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 Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 5:57 pm
Part of him debated powering down and walking into the church. Another part of him debated having some words with some of the dealers he'd spotted from the rooftops and from walking down the sidewalks on his multiple roundabouts of the area.
He'd been circling it on and off for the last two hours.
He'd also drained about a dozen ******** idiots who wanted to pick fights, a few who had no idea he was there, and even had a starseed burning a hole in his pocket.
One that he kept taking out, kept staring at. He'd killed someone for this starseed. It hadn't seemed like much at the time, when the jackass pulled the gun on Seraphinite. It'd been a choice: get shot, or rip the guy's soul out.
Yet now, as he stood in the shadow of the church, he felt that weight return to him. Felt that bile rise, felt his head swim with debates.
And in the light of the starseed in his hand, he felt very, very unwelcome in the House of the Lord.
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Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 6:04 pm
Leucite felt great. He felt alive and reinvigorated. Since his pilgrimage into the Rift, he felt... well... Better about things. So he was a bit taken aback when he felt the familiar aura of a Lieutenant nearby. He knew Stibnite wouldn't be in the area, so it had to be someone else. He wasted no time in getting to the other signature, feeling that a bit of comradery would not be amiss. Not to mention that it was dangerous to be alone, especially for a Lieutenant. Even if he hadn't really followed that advice himself, once. Landing nearby to the source of the signature, Leucite cleared his throat. "You know, you're just alerting everyone in the area that you have a starseed..." He said with a small smile. "Unless you're looking for a fight, I'd say put that thing away."
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Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 6:18 pm
The aura of a Captain wasn't new to him, though he bristled. Half expected to see Jet--which, while that wasn't a bad thing, he wasn't sure he wanted to deal with his friend whom seemed much more settled with their lives as Negaverse agents. Least not when his own head was having issues dealing with some of the concepts.
But the figure that approached was way too tall to be Jet, and the voice most certainly wasn't his. Seraphinite frowned a bit, keeping the starseed out. "Fight might be what I need--or at least more than what the ******** around here can give," he retorted calmly, though the rough edge off his voice might have easily conveyed otherwise.
He hadn't traded blows with a senshi--did a guardian cat count?--at least not... outside those strange, strange dreams he'd had a while back. At this point though? He could go with it, use the chance to break his knuckles over the face of some ******** idiot who thought it was fine to attack and maim and murder---
....and then his eyes returned to the starseed.
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Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 6:25 pm
Ah, conflict. Leucite was familiar with this feeling. He'd felt it not that long ago before his pilgrimage. Now he felt better, absolved of the sins he had committed. Guilt free. For their cause was righteous. Moving next to the young man, he looked down from where they stood, and he kept his tone conversational. "What's eating you?" He asked quietly, hands moving to his sash to pull out the Rift Crystal Rosary he carried to roll the crystals through his fingers as he held it in his left hand. "The soul in your hand, were they innocent?"
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Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 6:32 pm
"Define 'innocent' first." Until Seraphinite himself could do that... this wouldn't end.
For a while he said nothing else, rolling the starseed between his fingers. It was a strange thought, to know you held someone's soul in your very hand. Finally, he spoke. "An Eternal killed my friend's older brother. That was when we found out he was in the Negaverse. He died trying to help a corrupt. Only family my friend had left. Basically a brother to me. Gone to a war we didn't even ******** know existed." He held up the starseed and gave a dry, humorless laugh. "Now I'm ripping out souls of dealers who lurk too close to the schools. Tonight took this ******** idiot's starseed when he pulled a gun on me while I was draining him. Told myself it was self-defense, but how many times can that senshi have said the same ******** thing for why she killed him?"
Seraphinite had been taught the basics of being in the Negaverse. And that was it. Supposedly he was to have been assigned a Captain or General to instruct him, but it seemed in that regard as well, he'd fallen through the cracks.
His pale eyes caught on the rosary, and he watched it in silence. Was this guy going to lecture him? Report him? What?
