|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dark_Hunter-Angelic_Tears Crew
|
 Posted: Mon May 18, 2015 9:52 am
The Library
The Guild has a grand library at its heart, where members, staff, and even normal citizens can come to find knowledge on almost anything. The bookshelves are lined with everything from heavy literature and scholarly texts, to comics and children's books, each section kept in perfect order by the Pokemon who work there. There are plenty of work tables and comfy chairs as well, for the scholar who is looking for a quiet place to review his literature. While they don't demand absolute silence here (since to do so would prohibit the sharing of knowledge between learners), it is requested that any conversation is kept at a respectful volume so as not to disrupt those who are reading.
If you need help finding anything, the staff will direct you to the Head Librarian: a Frogadier who spends her days among the stacks and has kept track of the books for so many years she knows the location of almost all of them by heart; she can also help you access them if need be, as she's able to climb to the top of a bookshelf and return with your book faster than even some of her Flying Type staff members. If it's something even she can't find however, her right hand Pokemon will have the answer--a bibliophilic Porygon-Z who has everything memorized, from the text of the books to their identification numbers. Claudius and Serrin can also be found here occasionally, as both share a passion for reading, though their work rarely gives them the opportunity to attend to such hobbies.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 18, 2015 11:26 am
Erinn Erinn dragged himself into the library, doing his best to remain unnoticed by anyone present. The Paras was still carrying the reward money from the treasure hunting group assignment in a parcel on his back, having been unable to return it to his Team Room for fear that he'd run into Silver. Erinn didn't really feel like facing anyone at the present moment, but he especially didn't want to see anyone he knew personally. With his luck Riley would show up now and he'd have a breakdown right in front of the Espeon, which would just be the icing on the cake of this depressing chain of events.
The Paras found a quiet corner of the library with a set of chairs and scrambled up onto one, allowing his sack of gold to slide onto the cushy seat beside him. Putting his head in his claws, Erinn allowed his eyes to water up with the tears that he hadn't shed as of yet. What was he going to do now? His former teammates had their own Team but he was on another Team now and they were just as important as his former Team had been, right? That's what Era would tell him, he knew it was true, but he'd never had her kind of wherewithal. He was just one very timid Pokemon who didn't know how he fit into the world anymore. Everything was backwards and upside-down and he didn't know what the right thing was anymore. And worst of all, he couldn't mention it to anyone involved--if they saw him like this then he knew he would lose it entirely. He just wished he could back out and go home and pretend none of this had ever happened. "Why did I ever think this was a good idea?" he moaned, burying his head in the cushy arm of the chair miserably.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dark_Hunter-Angelic_Tears Crew
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 18, 2015 11:55 am
Jessica had decided to visit the library purely on a whim. There hadn't been any particularly strong drive or inherent necessity in the visit, there was simply idle curiousity. She had found a few things on the Trinity Peaks and while her luck had been far from exceptional it did spark a sort of curiousity in her. She wondered if there was more on the subject. Some sort of records that would speak of what had happened there. She didn't think it was likely but there was little else for her to do unless she wished to deal with a no doubt upset Tobias so it was appealing enough. Her only detour had been the time she needed to wash the dirt off of her body.
She had noticed Erinn as soon as she entered. She didn't recognize him, why is he was there or what he was feeling, beyond his status as a guild member at least, so at first she was content to ignore him. It was slowly that her desire to tend to him slowly grew as she glanced over from time to time. The flip of a page, a reference in the appendix, every once in a while she looked over at his immobile and, more and more apparently, distressed form before she closed the book, returned it and then walked right over to him and asked the question that needed to be asked.
