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 Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 10:11 am
Name: Ryan Rayner.
Nickname: ---
Age: 20.
Birthday: 6th August.
Sign: Leo.
Gemstone: Peridot.
Blood Type: AB.
Fav. Food: Instant Ramen.
Hated Food: Yoghurt / Milk / Cream.
Occupation: Sword Swallower, Fire Breather and Performer at 'The Dark Woods Circus' and general staff hand at 'Grandma's House' a bar located in the same industrial estate as the circus in Down Town DC, both of which are owned by his parents. Ryan, like many of the performers, lives in a caravan at the back of the warehouse in which the Circus is situated. (His parents own a house not too far away, a rather nice house at that, but Ryan prefers to be close to the rest of the troupe and it also helps overcome the stigma of being the boss's son.)
Hobbies:
Pixel Horror
Pixel horror have always held a special place in Ryan's heart and has wasted many nights playing them, only realising how much time has past when the first light of dawn floods into his room. They really are terrible games; the graphics are horrid, the storyline's are laughable and most are so glitchy that they have as much chance of breaking as they do actually working. Though it is in their faults that Ryan sees charm. He always has his phone at hand, ready to show the curious Youtube let's plays of his favourite games. He has always wanted to make his own game, but lacks the skills or artistic merit that it takes to make one - Maybe if he teamed up with someone? He is always looking for people to share his passion with.
Preforming
Since Ryan can remember he has always been surrounded by performers, acrobats, snake charmers, mystics, fire dancers, ring masters, bearded ladies, clowns, sword swallower's ect ect. It was the world he was raised in and the world he loves and as such from a young age he was compelled to learn the tricks of the trade. He has sank hours, days, weeks, years into the art of the circus and has a rather unusual skill set to show for it. Ryan can swallow swords, breathe fire, do magic tricks, walk on glass and has just started dappling in the art of contortion. Having left school at the age of fourteen to be home-schooled by his parents he dropped studies such as geography, history, science and sports to take up performance training. To this day his act consumes most of his time.
Oddities
Ryan loves the old, the rare, the broken and the strange and has started a rather grotesque and beautiful collection that takes up most of his living space. From old medical journals to morticians instruments, taxidermy and picked specimens, old horror movies and props. If an object in unusual in any way he just needs to have it. He frequents Steam Punk markets, Yard Sales and even explores old abandoned spaces in the hops of finding treasure. Do not even get me started on the numerous hunters and farmers he has been in contact with to ask for dead animal parts. He is still holding out onto hope that someone will bring him the carcass of a two headed lamb.
Virtues:
Funny
Ryan is a smart guy, maybe not book smart, but he is very aware of himself and the world around him - and this means he can make fun of things rather easily. If there is a sarcastic commend, innuendo or tasteless joke to be made, then he will be the one to make it. It is really hard to tell if he is ever actually being serious and at times his humour can take a rather dry and dark tone. Since his profession is to perform his timing and delivery are to point and is very animated in his tone and movements. Sure his humour might not be to everyone tastes, I mean not everyone in the world finds the same comedians funny, however if your tastes match his then he will leave you in side splitting agony a good percentage of the time.
Loyal
Ryan is a friend for life. He might say he does not trust people and insist that he finds most human beings disgusting. Though he can not help but like a special few and in reality his heart is much more open to companionship then he would like to admit. He feels the need to help people when they are down, to care for people, to befriend them and when he accepts someone into his little troupe then he will do anything imaginable to keep them safe and protect them. If you need him to lie to the police he will, if you need somewhere to hide he will offer you his place with no questions asked and no strings attached. If one of his friends asks something of him then he will do it because the connections that he makes with people are sacred to him and friends are something that should be cherished above all else. Even after betrayal, Ryan still finds himself with lingering feelings towards those he once loved and will never truly hate someone that once touched his heart.
Brave
Ryan does not scare easily. He will stand up to people much bigger than him and he will run head first into danger when needed. This by no means suggest he does not feel fear, he does get scared but chooses not to let his fears control him and will not let him prevent him from reaching his goals. He is quick to action and can always be found on the front lines of any given situation with a smug smile plastered across his face. Sure some people might say he is deluded and he is constantly reminded that he is not as indestructible as he likes to think. Though Ryan would like to point out he does not think he is indestructible, bad things happen to everyone, he just chooses not to wait around dreading what is around the corner. Those demons that follow you, it is best to meet them head on in his opinion.