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Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 6:42 pm
"Those without sin," Leucite said. "Children, and those who have no stake in this war." Leucite continued with a small chuckle. "Drug Dealers though... No, not innocent. I have pulled many a starseed from them myself." Their wallets too..."You were right to defend yourself, just as the Senshi was right to do so on her end." Leucite turned his gaze to the Lieutenant next to him. "It is a shame that he died, and you have my condolences. But this is war, people die. I grew up during one, and now I'm fighting a second." "Does it trouble you? That you killed him?" Leucite continued, rolling the crystals some more through his hand. "I can tell you, you made the right call, one I've made myself more than once." "One day, we will stand before Saint Peter, and we will be judged for our actions. But I'd like to avoid that as long as I can." He gave the young man a wry smile. "Do you pray, son?"
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Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2015 11:02 pm
Children. Those without stake in the war. "There are children fighting for the White Moon. How do you class them?" It was genuine curiosity that made him question this--Seraphinite himself? Had no possible interest in hurting a kid. Didn't even get why they were fighting. Didn't kids have enough problems in this freaking city?
There was.... a small comfort, he supposed, to hear he wasn't the only one filling his quota with the starseeds of those who reduced themselves to pandering the filth. It didn't relieve all of his doubt though. Particularly as his hackles rose, eyes narrow and a snarl forming soundlessly on his lips as he looked to the Captain.
The senshi was right to kill him? Who the ******** did this guy think he was?
"So who the ******** are we then?" His voice snapped, a vicious snarl as he faced the man. "If the senshi are so noble in their own killings, who the ******** are we to fight them? To say they're worse than us, or are in the wrong? The ******** separates us from them?"
People die in wars, yes. Yet... some juvenile, naive part of him... wanted to believe it was possible to prevent some. That with the right power, with the right strength... battles could be won, people could be saved, and people whom deserved it could be made happy.
Making a small sound of disgust, he looked away at the mention of Saint Peter. He ignored the question about if he was troubled by killing the man outright, grip tightening on the starseed. No portion of Seraphinite's mind was convinced he'd be judged in a positive light.
Which was perhaps why he was silent for so long towards the... last question.
Finally... gruffly, more a growl than words, he muttered, "Mother did. God sure as ******** wasn't there when my old man beat her to death. His judgement sure as ******** wasn't there when the weak bastards in the judicial system said he was innocent due to mental defect," he spat the words. "Folks that adopted me try to convince me to pray. The ******** good is it?" In that moment, he spoke freely. Far more openly than he'd normally speak. It was anger that fueled his words, anger that made his body tremble with the urge to lash out.
He had no idea what force kept him from doing so, but for the time being...
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2015 4:51 pm
Such anger, so much bitterness. For a moment Leucite felt as if he was looking at himself in the past. Unlike the Lieutenant, he'd had a mother he'd been able to rely on. Someone who loved him and kept him from going down a darker path. This boy needed help. "Still innocents, to be removed from the battle and converted as soon as they are able. If they are ever able." Leucite said with a small nod. As for the next question. "We are the righteous ones," Leucite retorted, keeping steel from filling his voice, even if it would have been warranted from the younger man's tone. "I said the senshi had a right to defend herself, and she did. I stand by that statement. I did not say she was in the right. Your friend's brother died a hero. Small platitude I know, but know he did the right thing." "In the end, we are the ones defending this planet against invasion - and we will suffer losses. It hurts. It will continue to hurt. But we cannot let our friends and loved ones' sacrifices be in vain!" Turning his attention fully on the boy now, his body pivoted on his foot in a smooth right face. "Your father, was he a solider?" He'd heard of cases like these before. Seen them play out in fact - not first hand. His father had been the head of a military police unit, he'd SEEN the aftermath. "Or was he just garden variety crazy?" In either case. "I'm sorry you lost your mother. My father used to beat me and my mother too, before I got big enough to stop him. Me more than her, and only her if she got in his way." Leucite's face took on a look of pure empathy. "I know what its like to grow up afraid of turning into the man who gave you such a hellish upbringing." He stood silent for awhile, to let his words sink in. "You ask me what good prayer is?" He said finally. "It's the one place where you can speak your heart and mind freely. You can rail and curse and throw your hands at God, and he will listen. He will listen and he will forgive. If you pray, earnestly, honestly. He will give you what you need." His eyes looked down to rosary in his hand. "Trust me... I know first hand... A week ago I would have probably laid you out for your attitude alone, Lieutenant." But here they were - talking.