"Are you alright?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 18, 2015 7:54 pm
Erinn Erinn had been crying for quite some time before he was approached, so his eyes were red-rimmed and watery when he looked up to see the Charmander who had spoken to him. She looked a little concerned, which was to be expected he supposed, considering his emotional state at the moment, but the sympathy didn't make him feel much better. The Paras felt a pang of guilt for making the stranger worry about him, regretting that his misery had to be shared by anyone. He'd been hoping to avoid troubling anyone with his nervous breakdown, but apparently it wasn't meant to be. Wiping an arm across his eyes to clear his vision and get a better look at his companion. Unfortunately when he thought about how to answer her question, all of his worries came crashing back down again, and he felt the helplessness threaten to overwhelm him once more. He hadn't thought he had any more tears left in him, but his eyes welled up again when he tried to speak. "N-N-No..." the Paras said at last, aware that lying wasn't really an option here. "I just--I've managed to ruin everything," he said miserably, looking down since he couldn't see through his tears regardless. "What are you supposed to do when everything turns out wrong?" It was more a rhetorical question than anything, but it was something he had to voice regardless. Erinn wasn't looking for answers, but he didn't know what else to say--everything was a mess, including his own thoughts.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dark_Hunter-Angelic_Tears Crew
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 18, 2015 8:08 pm
Robin
Jessica
Jessica reached forward, hesitated briefly but then set herself to her course of action. She reached forward and with an open palm, gently patted Erinn right on the mushroom. There was nowhere else that she could pat him. God, she hoped that that wouldn't make this weird. She didn't know much about Paras but she didn't think the mushrooms were very sensitive or important in that kind of sense or anything but she genuinely hoped it wasn't the social equivalent of his crotch. It was hard to tell.
She then uttered three, very simple words that were perhaps the most important ones she would say. "You fix it."
It was just as simple as that. No matter what the Paras had done, no matter what had happened, the only response to "everything is ruined" is to fix it. There was simply no other option.
But of course, if he knew how to fix it in any simple capacity he wouldn't be there crying so she followed up the best way she could. "What happened?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 18, 2015 9:29 pm
Erinn Erinn flinched back from the pat on his mushroom, though it was more out of surprise than anything else; he did his best to forget about those parts of his body, due to their parasitic nature, so any reminder of their existence was a bit startling, especially when it was accompanied by physical contact. He calmed down after a brief moment, appreciative of the Charmander's efforts though he didn't know exactly how he was supposed to interpret the instruction to fix what he'd done wrong. It was painfully clear that he didn't know how to solve the issue he'd been faced with, and every reminder of that fact made the problem seem bigger and more intimidating than before. He'd been doing so well with his anxiety too, and now this--the thought made him sick to his stomach on top of the misery he already felt.
He looked up when the Charmander asked her question, realizing that he could answer it, unlike so many of the questions he'd been asking himself. Erinn didn't really want to burden the stranger with his whole story, but she had asked, and as much as he wanted to solve this on his own, the Paras desperately needed a friend to help him through it. "I made a terrible mistake," he said after a long pause, struggling to speak past the lump in his throat. "My Team--not my current Team but my Team from years ago--we stayed together after the Guilds disbanded the first time. But then some of us started to go off on our own, and I did too when I heard that there was a new Guild. I wanted to come back, but no one else I asked did, so I came here on my own and I joined a Team. But then,"--the little bug's voice cracked--"then I found out that two of my Teammates joined the Guild too. And they're on their own Team and I'm on mine and..." The Paras trailed off miserably, feeling the sickening twist of guilt once more. "And now I'm stuck. I can't go back to my old teammates because I need to be with my new ones, and I can't feel right about being with my new teammates because my old ones are...they're my family," he whispered, "And I'm not working with them anymore." That was about the gist of it anyway. Of course, his story had been so pitchy and broken up by unbidden sobs that Erinn could only hope his companion understood enough of it to answer her question. His loyalties were split in two and it was utterly catastrophic in the poor Paras's mind. "I should never have come back..." he said sorrowfully, replacing his head in his arms. It was all he could do to keep from letting the panic overwhelm him, which was why he had opted for the sadness instead.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dark_Hunter-Angelic_Tears Crew
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 18, 2015 9:54 pm
Robin
Jessica
Jessica listened patiently for Erinn to speak. She waited patiently amidst the pauses and the cracks as he struggled to tell his story. She waited patiently as his story came to a close and then for a moment she waited for something else. Upon realizing that that was the entirety of his problem the only thing that she could think to herself was, that's not a problem.
