Hated Food: Celery, rosemary - texture wise she feels like it is like eating pine needles.
School: Crystal Academy
Hobbies:
Ballroom Dancing: Though her brother will deny it if asked, Jenna has been a ballroom dancer with Aiden Hale for well over 7 years and have participated in competitions all throughout grade school (several of which they placed in if not won). It was hard to have to sacrifice friend time in order to pursue this pass time but as she grew older Jenna came to develop a die hard passion for it and can frequently be caught practicing her movements as she's going down their hallway or just making food in the kitchen.
Beading: More so as a personal hobby fueled by Pintrest tutorials she found while surfing the website. Jenna usually does this at the end of the day, end of a busy week while sitting on the couch watching movies. Most of what she makes ends up as gifts for others at some point in time but if anything it's something she does to keep her hands busy.
Pottery / clay: This has been a mother daughter hobby that she has done since she was back in elementary school though it isn't limited to just making cups and plates. There are times that Jenna and her mother go to ceramic shops to paint instead of make little random things they find on the shelves. What more than the traditional pottery she has gotten into playing with other varieties of clay some of which she then uses in her beading. Every so often she will do these activities with a friend but it would have to be someone who shares the hobby with her that she met at a class as she wouldn't typically out right invite someone.
Astronomy: Prior to her parents divorce in 2013, Jenna made three telescopes with her father which they would then take out to a field far enough away from Destiny City so the lights wouldn't interfere with their stargazing. It started out more as a father daughter kind of hobby which has then become something a bit more as she is currently involved with an Astronomy club both in and out of school.
Virtues:
Decisive: If ever asked a question along the lines of what she would like to do, or what she would like to eat, rarely does Jenna say 'I don't know.' Unlike the buzzards from the Jungle Book, she has a pretty good idea on what she wants at any given time though it doesn't mean she isn't open to others suggestions but at the very least if she willing to do whatever she'll list off 2-4 things as an option.
Well organized: Jenna keeps a planner with her for a reason. Between school, homework, dancing, and clubs; she has to run a bit of a tight ship if she wants to be able to spend time with friends or do anything extra on the side. She keeps this schedule both in a notebook and in her phone with alarms set for when it is time to leave to move on to the next activity. Because of this she is rarely ever late to any sort of an event but it does mean she definitely won't be early either.
Flaws:
Opinionated: More often than not Jenna has an opinion on just about everything. A good portion of the time she won't say anything unless in direct conversation with someone or if directly asked. But woe to the person who opens the flood gates especially if it is a topic she is passionate about. However, there are times she'll mutter things under her breath likely meant only for the person nearest to her to hear. All in all she doesn't give a rats a** if her opinion offends someone, she will stand by and defend her stance till someone with a better argument can come along to prove to her otherwise.
Irritable: If there is an agreed upon plan, stick to it. If there is a schedule, keep it. If you're going to do something, do it. Jenna does not do spur of the moment activities or last minute changes very well. She can be argumentative to the point of exasperation in order to keep plans on track and does not like to deviate too much from her schedule. She is spread thin as is, adding anxiety or stress by not following through is like stretching a rubber band to the point it is about to snap. It may seem like childish behavior throwing a hissy fit over something so small but she relies on thing happening when they're suppose to and it completely throws her off when things change.
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION
Eyes: Gold
Hair: Colbalt - Navy blue (depending on the lighting)
Face: Narrow
Clothes:Ballroom dancing dresses, casual non-name brand. Patterns are fine but no logos. Scarves... she loves scarves and bracelets.
Challenge: "A prayer without faith is nothing but a wish." "Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket ♪♫" "When you wish upon a star" "Your wish is my command"
Fuku Colour: Main Color: Royal blue Secondary Color: Gold
Fuku: --> Things to be noted: missing the stripe on the collar and gloves.
Attacks: (see below in 3rd post)
Sailor Scout Attack: Wish upon a star After declaring her attack Sailor Merkeb summons two crystal looking star shaped non-physical objects that glow a soft white color. She then chooses 1-2 allies within 10' of her causing the stars to blink from her hands into theirs (she can use a star herself). Whomever is holding the star has 20 seconds to make a wish, downside is that if a wish is not made in the allocated time the white light will fade and it will disappear.