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Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2016 11:05 am
Seraphinite wanted nothing more than to deck the guy. Vent his rage, his frustration, the ******** years of it that had piled up. His restraint was a slender thread, held together only by the admission that Sorin's death was, in its own right, a crime. The idea that they were defending the planet from an invasion, from the ******** aliens that were the senshi...
He knew Jet's thoughts. His brother's death wouldn't be anything but in vain until the senshi were wiped out. Where did Jericho himself stand?
Pale eyes watched the Captain, giving no facial ticks or any acknowledgement even as it was suggested his father might have just been your 'average' crazy b*****d. He hadn't planned on answering. It wasn't until the other man relayed his own history, his own similar story. A shiver went through him at that one... prominent point.
"...soldier. And now I'm a Negaverse soldier." That was the fear, the unease, and the irony all in one. Though his father had been a soldier sanctioned by the government, Jericho was in a way following his footsteps. "How do you keep yourself from repeating what he's done?"
These weren't questions he was able to ask other people. Not the therapist, not his new family, not even Ilian. They just didn't have the frame of mind that he knew would provide actual answers, and not just responses to try and direct him to what they wanted him to believe or see.
"What changed?"
Seraphinite's anger wasn't diminishing per say, he was still bristled, still ready for a fight. But he could at least linger. He could at least listen. Hear what the ******** helped this guy stand there and say prayer helped. Not that he was so against the idea of ranting to someone and they'd actually listen... but... "How do you know it was God actually responding?"
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Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2016 11:44 am
It made a sad sort of sense to Leucite, and his heart went out to the poor boy. There but for the grace of god went he. He decided then - perhaps on a whim - that he would take this one under his wing as well. He would do his best to show him the right path. No one should fall to darkness. No one should be alone. "You recognize that the potential is there, and you face it every day. You remind yourself that you are better than they were. I'm not saying it will be easy, and there will be times that you will be tested. There will be times that you fail." His face had softened a bit, now, taking on a look of pure concern. "But you will pick yourself back up and remember that you are not your father. I won't lie to you, I have hurt someone I care deeply for. I was lost in a rage. But I took responsibility for what I did, I understand what I did was wrong and they forgave me. Now I watch my temper and my emotions when I am with them, and they know how to wind me down if I begin to lose control." He let out a small dry chuckle. "I also know that they will kill me, if I become a monster, so there is some small solace in that." Shaking his head again he lifted the rosary once more. "I felt the weight of my guilt - all of my guilt - being lifted from my soul. If that is not his words then I do not know what is." He said with a small grin. "He works in mysterious ways, Lieutenant. But honest ones."
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Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2016 2:16 pm
"Faith, trust, and pixie dust, huh?"
A small, genuine smile came to the youth. The guy was no better than the preachers and priests. Likely that was the point. Likely, that was why Seraphinite felt the need to keep from punching him, or acting on his impulses. The more he listened, the more he felt his anger slipping--at least to the point where he didn't feel the need to vent physically.
The benefits of having someone there to keep you from falling to your demons... Seraphinite gave a snort. Didn't really see himself as capable of opening up to someone enough for that. It was a nice thought, just... out of reach.
Giving a heavy sigh, he held out his hand to the Captain. "Seraphinite. For what it's worth... thank you, for speaking with me. No disrespect, I just need to try and think about some of it now. Clear my head a bit." A part of him just wanted space. Another..? Actually sort of hoped to speak to him again. When he wasn't in a fit, when he wasn't ready to spill over with rage and boiling blood.
Things to think about, he figured.
Torvil Can do a wrap-up with your post! owob Will chatter about where/when the next meeting should be~
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Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2016 5:54 pm
"A bit more than that, but I suppose that is somewhat apropos." Leucite said with a small chuckle as the young man spoke. Shaking his head, he listened to the Lieutenant. Seraphinite, was it? He made a note to remember that name, and seek him out at a later date. The boy needed help, and he wasn't going to get it on his own. At his request however, the captain only nodded. "Leucite," He said finally, taking the boy's hand and giving it a firm squeeze before releasing it. "You're dismissed Lt. Seraphinite. Go home, get some rest." He followed this up with a salute, a quick thing, he did not expect it to be returned. "I am sure we'll speak again."
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