Congratulations! On behalf of Destiny City University we welcome you to the class of…
His hand gripped the paper so hard it started to form into a ball. No matter how many times he went over it, it was the same thing.
“DAD!” His voice came out in loud anger. His father was in the other room, curled up on the couch with his sister. What they were watching, he didn’t know but he didn’t care anymore. This was the last straw!
Storming out of the kitchen in a huff, Jasper came into the living room, came around the couch and stood in front of the television. He was fuming so badly that both hands were in fists. Nearly throwing the paper at his father, he ignored his sister completely. “What the hell is the meaning of this?”
Calm eyes met his son’s as he reached out to pick up the paper, shifting his daughter from her resting place. Straightening it as best he could, James read it, looked back at his son and smiled. “Congratulations Son. You are a college student.”
Startled by the outburst Amelia’s hands fisted into tight balls clutching onto her fathers shirt. Like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming vehicle she froze, not sure what to do save for look up owlishly between the two.
Never in her life, that she could remember at least, had she ever seen Jasper this angry. Yes, he had been upset with her earlier this summer when she wandered away from the park but this… this was a whole different level of furious and to be honest, it was a bit scary to see.
“I see that. And we talked about this!” Jasper spat back out almost not seeing the little girl curled up next to his father. “I have no desire to go to college. There is nothing there that those stuck up researchers can teach me to make me a better person!”
“Now Jasper.” James's voice was suddenly becoming cooler as his hand reached out and placed a reassuring touch on his daughter. “How do you know that if…”
“Know it? I don’t need to! How does going to college turn me into a carpenter? Or does the idea of having a hairdresser for a son embarrass you that much?” Jasper waved his hands upwards looking now like a deer himself. “I’m sorry if it doesn’t fit your plans to be able to introduce your son to your friends as a white collared businessman. How the hell did I even get accepted in the first place?”
“You think this is all about me?” James finally spat, rising to his feet before moving his daughter. “Jasper think for once in your life! You have so much time ahead of you!” He brought his hands up, pleading with his son. “I applied for you knowing you wouldn’t. If you read the second page, there is a scholarship…”
“You applied for me?!?” Jasper’s voice nearly cracked. “How dare you! How dare you think you can continue to decide what is best for me without even consulting me! If Mom was still here…”
Jasper didn’t even finish the sentence when his father’s hand smacked him across the face.
‘Please stop’ she wanted to shout at them when her father got up off the couch but no words left her barely parted lips, only a whimper as her lower lip began to tremble.
Shocked by the sound of the slap and the silence that followed Amelia didn’t know what else to do other than go to her room. Clearly really upset by what was going on she scooted off the couch, with her stuffed bear held tightly, and ran around the back of the couch stumbling over her own feet down the hallway towards one of the few places she felt safe.
The door shut behind her a bit more quietly than a slam when undergoing a temper tantrum.
The two men were in a stare off. Neither one moved until they heard the door shut behind the only woman in the house. Then eyes started to blink and Jasper turned, walking not towards his sister but the front door. He needed to cool down. What was worse was if he went after Amelia, then it would just be another point made.
How many times did they get into fights about his mother. It seemed it was starting to happen more often too as Amelia aged. As he walked into the back yard, Jasper looked up at the night sky. “It’s not like I can leave either. Someone has to watch Amelia…” He sighed going out into the yard where their tire swing was. Sitting on it, Jasper gazed forward. “Mom, why did you have to go instead of him…”
James watched his son go. He knew better than to follow that stubborn idiot. So much like his mother.
Instead, he went after his baby girl. They had upset her and now, he needed to figure out how to make things right. Jasper was better at it. They were always together. But Jasper needed to grow up and stop being a second father.
There was a soft knock on the hollow wood door and inside the room Amelia rolled over on her bed so her back faced whomever was on the otherside.
“Meli…” She heard the muffled sound of her father's voice. Hugging the bear close she buried her face in its slightly matted fur to wipe her damp eyes. Silence was his only reply.
She was not yet a teen so worrying about what she might be doing in the bedroom was far from her father’s mind as he opened the door. “Meli. Sweety, are you okay?” He walked slowly knowing lord knew what was on the floor. “None of that was directed at you.”
He came closer and reached out a hand to her.
Jasper however sat on the swing, head in his hand as he cleared his head.
Even though she knew that the anger before wasn’t directed at her it didn’t stop Amelia from shaking her head no. She was both sad and confused and wanted to know why they were so mad and more importantly - “Why did you hit Jasper?”
“Mrs. Zion said, she said not to hit people.” Given that was a preschool teacher's attempt to get children to use words over actions when frustrated. “But you did…”
Amelia rolled over to look at him with red rimmed eyes and knitted eyebrows expecting some sort of explanation.
