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 Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2015 5:32 pm
"The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first..."
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Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2015 6:32 am
Fall Out Boy- My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light ‘Em Up)
"Oh, whoa, oh, oh,
whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh,
oh, whoa…
Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh,
Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa… ”
A strange harmony began to play over the P.A., sounding like people chanting. The lights turned dim, and red spotlights scattered across the stage as fire burned on the titantron.
“B-B-B-Be careful making wishes in the dark, dark
Can't be sure when they've hit their mark
And besides in the mean, mean time
I'm just dreaming of tearing you apart…”
The music that used to elicit a massive response from the audience was met with a chorus of boos. What was once one of the most popular entrances in wrestling now signaled one of the most hated men, Matthias.
“I'm in the de-details with the devil
So now the world can never get me on my level
I just gotta get you off the cage
I'm a young lover's rage
Gonna need a spark to ignite
My songs know what you did in the DAAAAAAARK! ”
A flash goes off in the middle of the stage as a ball of what looks like fire shoots out of the stage, up about five feet in the air, before coming back down, the flames separating to reveal that Matthias was the man behind the fire, sporting his trade mark flame pads on his shoulders, back, biceps, forearms, hands, calves, and thighs.
“So light 'em up, up, up
Light 'em up, up, up
Light 'em up, up, up
I'M ON FIIIIIRE!”
"Introducing first, representing the Sharpshooter Society, weighing in at 210 lbs, from Seattle, Washinton, he is the Phoenix Risen, MAAAAAAATHIAAAAAS!"
The vast majority of fans were fed up with Matthias and his antics within the society, especially after what was politely called "The Mexico Incident," after it leaked online, prompting rumors that Matthias and The Society were not welcome back in the country again. Though some thought it was hilarious and there was a growing trend of fans in SSS shirts in the audience, the overwhelming negative response drowned them out easily. Matthias was pulling his usual crap during his approach to the ring, blowing kisses and thanking the fans for their hatred, almost as if he thought they were cheering him on.
Matthias leapt up on to the apron, jumping again to the top rope, turning in midair before spring boarding in a 450 backwards in to the ring, landing on his knees in a kneeling position, before standing and raiding his arms, further igniting his flames higher and higher, signifying his own accent to greatness. The flames died out and so did his music, and Matthias, to most's dread, had a microphone...
"ELLO CHAPS!" Matthias started in an exaddurated British accent, this wouldn't be good...
"SO...I was across the pond lass week, having it out in a good ol' fashion fisticuffs with some tosser and his cheeky little totty, and you wouldn't believe the hullabaloo those dirty brown wankers were given' me mate and I. I mean sure I boxed her ears real nice and the lad could do sod all against us while we were taking the biscuit, but we had a larff, got pissed at the cleanest pubbe we could find, and Bobs your uncle!"
Matthias wasn't even sure what he was saying at this point, but it was funny, and he was enjoying pissing off another racial stereotype. So he continued.
"So now I'm stuck over here, and, I must say lads, this Limey little stinker of a country, oh, I'm sorry, "Empire", ain't that much better that's for true. I mean look at the lot of yah, yer dirty, damn oogly, and I fear that if I pointed toothpaste at any of yah, you'd all go a shambles and take a rum through the rubbish just to be more comfortable! Savi? Smashing. Now I've got to show this ol' bum Cartwright what's for, so as soon as I'm done here, the rest of yah can get on your bike, because your entire country smells like a puff the way you're pissing around acting like your royals still mean something."
That about did the trick, Matthias flipped the mic out of the ring and threw up the index and middle, flipping the bird to everyone he could before Cart's music hit.
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Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2015 7:28 am
Cartwrights Previous MatchMM#26 PromoMatthias has done a great job of pissing-off the fans inside the O2 Arena. The crowd grow louder and louder as they wait for their home town here to make his entrance. Crowd: "CART-WRIGHT! CART-WRIGHT! CART-WRIGHT! CART-WRIGHT! CART-WRIGHT!"
Commentator Guy: "It's an electric atmosphere! The fans are on their feet! They are cheering and chanting for the man they all paid to see!"
Commentator Troy: "I have no idea what Matthias was saying, and I've been watching Coronation Street and Eastenders all week to try and understand ye olde English better!"'Bout This City by Reps hits the arena, causing the fans to explode into cheers as Cartwright enters the arena. He is wearing a waistcoat, wrestling tights and boots with the United Kingdom flag across each of them. So English, and the crowd loves it!
