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 Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2014 1:54 pm
Name: Kayla Lee
Nickname: Kay is good. Some people call her Kay-Lee.
Age: 16
Birthday: November 28th
Sign: Sagittarius
Gemstone: Turquoise
Blood Type: O
Fav. Food: Crunchy snacks like chips and popcorn are her favorite.
Hated Food: Particularly sludgy or lumpy foods get the thumbs down. She never forgave her mother for bungling the mashed potatoes one time...
School: St. Magdalena's Seminary
Hobbies:
Small-time vigilantism - Even without powers, Kayla is the type to take matters into her own hands when she sees people being bullied or otherwise abused. When she was young, she was the kid who stood up to the bullies, and that has continued up till now. She has been known to walk bullied kids home from school and to have sternly-worded talks with their tormentors. It's the common tendency for the talks to end in slapping or fisticuffs that landed her in St. Mag's, though. One particular incident resulted in her breaking the nose of and seriously bruising a younger boy who had been particularly nasty to a little girl. (To be fair, the corporal punishment is reserved for the older ones, but it's no less problematic.) It also didn't help that the fights got more frequent as she got older, and they tended to set off chain reactions of people coming to try and take her down (through bullying that led to more fights or full-on fights from the beginning).
Fixing and Building Things - Kayla is keenly aware of the tendency of things to break, so naturally, she must learn how to fix them. She takes a certain pride in being able to put some things back together all by herself, and has considered selling her services for a little extra cash. Google is her best friend when looking for the how-tos, but once she finds that she can get straight to fixing. She also has a fondness for building things like models when she can get them; she experimented with clay modeling for a time.
Bargain Hunting - Money gets a bit tight in the Lee household from time to time, but things still need to be bought. As a result, Kayla is constantly checking for sales and special offers. She even clips coupons, sometimes for extended periods of time (it's a menial task that helps keep her mind off things). If it says "sale" on it, she's going to want to at least investigate it. She loves going to flea markets, garage sales, and cultural markets when they spring up. If she feels a price is a bit out of her range, she will try to haggle, though she knows when to back down and just take things for the listed price.
Virtues:
Honorable - "Honesty, fairness, or integrity in one's beliefs and actions" is a suitable definition of honor for Kayla. She just about never covers her true intentions, and she'll never employ any underhanded tricks, even in battle. As a result, all of her cards are effectively on the table at all times. It's possible that it makes everything she does very telegraphed, but she finds that experiences are most rewarding when everyone is given a fair shake.
Compassionate - Kayla is very understanding of people and their worries. When she sees someone who's feeling down, she puts her efforts towards cheering them up. She'll help out in any way she can, and she's a particularly good listener when people need to vent or are looking for a second opinion on something. She may not always be able to offer suggestions, but she will be there for a person.
Reliable - Need an extra hand? Call on Kayla! She is just about always there when she's needed, somehow, and she's always happy to help. She makes a point of being timely to her appointments and trying to be consistent. She puts a lot of time into helping people around her, whether it's by fixing things or doing a little lifting or just talking to them. Once you say you'll need her for something, she'll be ready and waiting for you to call on her.
Flaws:
Rigid - Kayla's rules aren't just her rules. They are the only rules that make sense and therefore the only rules that anyone should follow. She has difficulty accepting that there are other ways to do things in the world than what she does. She can be outspoken about how she thinks things should be done and may harp on how she thinks things are being done wrong. She'll also complain about having to do something different than what she's used to. When confronted with a different set of rules than what she's used to, her surprise is evident, and it takes her a while to adjust and adopt the new rules. There is no specific, easily-definable time period for adjustment aside from "eventually." One day she'll just start acting under the new rules, probably without even realizing the change in her patterns. She will never explicitly admit that her mind has been changed. In this sense, she's a bit of a black-and-white thinker.
Aggressive - Though Kayla isn't one to pick on just anyone, there are times when it's clear that she's bristling for a fight or some sort of conflict. It's the little things that would tip a person off, like a baited question or a slight brusqueness. If she has a bone to pick with you, she will pick it just about every time she sees you. There are some fights she just wants to start, though there's often a reason for wanting to start that fight, even if it's a small one. The severity of the fight depends on the severity of the infraction; a dirty look will probably result in some questioning and that's it, but if you shove her, she'll chase you down, demand an apology, and maybe shove you back. It's possible that, after so many years of taking it upon herself to hunt down troublemakers, she's been almost permanently set on high alert, and that's why she's so aggressive.
