So I've known this girl for as long as I can remember and for years we were really tight. Super besties, like, practically living at each other's house. But then about 7 years ago I moved across the country and since then we haven't really talked that much. It's not for lack of wanting to, but she's always crazy busy and I always feel like I'm being annoying so I just... Don't. We see each other every once in a while- I have family back where she's at, and she has family where I'm at so occasionally our paths cross and it's always great when that happens. And then the last time I saw her, just this last March, it was just like holy crap. She's amazing. She's one of the most genuinely nice people I've ever met, she's a freaking joy to be around, and we just click. Plus she's beautiful and popular and how has that not gone to her head?? Basically I adore her and when I think about it, it's like, I would love to date her and do that whole romance thing because if I'm being totally honest, she personifies my ideal companion. But it's also one of those things where if not, I'm 104% okay just being friends because she's awesome and we've been friends forever so yeah. But it just kinda sucks because 1) I want to be around her and I can't because I live in freaking Ohio and she's in Nevada and I miss the heck out of her and 2) I don't have a chance because she lives 2000 miles away, is straight, and has a boyfriend. It sucks. I guess I'm not really looking for advice or anything I just wanted to get that off my chest because it's been nagging at me for a while. Has anyone else had this problem?
Posted: Sun May 17, 2015 4:40 pm
Aside from falling in love with my best friend (we're both straight), I can relate to moving across the country and beginning that agonizing decline in contact.
Aside from falling in love with my best friend (we're both straight), I can relate to moving across the country and beginning that agonizing decline in contact.
Aw, I'm sorry. It's a terribly crappy feeling. Especially when you start to notice other people stepping in your place. Where'd you move from?
Posted: Mon May 18, 2015 5:56 am
I feel ya. 'Cept the guy I like is guy and knows I like him. It hasn't affected our friendship and, though we don't talk much, we've never been closer. I'm just saying, maybe being honest about how you feel can bring you closer together.
Destiny is Calling
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Posted: Mon May 18, 2015 10:44 am
Destiny is Calling
I feel ya. 'Cept the guy I like is guy and knows I like him. It hasn't affected our friendship and, though we don't talk much, we've never been closer. I'm just saying, maybe being honest about how you feel can bring you closer together.
Yeah. I plan on telling her at some point but I don't want to just message her out of the blue like, "HEY GUESS WHAT I like you". It's a little bit nerve racking though, 'cause if she doesn't take it well then I've isolated myself from her and maybe messed up our friendship and that's the last thing I want.
Posted: Tue May 19, 2015 10:31 pm
I won't put any false hope on you dude, but for some, waiting comes out pretty great for them. My girlfriend right now is my friend for more than 10years. We're both going in and out of relationships with other people for most of the time we stayed as friends. until i broke up with my ex-gf of 2years (LDR). I was spending time with my friends few weeks after the breaking up when we (my girl right now) started talking about stuff. random stuff mostly. Then in turn of events, the guy she was with for 5 years decided to end their relationship. After a year of courting, she finally became my girl.
If you want to take the risk, then do so when you're prepared for the worst outcome. wink --- - I really like her since the first time I saw her but when my friend made a move to her, i backed off. - I end my relationships myself, with only one reason: "I can't shake the feelings that i have for this (my girl) girl off." (All my breakups ended with a good closure for both parties)
I won't put any false hope on you dude, but for some, waiting comes out pretty great for them. My girlfriend right now is my friend for more than 10years. We're both going in and out of relationships with other people for most of the time we stayed as friends. until i broke up with my ex-gf of 2years (LDR). I was spending time with my friends few weeks after the breaking up when we (my girl right now) started talking about stuff. random stuff mostly. Then in turn of events, the guy she was with for 5 years decided to end their relationship. After a year of courting, she finally became my girl.
