It had been weeks since Azzan had left his family home. Ranulf had become his rock in the turblance that his life had become. He hung his head low, his bangs covering his face and almost dragign the ground with how low his head was held. How did his world become what it was? When did he.... become his mother? And yet... Temptations were ever present. It was difficult, very dificult indeed, not to return to old, destructive habits. But what would become of him if he did? He shook his head, pushing the thought from his mind. He raised his head to see where he was going, pausing his amble for only a brief moment as he changed direction to head to a nearby streem. Yes, a drink of cool water should help push the thoughts from his mind.
Anabis
Berry happened to be at that same stream, on the other bank, watching the fish or stydying the small water-creatures, like frogs and tadpoles. It's been a long time since she'd thought of the stallion that had scared her before, and she certiantly wasn't expecting to see him again now. she was more interested in watching the colors of the fish scales change in the sunlight, or the tiny eddies of water the river formed fro mtime to time.
Thamin
Interacting with others was something that Ranulf had told him he needed to try to do, whether or not he wanted to. And at that moment it wasnt in his top ten list of goals for the day, but as Azzan rounded a tee and spied the mare on the opposite side of the stream he figgured it was the spirits telling him to do as his brother told him. He made his way to the waters edge opposite the mare and cleared his throat to announce his presence. "Hello..." He said hoarsly.
Anabis
Berry looked up when she heard someone speak, and nearly jumped back from surprize. "U-uh... H-hello...." She managed to say. Well this was an unexpected surprize. At least he seemed somewhat calmer then last time... for the moment.
Thamin
Azzan's brow furrowed and he pursed his lips, an obvious look of confusion and nervousness plastered across his face. He had noticed the ump, and though he knew that a lack of knowledge of his presence could make someone jump who was not expecting a sound, Azzan couldn't help but thing that the mare had jumped for another reason. Uncomfortable maybe? He shook his head ever so slightly, trying to push the idea from his mind. 'You cant always assume the bad.' He told himself ans he took another step closer. "Um..." He stammered, trying to think of some small-talk to initiate. "Nice day out, isnt it?" He said as more of a question than a statement. It had been so long since he had spoken to anyone other than family - he had no clue what he was doing.
Anabis
Berry tilted her head a bit. The last time she'd seen this stallion he'd acted quite different. "Yes... um.. are you alright..?" She asked, taking a step closer, but just one. She wasn't so sure yet that he wasn't just putting up an act, but... she had to give him a chance, right? "You seem a bit... lost.. not like direction or location but liek you're unsure of yourself."
Thamin
Azzan chuckled nervously. "No, I wouldnt say that I'm quite alright." Azzan admitted truthfully. "But I'm trying to be. It's a very long story." He shuffled his hooves and looked about, trying to find some sort of distraction or to think of the next part of a conversation. "I'm not very good at this..." He mumbled softly with an 'I'm sorry' smile. "But I'm trying. My name is Azzan."
Anabis
Berry studied him for a moment. "You... don't remember me, do you...?" she asked finally, more to herself then to him. " She shook off the thought and went over, curious but still a bit cautious. "My name is Berry. I have time to listen, if you want to talk about what's troubling you, Azzan." she gave him a kind smile, even if she was still cautious, he seemed like he needed some kind of help, she wasn't sure she coudl provide the help he'd need but she could stay and listen if he wanted to talk.
Thamin
Azzans smile slowly started to drop from his maw as the mares eyes seemed to be searching for something. It dropped completely when the mare asked if he remembered. Ranulf had told him that he wasnt himself after a kill, and though Azzan knew his actions and thoughts were darker he had always assumed that he had full remembrance of the events following his actions. Ranulf had said otherwise, but Azzan had not believed until now. "I.... No..." Azzan stated, shaking his head and looking the mare over with a mixture of sadness and worry. He took a few steps back, shaking his head. Obviously he hadnt killed the mare. Perhaps he hadnt been so bad? She wasnt running in terror after all. She wanted to listen, she seemed eager to help, but there was only one thing running through Azzan's mind at that time. "I'm a monster..." escaped his lips in a barely audible whisper.
Anabis
Berry tilted her head again, ears flicking to catch the words as best she could. "A Monster? You don't look like one, not to me at least." She replied, "Why would you think you are one? You look no different then me, except for your colors and markings, but those are slightly different for all Soquili from what I've seen so far."
Thamin
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Thamin
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Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 8:26 am
Thamin
Azzan shook his head, urging panicked thoughts to subside. "I... he stammered as he attempted to collect himself. "I am so sorry...." He said to Berry. "For anything that I may have done when we previously met." His frown deepened and he hung his head, ashamed of his actions even though he didnt know if he had even done anything. Simply not knowing and knowing that he did not know was the worse thing he had ever felt. Well..... Second worst thing. The mare seemed curious though. Azzan owed her an explanation, or at least a better conversation than horrified mumblings. "I...." He started, visibly searching for the best way to say what he needed to. "I'm a monster not in looks, but in actions. I've been so lost for so long. I dont even know where to begin. My brother is helping me, he found me when no one else could." His thoughts trailed back to his foal-hood and how he had been so bright and optimistic. A soft,, single burst of laughter escaped him as he remembered the 'olden days' and he looked pleadingly to Berry. "Please forgive me; I was not always this way."
