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 Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2015 8:44 am
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Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2015 8:45 am
Broken was the best word to describe how she felt right now. This very moment as almost a blur to her everything happened so quickly that she didn’t even know how she was suppose to feel. She felt confused, hurt, distant, and weak. It had been several months since she last saw Gareth let alone spoke to him. Their last night together, he slept so peacefully and she found herself watching him with tear filled eyes. It was then that the decision was made that she left him for good. There was no going back to him or to whatever she thought they had. His goofy nature and his comments were something she would usually love to reminisce on, but right now all they did was hurt. She knew it was wrong to let him go. Keeping things from him especially with how she felt. It was obvious to her now that she loved him. She needed him.
Though right now, she was in a tough spot. She had traveled back to the cave her and Gareth had rested at quite a number of occasions. It was the one place that really spoke to her. The one place that was safe. A lot had happened to her in the passing months. She had found out she was pregnant, which meant the only stallion whose spawn they could have been was Gareth’s. That weighed heavy on her and was one of the mane reasons why she didn’t want to find him again. She felt embarrassed from it. How could they have done something so risky? In the end it left her with one healthy basket; one healthy baby that made it all worth it. The other sibling passed and Chosovi immediately blamed herself. She wasn’t taking care of herself properly and she should have done more to make sure the child survived. She knew it would be a tough thing to move on from and even then she didn’t know if she ever would.
She gently nudged the basket feeling it wiggle against her muzzle knowing this one didn’t perish as well. It nearly killed her to see one of her children die. It was so heart wrenching that she didn’t even know what to do with herself other then be strong for the surviving child. She didn’t cry and she hadn’t since the night she left Gareth. But mentally she knew she was on the verge of a breakdown. Emotionally she wasn’t able to handle all of this stress. All the change that was happening in her life so quickly; she was happy, but only partially. There was something missing; something that would make this whole entire family complete.
Gareth
She had wondered many times if she would ever see him again and knew she lost that chance. She could easily track him, but could he track her? Probably not. She was so stubborn that even if she wanted to look for him, she would never be able to talk herself into it.
“You will grow up strong..like your father.” She spoke softly to the basket as she curled herself around it as best as she could. She didn’t care that she had a child by Gareth. She didn’t care that this was something she didn’t expect. She loved her child and was going to protect her child fiercely if she had to. It was the only thing that connected her to Gareth. It was the only thing she could remember him by.
“I will tell you all about your father someday..” She said softly against the top of the basket. She was exhausted after hunting earlier that evening and now she was finally able to rest. She felt her eyes grow heavy slowly shutting them to the sound of the soft falling rain outside the cave. She knew she couldn’t sleep too long just in case something approached them, which meant she would have to defend herself.
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Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2015 1:13 pm
The rain had stopped hours ago but he still felt an unrelenting chill down to his very bones. His hooves dragged in the dirt as he walked, leaving little trails reminiscent of his lack of motivation. His heart was heavy in his breast, the great plate of metal having failed in its mission. For the first time in his life he felt truly feeble, as though he were not worthy of his knightly bloodline. He cared not for sport or glory anymore, all of that vanished the moment he awoke to find his beloved Chosovi gone. Without her the sun held no warmth, food had no taste and even the scent of the earth coming to life had left him. He hadn’t realized it then, but he she had been his life. From the very moment he had met her he felt something within himself begin to change. He loved her.
Unfortunately the tragedy of his loss was all too real as he came to the conclusion that he would have to let go. He had witnessed firsthand the toll searching for Nightmare had exacted on his mother, how it blinded her to all other avenues of possible happiness. Even so, he knew that he would never feel for another the way he felt for Chosovi. He didn’t think it possible to sink any lower, but the prospect of forgetting about finding her took him to even darker depths. He could not spend his entire existence searching for someone who, perhaps, didn’t want to be found. She had her reasons for leaving, and it may have been that she simply did not feel the same about him as he did her. After all, they had always talked about going their own way at some point; maybe he had just been selfish in believing that it would have been many more years before they parted. He simply didn’t know.
As though he were a lost soul seeking a beacon he had traveled to the cave that had started it all. Whether to proclaim it a tomb for his lost love, or to wallow some more he couldn’t determine. Either way, he had felt pulled in this direction for days and finally decided to give in. He examined the all too familiar opening, and a flood of memories threatened to fracture each of his ribs. How he had enjoyed the time he had spent with her. She had thawed his heart and made him realize what was truly important in life and he was grateful to her for that. He only wished he could have told her everything he had been feeling before she left, just so she knew she was loved. A rumble of thunder overhead jarred him from his thoughts and a small smile formed on his lips. Just like it was when they had first met.
