[ (backdated to August-ish) ]

In the months since Das Gift, Jarosite fueled his rage at Bischofite into his drainings of civilians and fights with the White Moon Court. He spent far longer in the Rift training some days, only to be reminded he had a life outside of it when he looked at the clock, or when Nina would call him. It was incredibly easy to simply loose himself in training, simply imagining beating the Youma General to death. Except that only went so far before he was left to his thoughts, a dangerous thing these days.

The idea of merging with a youma confused the Captain. Why would you merge with a youma and become half a mindless beast confined to the Rift? It was not a choice he would make, nor did he ever want it forced on him. He'd heard about people becoming youma if too much Chaos was forced into their starseeds, but merging with an existing one? He couldn't fathom the reasoning behind it. On one hand, yes some of those bound with youma were incredibly powerful (Tanzanite was the first to come to mind) but in doing so you gave up so much of your free will it didn't seem worth it to him. Jarosite glanced up at Amp as he circled down from the spires of rock above him.

He was thankful Amp was neither intelligent enough, nor strong enough to take him over. The lizard bird nuzzled him affectionately and he scratched the youma's head scales. He could not imagine ever willingly merging himself with Amp. The idea of having wings intrigued him to be sure, but they were target points he really did not want to have. He'd heard how Leto of the Dark Mirror had had hers broken and all but ripped off of her. Besides, just because had them, didn't mean they were useful. Bischofite's most definitely were not useful. Tanzanite's... had been?, but it seemed her arm was more invested in trying to eat her face than be helpful.

Amp squacked and hopped to the bag next to the Captain. He curled up, tucking his tail under his chin and his wings at his sides. The small youma passed out in short order. He snorted and scratched his head again. That was the other thing that didn't make sense to him. As much as some of the other officers were blood thirsty and almost animalistic in their own right, why would you want to add to that? You'd be tied to the Rift, unable to continue with your normal life, and feral. None of that seemed pleasant to Jarosite, at all.

No, he much rather liked his free will thank you very much.

Jarosite shook his head briefly, before returning to his training. It was decided, no matter how far he might fall, or what low point he might get into, he would never become one with a youma - Amp or otherwise. While he couldn't guarantee he would not be forcefully taken over (Metallia was a very powerful being and he was sure he couldn't stop the Queen if she decided on it), he would definitely not choose it.

He had too much at stake in the human world to do that to himself.

[ WC: 542 ]