To say James was stuck at that moment was an understatement. He was dumbfounded as to what to do as he watched his daughter gaze back at him with tears in his eyes. Oh how she looked like his love…
”I need you honey.”
“He did but I did not strike back.” Came a young male voice that made James look back to see his son walking into the room. “Which is how to handle someone that picks acting physically over verbally.” Jasper looked at his father out of the corner of his eyes.
“If someone ever strikes you, you turn the other cheek. The person who can’t speak their feelings is the weaker.” Jasper whispered as he sat on the edge of her bed.
For several seconds Amelia seemed to be trying to process her brothers wise words. On one hand there was a lot of yelling, something she had gotten in trouble for doing before on a few occasions. But hitting her brother to get him to stop seemed far worse in her mind.
Sitting up, the young girl scooted closer to Jasper deciding on her own that her father was clearly in the wrong. Though she herself had only been spanked maybe once in her life, what he had done was clearly not okay. “Why are you mad at daddy?” she asked, hoping she would get a calmer reply than the outburst in the living room.
Jasper opened his mouth to answer but was quickly cut short by his father stepping in. “Jasper and I have been discussing a very big decision for many months now. Your brother has sadly inherited something from me I wish he would not have.”
His father caught his eye and gave Jasper a look. “And then Jasper brought up something that he knows he should not have.”
James was a smart man but at times it was easy enough to forget that he was talking to a four year old little girl. Using words she didn’t understand or talking in kryptic circles did little more than to confuse her further.
Eyebrows knitted, Amelia sat there silently trying to remember what her brother had yelled but came up blank and so she looked up at Jasper imploringly hoping he would explain what their father had meant.
Jasper’s eyes locked on his father. The man had not been there when he was four. He had next to little experience with young children and it showed. Again the young man felt himself wishing his mother was there instead of their father.
Oh how things would be different.
“Do you remember the photo you found in my room? The image of a young woman that looked alot like you?” he tapped her nose. “And me.” He dropped his hand.
Amelia nodded her head, “Yeah.” She had found it earlier that summer while he was working on one of his projects.
She had crawled up onto his bed watching Jasper widdle away at a piece of wood when she spotted the frame face down on the table beside him.
“Do you remember who I told you that was?” Jasper asked, now moving to scoop her into his lap.
Their father however, was looking away. He seemed in pain. A dark shadow was over his face and his hands were turning into fists. “Jasper please…” He started to say but his voice cracked.
“She has every right to know.” Jasper said quickly never taking his eyes off the little girl. “And you need to be her father.”
Again she nodded in response, “You said it was mommy.” He seemed a bit sad to talk about it then so she didn’t ask more about her. Instead she held onto the the photo committing to memory the smile on the woman’s face. Though the woman was a stranger to the little girl, at the time Amelia couldn’t help but hug the wooden frame.
Most kids back in preschool had two parents, a mother and a father, and more often than not it was their mothers that would come pick them up while she had Jasper since their father worked so much. Amelia had known for a while that her family was different it just never seemed important enough to ask why.
Jasper slowly brushed her hair back out of her tear stained face. He gave her a weak smile and opened his mouth to say something. But it was James who beat him to it. “That’s right Meli.” The older man walked towards the bed where both his children slept. Kneeling down in front of his daughter, he reached up to place a hand on the side of her cheek, his thumb brushing away a tear stain. “Momma is your guardian angel, my little one.” He said softly, tears forming in his eyes.
Oh how he missed his wife.
“She had to leave us before she could meet you. But she is who gave you your name. She loved you even before she met you.”
Jasper himself had to finally look away. Tears were in his eyes as well. “Dad, I’m…”
“It’s okay Son. I know…”
What hurt more than learning about a person she never had a chance to meet was the look of sorrow on both her brother and fathers face.
There was a hollowness in her heart, a feeling of absence she didn’t know how to fill. “Maybe…” tears blurred her vision then spilled down her cheeks when she blinked. “Maybe we can put her pictures up.” The harder Amelia tried to smile the deeper her frown became. “Maybe, maybe then it won’t feel like she is gone.”
For someone that meant so much to them, it didn’t seem right to have her hidden away. “Then we can be a family again.” Amelia added. It made her sad to see the two men fight especially since she loved them both with all her heart and even though their father worked so much, she knew he loved them both and was doing his best just as he often told her to do.
Jasper and James looked at each other as the four year old spoke. How was it that she could break the cold ice on both of them.
“Amelia, I think you are right.” James finally admitted, not hiding the tears in his eyes. “And I think it’s long past time we tell you more about her and how hard she worked to give us all the love she could possible give.”
Jasper himself inhaled. He knew in that moment what he needed to do. What his mother would have wanted.
He was going to college.
Sirene Naiads
Word Count: 1354
Shanyume
Word Count: 892