Wishes, broken down to the base desire, should somehow fall into a magic category in the case that it doesn't (ex I wish for a puppy) the star will remain the soft white color and nothing will happen till the star fades or valid wish is spoken.
Magic: The star in their hands will turn blue then dissolves granting a player's choice of 40% of magic pool (not to exceed your max allowed time), small boost in energy or one returned magic attack up to her level**.
Can be cast 3 times.
Note** Merkeb cannot gain an additional use of her magic- cannot wish for more wishes. Using her attack 3 times will leave her exhausted and hating life unless she uses a final star on herself to get an energy boost.
Super Sailor Scout Attack: Wish upon a shooting star After declaring her attack Sailor Merkeb summons a gold bow with a non-physical single arrow. The tip of the arrow is in the shape of a star. Aiming it upwards (won't fire otherwise) she releases the ethereal string sending the arrow flying then the bow disappears. The arrow splits into three shooting stars to land in the hands of 2-3 allies 16' from her (only two if she plans on using one for herself) that look like her base attack. Whomever is holding the star has 20 seconds to make a wish, downside is that if a wish is not made in the allocated time the white light will fade and it will disappear. ((Downside... this will definitely give her location away like a flare being shot up into the air.))
Wishes made should fall under one of these two categories, in the case that it doesn't (player discretion on which they're aiming for) the star will remain the soft white and nothing will happen till the star fades or valid wish is spoken. When the wish is granted the star changes color and dissolves into light granting the wish.
Health: The star in their hands will turn red then dissolves healing moderate cuts, scrapes, deep bruises or aches from like a twisted ankle. Magic: The star in their hands will turn blue then dissolves granting a player's choice of 40% of magic pool(not to exceed your max allowed time), moderate boost in energy or one returned magic attack up to her level**.
Can be cast 3 times.
Note** Merkeb cannot gain an additional use of her magic- cannot wish for more wishes. Using her attack 3 times will leave her exhausted and hating life unless she uses a final star on herself to get an energy boost.
Eternal Sailor Attack: Make a Wish
Sailor Merkeb removes one of the dandelion flowers from her hair and then takes a deep breath and blows all the seeds off the stem which settle on the ground in an 8' AOE. The stem then disappears, reverting back to the hair accessory, then from where the seeds landed a small field of fluffy white dandelions appear around her.
Only those standing in the AOE when cast can pick up a flower; anyone not already inside the circle cannot walk into it to grab one their hands will just pass through. Each player must make a wish then blow the seeds just like she had previously done. If casting a wish upon yourself the fluff will hover around you manifesting the illusion, if casting a wish upon an opponent the fluff with float around them. Otherwise wishes like "I wish ____ was alive.", "I wish I had a guard dog", "I wish I had an army to kick your butt" the seeds will hover beside the wisher.
This is basically a free for all wish that manifests as a grand illusion that everyone can see for 35 seconds, however the player must bold their wish so others know what the illusion is. Be specific with your illusion.
** Note: Since I foresee it as being a common wish... Wishing for someone to be dead or to die will make them appear as a zombie. No matter how specific you are with your wish.
She can cast this attack 2 times
Shanyume
Anxious Friend
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Shanyume
Anxious Friend
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Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2015 11:00 am
Hello,
If you are reading this post before looking over the attacks, I thank you. If not, I ask that you please reserve opinions on what I have written for her till you've read through this post in it's entirety.
While I realize her attacks may seem excessive, they're really not. Her attacks, simplified, is wish granting, the extra notes are guidelines.
to want; desire; long for (usually followed by an infinitive or a clause): to entertain wishes, favorably or otherwise a request or command something desired to force or impose (usually used in the negative)
As perfectly said by Genie from Aladdin "There are a few, uh, provisos, a, a couple of quid pro quos." to what a person can wish for. While her attacks might look like much they are parameters or limitations. It also in part follows Bedazzled with Brendan Fraser where not all wishes are as you expect them to be. So while you may wish to be as strong as a juggernaut, the truth is you'll just get a minor increase in strength but it's more than what you were.
Wishes are desires or needs in a given moment and are adaptable to varying situations. Limiting a persons wish to only one set of outcomes makes little sense.
