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 Posted: Thu May 21, 2015 8:02 pm
It's not like Felicia hated the Underwater Observatory. If she still had a laptop, it would be amazing time to get things done. But hers was still out of commission, and Dwight was refusing her the use of one of his, because of reasons that started with homoerotic and ended with defacement. Well, whatever. She could still have her fun. On the table was a spread of various hotties, picked up from ye olde google and deviantart while on her last leave. When her duty partner arrived, Felicia flashed them a thumbs up without even looking up to see who it was. "You h-h-have a grave mission, s-soldier," she said to a particularly nice picture of a burly bearded shirtless guy, "I need your h-help picking out which h-hotties to use for my g-game."
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Posted: Thu May 21, 2015 8:35 pm
Rep was not much of a fan of the underwater observatory unless he managed to get some kind of duty trading arranged which meant he was in there at the same time as Harrison. Short of this occurring he was generally bored out of his ******** mind and would never bring his laptop with him in case something horrible happened and it got ******** over.
As it was he was carrying a compilation of Watchmen and sat down, looking slightly concerned at the amount of skin spread out in front of his duty partner.
"Your game?" It was amazing how much male gamer disdain he managed to fit in a few syllables. You could almost hear his immediate assumption that she had no art team, no credibility, no actual training and was basically just a little girl who'd taken a few coding classes.
"Games only have semi-naked women."
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Posted: Thu May 21, 2015 9:27 pm
"Oh!" She looked up at Rep, pushing her glasses up with two fingers, brightening immediately. For all the hate her cousin seemed to have for him, none of it really ever managed to settle into Felicia's bones. Most hate didn't. "H-hi Rep!" Clearly, she thought his opinion mattered, and was excited to get his two cents. "D-don't be silly, have you never heard of v-v-visual novels? They're usually d-designed to romance one gender, but I h- hate choosing, so." She grinned, spreading her hands. There were buxom beauties of all hair colour, flat chested girls with and without booties, and men that ranged from skinny twink with tight butts to manbun bait to the androgynous. It was clear that her taste was not, in fact, that discerning. She'd worked freelance with guys who'd scoffed at her before. That wasn't a big deal; especially due to the armor of being absolutely oblivious to it that seemed to wrap around her. "Pick a f-few!"
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Posted: Thu May 21, 2015 10:06 pm
Rep tended to like oblivious people, it was nice having someone he could stoat sarcasm and insults off of without them getting all up in arms and giving him a sensitivity lecture.
"What like dating games? Those hentai ones? I played one where it's on like a train and you err -" he cut himself off.
"So. I need to pick some?" he mercifully didn't seem too put off by the proposition and thoughtfully looked over the available selection with the eye of a connoisseur. "Hmmm."
He looked through choosily. "Well I like this guy." he said, pointing at a particularly jailbait looking blonde guy. "But he's got too much a**. This one's good too." Another youthful looking adrogene got pointed out.
"In bitches I like big jiggly curves though. Hips that won't quit and big tits." he gestured at a few examples of these, seeming to favour darker hair colour in women. He didn't bother to explain that in his logic this was because he considered blondes and redheads naturally stupid and easy to ********, making the darker haired women more of a prize trophy to sleep with, like a polar bear pelt in contrast to a sheepskin. "I ******** hate shelf asses in any gender. Hips - aye, Tits - aye, sticky out asses, naw. I hate a jiggly arse on a guy, I like them chiseled, but on a woman when you are ******** them you want to see the ripples where it counts and the come-hither sway when they walk."
One of the unfortunate manbuns got pointed out. "Hate this bullshit man, hipster written all over it. Trying to look ******** vintage lumberjack, just makes me want to ******** pull their hair and no even in the good way. And too much hair on a guy just... naw. No way. It'd be like ******** like, an old guy. I'm no into robbing the grave."
He looked them over, still critical. "I'd still call all of these like... an eight at best. There's no perfect overlap of things."
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Posted: Mon May 25, 2015 8:50 pm
Felicia was a level ten Obliviomancer: not only did she really, honest to god not get it most of the time, but when she did, her brain had a tendency to let inconvenient information fall right out of it, like a sieve with a trap door built right into it, rendering it almost ********," Felicia confirmed, beaming all the while. "M-market research, you know." She produced a small pad of paper seemingly from nowhere (actually: her pockets) and began jotting notes under a heading of "MALE 1" in big, bold letters. He was pickier than Felicia, and in this case, that was a good thing. She couldn't feasibly have fifteen routes. That'd be insane. "T-thanks! What'd m-make a ten for you?" Her glasses glinted a little, in the light.
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Posted: Mon May 25, 2015 10:05 pm
Rep tapped his chin. "A ten? Man that's a ******** toughie. I didn't even think I had a ten until I met Ace. Jordan is hot as ******** too."