If you want to take the risk, then do so when you're prepared for the worst outcome. wink --- - I really like her since the first time I saw her but when my friend made a move to her, i backed off. - I end my relationships myself, with only one reason: "I can't shake the feelings that i have for this (my girl) girl off." (All my breakups ended with a good closure for both parties)
Thanks man. I doubt it'll ever happen, though. I mean, besides the her having a boyfriend and living 2000 miles away, she's still straight as far as know so that doesn't really help me. Maybe she's not, that would be cool but I kinda don't think so. I'm definitely not going to tell her right now or at any point while she's in a relationship- that'd just be awkward. I think I'll build to it- message her more, come out to her, which I might not even have to do. She follows me on Tumblr and it would be pretty hard not to have figured it out. But I should still say it anyway and that's an entire other hurdle- I know she'd be cool about it but it's still nerve racking. If I'm being totally honest, I'll probably just sit on it forever and never actually tell her. -_-
Posted: Sun May 24, 2015 7:52 pm
Ittarius
Gaju-nim
I won't put any false hope on you dude, but for some, waiting comes out pretty great for them. My girlfriend right now is my friend for more than 10years. We're both going in and out of relationships with other people for most of the time we stayed as friends. until i broke up with my ex-gf of 2years (LDR). I was spending time with my friends few weeks after the breaking up when we (my girl right now) started talking about stuff. random stuff mostly. Then in turn of events, the guy she was with for 5 years decided to end their relationship. After a year of courting, she finally became my girl.
If you want to take the risk, then do so when you're prepared for the worst outcome. wink --- - I really like her since the first time I saw her but when my friend made a move to her, i backed off. - I end my relationships myself, with only one reason: "I can't shake the feelings that i have for this (my girl) girl off." (All my breakups ended with a good closure for both parties)
Thanks man. I doubt it'll ever happen, though. I mean, besides the her having a boyfriend and living 2000 miles away, she's still straight as far as know so that doesn't really help me. Maybe she's not, that would be cool but I kinda don't think so. I'm definitely not going to tell her right now or at any point while she's in a relationship- that'd just be awkward. I think I'll build to it- message her more, come out to her, which I might not even have to do. She follows me on Tumblr and it would be pretty hard not to have figured it out. But I should still say it anyway and that's an entire other hurdle- I know she'd be cool about it but it's still nerve racking. If I'm being totally honest, I'll probably just sit on it forever and never actually tell her. -_-
I waited patiently for years i lost count of before opportunity showed itself. I can't say much for everyone though but if you really love that girl, you'll learn how to wait and wait for the opportune moment smile
Sorry for the late response. I moved from California to Tennessee in a straight shot by truck with my dad. I had to go about a week without a shower or change of clothes. That's probably the most miserable I've ever been.
Aw, I'm sorry. It's a terribly crappy feeling. Especially when you start to notice other people stepping in your place. Where'd you move from?
Posted: Tue May 26, 2015 7:03 pm
Here are all the things I'm sorry for... First. Ohio sucks. I've lived here my whole life. Second. Living far away from your best friend blows. Admittedly my friends all reside within 500 miles, but it still sucks driving more than 1 hour to see someone. Third. Busy people suck. I am the not busy one so I always tell people to call me. So I generally don't talk to my friends more than once a season unless we make plans. Fourth. Ugh straight girls. I have never fallen for a straight girl. So I can't really sympathize there, but given my own experiences... Ugh straight girls. XD.
You're allowed to not tell her. I probably wouldn't, but that's because I have serious commitment issues. Like the thought of actually committing to a relationship makes me itchy. I get hives. Although I feel when I finally get over this issue I would. But I am very honest so much so I've been told many times that I am too honest. Something like this would eat at me. I don't fancy being eaten. *shrug*
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Posted: Wed May 27, 2015 9:44 pm
Gaju-nim
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Gaju-nim
I won't put any false hope on you dude, but for some, waiting comes out pretty great for them. My girlfriend right now is my friend for more than 10years. We're both going in and out of relationships with other people for most of the time we stayed as friends. until i broke up with my ex-gf of 2years (LDR). I was spending time with my friends few weeks after the breaking up when we (my girl right now) started talking about stuff. random stuff mostly. Then in turn of events, the guy she was with for 5 years decided to end their relationship. After a year of courting, she finally became my girl.
If you want to take the risk, then do so when you're prepared for the worst outcome. wink --- - I really like her since the first time I saw her but when my friend made a move to her, i backed off. - I end my relationships myself, with only one reason: "I can't shake the feelings that i have for this (my girl) girl off." (All my breakups ended with a good closure for both parties)
Thanks man. I doubt it'll ever happen, though. I mean, besides the her having a boyfriend and living 2000 miles away, she's still straight as far as know so that doesn't really help me. Maybe she's not, that would be cool but I kinda don't think so. I'm definitely not going to tell her right now or at any point while she's in a relationship- that'd just be awkward. I think I'll build to it- message her more, come out to her, which I might not even have to do. She follows me on Tumblr and it would be pretty hard not to have figured it out. But I should still say it anyway and that's an entire other hurdle- I know she'd be cool about it but it's still nerve racking. If I'm being totally honest, I'll probably just sit on it forever and never actually tell her. -_-
I waited patiently for years i lost count of before opportunity showed itself. I can't say much for everyone though but if you really love that girl, you'll learn how to wait and wait for the opportune moment smile
Well I'm gonna have to wait either way, haha. Most likely forever but that just comes with the territory, I guess.