For transparency, things to note:
Merkeb cannot benefit from the 'magic' wish, she can gain energy if she's exhausted but as in Aladdin, you can't wish for more wishes. (If someone else has an attack that can refund an attack that's a different matter) Base and Super attacks can only be wishes for the wisher; they cannot use their wish on someone else, period. A single person cannot be under the effect of multiple wishes. The first one will have to run its course before being able to wish upon another star. Her attacks are all individual target; Base two people, Super three people, Eternal one person each cast. There is no AOE effect wish granting. Base attack is from the song 'when you wish upon a star', Super attack is from the song 'catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, Eternal follow's Genie's 3 wish rule.
Thank you for taking the time for reading my explanation of why I chose these attacks. For further clarification feel free to ask.
Shan
Posted: Tue Dec 29, 2015 3:47 pm
I normally refrain from offering critiques in NotM but, as I saw this quest, I really feel it's something that while cute, needs to be pulled back due to a variety of reasons.
One is simply that I think as a player, wishes is entirely OP for a sphere in moonshop- a wish, in the world of magical girl genre is a powerful concept, as it's usually a driving force behind a majority of plots and actions. In SM, It's Usagi's wish that literally, changes the ENTIRE universe (several times), the timeline itself, brings back her friends from the dead, etc. It's a repeated motif and force behind nearly every plot; having wishes as a PC senshi then seems really OP given that frame of reference and in the shop canon that it's again, the desires to have wishes granted that shaped the setting itself. Wishes are powerful things and game changers. Wishes are a concept that even the cosmos cannot grant iirc, and I'm hesitant to say that it's even stated in SM canon that the cauldron itself cannot grant wishes either. But, it's been years since I've read the comics, so it's possible I am wrong on that front.
You seem to base your senshi off of the premade adopt you have posted below, and if so Star Clusters/ Star clouds might be better. Interstellar (the space between stars), Asterisms (Large areas of stars used to ID parts of the night sky), Plerions (Pulsar wind nebulas), Glitter, Entertainment, Glamour, Fame- All are spheres I can see as very viable and workable with the adopt.
That being said, her attacks are REALLY complex. Like, complex to the point that I, as a player, do not want to have to spend forever reading about all their caveats and mechanics. I tend to find that if an attack needs a lot of caveats and over a paragraph to explain it, it is too complex or is too much. If sticking with wishes, and these attacks, I still find them highly OP. At basic, she has an attack that offers up to literally, four different possible effects, to two targets, has 25 seconds before it remains and can be stolen, and can be used three times in battle.
If wishes is considered for whatever reason by GMs to be viable in shop as PC sphere, I would suggest to vastly simply your attacks. As a player, reading a page and a half is a lot, and it's best to go for simple, straightforward and to the point! I like her names for the attacks, as in going off of them, why not have it like she makes as wish on a target, granting them a healing or renewal of energy, (non- magical). It could be done via a falling star still, and so in theory, if can be caught by an enemy opponent if cast from a distance. At super, this can be targeted to more characters or in an AoE, perhaps even become unstealable as it were. For eternal, this could be where it grants an additional magical attack or a renewal of magic. For 1-2 targets. Can't be stolen, and can use the same casting motion. Wishes are primarily seen as positive, so debuffs would be a tiny bit odd to throw in.
Go for simple and direct! The motif of stars and dandelions is cute as all heck, its just a matter of scaling back, and making something that is both appealing for you to play, feasible for other players to look over quickly to understand. Less is more will be your biggest goal here I think, because the attacks aside from just being OP are really complex, and while suited for perhaps a different game or setting, here it just is a too much.
Her Civilian side looks very good and she has some interesting hobbies! However, I do have some things we need to touch on together with her attacks before I can give her a trail stamp.
I feel like Markeb's attacks are actually a little too complicated and do a lot of things for all of her stages because she could basically grant anything and the effects are difference for each 'wish' and who does the wishing and who the wishing is for. I realize that you're disclaimer says that these are just examples; however, with the examples you've given I feel as if Markeb could actually be a team by herself and I would hate for this to be a hindrance for such an amazing senshi concept. Especially because I feel like this even limits you a little in her sphere as well since she is wishes.
I'd like to give you a few options on things you could do to simplify her more still.
One of the options you could do is decide if you'd like Markeb to be able to do damage with her attacks or buff attacks. Do you prefer her to be able to grant wishes of healing, strength, damage, or speed? Would you prefer buffs or debuff? With these in mind you could fix her basic attacks so they can do one thing, but still have something different for her Eternal.