For Jessica, that kind of thing was normal. People who worked for different groups made friends and split up. Sometimes they would reunite, sometimes they would be friendly competitors and sometimes they would even be enemies. It was all a part of the work and it wasn't something that really bothered her. It was simply part of the expectation. She was sure she would experience it here too, sooner or later. Parting, moving, changing sides, changing opinions... these things were all a natural part of the flow of time. It was inherent to the work. There was no reason to be upset about it.
Fortunately for Erinn, Jessica was introspective enough to not directly state any of what she had thought. Surely there was something she was missing, or surely there was something the Paras hadn't told her, or surely there was some other special circumstance. You didn't have this kind of a sobbing breakdown over a mildly awkward reunion. It just didn't make sense.
So she continued it in the only way she could: by trying to guess the problem. "Are they mad at you?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue May 19, 2015 8:01 am
Erinn "No!" Erinn moaned, feeling utterly dejected, "They're not mad at me at all!" That was, perhaps, the worst part of it all. If they were mad at him he could ask for their forgiveness, and reconcile all of this that way. He was used to having to piece together everything after he made a mistake, because he made so many of them it was unavoidable. This was a mistake too, he'd been too anxious to leave and had overlooked the two teammates who did choose to join up again, and thus had broken up their family without even trying. And they weren't upset with him for it, at least Keiran wasn't. And Eon and Sereni weren't. And knowing Riley he wouldn't be. And he couldn't even imagine Silver getting mad, though he didn't know the other Espeon as well. Which meant that it was all on him. They were all too nice to be mad at him for what he'd done, but he knew that he'd done wrong here, and there was no way he could apologize for the mistake because he couldn't forgive himself for it.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do," he said after a moment, unprompted. "You're supposed to be loyal to your Guild above all else, but just after that you're supposed to be loyal to your Team. I...don't have one Team. I have two. And if I'm in a situation where they both need my help, how am I supposed to choose one over the other?" It was the question that had been tugging at his mind before Keiran had showed up, and after he'd seen the Riolu his thoughts had been utterly consumed by it. In a world like this one, where God could turn against his creations at a moment's notice, there was no telling when such things could happen, and it was in Paras's nature to dwell on such things before they occurred, so he'd be able to handle them when they came to pass. There was no doubt in Erinn's mind that his fear was a highly probably occurrence, and that knowledge was what made it seem unbearable when he found himself faced with an unsolvable scenario like this.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dark_Hunter-Angelic_Tears Crew
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue May 19, 2015 8:55 am
Robin
Jessica
The gears in Jessica's head whirred away ceaselessly in an attempt to make some sense of the problem. His friends were part of another team and he felt guilty over that since he apparently felt guilty because he was with his new partner instead of with his old team, yet he would feel too guilty to leave his new partner for his old team. But none of them were mad at him... and none of them seemed to even really be asking him to do anything at all. At least, it didn't sound like that. So then the problem was... well, the problem was entirely in his head. He was feeling guilty over absolutely nothing.
"There's nothing to be guilty over." Jessica planted a hand firmly on the ground as she lowered herself to sit. She might be here for a bit. "Teams split up and allies find work elsewhere. It's part of the job. It's up to you to decide where you need to be the most and that sounds like your new team. Your friends came here, just the two of them, ready to form a team. You might be able to help but they wouldn't have done that if they weren't ready to do it without you."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue May 19, 2015 10:09 am
Erinn The Paras turned his head when his companion sat down, uncertain how to respond when she told him not to be guilty. There was every reason to be guilty here, since he'd created the problem in the first place. Still he listened to the rest of her explanation silently, sniffing quietly as she reasoned his problem out for herself. When she presented him with her conclusion however, his eyes widened in shock at her words, and his reaction was so visceral he physically distanced himself from the Charmander by taking a few steps back. They were ready to do it without him? As in, they didn't need him at all? Unknowingly, his companion had just opened up an entirely different strain of anxieties, ones that he'd managed to put to rest for so long, but were drawn to the surface like magnets as soon as she'd finished.
