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[Q] Brighton Domhall - Crit Please!

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Feather Weather

Nostalgic Otaku

PostPosted: Wed Nov 12, 2014 12:00 pm


CAMPER FORM

User Image
Name:
    Brighton Alexander Domhall
Alias:
    Bright, Star, Bad, Baddie Boy
Age:
    Eleven
Gender:
    Male
Powers:
    Psychometry
Aura:
    main color ;; D19FE8 - purple (light ube)
    frequency ;; high
    secondary color ;; 36747D - blue-green (ming)


Appearance:
    Eyes ;;
      hazel, kind of large... although that might have more to do with the whole 'we're breaking the laws of physics' bit. he's... still getting used to being a psychic.
    Hair ;;
      curly-spirally dark brown hair that's tamed by virtue of a flat iron, down to his shoulders and generally pulled back. dyed light blue because blue is awesome.
    Skin ;;
      light brown, somewhere in the ballpark of aa6948
    Height ;;
      rather short at 4'2", hoping for a growth spurt to be as tall as his brother.
    Weight ;;
      78lbs
    Body Shape ;;
      really skinny and gangly, future ectomorph if his metabolism continues to be so fast
    Outfit Choices ;;
      black wire-framed glasses, rosary, and Walkman and headphones. clothing wise, he's not really picky. generally he wears light colored pants or shorts with tees or button-ups. jackets are nice too. likes bucket hats, and generally keeps a man purse satchel because he always has food and a well-stocked first aid kit.
    Posture ;;
      pre-disposed to slouching, but will always straighten up if he realizes what he's doing or someone mentions it
    Face Shape ;;
      heart shaped
    Common Expressions ;;
      he sighs and looks put upon a lot. he's also perfected a "i'm very disappointed in you" look, thanks to his older brother. tends to have a genial smile when not being pulled into doing things.
    Body Language ;;
      tends to suck on his tongue, or on a pen, while thinking and doing stuff -- Brighton's attempting to kick the habit but it's hard when he doesn't even realize he's doing it!
      he's also constantly munching on crackers and biscuits and things.


Personality:
    Brighton is the sort of kid who's quiet, not because he's shy, but because he tends to over think his answers and the opportunity to talk passes him by. When he's around his friends and family -- the people who he trusts and who know about this tendency -- he's perfectly fine with blurting out an answer some three minutes later (even after the conversation has flowed to something else), but around teachers or people who he doesn't know?

    Yeah, no, Brighton will keep his mouth shut, or mumble to himself. It takes a while for him to get used to other people, but once that happens, you'll have a friend who would move the heavens for you. It's made it hard to make a lot of friends in the past, but Brighton's hoping that being in a place filled with others who can hear your thoughts might help him open up more. Or at least be less awkward (he does have some concerns, of people prying deep dark secrets from his mind, especially of the secrets he doesn't know about).

    Brighton goes out of his way to help people out, especially his friends, and is rather overprotective of those he cares about. Comes from his past, wanting to keep his precious people safe. It's also the only way Brighton's figured to use his more destructive psychic powers thus far, but that's mostly because he's hesitant to try testing out his abilities in a major city.

    From his upbringing, Brighton's well-educated, well-read, and a rather diligent student, one who will sit down, take notes, and say not a word. But he is still a boy, and is more than up to an adventure or two with his friends when they suggest something -- climbing trees, swimming in the surf, anything and everything. Brighton is rather prone to accidents, as he's both clumsy and often overextends himself, so when he proposes something, it's often a trip to the library or camping out in the living room.

    He's got a nice smile that tends to warm his friends up. Brighton also has huge respect towards strong women. And is kind of intimidated by them. He always comes equipped with a first aid kit.