Now then, I realize this limits Wishes so I have another suggestion; what if Markeb creates temporary Illusions when people wished for something that they wanted? Like she could grant a literal wish, "I wish for a puppy!" or for a contemporary idea on desire Harry Potter's Mirror of Erised. You could then let Markeb's power grant the illusion that they actually have a puppy or that something the intended target has a desire for plays out to them in their wished/desired illusion. So for Basic and Super this attack could last for x amount of time and be a distraction for her and/or anyone she teams up with.
If you wanted to, you could continue this theme of illusions into the Eternal attack. I believe if you did this the Eternal attack could also have an added bonus of an effect (for example: Heal, Damage, Buff or a Debuff) in order to keep the wishing from being too complicated; this would allow Markeb to do more than just be an illusion senshi and not have to have as many examples of things she could do. To explain what I am saying, her magic could be to create an illusion where the character's greatest wish is granted. They might be trapped in this illusion for a set time period, however afterwards they may be filled with a sense of empowerment, confidence, or morale if the illusion was cast on an ally, or depression, tiredness or disappointment at being pulled from the wish if cast on an opponent. I think this would help leave a little more freedom not just for you but those playing with you and your senshi of wishes.
If you have any questions dear or need/want any clarification or help from me don't hesitate to quote me back and ask okay?
Shanyume
Posted: Tue Dec 29, 2015 11:58 pm
LP
Hello LP!
Thank you so much for your time in putting together the critique I know it was a lot to read through which I sincerely apologize. Though I do find it a personal success that it seems I’ve finally made it over the civilian hump and can write virtues and flaws without much of a problem.
To keep things simple I’m going to address them one at a time so things don’t get lost in translation or confused. While you suggestion of illusions is a valid option I’d like to address/pursue your first option and use that as a last resort.
While I tend to jump head first into attacks, I realize that to me the attacks seemed straightforward but were also wordy and confusing. To answer your question though, Merkeb is suppose to be a support > distract character; more utilitary than outright damage. So I revisited my attack and cleaned up the wording so it was easier to understand and limited the categories to two so there is still an option.
The main thing I was wanting for her as a character was someone who would be easy for me to do solos for. For her it would be exploring ok what can i wish for and what is the result. Learning her own rules and parameters since I imagined there would be a lot of wasted wishes at the beginning.
If you could please let me know what you think about the revised option below that would be great!
Again thank you for your time and help in cleaning up her powered side!
Old:
Sailor Scout Attack: Wish upon a star After declaring her attack Sailor Merkeb summons two crystal looking star shaped objects that glow a soft white color which hover above her open hands. She then chooses 1-2 allies within 10' of her (only one if she plans on using the other for herself) causing one or both stars to blink from her hands into theirs. Whomever is holding the star has 25 seconds to make a wish, downside is that if a wish is not made in the allocated time an opponent can take it from them and use it.
Wishes made should fall under one of these four categories, in the case that it doesn't (player discretion on which they're aiming for) the star will remain the soft white color as if waiting. When the wish is granted the star changes color and dissolves into light granting the wish.
Health: ex - "I wish the pain would go away." The star in their hands will turn red then dissolves healing minor cuts, scrapes, bruises or aches. Magic: ex - "I wish I could do that one more time."// "I wish I wasn't so tired" The star in their hands will turn bluethen dissolves granting 10 seconds of magic or one magic attack up to her level. ((If your character cannot use magic ie Negaverse or squire then then you receive an energy boost instead. Note** Merkeb cannot benefit from gaining an additional use of her magic- cannot wish for more wishes)) Strength: ex - "I wish I could beat the crap out of them." The star in their hands will glow purple then dissolves granting strength up to the next upgrade level. (( Lasts 15 seconds)) Agility ex - "I wish we could get away!" // "I wish I could catch up." The star in their hands will glow yellow then dissolve granting agility up to the next upgrade level. (( Lasts 15 seconds ))
Can be cast 3 times.
Revised:
Sailor Scout Attack: Wish upon a star After declaring her attack Sailor Merkeb summons two crystal looking star shaped objects that glow a soft white color. She then chooses 1-2 allies within 10' of her causing one or both stars to blink from her hands into theirs. Whomever is holding the star has 20 seconds to make a wish, downside is that if a wish is not made in the allocated time an someone else can take it from them and use it.