Erinn had always believed he was a Pokemon of lesser significance than most others. He was bug, physically tiny and emotionally frayed, who had come from a forest where he didn't possess any stand-out qualities other than his decision to thank a Rescue Team for helping the Pokemon of the woods when they needed it. For all of his years in association with Team MistMelody, he'd harbored the fear that they took him out of pity and didn't consider him to be of any use. He knew he was a coward with anxiety that crippled him beyond belief, and he also knew that he lived on a Team surrounded by heroes. The Pokemon he worked with were all extraordinary, and all of them were worthy representatives of justice and kindness in the world. They could do amazing things that no one else could, and they never gave up, even when everything seemed hopeless. He...wasn't like that. He could never live up to that. He was only Erinn, the Team member that even this stranger thought his old Team could do without. The Paras's eyes welled up with tears again, but they fell silently, unaccompanied by any sound at all, other than his halting breathing. If the Charmander was right then they didn't need him, and that was worse than even his previous worries.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dark_Hunter-Angelic_Tears Crew
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed May 20, 2015 10:16 pm
Robin
Jessica
But why!?
What she had said had made perfect sense. If his old team needed him, they wouldn't have arrived without him to begin with. His new team had been made with him there, they were the ones that needed him. There was nothing to feel guilty over. There certainly wasn't enough to feel guilty about that he had to retreat further into the chair and start crying. She opened her mouth and very nearly repeated herself in a vain effort to reassure him but she had enough instinct to avoid that.
Instead, she got to her feet, stood right up against the seat and said only two words. "You're important."
It was a total crapshoot. She didn't know why he was feeling guilty, she didn't know why he was starting to cry. The only thing she really knew for sure was that the Paras had some serious and deep-seated issues and that whatever the case he was very deeply questioning himself over nothing. Sometimes the best thing you could do with people who weren't confident was to make them feel confident, at least long enough to make some headway. At the very least, that was how it worked in business; that was the correct way to handle a client whose self-deprecating personality interfered with the work. You had to hype them up and lead them forward. Hopefully he would take it earnestly enough to actually let her talk to him and communicate with him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu May 21, 2015 11:22 am
Erinn The Charmander had gotten closer to him, and that put the Paras into a state of even more distress, whimpering and pulling back to make himself smaller. What more could she be planning to do to him? She'd already made it clear that every one of his worries was justified: wasn't that enough? But then she spoke, saying something that contradicted almost completely with what she'd just told him, and he stared at her with eyes full of confusion. The Fire Type had just told him he was unnecessary; how could she follow that up by saying that he was important? It made no sense!
Erinn struggled to regain his voice, trying to puzzle through the Charmander's words and coming up with nothing. "I..." the bug said, choking out the words to try and find some sort of understanding, "I d-d-don't understand." That was about all there was to it. "Y-You just s-said they d-d-don't need me. And if they d-don't need me then I'm n-not important at all!" It was awful saying those words out loud. More terrible than even thinking them, because they sounded true. If he wasn't needed in his friends' lives then it followed naturally that he wasn't needed by anyone, which made him completely useless--no more than a burden on anyone he was involved with. He was even being a burden to this thoughtful Charmander, who had at least been honest with him about his own lack of worth, but suddenly she was changing her story and he didn't understand it. Surely she knew that there was no point in lying to him about his importance after just telling him otherwise. He'd been prepared to leave her alone so that he wouldn't trouble her with his worthlessness anymore, but he couldn't drop the conversation on that note, not when she was giving him such mixed signals. The worst part was Erinn knew that he should just leave and not try to figure it out, but he selfishly wanted to believe that he could somehow still be important, even though it couldn't possibly be true considering everything else the Charmander had said; he felt yet another stab of guilt when he realized the desire--he really was the worst type of person, wasn't he.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dark_Hunter-Angelic_Tears Crew
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu May 21, 2015 6:47 pm
Robin
Jessica
He had responded. Not as earnestly and as conveniently as she had hoped he would but it was enough; he had plainly enough stated what his problem was and all she had to do was seize the opportunity. He had presented a vulnerability and she was going to strike. She had confused him and mixed him up and left him too mentally frayed to burrow deeper into himself and that was all she needed. At the very least, he wasn't crying anymore.