 Announcer Justin: "Introducing his opponent....
....from LONDON, ENGLAND..."
Crowd: "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"
Justin: "...he is The Extraordinary Englishman....your home town hero....CAAAAAAARTWRIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!"Cartwright makes his way towards the ring, high-fiving the fans at both sides of the barricades who have flocked towards him. Cartwright points towards the many signs in the crowd as he steps on to the steel stairs and enters the ring. Cartwright points towards the fans, each side of the ring, earning him another round of cheers. Cartwright receives a microphone as his theme music fades-out.
Crowd: "CAR-TY! CAR-TY! CAR-TY! CAR-TY! CAR-TY!"
Cartwright: "Before we begin, Matthias, I have something that I want to say to you!"
Cartwright looks Matthias in the eyes, looking seriously at him.
Cartwright: "Now I have heard a lot of awful attempts at an English accent from my opponents, but yours has to be the WORST that I have ever heard!"
The crowd cheers, laughs and claps as Cartwright shakes his head at Matthias.
Cartwright: "What the bloody Hell were you going on about, sunshine?! Punching unwashed black women while they were masturbating?! Getting drunk in clean pubes?! Terrifying toothpaste?! The entire country smells queer?!"
Cartwright looks at Matthias and chuckles.
Cartwright: "You should feel right at home in a country full of fags, looking at the state of you, flaming phoenix boy!"
Crowd: "FLAMING f**! FLAMING f**! FLAMING f**!"
Cartwright: "When you refer to your Phoenix rising, you are talking about your p***s, right?! I wouldn't want anybody to get the wrong idea here! Is that what wrestling men does to you, Matthias?!"
Cartwright has a look of wonder on his face. He isn't sure that he wants to wrestle somebody who gets so excited by touching him, though of course, it would be perfectly natural because Cartwright is a handsome Devil!
Cartwright: "It doesn't bother me which side you bat for Matthias! It doesn't bother me that you've joined a Submission Sorority style porn stable either! But what does bother me is how you insult the greatest country in the world with your terrible accent!"
Crowd: "EN-GER-LAND! EN-GER-LAND! EN-GER-LAND!"
Cartwright: "For that, I must defend my great country against this foreign menace and send him back to where he came from.....Washington!"
Cartwright throws the microphone outside the ring as he waits for the bell, the crowd is fully behind him now!Commentator Guy: "On the previous Bad Blood Wrestling show, Cartwright defeated the current BBW World Champion Xavier X in a none title Crimson Falls Match!"
Commentator Troy: "While on the same show, Matthias Landry and J. W. Caliber defeated Gothica, showing that the Sharpshooter Society isn't one to be messed with!"Commentator Guy: "Both men would like to get a win tonight! Cartwright looks to get back into title contention with another win in his home town against another top BBW wrestler, while Matthias wants to continue to impress in his own right!"
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Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2015 8:27 am
Matthias rhetorically applauded and laughed at Cartwright's comeback, "Oh yeah, p***s jokes, I knew you Brits were high brow," he said as he rolled his eyes and the bell sounded.
Matthias took off the fire panels and set them at ringside so he could give Cartwright a proper thumping. Hell, his dad did it enough times, how hard could it be?
Matthias circled a bit, eyeing the whiley veteran before trying for a collar elbow tie up.
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Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2015 8:51 am
Cartwright's Dad was far too busy drinking pints in the pub to beat Cartwright....oh wait that's kinda playing into Matthias' hands!
As the two men circle, Cartwright responds with, "Are you trying to get a rise out of me?!" Darn his puns!
Cartwright accepts Matthias' collar and elbow tie-up. They try to show off their strength to the other, neither gaining an advantage. Cartwright tries to transition behind Matthias with his right arm for a hammerlock!
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Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2015 9:05 am
Matthias was going to try and push Cartwright in to the corner, but it played right in to his opponents hands, allowing Cart to hook him up in a hammerlock!
"Hey! Quit it!" Matthias shouted, holding his shoulder, looking for a way out. He reached for a rope to cling on to try and force the ref to break the hold...which would have worked if this wasn't BBW and rope breaks existed!
