that is, 30 seconds at Squire and 45 at Knight? Quote me once you've made changes and I'll be back for another look, and congrats again!
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Bishoujo-senshi Mahou-shoujo
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Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 9:36 am
Noir Songbird Hey, Meighei! Congratulations on winning Alphonse! For the most part, my crits are on the powered side - first, could you please include a reference link to his Wonder? Second, I tend to agree that the colors don't quite fit Cosmos! With all that cream, he looks a bit more like a Chronos Knight? Switching it to white and adding some more rainbows would fix that, though, and that's definitely something you can work on with your artist when you acquire his powered side! Third, unfortunately, his powers aren't quite reading as Knight powers to me! First, I'm not sure how they tie into Cosmos's themes -- are they meant to play off rebirth? The themes for Cosmos are Eternity, Rebirth, Stars; making a clear connection to these is really important! He also has two different powers; Knight magic doesn't quite work like that! Knights have one spell that gets stronger when they grow - so you would need to pick either the mind-clearing or the healing. Also, as written they read more like Senshi magic, in the sense that they read as cast-and-go - Knights channel their spells out of a pool (think of the seconds in the pool as like mana points!) and can turn their channeling on and off, so it should be phrased to say so; someone would also therefore not need to stand in the smoke for the full time it was being channeled to experience the effects as that would basically mean Erytheia would always have to burn his magic pool in one shot to get any use out of it! I would also recommend upping his channeling times to be more in line with most Knights -- that is, 30 seconds at Squire and 45 at Knight? Quote me once you've made changes and I'll be back for another look, and congrats again! Fixed. I will inform the artist of the needed changes to my design.
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