Anabis
Berry frowned a bit. This stallion was in more pain then she'd originally though. She crossed the water carefully, so as not to slip. "I forgive you. You didn't do very much at all to me, if it helps any. You scared me, but you didn't really do anything to me." She said softly, trying not to bring him more pain. She lowered her head to try and look him in the eyes. "I've been scared by others before, it's not so bad that you need to think of yourself as a monster, Azzan. I don't know what actions would make you think of yourself as a monster, but none that I saw was worth the title. Besides, Monsters don't say sorry." She smiled a little. "I think your hurt, and lost, and trying very hard to find your path again if your willing to say sorry. But not a monster."
Thamin
Azzans head raised ever so slightly as Berry stated that she forgave him, but he had to resist the urge to continue to back away as the mare drew ever closer. He relaxed a bit as Berry told more to him of their previous meeting. He was relieved, which was an understatement of how he felt, that no harm had befallen her at his hooves. Colorless eyes peered back gratefully as the mare attempted to convince him that he was not what he believed himself to be, that he was not a monster. Slowly his head lifted once more. He nodded ever so slightly as Berry continued to speak. "Thank you..." He said quietly, not really knowing what to say. He was very grateful to the mare for her kind words, and though he didnt fully understand what it was that he was feeling right then he knew that he felt better about the whole situation. It was hope. He looked to the ground feeling a bit awkward about having caused this whole ordeal to take place, and though he felt as though a tremendous weight had been lifted from him he couldnt help but feel as though he still owed the mare. He softly smiled, a genuine smile of amusement. "I told you I wasn't very good at this." He said sheepishly in a joking manner, referring to his attempt to make small talk. "Attempt to make small talk and almost have a breakdown..."
Anabis
Berry laughed a little. "That's alright." She replied, lifting her head again and smiling. "Would you like to walk with me a little, Azzan? I could tell you a story, if you like. I know a few about the Great Spirits, or about our Brother and Sister creatures." She offered. He didn't seem so bad as before, and maybe all he needed was a little help to find his way again from whatever inner darkness blocked his view.
Thamin
Azzan shuffled his hooves, uncertain how to answer the mare's question. It was a simple offering; a walk and some conversation. He wondered how long he had been gone from his families home, whether or not his brother was worrying about him, whether or not they needed him. He looked back in the direction he had come from for a moment, contemplating the possibilities, before turning back to Berry with an answer. Ranulf had been urging him to converse with others - Azzan figured that even though he may worry for the moment he would have condoned his excursions today. "A little walk would be lovely, Berry. Thank you." He said with a grin and nod.
Anabis
Berry returned the nod lightly, and began to walk, in no particular direction, just choosing one at random. "What kind of story would you like to hear?" she asked, making sure not to walk too fast or too slowly for Azzan. He was wounded after all, and though not physically there for all to see, inner wounds could hurt just as much and slow a being down sometimes, so she'd let him set the pace of their walk.
Thamin
Azzan followed the mare, making sure to keep in time with her pace but to also keep a respectable distance. He didnt want to seem rude by slowing her down or leaving her behind - it was not he that suggested the walk after all, and he knew not of the destination to be leading. He looked about his surroundings; at the stream babbling nearby, at the trees, at the sunlight filtering through their branches, at the ground. He knew there were many stories to be told, so how was he to pick just one? But one it would be for now, so the question was what to hear about? "How about..." Azzan started as he looked to the foliage above him. "Would you happen to know of any stories about the trees?" He questioned curiously, seeming to brighten a bit as his mind was distracted from their previous conversation. "I've heard that there spirits that live in the trees, but I've never heard any tales of them. I think they would be very interesting to learn more about."
Anabis
Berry thought for a moment, and glanced at Azzan. " I know a few." she said with a grin, and began her story for him. "My old herd told me once that long ago, there were no trees at all. Grandfather Earth was not yet so old. He wasn't even a Grandfather. He walked his lands alone with no comany at all, a great and vast lonliness was all that exsisted. One day, he felt his lands shake and rumble. Long before this he had trapped the spirit of a terrible force within himself, a Spirit that turned stone to liquid that ran as fast as light. It was this force that caused his lands to shake and rumble. this Spirit was trying to get out. It caused him many dances of Father Sun and Mother Moon worth of pain. Finally, one day, the Spirit he'd trapped started to break free. The spirit pushed at the land, rising it up and up, high into towering mountians all over Grandfather Earth. The Spirit of liquid stone tried to escape many times, But Grandfather Earth was strong and young. He wanted to know why the Spirit was trying so hard now to get free, long after he'd trapped it." She murmured. shivvering a bit. Great Spirits were not to be messed with, many creatures knew that, and even though it was just a story, Berry was getting into the story, into weaving it for Azzan to hear, and the part coming up made her a little scared.
