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 Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2015 6:05 pm
Merchant > you wanted a new outfit for work right?
Merchant > didn't you get a hole in your shirt
Merchant > did you ever patch that
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Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2015 6:08 pm
Mari > .....
Mari > .............
Mari > No.
Mari > Whatever ******** expensive gucci a** outfit you're planning on getting me for work
Mari > Do not.
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Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2015 6:34 pm
Merchant > ok I hear what you're saying and
Merchant > I'mma let u finish but
Merchant > consider this:
Merchant > (Attachment: Screenshot of Polyvore outfit. The prices have been cropped out.)
Merchant > what do you think
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Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2015 7:20 pm
Mari > oh, that's actually kinda cute.
Mari > idk if it would look good on me tho.
Mari > does it even come in my size??
Mari > you know what scratch all of that. knowing my luck it's probably really ******** expensive and I just doomed myself.
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Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2015 7:23 pm
Merchant > ok so you're gonna have to sign for a package tomorrow so be home by 6
Merchant > maybe we can have dinner
Merchant > in home dinner date sounds kinda nice I'll bring candles
Merchant > maybe wine
Merchant > definitely condoms
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Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2015 7:54 pm
Mari > sigh.
Mari > also, no wine. I think Shanta and the guy who sells it have some sort of deal because whenever I buy any, it mysteriously disappears.
Mari > so you're paying for that if we're getting that.
Mari > and that other thing. which I am deleting out of my messages because amy and susan go through my phone.
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Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2015 8:10 pm
Merchant > don't you 'sigh' me you need a new shirt at least after you
Merchant > yknow
Merchant > got a bullet through that one
Merchant > also I have a bottle of red s**t in the back of my pantry that I haven't opened yet so no time like the present
Merchant > also I always pay for the other thing do you know how many kinds I have at home??? a lot
Merchant > also that's creepy. change your pass.
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Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2015 8:27 pm
Mari > merch, that shirt wasn't even a sixteenth of the cost of what I'm assuming that outfit is. also getting shot was my fault, I was too ******** stupid to put up a turtle in time. rookie mistake. I deserve to get shot if I'm gonna pull embarrassing stuff like that.
Mari > I didn't even know you HAD a polyvore.
Mari > somehow that's kind of cute.
Mari > and ah, yes. red s**t. my favorite brand. we'll be dining in elegance that night. I'll cook mom's favorite recipe to go along with it.
Mari > I know but I still like reminding you. and idk what to change it to. it's not so bad, they usually make sure to really loudly inform me before snooping through. I actually think they use it to check facebook, but better safe than sorry.
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Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2015 9:01 pm
Merchant > No no no no no shut the ******** up
Merchant > The only reason you got shot is because that dickhead pulled the trigger
Merchant > It's of no fault of your own and if you tell me otherwise I'll tell you your wrong
Merchant > also I'm just piggybacking on the kid's account
Merchant > he's got pretty good taste actually...
Merchant > anyway
Merchant > it's damn good red s**t
Merchant > and actually kinda low in alcohol so you won't get AS drunk. and yessssss mari mom food. or well. Mari's mari mom food. close enough
Merchant > don't.... don't they have their own phones they can use to check facebook......
Merchant > maybe I should text you some really questionable s**t and then you can watch their faces next time they look through your phone
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Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2015 3:19 pm
Mari > eh, whatever. It figures you'd say something like that.
Mari > oh, scratch out the cute thing then.
Mari > I THOUGHT it was strange, considering your fashion sense is pretty bad.
Mari > AS drunk he says.
Mari > you think my tolerance would have gotten up by now. especially considering my muscle mass and s**t.
Mari > Maybe it just means I was always meant to be a pure woman.
Mari > it would only be mari mom food should I somehow become a mom.
Mari > Yeah, they do, idk, I don't understand young people nowadays.
Mari > s**t, now I feel old.
Mari > and that's a ******** brilliant idea.
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Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2015 6:49 pm
Merchant > ok let's test this s**t
Merchant > delete all my messages (maybe temp change my name too) before this are you ready
Merchant >
Merchant >
Merchant >
Merchant >
Merchant > man I hope my kidney fits as well as yours
Merchant > swapping after we got drunk last night was a good idea
Merchant > wanna swap something else next
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Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2015 2:07 pm
Mari > gallbladders sounds like a great idea to me.
Mari > I'm going to need ten shots of whisky before we do that, though.
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Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2015 7:20 pm
Merchant > I can do you one better than that
Merchant > I got like this hella strong vodka in the back of my cupboard right
Merchant > tastes like blacking out
Merchant > we get smashed with that s**t and we wake up in a jail cell with each other's gallbladders
Merchant > idk how it'd interact with the coke and weed but the fun's in finding out amirite
Merchant > you know what else sounds like a good idea to bring to this party??
Merchant > flamethrowers
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Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2015 3:53 pm
Mari > you know what goes great with flamethrowers?
Mari > oil ca
Mari > ljskdf
Mari > wdjf
Mari >
Mari >
Mari >
Mari > Hello! This is Susan, a friend of Marianne's! Would you please tell me your coordinates? (:
Mari > It's for no particular reason! I just have a pair of scissors with your name on it.
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Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2015 3:56 pm
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Reply