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Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2015 9:19 am
There are certain times when being in a BBW match has its advantages and one of those is when you have your opponent in a submission hold!
Cartwright could keep the hold on for as long as he could, but Cartwright is a good Englishman who believes in fair play and all that.
Cartwright releases his grasp of Matthias, who may be thinking that Cartwright doesn't understand the rules of the match after having so many matches inside a BBW ring, but it is to change tactics! Cartwright instead attempts a back suplex, while Matthias is in position for it.
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Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2015 9:27 am
Matthias was flipping out on the ref for not counting, and actually began counting himself.
"ONE...TWO...THREE...FOUR!" Cartwright let him go and Matthias turned to lay in to the ref for not doing his job.
"ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?! I WAS IN THE ROPES! WHEN IM IN THE ROPES, YOU BREAK THE DAMN HOLD! I'LL HAVE YOUR DAMN JOB FOR THIIIIII!"
Matthias was cut off by the surprise back suplex, landing him high and tight on his shoulder and neck, folding him up and landing him face down after all was said and done.
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Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2015 9:39 am
The referee must be breathing a sigh of relief after that tirade from Matthias! With it being BBW, he could have found himself in some deep trouble! Cartwright goes to hook the leg of Matthias for a pin attempt, which would probably please the referee.
Commentator Guy: "Matthias became distracted by the referee....doing his job?!"
Commentator Troy: "Maybe the referee is from London! Look how biased he is being against Matthias!"
Commentator Guy: "You're just as bad as Matthias!"
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Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2015 9:44 am
"1...2..." Matthias kicked out at two, a little dizzy, and upset.
"Goddamnit ref...don't count so damn fast!" Matty complained again, it seemed nothing could please him.
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Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2015 9:50 am
Cartwright looks at the referee and gives him a thumbs-up for a job well done, earning him cheers from the fans.
Cartwright: "I'll give you something to complain about, Matthias!"
What is Cartwright thinking? He points towards the fans, perhaps he wants Landry to meet his home town crowd up and close and personally! As if the BBW fans weren't rowdy enough on a normal night, this lot are also English!
Cartwright looks to grab Matthias and irish whip him over the top rope, to the outside, trying to put his plan into motion.
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Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2015 9:52 am
Matthias is whipped and falls over the top rope, hanging on to the top rope and landing on the apron, trying to save himself from being forced to interact with such unwashed masses.
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Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2015 10:02 am
Matthias lands with his feet on the apron as the crowd lean over the barricades with both of their arms out, trying to get a hold of him! They know the BBW rules and Cartwright is encouraging them to go as crazy as possible!
Cartwright sees where Matthias has landed. Cartwright leaps into the air, aiming a dropkick at the standing Matthias!
Commentator Guy: "Do you think Matthias has ever seen an English riot before?!"
Commentator Troy: "I don't know, but I heard that they can get pretty wild! It's not something you want to be on the receiving end of!"
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Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2015 8:59 am
Matthias eats the dropkick on the jaw and slowly tips over, falling down to the ringside mats as hordes of rabid English fans lean over the barricade barking at him in drunken slurs! It was terrifying, and Matthias crawled backwards, pressing his back against the apron, shouting at the fans.
"STAY BACK! STAY BACK YOU MONGRELS!! I swear if you people touch me I'll...I'll...I'LL HAVE RUSSELL BRAND SING COLDPLAY! I'LL DO IT! I HAVE HIS NUMBER!"
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Posted: Sun Sep 27, 2015 10:41 am
RUSSELL BRAND SINGING COLDPLAY?! NOOOOO!
As if either was bad enough on their own, Matthias wants to combine the two of them! He can't do that, surely he is not that evil a man?! He must consider his own sanity as well as the entire Earth's when making such threats!
Cartwright doesn't buy it! Cartwright thinks that Matthias is bluffing! As the crowd boos Matthias's terrifying words and tries to get a hold of him even more for uttering such words, Cartwright rebounds off the opposite ropes for a baseball slide to Matthias' back!
Commentator Guy: "I heard Russell Brand has some crazy new ideas for solving the worlds problems, Troy!"
Commentator Troy: "Why would anyone listen to some drugged-up, anorexic, skinny jeans wearing and unfunny c**t?!"
Commentator Guy: "He'd still be a better leader and funnier writer than Staff Member Russo!"
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