Posted: Wed May 27, 2015 9:46 pm
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Ittarius
Sorry for the late response. I moved from California to Tennessee in a straight shot by truck with my dad. I had to go about a week without a shower or change of clothes. That's probably the most miserable I've ever been.
Aw, I'm sorry. It's a terribly crappy feeling. Especially when you start to notice other people stepping in your place. Where'd you move from?
Eugh, that's unpleasant. I've had my fair share of way too long, horribly uncomfortable rides, but that sounds way worse than anything I've done.
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Posted: Wed May 27, 2015 9:54 pm
Monk65
Here are all the things I'm sorry for... First. Ohio sucks. I've lived here my whole life. Second. Living far away from your best friend blows. Admittedly my friends all reside within 500 miles, but it still sucks driving more than 1 hour to see someone. Third. Busy people suck. I am the not busy one so I always tell people to call me. So I generally don't talk to my friends more than once a season unless we make plans. Fourth. Ugh straight girls. I have never fallen for a straight girl. So I can't really sympathize there, but given my own experiences... Ugh straight girls. XD.
You're allowed to not tell her. I probably wouldn't, but that's because I have serious commitment issues. Like the thought of actually committing to a relationship makes me itchy. I get hives. Although I feel when I finally get over this issue I would. But I am very honest so much so I've been told many times that I am too honest. Something like this would eat at me. I don't fancy being eaten. *shrug*
Yeah, I'm not a fan of Ohio either. I am so looking forward to breaking out of this awful state. I get that- I don't see my friends terribly often, either. Even the ones that don't live several thousand miles away. Hahah, what have been your "ugh" experiences with straight girls?
It's not too bad to manage. I think if I saw her more often it would be worse. The whole "out of sight, out of mind" thing is keeping it from getting out of hand. Which is both nice and totally sucks.
Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2015 2:17 pm
Ittarius
Monk65
Yeah, I'm not a fan of Ohio either. I am so looking forward to breaking out of this awful state. I get that- I don't see my friends terribly often, either. Even the ones that don't live several thousand miles away. Hahah, what have been your "ugh" experiences with straight girls?
It's not too bad to manage. I think if I saw her more often it would be worse. The whole "out of sight, out of mind" thing is keeping it from getting out of hand. Which is both nice and totally sucks.
Sorry about the ridiculously late reply. I got obnoxiously busy. Recommendation: Never agree to be a bridesmaid unless the bride actually knows what she wants you to wear. All she has is a color range. Not even a specific color. *headdesk*
My "ugh" experiences with straight girls? Well... You know how in the media they joke about women having a "phase" back when they were in college? Turns out that's really a thing.
Don't misunderstand I am a believer in the "everyone's a little bit bi" theory. But thinking another female is attractive and actually wanting to be with another female are different things. I don't want to be the guinea pig and an uncomfortable amount of straight girls have asked me to be one. Actually so have their boyfriends. It's like once people know you're truly impartial when it comes to gender their brains melt and reshape to turn you into a sex monster.
I did let it happen once with a really good straight friend. She then started banging our really good male friend. Then the two of them proceeded to ruin the three of us. They got all catty and shitty with one another and the trio self-destructed. Thankful I had already prepped my escape pod (two girls, one of whom is now my bestest of all best friends). I'm really happy I never developed feelings. I would have been super broken. So yeah. I stay the ******** out of it now. lol.
Although I still talk to both of them. They just don't talk to each other. XD.
TBH; I never think that indulging in feelings for people who don't align with your sexuality just because of that SMALL hope is productive or healthy. Like, I feel like actually liking someone who also has the realistic capacity to desire you and like you is much more worth investing in than just appreciating your best friend for being awesome: because they probably wouldn't be your best friend if they were s**t right?
Speaking from personal experience, you gotta just let it go *cue James Bay*
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