Everything was the same inside, from the moist atmosphere to the moss clinging delicately to the walls. He could almost feel her presence all around him as he journeyed further into the cave, which hurt more than he thought it would. Soon he came to an abrupt halt as he noticed a figure much like that of his She-wolf’s curled around something. His eyes grew large as he stared through the dark and he felt himself begin to tremble. Was it truly her? He had dreamt of her often enough that he was certain he would not have been able to tell reality from illusion. She looked so very real to him, so soft in the dim light. He wanted to call out, but was too afraid that she would vanish to say anything. He was frozen, suspended in a moment between dream and reality.
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Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2015 6:47 pm
Feeling uneasy and like something was lingering over her, she opened her eyes emitting a deep growl from her throat. She never rested soundly because of the fear someone would attack her. She rose slowly to her feet tucking her basket under her clawed talons ready to attack if she needed to. She was a protective mare in general then add a basket to the mix and she was your worst nightmare. But right now she didn’t know who was in the cave. It was dark and she had just woken up so her vision was a little blurry. She advanced slowly towards the shadowy figure digging her claws into the dirt underneath her. She didn’t know who this was or what it was, but her vision was slowly becoming clearer. The last individual in her mind was Gareth. She never thought he would come back here for anything let alone to see her. She believed he would be off doing something else or finding someone else. She wasn’t important to him. But then when her vision cleared she saw who it was.
“Gareth…?” Her tone was still groggy with sleep.
The one stallion she would never think she would see again. She was ready to live a life of solitude with her basket at her side. But now seeing him again completely shattered that idea. Her body relaxed and she looked at him unsure of how to feel. She felt so many emotions hitting her at once. How could she tell him about the child? How can she tell him about the child that passed away? She didn’t even know if she could. She flicked her tail and stepped back away from him making sure the basket was beneath her once more. She had to scare him away. She had to frighten him so that he never came back. She had been dreaming of this day for months and here she was unable to speak her heart.
“Why are you here…? What do you want…?” The words came out harsh and she knew she hurt him from the way he flinched. She was a mess. Each day was an internal struggle for her that never seemed to end. “If you were looking for me then I suggest you turn around and leave..” She growled each word out giving him a narrowed glare that wasn’t convincing at all. She was holding back her emotions. Her tears were brimming her eyes and she could feel herself on the verge of a breakdown.
It wasn’t until she felt the basket under her wiggle that she really lost it. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she couldn’t stop herself once it started.
“Why..? Why did you have to come back? Why do you always make me feel…so uneasy? Why Gareth?” She had more questions, but she couldn’t even speak that well because of the tears. She looked down sobbing lightly to herself. She wasn’t only crying because of him, but because she lost a child. She hadn’t even shed a single tear until now. She had always acted so strong and put together, but she couldn’t keep the façade up anymore.
“You….you…are a father..” She nosed the basket forward so that he could see with her legs trembling to keep her up right now.
This was the most painful moment in her life. She felt so torn as to what she should be doing and hated that she was being so weak in front of him.
But she loved him and this was okay.
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Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2015 11:38 pm
She said his name and the stillness that had fallen over him was shattered. Everything was in a haze as he stared at the one he had been searching for this whole time. A lump that threatened to choke him began to form within his throat as he watched her relax from an offensive position. It was really her. She was really here. He felt the pace of his heart begin to quicken as her light form moved in such a familiar fashion. Each ripple of her muscle beneath her skin, the way her eyes flashed, and the malicious grace of her posture had him feeling as though he would fall to the floor. She was here. He had found her even though he had come here to bid her farewell.
The sharpness of her tongue jarred him from his thoughts and he found himself visibly wincing at her harsh words. Though shock was soon replaced with a flash of hot rage. He kept his mouth shut when in all reality he wished to yell at her, to tell her how much pain she had caused, and to tell her how stupid she had been for even asking him what he had wanted. The anger soon faded as he realized her words were not hurting him, because he knew she did not mean them. All he felt now was the desire to be near to her, even more so as his eyes lowered to the basket she had been so ardently guarding just moments before.
Her barrage of questions soon fell upon deaf ears as he slowly made his way toward her. The tears in her eyes glistened even in the dim light, and he swore his eyes had become moist as well. She was hurting, and she was confused but he had never loved her more than he did in this moment. It felt as though it took an eternity for him to cross that jagged, rocky floor. He had waited months for this, and had even begun to think it was impossible. Very tenderly he stepped around the basket, not for lack of love but because he needed to see her. The elation of being a father would come after he made things right with the mother of his foal.
He cared not if she would bite or scratch him, he would not allow a space to separate them at this time. When he finally reached her he gently arched his neck over hers and closed his eyes. The warmth of her skin, her scent, everything was intoxicating to him and he felt his chest shudder as he struggled to breathe. She was really there, right there with him. “Because I love you Chosovi.” He responded shakily. He didn’t care if she found his feelings disgusting or even turned him away, she had asked him questions and this was his answer. “You are the one thing that has made my life matter,” he paused, “I was lost without you. Sailing on a current of pure black with no light in sight. I love you. I always have, and I always will my She-Wolf.”
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