graceangel
She sat in the room at the desk. She was browsing on her phone. She was looking up guides and websites on tips for presentation for professional looking blogs and video blogs. She had her earbuds in her ears and was trying to be quiet. Every so often, she had looked over to make sure he was ok. She waited. SLEEP, swim, and take care of himself. That was what his sister wanted for him. Cherry thought it imperative he get all of them before returning to the hospital. What if his next stint there went on for days again just like this. Though she at times worried there was the slight possibility when he woke up; that he wouldn’t listen to her anyways. It had been hours. She got up, walked to his bedside. She leaned down to smooth his hair and kiss his forehead. Then, she went off to make food for her. She also fixed a tray to bring back to the room. It was enough for her to snack on as time went by, and there was enough if he woke; that there was something for him to have.
Then, she went through his drawers to set out swim shorts for him. She laid them on the end of the bed. When she had done all that, she went to grab her phone. She brought it over and laid on the other side of his bed, opposite of him. Her head down near his feet, and her legs from knee down were bent up in the air. Her winter layered skirt laid down close to her body. Her toes waved in the air clad in cable knit tights that were black. She went back to reading and relaxing there. Then, an hour or so later, she sat up indian style next to him. Her fingers lightly tracing the features of his face while he slept. Wasn’t this a dilemma. The longer she stayed; she could feel that she wouldn’t want to leave at all. If she didn’t leave, how would she stick to her need to keep him safe from what was dangerous in her life here. She loved him so much it hurt. She then sat up and let her eyes roam aimlessly around the room as she felt more than a little helpless to the feelings that wouldn’t let her do anything but follow them.
Then, she went through his drawers to set out swim shorts for him. She laid them on the end of the bed. When she had done all that, she went to grab her phone. She brought it over and laid on the other side of his bed, opposite of him. Her head down near his feet, and her legs from knee down were bent up in the air. Her winter layered skirt laid down close to her body. Her toes waved in the air clad in cable knit tights that were black. She went back to reading and relaxing there. Then, an hour or so later, she sat up indian style next to him. Her fingers lightly tracing the features of his face while he slept. Wasn’t this a dilemma. The longer she stayed; she could feel that she wouldn’t want to leave at all. If she didn’t leave, how would she stick to her need to keep him safe from what was dangerous in her life here. She loved him so much it hurt. She then sat up and let her eyes roam aimlessly around the room as she felt more than a little helpless to the feelings that wouldn’t let her do anything but follow them.
Kaori Luv
Xander had indeed been as tired as everyone claimed him to be, that he managed to keep going the way he did was truly amazing. It showed just how deeply he had learned to care in the past year. Of course Lily has always been able to bring that out in him, but it wasn’t just Lily at the moment that kept him tethered to the hospital, but Hannah and the other’s that had been captured and were healing and needing looking after until they could be released.
He was barely able to stay awake for a few moments after he got into the car and when he got home he was rather remotely guided to bed and tucked in. He didn’t put up much fuss as his body was mostly already asleep, he barely went to wakefulness in between the car and his bed.
He slept though not peacefully at first, but he slept for several hours completely unaware that he had a visitor watching over him. A visitor which his parents seemed to allow and take as an excuse to see their momentarily awake youngest daughter. She rarely was awake at the moment. He was drawn to wakefulness by fingers tracing his face, not fully at first, but he smiled in his sleep a simple peaceful smile. “That tickles,” he said seemingly dreaming at the moment, in a place between sleep and wakefulness.
He was barely able to stay awake for a few moments after he got into the car and when he got home he was rather remotely guided to bed and tucked in. He didn’t put up much fuss as his body was mostly already asleep, he barely went to wakefulness in between the car and his bed.
He slept though not peacefully at first, but he slept for several hours completely unaware that he had a visitor watching over him. A visitor which his parents seemed to allow and take as an excuse to see their momentarily awake youngest daughter. She rarely was awake at the moment. He was drawn to wakefulness by fingers tracing his face, not fully at first, but he smiled in his sleep a simple peaceful smile. “That tickles,” he said seemingly dreaming at the moment, in a place between sleep and wakefulness.
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Hearing his voice, her eyes roamed down to look at him. She clutched the hand that wasn’t close to him at her chest. The sight of him sleeping so sound and talking like that. He was so utterly adorable and cute. As much as she probably shouldn’t and though she thought an awake version of him would bolt. She slipped her legs around, tucking them underneath her till she was sitting on her heels. She leaned forward and laid the side of her face on his chest. Her eyes lazily looking at him. Her helplessly smiling despite how unsure she felt about any of it. She traced her nail tips down his jaw bone and around down his neck and across his shoulder blades. Maybe he wasn’t really awake. Talking in his sleep maybe?