"Being needed and being important are different. Being important doesn't make you needed. Your old team probably wants you but your new team needs you. You're important to both. They're friends with you and that's enough."
It was, again, a crapshoot. She didn't really understand him. Jessica didn't "get" this kind of mentality, it was something she wasn't experienced with and it was something that was completely and utterly foreign to her. There was no way for her to empathize with him or understand him, the best she could do was to try and make good guesses. At the very least, she wasn't going to leave him like this. She didn't know what exactly she had said to set him off nor what exactly his problems were that he would react like this but she had made the Paras cry and it made her feel an awkward slurry of emotions. Guilt stood at the front although she refused to let it show. She hadn't wronged him, but... she hadn't helped him, either. She was better than that.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 22, 2015 4:10 pm
Erinn Erinn listened, though he heard the words through biased ears. What the Charmander was saying seemed like it made sense, but didn't do much in the way of helping his situation. It clarified that she didn't seem to think he was unnecessary, which ran in the opposite direction of his mental processes thus far, throwing off his bearings on the whole conversation. According to her, a think that was important didn't have to be needed, but the concepts couldn't quite align in the Paras's head. All necessary things were important, and the way Erinn viewed it this process worked both ways: if something wasn't important enough to be necessary, then it couldn't be that important. The two concepts worked together, particularly when it came to what they were talking about now. What the Charmander couldn't understand was that his relationship former Team was more than just a working relationship, and telling him they didn't need him like he needed them only worked to further solidify his belief that he was more trouble to them than he was worth. And none of this helped any when it circled back to his initial crisis about where his loyalties should lie if he had to choose between the two Teams.
"I d-don't think any of them need me," he said after a moment, his voice quiet and raspy. "And if I'm not needed then I c-can't be all that important anyway. It's only important that you h-h-have what's necessary, r-r-right?" Someone as rational as this Charmander should be able to understand that. If his old Team didn't need him after all their years together then that wouldn't change anything, and he was beginning to believe that he'd only be making more trouble for Silver than he'd be any sort of help to him; the Espeon was so free-spirited and self-assured--he'd probably just weigh his new partner down. Waving a claw, Erinn sunk down into his chair tiredly. "You d-don't have to console me, r-really. I'm more trouble than I'm worth. Even for my f-f-friends."
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dark_Hunter-Angelic_Tears Crew
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 24, 2015 11:23 pm
Robin
Jessica
"Bullshit!" You had to be needed to be important!? What kind of insane logic was that? No, this was no longer a matter of simply trying to undo whatever damage she had done. This Paras clearly had a screw loose and what he was saying was so gravely and unjustifiably wrong that she couldn't let it stand regardless of the reason. He was getting taught a lesson whether or not he wanted it. "These books are important. This library is important. I have things in my room that are important. I am important. But even if this library burns down, even if my room gets destroyed, my life isn't ending. Even if I die tomorrow, this guild isn't going to collapse. What you want and what you need are different kinds of important. There's more to life than bread and water."
Really, it was nuts! What kind of perception was that... that only necessary things mattered? No, there was a hell of a lot more that was important than what was "necessary". What about everything else? What about making money or making people happy? What about everything good and right? What about finding people to live with and love...?
There was a brief pause before Jessica continued, the thought having clicked in her mind. "...You came here on your own. You were ready to join the guild on your own. You were ready to do it without your friends because even if you wanted them, you didn't need them. But they're still important to you, right?"
It was the inherent flaw in his logic: if something was needed to be important, then his friends weren't important. But his friends were important, so obviously the idea that only "necessary" things were important was false.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