History:
    family ;;
      father - Harrison A. Domhall (47, non-psychic)
        Brighton and Mr. Domhall have a rather... estranged relationship, in part because Brighton resents the fact that he didn't cherish his wife.
      step-mother - Esi Domhall née Villeneuve
        She's never quite sure what to do with the older Domhall children, and tends to treat Brighton like a little adult. Brighton's rather fine with that and is rather friendly towards Esi.
      older half-brother - Manx A. Domhall (26, non-psychic)
        They pick on each other, but Brighton knows Manx will always have his back. To Brighton, he's a better male role model than their father is. Manx likes sending him care packages, but they always have something that utterly embarrasses Brighton if he opens them up in public.
      younger half-sister - Sylvie A. Domhall (4, non-psychic)
        Brighton dotes upon Sylvie, and she always responds favorably towards him. She's a bit of a brat and tends to order her older brother around, but he takes it rather graciously.
      former step-mother - Lucy Domhall née Brooks(deceased)
        She helped raise Brighton and he always considered her a "second mother". He was rather devastated when she died.
      mother - Liezel Rosales e Ison (deceased)
        Best friend to the first Mrs. Domhall, Brighton thought the world of his mother, even though she did all sorts of weird things and was often away, "visiting family" that she seems to have everywhere.
    home life ;;
      Brighton has spent most of his thirteen years in his native Jamaica, the son of a prosperous businessman and his former mistress, who died of rather... mysterious circumstances while abroad. Although he only started living with the Domhall family after his mother died when he was seven, he was often over since her best friend -- Lucy -- watched him whenever his mother was gone. This is all in spite of the fact that Brighton's the product of a drunken one nighter between her husband and best friend.

      The death of his mother -- and then, later of his step-mother -- had him withdraw and it was only because of Manx did Brighton pull himself back together. It's made him rather overprotective of the people he does have, and he's become a bit of a worry wart.

      Last year, Brighton moved to San Francisco to live with his brother who does... Well, Brighton isn't too sure what Manx does, but he gets paid a lot and works a lot of nights, so the younger boy tends to not ask about it at all. Living in a well-furnished condo is very different from the wide fields and mountains of his youth, but Brighton has adjusted to life in the city rather well. He loves the transportation system and all the libraries and there's so many people, it's just... really cool.
    appearing powers ;;
      The first time Brighton ever used a power was two years ago, when cattle on a nearby farm went berserk (later, Mr. Domhall was told that someone had spooked the animals) and started to stampede about. Sylvie, barely two at the time, was nearly trampled by one, but Brighton unconsciously sent a psi-blast at the animal. Mr. Domhall hushed the whole event up and hasn't been able to look at his son since (not that that's new to Brighton) and Esi, while fearful, is much more relieved that his power's manifested at all, as her daughter would have been hurt if it wasn't for them.
      This is the first time Brighton has ever used his powers, but when he was younger, he was constantly flexing his Psychometry -- he was very good at those kids games where you had to guess which item belonged to whom.
    psychic camp ;;
      Prior to his first foray into psychic powers, Brighton believed them to be nothing more than science fiction, that they were only real in comic books, which he became a big fan of after his mother's death, immersing himself into the lives of vibrant characters with cool powers.
      Had Liezel survived, however, she would have likely told her son more about his abilities - as she was a Psychic herself. Of course, his powers are much more... subtle than her own were, so maybe she wouldn't have noticed them either.
      For Brighton, his psychic powers are kind of like magic, as he's still getting used to them. But there's always that dark thought that he wish he could do more with them, and then maybe Mama and Miss Lucy wouldn't have died (Brighton knows that it's impossible, and has a feeling that psychic abilities don't work that way, but he can't get that thought out of his head). Manx had done some digging after he heard about the event but before he got permission to move Brighton stateside with him, and found out about Murmuring Pines from one of his clients. Since he's got guardianship over his younger brother, he signed him up quick as possible.
    nicks ;;
      Brighton will respond to "Bright" (mostly as a reaction, since it's the first syllable of his name). He prefers people don't shorten it though.
      His mother used to call him "Star" and it's a precious name to him. He'd rather no one else use it, unless he's really close to them. Both Manx and Sylvie call him 'Star' as well, but not Mr. or Mrs. Domhall. The only fight he's ever had with his father had been when he called Brighton by that nickname.
      Never call him "Bad" or "Baddie Boy" unless you want to get kicked in the shins. It was a common name bullies would call him. Manx uses it to make his younger brother mad, but at this point, Brighton's gotten used to the older's teasing and will just elbow him in retaliation.