She swallowed and sighed. She kept trying to remind herself she was just here on a mission. She had things to make sure that happened. That he was taking time to set himself back to rights. She was here to ensure that happened, but as she sat there. All she could think of was how sorry she was. She couldn’t stop herself from whispering it. “I’m so sorry. If you knew how much I love you; would have never believed anything I said that day.” She sighed a little more.
She swallowed and sighed. She kept trying to remind herself she was just here on a mission. She had things to make sure that happened. That he was taking time to set himself back to rights. She was here to ensure that happened, but as she sat there. All she could think of was how sorry she was. She couldn’t stop herself from whispering it. “I’m so sorry. If you knew how much I love you; would have never believed anything I said that day.” She sighed a little more.
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What seemed to be a dream was rather abruptly ended at the feel of nails on his chin and his neck. His conscious was pushed fully to wakefulness seconds later. He could feel a head on his chest ever so lightly, a stray hair tickling his chin and he knew he wasn’t alone. He remembered that Cerise was suppose to drive him home, but he wondered why she was still here, because his sister, nor his mother would be dragging their nails across his jaw bone. That was until she spoke his breath hitched momentarily and he almost gave away the fact the he was not in fact asleep. He smiled in his sleep, but it was a sad smile as he thought back to when she broke it off with him and in a text no less. It was a very hurtful experience, but Lily had helped him get through it. It was odd that his sister was the one to help him, his little sister.
He didn’t understand. If she loved him then why did she do what she did, say what she said. Break his heart like that. He almost wanted to wrap his arms around her and just ask but, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
He didn’t understand. If she loved him then why did she do what she did, say what she said. Break his heart like that. He almost wanted to wrap his arms around her and just ask but, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
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She didn’t pick up on the signs in his body that he had been waking. She was banking on the fact he was both not awake, and that her whispering wouldn’t be heard. She then dared a little more. She hugged his chest where her head was laying at. Gently, oh so gently. As to not wake him up of course and ruin it all for herself.
But, having given relief to her deep inner self by saying it out loud. With the words having been put to her lips, she felt like she was regaining more control over herself. Cerise sat up then and laid on the other side next to him with her head next to his feet. She stared up at the ceiling, tucked one arm under her head. She picked up her phone to play some music. When having selected something nice, she set it down next to her and tucked the other hand under her head.
Well she did slip a little. No matter. It’s not like he heard it, and she could continue with this little endeavor. She smiled to herself. She couldn’t deny that being here with him felt good. It just felt right. Like a moth to the flame, she was just drawn in. She sighed to herself. She felt somehow that loving someone like this was unfathomably dangerous. It would somehow work to her demise. She just had a feeling. She couldn’t see where it would lead anywhere good. He probably hadn’t really wanted to see her anyways. He only texted her because of his sister. She was here making everything worse. She couldn’t even stop herself. She only then started to space out and think about the feeling of laying her head on his chest. The sound of his heart beating as he breathed. It was so perfect she felt it was almost surreal. Then, she sat up and looked down at his face.
She sat there staring and feeling like she was stuck in some measure of space. She then leaned in so close. So light, lighter than a feather lightly kissed his lips before then rolling off the other side of the bed. She went to walk and pace around the room. Have mercy. This was going to be more of a mission than she originally thought. She came back after a few moments to stand and stare at him. Her feelings burning up like a fire and eating her alive.
But, having given relief to her deep inner self by saying it out loud. With the words having been put to her lips, she felt like she was regaining more control over herself. Cerise sat up then and laid on the other side next to him with her head next to his feet. She stared up at the ceiling, tucked one arm under her head. She picked up her phone to play some music. When having selected something nice, she set it down next to her and tucked the other hand under her head.
Well she did slip a little. No matter. It’s not like he heard it, and she could continue with this little endeavor. She smiled to herself. She couldn’t deny that being here with him felt good. It just felt right. Like a moth to the flame, she was just drawn in. She sighed to herself. She felt somehow that loving someone like this was unfathomably dangerous. It would somehow work to her demise. She just had a feeling. She couldn’t see where it would lead anywhere good. He probably hadn’t really wanted to see her anyways. He only texted her because of his sister. She was here making everything worse. She couldn’t even stop herself. She only then started to space out and think about the feeling of laying her head on his chest. The sound of his heart beating as he breathed. It was so perfect she felt it was almost surreal. Then, she sat up and looked down at his face.
She sat there staring and feeling like she was stuck in some measure of space. She then leaned in so close. So light, lighter than a feather lightly kissed his lips before then rolling off the other side of the bed. She went to walk and pace around the room. Have mercy. This was going to be more of a mission than she originally thought. She came back after a few moments to stand and stare at him. Her feelings burning up like a fire and eating her alive.