He fell silent for a short time, clearly wracking his brain for what qualities were essential to be a ten on his particular scale. "Hmm. Well there's a lot of important things. For like, me, you know? I mean I can't ******** speak for anyone else but.."
Deciding to start at the top he said. "Hair's important, I really ******** like blonde hair, it's exotic sort of, it like smells like good breeding, it's hard to keep it cause its recessive, you know? It has to be like, soft and shiny, clean and good smelling with like shape and bounce to it, ******** life. Ace has short hair but its always soft and great, same went for Jordan. Well maintained. Same goes for women but blonde women are slutty or bimbos, it always feels like a porn actress rather than like genuine ******** beauty, it's trying too hard." He gestured to his eyes. "For eyes, I like blue, but I don't care, as long as they are like. Proper expressive and honest, I can't stand shifty ******** or weirdness. All features like I don't care too much, like as long as they wear their faces well? Like, no goony big noses or wonky eyes and stuff, but confident. I don't care if they are soft or chiselled. I don't like beards when they are big hobo or lumberjack things, I prefer to see the throat and the chin. I like throats."
"The bodyyy errr..." he trailed off thoughtfully again. "Well, again I like them lean, lean but with muscle. No too much muscle. I've got too much muscle, I'm like a three or a four or something, even less maybe. It has to be like the kind of muscle that surprises you, that they wear like a skintight sleek tailored outfit. No chunky or awkward, sort of like a cat where its all like, function over bulk and effort. Twink-ish I guess but no in that gawky teenage way, they have to be growing into their adulthood proper with edges and the youthfulness going away. For women its similar but I want curves, I want hips to hold onto, titties to feel, shapes and forms, a wee bit of a tum is just ******** fine with me, I like the jiggle. Tits need to be big but proportional, no fake. Always though they have to move like a ******** purebred, like a ******** showdog, they have to carry themselves like they know what kind of weapon they are, all power just under the surface. Good skin's a ******** must, no freckles - I hate gingers. " he made a vague gesture of dismissal. "They cannae be taller than me if they are a guy, if they are a b***h I don't care, I like controlling taller women, its a power kick."
"Arses like I said, lean and muscled but no bony for the guys or soft and rounded but no ridiculous for the bitches. Its got to be just ******** right and soft to the touch. No hairy." He hummed. "Can't be a ten either without a great c**k or fanny." he gestured his hands several inches apart. "Got to be beautiful all over, nae ******** massive meat flaps for the bitches nae mutant dongs for the guys. No too ******** big either, I want to be able to imagine it in use without having my own ******** hard on die of cringe. Bit of a subtle curve is a bonus, don't care if its cut or no."
"I like tattoos a bit, but no too many, too many is a turn off. Scars are hot but only if they aren't from like an ex girlfriend or something skeevy like that."
He leaned back with a satisfied nod. "I guess meeting all of those things along with a personality I didn't hate at all would be a ten... I'm a wee bit picky. Personality couldn't be ******** loud and obnoxious or like condescending in that schoolteacher way... unless you were going for some kind of <********> thing, then yeah, have them be moral and preachy but dominatable, that would make it even ******** hotter for me. Anything that looks like something that could be defiled or corrupted, too like pure or fancy is offputting, I don't want them looking down at me."
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Posted: Tue May 26, 2015 6:47 pm
She could barely write fast enough to keep up with Rep's thoughts. She made a little bit of a face, every now and again, mostly when he was being a little more racist than the Avenue Q garden variety of Everyone's a Little Bit Racist. Every fact he listed, Felicia realized, was nearly in diametrically opposition to her own appearance. It wasn't the kind of thing she got self-conscious over; compliments were a lot harder to deal with than being anyone else's idea of a 3 or less. Everyone had preferences, and that was okay. Some people just had, like. Really particular preferences. Like, really particular ones. With every detail Rep rattled off, the acceptable options of his perfect ideals narrowed down further and further, like whittling a perfectly blank block into his idea of perfection. She tried to do the same, to imagine any sort of preference besides "attractive", but came up kind of...well. Short. Huh. That was a thing to be poked at later, then, with time to try and actualize what she found attractive besides looks and smarts. "You got really l-lucky, huh? W-with Harrison?" Felicia had her chin propped up on both hands, elbows on the table, beaming.
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Posted: Fri May 29, 2015 9:39 am
"So ******** lucky." Rep said grimly. "I didn't think I'd ever ******** meet anyone who lived up to my standards. They are really ******** high and I was pretty sure too ******** high. Funny how s**t works out though I guess."
He looked over the pictures again and tried to find places where Harrison didn't fit that idealised picture he'd painted. he couldn't be sure if he'd built the ideal around Harrison in some ways rather than the other way around. "It wouldn't matter to me though if like, tomorrow he was some ugly woman. Love makes you pretty ******** blind. Either way he seems pretty ******** perfect to me."
He shrugged. "At least most of the cunts on the island are hot as ******** supermodels."