Wishes, broken down to the base desire, should fall in one of these two categories in the case that it doesn't (ex I wish for a puppy) the star will remain the soft white color and nothing will happen till the star fades or valid wish is spoken.
Health: The star in their hands will turn red then dissolves healing minor cuts, scrapes, bruises or aches. Magic: The star in their hands will turn bluethen dissolves granting a player's choice of 10 seconds of spent magic, small boost in energy or one returned magic attack up to her level**.
Can be cast 3 times.
Note** Merkeb cannot gain additional use of her magic- cannot wish for more wishes
These attacks are a step in the right direction! I feel like that giving two choices of different types should be reserved in this case for super, since it still seems a little complicated for a basic senshi's magic. Now I think for the basic if you'd still like to give them a choice, offer the magical option so they can choose if it's a renewed attack or a magical boost in energy/speed. Then give the magical or health option at the super senshi stage.
Since we're sticking with this I would like to address one more mechanic with these particular types of attacks, in the fact that Merkeb is giving other characters the ability to hold her wishes and use them, I'm concerned this may cause some small problems in a role play environment with other people where when they try to wish, and if they get it wrong the star gets stolen. It could be a very interesting game of hot potato but I feel like it may also get very complicated for some players. Something to consider here, is perhaps either fix it so the wish actually disappears even when a wrong wish is made; or have Merkeb be the one to make the wishes in order to help others and if someone else steals the star it fades away? These again are just suggestions but either way she could learn from her own mistakes/others this way as to what's considered a good wish vs a bad wish.
Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2015 1:27 am
Haha! While the game of hot potato was intentional since it was in part inspired by the YouTube videos of a child making a wish but taking too long so the sibling or friend beside them blows the candles out for them, I can see how it would be insanely chaotic and easy to lose who exactly is holding the wish given the time-frame before it expires. Though I’m still wildly amused by the put off look someone might have if their wish was stolen.
Any-who, I made the suggested changes to the second post for both base and super attacks if you could please review them and let me know if those sound okay. If so we can work on the Eternal attack next!
Yes having a wish as a hot potato could've been a really entertaining thing, however, with a role play environment it may still have been challenging to actually work with it unless you fixed it just so the wish would've disappeared when someone else tried to grab it.
Also those changes to basic and super look good to me!
Let me know what you come up with on the Eternal and I'll be more than happy to help there too!
Shanyume
Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2015 9:03 am
For my own reference later on.
Eternal Sailor Attack: Make a Wish
Sailor Merkeb removes one of the dandelion flowers from her hair. Taking a deep breath she makes a wish then blows all the seeds off the stem which disappears shortly there after and the hair accessory returns to where it once was.
Her wishes are not limited to benefiting herself but she can wish for something good to happen to an ally or something negative to happen to an enemy. The fluff floats through the air towards a target standing within 14' in front of or beside her.
Benefit to an ally:
Health: Can heal severe wounds on one target including broken bones. Magic: Can replenish two of an allies used magic attacks up to her level or 75% of expended energy/magic pool. ((Like the previous attacks Merkeb cannot benefit from returning more magic attacks.)) Strength: Granting strength up to the next upgrade level for 25 seconds. Agility: Granting agility up to the next upgrade level for 25 seconds.
Harm to an opponent:
Health: Can cause an opponent to feel sick (nauseous, vertigo, feverish etc) for 25 seconds. Magic: Depletes an opponents magic / unspent energy for 25 seconds. (cannot teleport, summon weapons, use magic) Strength: Drains an opponents strength so they are no stronger than a civilian for 25 seconds. Agility: Drains an opponents strength so they are no quicker than a civilian for 25 seconds
She can use this attack 3 times and not on the same person until the effects of the first one has worn off.
Shanyume
Anxious Friend
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Shanyume
Anxious Friend
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Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2015 9:53 am
Okay love, I edited the eternal attack in the second post. I imagine some tweaking might need to be done but if you could review it and let me know, that would be great.
Thanks!
LP
Posted: Thu Dec 31, 2015 12:22 pm
Shanyume
I am so sorry I didn't get this trial stamped last night dear I kept having things creep up on me. That said a mod will be by soon~ Thank you so much.
Senshi: Sailor 