Won't let go - When Kayla latches onto a grudge or someone's perceived wrongdoing, she will never, ever let it drop. It is nigh-impossible to completely change her impressions of you. Sure, the initial impression might get covered up if you manage to do something really impressive, but to her you'll always be that person that did that one thing. Even once you've left the room and the topic is dropped, if you've done something she deems interesting (in a good or bad way), she'll bring it up again and again till she's reached a satisfactory conclusion about it (and even then, she might not stop). It can reach the point of harassment, depending on what the incident was; if you did something bad, she will grill you on it repeatedly, but if you did something good, she'll sing your praises.
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION
Eyes: Deep blue, average size.
Hair: Brown. She typically keeps it up in a ponytail, except for her two signature strands in front.
Face: Her face is a bit on the round side. Her skin is a moderate brown, and fairly clear.
Clothes: N/A, but can she have beaded bracelets?
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Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2014 2:05 pm
 Senshi: Sailor Sadachbia, Senshi of Construction Challenge: Building it better, no matter the weather! All fuku stuff is N/A, since she's already got art. Fuku Colour: ONLY IF SENSHI OR KNIGHT. Main and secondary. Give us a hex if you'd like. The bodices of senshi will always be white, except for in the case of Dark Mirror or Corrupted Senshi-- those will be black. Main Color:Secondary Color:Fuku: ELEMENTS TO THINK ABOUT FOR SENSHI, FEMALE AND MALE -- YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE THESE, JUST THINK ABOUT THEM Collar -- Bow -- Bodice -- Sleeves -- Brooch -- Bottoms -- Tiara -- Choker -- Shoes -- Gloves -- Accessories -- Your MAIN COLOUR should dominate. Your SECOND COLOUR should be used for trimming. Attacks:Sailor Scout Attack: Sadachbian Building Blocks! Raising her hands up like she's carrying something, Sadachbia calls out the attack name and summons two standard-sized bricks that drop into her hands. These bricks can be thrown at the enemy, though they're a bit lighter than normal bricks and so they won't really break anything if they hit someone (though it'll probably still hurt). The bricks crumble to dust upon contact with a target or the ground. Sadachbia cannot summon more bricks until she has used her current two or their time limit has expired (if not used, they'll disappear after 20 seconds). This attack can be used 3 times per battle for a total of 6 bricks. Super Sailor Scout Attack: Sadachbian Stone Slabs! Extending her arms forward to catch something, Sadachbia calls out the attack name, and a stone slab manifests into her hands. It is about three feet long by a foot wide by an inch thick. Sadachbia can either use the slab to block attacks or to attack. Like the bricks of her basic attack, the slab is lighter than normal stone, so it won't really break anything if it hits someone. Similarly, the slab will crumble to dust if dropped to the ground. Sadachbia cannot summon more slabs until she has used her current one or their time limit has expired (if not broken by something else, it will disappear after 30 seconds). This attack can be used 3 times for a total of 3 slabs. Eternal Sailor Attack: Sadachbian Construction Conundrum! Pushing her hands forward like she's pushing something, Sadachbia calls out the attack name, and a variety of blocks appear everywhere in a 15-foot radius around her. There can be anywhere from four to sixteen blocks, ranging from 2 ft x 2 ft x 2 ft to 4 ft x 4 ft x 4 ft in size. The more blocks there are, the more smaller blocks there will be; if there are fewer blocks, they will typically be of middling size. Everyone who was in the 15-foot radius (ally or enemy, aside from Sadachbia herself) when the attack was activated will feel an urge to build something with the blocks. The urge will remain for one minute, though it will diminish in strength as time goes on. The blocks themselves are difficult to destroy, but will disappear one minute after being summoned. If all the blocks are somehow destroyed, the urge to build will be dispelled as well. This attack can be used once.
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2014 9:50 am
Hi Sami,
Sorry for the wait, been a busy month, being December and all. Shall we get on with your critique then?
Overall she has a pretty solid personality. I have some questions to clarify something and beef up a few things. For her first hobby, it really doesn't seem like a bad thing even if she is fighting. I would really like to see more here and love to know just how it landed her in St. Mags. Like did she really hurt someone or did fist follow words more often than not? Like was it to the point where she was looking like the bully and not the offender.