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Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2015 10:01 pm
Felicia (poorly) hid a giggle behind a bony hand, looking absolutely charmed. "I d-don't know if I'll ever understand that," she mused, thumbing a picture of a buxom redhead fondly. "I don't think I l-love anyone. I like h-having people's time, and if we've got b-b-blood relation, I've bonded with them. But there's just nothing p-past that. I g-guess I just don't get real attached, to like... anything." She straightened up, and made a face like she'd just swallowed a lemon. "S-sorry. I ramble. And no s**t, I t-t-think it's literally g-genetics. You're all so ******** hot."
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Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2015 8:08 am
Rep nodded thoughtfully as he added. "I didn't think I would love anyone either. And I don't even mean that in some ******** patronising way, like "maybe you'll come round someday" or that kind of bollocks. Some people just don't need love I guess. I like ******** so many people and felt nothing really for any of them, the sex would be over and straight away I would be like what the ******** have I done, who the ******** is this and want rid of them." Then shaking his head. "Though if I had blood relations." And on balance it seemed like he did though he had no idea who. "I think I'd hate them. It's complicated."
He did laugh though. "And don't count me in the ******** hot classification, I'm no in the ******** league of half the cunts on this island. I'm hardly even playing the same sport."
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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2015 2:28 am
With rapt attention, Felicia listened to Rep talk, better than she ever listened in school. "I g-g-guess that gives me hope, then. That you f-found it. somehow. I t-think I'd be happy to get laid, b-but I know where I s-stand, it's not a b-big deal." She waved a hand. "It's not s-so bad. He's a g-good guy with a lot of, l-like, Opinions, with a c-capital O." Felicia gathered up a few of the lesser hotties, stacking them together neatly against the table. She gave Rep a look. "You're the s-s-scary and s-skeevy kind of hot, but you're still ******** hot."
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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2015 3:32 am
"Getting laid is easy enough here on sudden death island. I'm just like never say never about anything, maybe s**t won't happen, maybe it will, I'm always like just be happy in the moment, maybe good s**t will come, maybe it won't." He made a face at the mention of Dwights opinions. "And no s**t. Most of his opinions are that I'm the worst ******** person ever to exist."
At the comment on his appearance Rep barked with laughter. "Good yin." he said as if to a joke. "Absolute ********' bullshit if you pardon my French. Sure I've got muscle, but that's a job perk and if all it took was muscle to be good lookin' then every c**t would be a ******** model." he shook his head, assuming that Felicia was mostly just trying to be kind. "It's fine though, I'm no bothered about being well ...this. The ******** freckles and everything I'm used to, its what I am and it's practical, if no pretty."
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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2015 11:29 am
Now it was Felicia's turn to look utterly skeptical. (Although she might remember it, later, when Nora teases her, when Felicia takes a deep breath and sends her a message, hopeful.) She pleaded forgiveness with a silent little shrug. She loved her cousin but he was wrapped up in how things should be, with ideals that exhausted her to even think about. One day, she knew, she might disappoint him, too. "What's a y-y-yin?" Her brows knitted behind thick glasses. "I'm n-not talking about you b-being a hardbod, it's--" He would probably take it as hesitation, or running out of empathy. She just didn't say the words 'raw, savage sex appeal' out loud.
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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2015 11:56 am
"A yin. Er. Yin. One? Like ha ha good one." He put on a bizzare formal English accent in his explanation, before giving her a completely puzzled look as she argued it wasn't to do with the muscle. As far as Rep was aware, his muscle tone was just about the only thing that could have been considered conventionally attractive, and even then his stature was fairly short and rather awkwardly proportioned, the scars didn't help much either. It was lost on him, so he just shrugged.
"It's fine." he said, halting her with a hand. "It's fine. Either way, there are a lot of unfairly hot ******** running around." She got a curious look though. "What about you? What do you like?"
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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2015 12:02 pm
"Oh! Huh. The m-more you know." And thank god he spared her the embarrassment. "Yes," she emphatically agreed, slamming her hands on the table. " So m-many." The excitement turned baffled when he turned the tables on her. "To b-be honest, I'm not picky. I'm about f-fifty-fifty on dudes or ladies, or f-fine w-whatever in between. I like them b-both skinny and muscular and c-chubby. T-tall or short. H-hipster or punk. But, I mean, just who I'd h-have sex with doesn't mean a lot. For me t-to like a person, r-romantically, I d-dunno. They'd p-probably have to be smart. I c-can't stand d-dullards. Not like, s-saying they need to b-be a genius, just not. Like. A dumb b-brick, yeah?" she tapped her blunt nails against the table. "But like I s-said, I've never f-felt that way about anyone. I just b-boned my boyfriends cos they were there. Oh, and n-no clingy. I h-hate clingy. I think my l-list of 'don't w-want' is probably easier to use than the other way around, y'know?"
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