It was hunger that had finally driven Cinnabar out of her hiding hole in the citadel and into the rift proper. It wasn't normal hunger that drove her... Normal hunger could be ignored, conquered... This hunger could not. Over the time since her change, she'd come to know the nuances of the pain well. It came in waves... Wax and wane, sometimes easier to bear and sometimes harder. This was the worst it had ever been and had she still been human, she might have thought there was something medically wrong with her, the pain was so intense.
Food wasn't going to do her any good... She'd already given in and devoured all the non perishables she'd stocked in the room she claimed. All that was left was restless wandering to try and take her mind off of it...
Running in the rift was oddly pleasant, compared to other runs she'd taken in various parks and city roads. Maybe it was the youma in her now... But it did little to take her mind off the hunger. Youma trailed along behind her, but she tried to ignore them. It wasn't until they started getting close enough to harass her that Cinnabar finally gave in and turned on one that resembled a centipede, falling on it with a feline snarl of rage. Before she even realized she was doing it, the captain had bitten into the monster, forgetting completely any fighting moves she had ever known.
What happened then was strange and disconcerting... The youma seemed to dissolve as though washed in acid. It turned into greasy black smoke with far too much substance and the partial youma sucked it up greedily, a weird satisfaction filling her at the feel of it sliding down her throat.
Yes... this is what she had been missing. The one piece that brought the picture into focus. Youma eaten, the hunger was completely gone and the lack of pain was euphoric. She felt full... and fast on the heels of that came a sudden rush of dark energy, surging power through her whole body. Suddenly she felt better than she had ever felt in her entire life, including those times when her pleasure had been artificially enhanced.
Cinnabar groan in hedonistic joy as she sprawled on the stone floor, awash with sensation. It felt so good... If she could feel like this, then maybe it was worth the life she had thrown away. She could live like this and anyone who had a problem with it could go to hell.
Long minutes passed with the captain content to lay and revel in the feeling, but like all highs, there came the inevitable crash. She'd lost track of how long it had been when sudden cramps struck her hard and Cinnabar cried out, rolling onto her stomach to clutch at her midsection. A dry heave shook her whole body and then suddenly something black and viscous was pouring from her mouth to splatter across the floor. Over and over, her stomach expelled what she had eaten until she felt wrung out and gross. The cloud of liquid slowly came together as she watched miserably and before her eyes, the youma she had eaten reformed, looking none the worse for having been eaten.
The monster gave an angry chitter and zoomed away on its many legs, leaving Cinnabar laying miserably on the floor. All that, and it only lasted less than half an hour? She was furious and sad all over again, the loss felt keenly. Damn the Negaverse and damn their ******** youma... She wished Painite had killed her that night in the snow.
And what was worse? ... She was hungry again.
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