Fixing and building things is fine, I think its a cute hobby. I feel her bargain hunting hobby needs a little beefing because it doesn't fully read like a hobby. Does she frequent cultural markets, ones that allow haggling? Does she try know how to haggle? Is she good a making a best of a sale of making it work best for her, like extreme couponing? (A lady at my job got an order of like 20 baby wipes for like 2 dollars)
For rigid, is there a time frame for accepting these new rules? How much of a battle is it to get her to accept and adopt them? It doesnt really seem like something that will make people dislike her so much as just a quirk. It needs more so showcase how it will make someone dislike her. Paired with her agressive flaw, I would imagine her being outspoken about how her way is the right/best way and really having to go through more than its probably worth to attempt to change her mind.
For her agressive flaw, when she has a reason, what are the limits? Like could it be a very small infraction, like someone looked at her wrong? I can see this tying in with her vigilante hobby? Like it almost a cover for how agressive she can be? Protecting other's from bullies gives her a reason to fight? But when there are no bullies?
Won't let go, ties well to rigid? Though I wonder, if it ever gets to a harassment sort of level? A bullying sort of level, however mild?
For her powered side, I will say you picked a very difficult sphere.
Her first attack I think it fine, they have the bricks have the potential to do minor damage, create an obstacle (in that she's throwing them) and that they crumble to dust on contact. I curious about summoning three bricks at a time and holding them, might be difficult and if she drops it, its done. Maybe it would be better with two, one for each hand. Also the bricks cannot last 40 seconds at time. Basic attack should last more than a minute total. So if you want her attack to be used three time, I would suggest the bricks only staying around for 20 secs.
For her super attack, it should be an upgrade of her basic attack and this isnt really. It turns from offensive to more defensive, so the mechanics of the attack aren't really the same. The blocks are so big she can't move them on her own. The attack is again to long and should not preferably exceed 1 min 30 sec. I would suggest 45 secs twice, or 30 secs thrice.
For eternal attack she is summons stone towers, but they are stalagmites and spires, which aren't constructed so much as formed/grown. She can summon them right where she needs them and even guide them to appear under a person, which is a bit much. I'm not sure what you are exactly going for here, offensive or defensive (obstacle). Also generally eternal attacks can last longer, typically up to a full minute, but they are only used once.
Quote me back when you are ready for a second look? Or grab me on aim (Shizu6616) if you have question or need more help.
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2014 12:09 pm
i love her being the senshi of construction! awesome!
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Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2014 1:39 pm
Thanks for the crits~ I think I fixed things up. How does it look now? Glad to hear you like her sphere~
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Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 11:58 pm
Her hobbies, virtues and flaws look okay.
The changes you made to her basic attack look good and i think they work. Her super however still isnt fully looking like an upgrade to her basic, I think that is partially because they drop to the ground. I think it would be better if she summoned one at at time and could either use it as a shield or hit someone with it. It would still disappear when hit or after the time limit, but it would bump the number of slabs down to 3.
The eternal attack is much better but I feel it still lacks a feel for construction. I have an idea that might work if you like. I think you could make it an AOE, say 10ft radius outward from her, 20ft diameter around and have her summon stone blocks of all sizes all over and have anyone within the area feel compelled to construct something. It would still be a terrain obstacle for anyone more resistant to the attack and a great distraction for anyone who isn't. It would need a minimum and maximum amount of blocks summoned and size range ... im think no bigger than 4x4x4 and more of the smaller versus the bigger. Think spilling really big legos on the floor.
Quote me when you are ready for a second look!
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Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2014 3:57 pm
Patched up the attacks with your suggestions! I liked your Eternal suggestion, so I used it. Let me know if it works!
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Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2014 11:53 pm
Also there! Just two small things. I suggest 2x2x2 to 4x4x4 blocks for eternal. Since they are compelled to build something, it would likely be a little easier to hold the distraction if they can at least partially do what they are being compelled to do. Also a 20ft radius is too large, senshi attacks don't generally have radius above 15ft. As the attack is a buffer I would be happy to approve 15ft for you.
Quote me back when you have made the changes and you should be good to go!
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Posted: Thu Jan 01, 2015 3:27 pm
Kaori_luv Also there! Just two small things. I suggest 2x2x2 to 4x4x4 blocks for eternal. Since they are compelled to build something, it would likely be a little easier to hold the distraction if they can at least partially do what they are being compelled to do. Also a 20ft radius is too large, senshi attacks don't generally have radius above 15ft. As the attack is a buffer I would be happy to approve 15ft for you.
Quote me back when you have made the changes and you should be good to go! All righty! How about now?
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Posted: Thu Jan 01, 2015 3:39 pm
Looks great, shes approved! Have fun playing her! 
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