just me and random plans for the future

the next thing he's going to learn is definitely aura reading, and he'll be upgrading that psychometry at the same time. will lead into intuition and possibly mind over body
not going to be heading into kinesis i think.
brighton's going to grow up to be socially awkward but fiercly protective. and is going to train and train hard to be able to protect those he cares about.
master of mental manipulation -- pulling secrets, finding murderers, maybe making a few corpses himself
will probably look into studying if one can wipe aura's off objects, or jumble them around to make it look like someone else has used it most recently...

feels kind of like spiderman, although he's still trying to figure out how best to use his powers to help people. for now, he'll do it to help his friends. little things and baby steps

Idk what his pet would be. Something he would be okay with leaving with sylvie
he wants a baby bear

PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2014 3:52 pm


Buruburu
Just abump to get me to the top
Also did a few edits because i noticed a few things that seemed iffy to me

Feather Weather

Nostalgic Otaku


Feather Weather

Nostalgic Otaku

PostPosted: Sun Nov 16, 2014 5:35 pm


Buruburu
Just abump to get me to the top
Also did a few edits because i noticed a few things that seemed iffy to me
PostPosted: Fri Nov 28, 2014 6:09 am


A Brilliant Loser

      Sorry this took forever! School grabbed me and put me in a choke hold!

      Appearance:
      Just because hazel eyes look a lot of different ways maybe you can find some color codes, or a picture? The same goes with the light blue hair (you don't need this but I always see it as something that would make the artist's job of making your vision come to life easier). Other than that I think he looks smashing. Like before maybe some examples of how he dresses but that's just me.

      Personality:
      I wouldn't break apart the first and second paragraph of this section since they flow together.

      About how long does it take him to get use to people? When he is being quiet is he also awkward about it? Does he stare into space or just kind of stand there looking at the person while he thinks? If people were to walk away because they didn't want to wait to talk to him or what not, what does he do? Does he walk away also or just kind of stand there? Basically I know he is quiet, but is awkward quiet?

      What are the kinds of ways that he likes to help people out? You said especially for his friends, are there some things that he would only help his friends out in You said he uses his powers to help people out, maybe an example would be nice?

      When it comes to fight or flight what kind of person is he? Both in respect to protecting his friends (which I assume is fight) and himself. You mentioned bullies in his history, maybe a little on how he reacted to bullies could go here?

      What are some of his hobbies? Like what does he do for fun when alone or when he has nothing to do. What are his favorite kinds of books?

      I'm curious what respect to women, a nice smile and a first aid kid have to do with each other. Although I like the points I think they should be put into other sections or made into their own. Maybe the first aid and warming friends up should go into the part about helping people out? Just a suggestion.

      History:
      I'll start by saying although the tabs are useful I think that they should be made into one thing just so it flows better. But that's just the way I do it, I know a lot of people make tabs like you do so it's not a problem.

      I'd like to know more about the relationship between his mom, his stepmom and his father. You called his mother his father's former mistress but said that Brighton was the result of a drunken night, it just makes me wonder if it was really one night or if that was what Lucy thought. Also were his father and mother friends, or they just happened to be drunk one night and slept together? I'd just like to know more about them.

      How old was he when his step-mother died? And how did she die? I'd like to know a little more about their relationship and how it was living with her and Manx. I'd also want to know when Manx left Jamaica and how Brighton felt about that. Why did he decided to move to American to live with Manx? What did his father and step mother feel about this? Did his brother ask him to come, or was it the other way around? How does he feel about leaving his little sister, since he is overprotective of the people he has.

      I'd like an example of his using his Psychometry.

      Why did he get into comic books at first? Just because I couldn't see his father giving him one or anything like that. Did his mother like them or something? I think mentioning that his mother was psychic would be good in the start with more info on his mother.

      Why did Brighton's father give Manx guardianship? It just seems like Manx is kind of sketchy and while Brighton's dad isn't the warmest of caretakers I don't imagine he would be down to ship his son off and give away guardianship of him. Just because you have him being raised up as prim and proper so it seems off to me.

      So it was Manx who asked to have Brighton come over? I want to know more about what Manx does and what kinda clients he has.

      The nicks part I think should be under spoilers? The first part about being called Bright should maybe go into personality as well as the last part? I also didn't see anything about bullies so maybe talk about that in his history somewhere.

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