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Having a space all to herself was perhaps the best thing that could have ever happened to Cami. She planned to thank Gale, effusively, the next time that she saw him. This house wasn't hers down to its foundation the way that the one she'd been clearing out, piece by broken piece, would be but it was a good start. A clean, fresh start that gave her own psyche a strong foundation upon which to build a new mental house.

Otto and Maebe, between them, had smashed the windows and tore down the walls of the one she'd been building with them. The dark-skinned Hunter had thought that the home she'd built with them would have had stone walls instead of the sticks and straw that it turned out to be. Easily torn down, easily moved and shifted, but there had been glass involved. Glass that cut jagged pieces into her heart and her sanity for too long now.

Maebe was complicated and that was something that the redhead had understood for some time now. There were still things that needed figuring out, some tough choices that needed to be made, but that was for another time. Now was for Otto and clearing the air between them so that she could do more than want to march up to his room and deface his property with childish malice. It wasn't good for her, for him, or for anyone to have this bottled up inside of her.

Summoning what ragged shards of courage she still possessed the Sun Hunter sent a message asking for a meeting. Now she walked into the dorms a blaze of color contrasting with deepest black in her clothing. Again her hair was a rich shade of red but a darker color, quite like wine.

Spotting the blond she loved (past tense? present?) she sank into a chair opposite him. Perched on the edge she looked like she wanted to get up and run or, perhaps, to be anywhere but here. Yet it had to happen. She had to say this stuff. "Thanks for meeting me. I ah...know we're not really friends anymore but I appreciate your time." Far too stiff for Cami, awkward in the way she couldn't quite look at him, and the way her fingers toyed with the hem of her shorts.

Blue eyes flicked up towards his own as a hint of a smile traced around her mouth. Apparently the loved was not past tense but neither was the hurt or the anger. That was why she was here. Blowing out a breath she sat up a little bit straighter like she'd rehearsed in the quiet of her living room. And her bedroom. And her kitchen. Turning words over and over inside her head and out of her mouth until the language felt...well. Not right. It would never feel right to have this conversation with Otto but it felt accurate.

"We never talked about everything. And I don't want to talk about everything because I don't think that's something that will ever happen for a lot of reasons. But there are things I need to tell you and, if you want, you can tell me things too." Cami's voice was pitched low but confident, not wavering in her determination. "Mostly I think you need to know that you hurt me. I don't hate you but every time I see you I get angry because you hurt me and you didn't have to. I'm angry because you were my family. You let me believe that you would be my family, that you would be there for me no matter what, and you weren't. You never intended to be." Fingers that had been toying with fabric now clutched at them with the force of her emotions.

She would not cry. Not anymore. She was ******** determined.

"I thought you loved me, that you cared about me, and it has nothing to do with romance and sex. You were my family." An ocean of heartbreak in a single word. "And I'm sorry if my hurt and anger are inconvenient but they are there and they were making me sick inside. I had to tell you because I still love you and it won't go away." There. It was out.

Mostly.

Again her eyes flicked up to his searching for a reaction. A response. Anything.

Truth be told Otto was probably a hundred percent honest about his feelings in the moment that he had them. That was part of his problem, much the same problem that Cami herself had, and why they had ended up hurting each other in irreparable ways. Both of them felt strongly, expressed strongly what they felt in the moment, and didn't much think about six skips down the path. Living in the moment and living for the now were wonderfully idealistic concepts that did not translate successfully to the real world.

Ever.

Some of the tension eased at the simple acknowledgment of her feelings and what had gone wrong. The line of her back and shoulders eased into something more natural as her chin came up with that hint of smile ghosting around the edges of her mouth. "Sorry isn't always an empty word. Sometimes it helps more than you think it will. And, if it helps you too, I don't think that you meant to use me. I don't think you meant to hurt me but you got to a point to where you couldn't avoid it. I think you could have avoided it if you'd told me what was wrong sooner." Hands curled around her elbows as the woman leaned forward to rest on her knees, kind to a literal fault.

It surprised her to hear him call her a friend. "Do you really still think of me as a friend? I thought...well. I thought you wanted nothing to do with me. Part of why it hurt so much." Now her gaze was tinged with a little bit of hope, hope that she wasn't quite aware of. If she had been Cami would have been angry at herself. Setting yourself up for pain and failure? Not a great life choice, overall.

Talking did hurt. It hurt like rusty knives were carving their way through her chest and stomach but it was necessary in order to move on. The air surrounding the two of them had been so thick as to nearly choke out what had been an important, vital friendship. Cami didn't honestly know if she could be only a casual friend to the man sitting across from her because her feelings had been, and honestly still were, far too strong for something like that. The scar tissue was extensive.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Leaping before looking should have been an Olympic sport and Camille Ryland should have gone for the gold. Probably one of the few people who could have given her a run for her money in that sport was sitting across from her. Fingertips ran over the dry, slightly ashen ridges in her elbows as Cami went quiet with trying to think her way through a relationship for a change.

What she wanted to ask was if he was happier without her in his life. Otto might have thought of her as a friend still but Cami wasn't sure that they were at all going to be close friends ever again. Could she handle that? Was it worth trying to work through it? "Why do I scare you so much?" It was all she could think of to ask.

She needed to understand.

Again her lips quirked in a bit of a smile though this one was less kind and full of self-loathing. "Well, you can't say you don't know me better than almost anyone. I think I'm always going to want that back. I don't think I've ever been as happy as I was up there with you. But I know I can't make you want that again. I don't know what changed your mind and I'm afraid it was something I did." Blowing out a long breath Cami looked down and away again.

"I'm scared too. Scared that I let you see all of me and that you didn't want me anymore because it was too messy. Not pretty or comfortable enough. Scared that Maman was right and you shouldn't ever let anyone see anything but what they want to see." A major part of her current problems with Maebe. Cami hadn't hid her feelings from the Moon Hunter even a little bit and had sent yet another person running from her full-tilt.

"I tried to hate you." Five slow words, chosen carefully. "I did, I think, for a little bit. Felt like I was forcing the feeling when really I just was confused, and angry, and hurt. Scared." Hands clutched tighter around her elbows, picking lightly at her skin with nails that had been bitten at recently. "I think at the end of the day, when it's all said and done, I just miss you."

Yeah. That was why she had been afraid. Had been right to be afraid. Going forward it would be better. There would be no more mess so that everything could be smooth and without wrinkles. Soft, sweet, and easy that would be Camille. Reaching out she took Otto's hand and squeezed it once, a full smile coming to her face, one he would have been used to seeing on days when she'd been at her bubbliest. At her happiest.

Too bad it was one hundred percent fake.

"Hating and being hated aren't easy for anyone which is why it's not for me. I'll stick to delight. Suits me better." Pushing up from the chair she lingered for a moment, hardening her resolve and her facade. "Thank you for talking to me, Otto. It put a few things back into place for me that I really needed." Cami couldn't always be honest when it came to her emotions but she would never lie with her words. She was damn near fey with the way her concept of honesty had been developing.

Halfway between standing still and leaping forward she turned back. "Oh, and I'm sure you know but Gale Gentry let me stay in his house down in town. Feel free to drop by or call me. I'm always here for you."