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 Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 2:10 pm
It was going to be quick.
Just to get the offending object out of his sight where it could do no more harm. There was a plate on his desk with nothing left on it but a light dusting of crumbs. It's surviving brethren; a single slice resting in its aluminum pie tin surrounded by bright red juices and scattered cherries, was being held a bit too tightly in his hands with nerves that felt like they were completely shot.
He suppressed a boiling sea of emotions and hurt and heartache and pushed forth to present... nothing. As much nothing as possible. The look on his face was blank, unreadable beyond tired and reddened eyes.
He waited.
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 2:17 pm
The knock on the door was quiet, almost diffident. Al had been really upset, and there was really very little Noah could do about that, but he could get the slice of pie he'd been offered, because if someone appreciated it maybe that would help. Maybe.
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 2:20 pm
The door creaked open just enough for the pie tin to fit through. Al peered through the door behind it and spoke with a soft croak, "thank you."
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 2:25 pm
Noah hesitated just barely before taking the tin, looking at Al instead of at the pie. "I still think it's cool," he said, very quietly, and took the slice. There wasn't anything else he could do. He should go.
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 2:29 pm
Al smiled, slight, almost imperceptible, before he crushed it as quickly as it appeared. "I'm inclined to feel you are only saying that to be nice," he admitted with a heavy sigh. "There's no other reason to say it. Just...-" he seemed to struggle with what to say for a moment before finally continuing, "-sorry if it's bad... I tried."
He really tried.
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 2:35 pm
"No, I said it because I think it." Noah frowned, faintly offended. "I'm not lying." He ran out of words again and looked away, hesitated, started to turn back toward his room, because he felt stupid standing here without anything to do or say, and because probably Al still didn't want to be around him.
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 2:42 pm
Al tilted his head slightly to one side. "I'm no saying you are... I'm no-...," he looked like he was struggling as his breathing became slightly hitched. He turned his head away to hide it behind the edge of his brand new wall. His breathing settled back down enough he could finally squeak out a few words. "You're not a liar. I-I didn't mean it like that. P-Please don't hate me too."
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 2:45 pm
Noah stopped very suddenly, turning back toward the slightly-open door, shock written plainly on his face. "I don't hate you," he said, the words tumbling out without having to think about them first. "I could never."
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 2:50 pm
"S-sorry," Al flinched at the tone in Noah's voice. He wasn't sure what to make of it or him right now. "I just... I assumed. I'm sorry." He slunk to hide behind the wall entirely, leaving the door just slightly ajar.
"It's hard to know what avoidance means sometimes."
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 2:52 pm
Al disappeared behind the door. Noah leaned against the wall outside, setting his back against it and picking one of the cherries out of the pie as he spoke, a little quieter again. "I just, I know you don't really want to see me right now."
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 2:57 pm
"It's hard," he admitted from the other side of the wall. "Seeing you every day and knowing that I screwed up. That I let someone so amazing slip through my fingers." It was somehow easier to talk when he didn't have to look at anything but his darkened room. "I'm trying so hard to move on but no one listens."
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 3:02 pm
"I'm sorry," Noah whispered, barely loud enough to be audible. "I didn't -- I didn't mean to lose you." The cherry squished a little between his fingers, and he ate it to have an excuse to swallow down a sudden tightness in his throat. There was a ring on his finger that he'd accepted playfully, that felt so much heavier now, and there was an ache behind his ribs, and he'd never hurt a friend like this.
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 3:10 pm
He finally slid down the wall to sit splay legged on the floor, defeated. "I didn't mean to lose you either." He felt his eyes lose focus as he stared off into a pinpoint on the floor. It felt impossible. Getting through this on an island. Trapped with everything. Leave only helped so much but then everything came rushing back with a roar the minute he'd step through that portal again.
"Words can't express how sorry I am."
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 3:20 pm
"I'm sorry," Noah whispered again, choking on the words. It hadn't been easy to deal with the note, with the avoidance, but it was two hundred percent worse to listen to the crack and waver in Al's voice, and he was selfishly and guiltily glad that they were on opposite sides of the wall, talking through the crack in the door, because he didn't know if he could handle looking at him too.
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 3:31 pm
There was a long pause and the distant huff of deep breaths being drawn and exhaled.
The silence broke and the voice sounded slightly more calmed down. Less frantic.
"I just want you to be happy though," he pointed out. "I can get through this eventually knowing that much."
He wiped at his face though Noah could not see. "It hurts so much right now. Hurts more than I can describe. But if you can be happy then I can eventually be happy too."
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