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Xander was somewhere lost in his thoughts about when they had been together all those months ago. Last year, at the moment it didn’t feel so long ago right now. He thought he was past it, but he it felt so fresh. He sighed audibly when she kissed him and moved away. He almost reached out wanting to keep her closer, but allowed her to move away. He did open his eyes and turned to look at her watching her pace.
“Cerise,” he said softly before motioning for her to come over. He couldn’t just lie there and pretend like he hadn’t heard what she said. “Come here, please. I think we need to talk. We need to talk about what happened.”
He moved to sit up and flushed slightly realizing he wasn’t wearing a shirt. He scooted over slightly and tried to ignore his slight embarrassment. It wasn’t that different from being in swim trunks he tried to tell himself. He patted the empty space on the bed beside him.
“Cerise,” he said softly before motioning for her to come over. He couldn’t just lie there and pretend like he hadn’t heard what she said. “Come here, please. I think we need to talk. We need to talk about what happened.”
He moved to sit up and flushed slightly realizing he wasn’t wearing a shirt. He scooted over slightly and tried to ignore his slight embarrassment. It wasn’t that different from being in swim trunks he tried to tell himself. He patted the empty space on the bed beside him.
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At first, her eyes were lit up wide and bright. She exuded excitement to see him awake. Hearing him say her name made her about to step back into how she would ever be with him. “Hiii. You’re awake..” When he beckoned her, she had already started to move closer anyways.
She obeyed without the least resistance, but her face faltered a little bit. Her anxiety started to climb. Him saying what happened. It was what she had said she was so sorry for. She knew it. Clearly, he knew it also. This probably meant he heard her. Her bubble from having said what she liked to him so freely under the safety and guise of him being asleep; that popped.
Her eyes went from ecstatic to worried to tentative at best. When he patted that spot, she moved into it at once. Face to face like this. It was impossible for her to do anything than what he wanted of her. The overriding feeling of needing him and make him happy.
When she had slid next to him, she lowered her eyes in not just humility. It was open shame. She quickly started to feel eaten up by those feelings of unworthiness. She had them before, and they raged in her at once. The chaos in her picked away at her. It tortured her. The way it had tortured her then. Her eyes finally looked up at him saturated in apology and repentance. “Ok. I’m….” Well, hadn’t she just said it. He heard her say it. Still. Her mind quickly then thought to that thing about apologies she once heard. That a good apology requires three things. 1. You to admit you were wrong. 2. To say you were sorry. 3. You need to ask what you can do to make it right. Of course, doing all of this would mean that from here on out. There would be no way for her to go back to hiding and push him away like that.
“I was wrong to do that. I’m sorry. I pushed you away for reasons that I felt were in your best interest. I guess I just felt like… You deserved better than me. I needed to protect you.” Right. Many reasons and things that felt legit, but she couldn’t name them. She wished so much she could. She figured to the average person; it would just all sound like crazy talk anyways. She attempted to brush over that and move onto the last part.
She obeyed without the least resistance, but her face faltered a little bit. Her anxiety started to climb. Him saying what happened. It was what she had said she was so sorry for. She knew it. Clearly, he knew it also. This probably meant he heard her. Her bubble from having said what she liked to him so freely under the safety and guise of him being asleep; that popped.
Her eyes went from ecstatic to worried to tentative at best. When he patted that spot, she moved into it at once. Face to face like this. It was impossible for her to do anything than what he wanted of her. The overriding feeling of needing him and make him happy.
When she had slid next to him, she lowered her eyes in not just humility. It was open shame. She quickly started to feel eaten up by those feelings of unworthiness. She had them before, and they raged in her at once. The chaos in her picked away at her. It tortured her. The way it had tortured her then. Her eyes finally looked up at him saturated in apology and repentance. “Ok. I’m….” Well, hadn’t she just said it. He heard her say it. Still. Her mind quickly then thought to that thing about apologies she once heard. That a good apology requires three things. 1. You to admit you were wrong. 2. To say you were sorry. 3. You need to ask what you can do to make it right. Of course, doing all of this would mean that from here on out. There would be no way for her to go back to hiding and push him away like that.
“I was wrong to do that. I’m sorry. I pushed you away for reasons that I felt were in your best interest. I guess I just felt like… You deserved better than me. I needed to protect you.” Right. Many reasons and things that felt legit, but she couldn’t name them. She wished so much she could. She figured to the average person; it would just all sound like crazy talk anyways. She attempted to brush over that and move onto the last part.