Flaws:
Blunt
Ryan is not above poking fun at anyone and if he sees a flaw in you, friend or foe, he will pick up on that and tournament you about it. Though poking fun is one of the ways he shows affection it does not go down too well with some. He just does not know where the line is and will remain oblivious to it until someone slaps him across the face. Though he does not mean to be nasty he is overly truthful and will happily tell someone they are being an idiot if he thinks they are. Ryan gets on well with people who are quite laid back and open to criticism like he himself is, if you are a prideful person then chances are he is not the kind of guy you will get along with. Everyone becomes the butt of one of his jokes eventually and the longer you are friends with him the more he will make. It is just part of his character - you just need to realise that he may make fun of your flaws, but if the kind of person to love you for them.
Cynical
Ryan was raised into a world of wonder, a world that's soul purpose is to bring smiles to the faces of others, he was quite lucky to have such a magical upbringing and because of this he looks out into the world with scorn. Politics, Religion, Greed, Enterprise, Poverty. It is all that fills the news, all that is plastered on front pages. People blindly follow trends set by celebrities and taught that they are not beautiful enough, that they are a class bellow others. Ryan hates that as it is this world that he likes to mock. He is not the most optimistic of people and this usually comes out in his over-protectiveness towards his friends. Always ready to take on a challenge or fight a battle that he knows is just around the corner. Hiding behind a façade of humour, enchantment and magic likes a rather pessimistic person who often sits around at night reflecting on all he has had, all he has lost and all that can still be taken away from him. At night he often has rather deep and meaningful conversations with his loved ones, out of the blue asking them if people can be broken or if there is actually good in everyone.
Over-Emotional
When Ryan is angry, he screams and throws things. When he is sad, be rants and breaks things, when he is anxious he passes and kicks things. When he feels trapped he will just start running and not stop until he feels like he is going to vomit. What I am trying to say is Ryan has feelings, feelings which manipulate, mislead and control him. He is really one to go with his gut instead of his head and this unpredictable, impulsive nature means he is prone to fights and making choices on the drop of a hat. Choices that he than comes to regret later. More so in making choices he rarely looks to the future, instead doing what is best in that particular moment. He also takes rejection and failure very hard, often locking himself in his caravan for days at a time whilst he tries to bock everyone out.
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Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 10:12 am
Knight Title: Frankenstein Page
Challenge: For the protection of Cosmos, I shall make a monster of myself.
Uniform:
Top Erm, none. Ryan does not wear a top.
Bottoms A very long skirt, held at his waist by a rather ornate looking belt. The skirt is white but has a pleasant sparkle about it. Small star like ornaments hang from the belt of thing thread. Jewels maybe? Do mad with the design.
Gloves None, but he does have some cool bracelets! and an armlet.
Belt Yup, see the skirt information for details.
Shoes Not that you can see them under his man-skirt, but there are some boots under there... I think.
Shoulders HAHAHA. NOPE.
Accessories Gold, and alot of them. The piercings in his face are gold, he could be wearing some kind of head jewellery too, necklaces maybe, go mad with it!
Weapon A jar full of stars, think like a snow globe that looks a little more like jam jar. The jar fluctuates in its level of luminosity. This then turns into a more ornate looking snow globe, before reacting its final form which is an ornate looking snowglobe on the end of a staff.
Attacks To be added!!!
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Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2014 2:31 pm
Alright, let's get down to business! You get my usual disclaimer - this is nothing official, and if any of this rings false to you, feel free to tell me to go to hell. smile General overview!-How often does he get "Like the actor?" rofl Are you planning to add his birthday/sign/gemstone, or is he just an enigma? Hobbies!Video games - I think the only thing missing here is clarification about where he plays these games. Are they on his computer, on a full-size or handheld console, on his phone? Does he play them when he's out and about, waiting for the bus, waiting for his coffee, etc, or only when he's home? Does he prefer to get totally engrossed or play in little chunks? Skateboarding - looks good! Reading - ditto with video games, does he prefer to read in private and get totally engrossed, or is he a coffee shop/public transit/deli line reader? Warhammer - I'm gonna assume you're still filling this in. Music - what are his favorite bands/genres? Does he listen so loudly that everyone within ten feet can hear the lyrics? VirtuesFunny - I would love to know more about what things Ryan does that make him so funny! Does he have particularly good comedic timing? Is he great with one liners, or witty comebacks, or is he all about puns? How would you characterize his sense of humor - is it particularly dry or sarcastic or witty or droll or sweet or goofy? Is his comedy more physical or verbal? Does he had a good sense for when it is appropriate to be more serious, or is he always on? (If he had to give a eulogy, would he start it with a joke?) Laid back - looks good. Loyal - looks good! Brave - This doesn't read like a virtue right now - it reads like he's reckless. What about Ryan's bravery makes it something other people would admire about him? Is he a go-getter? Does he do a lot of high-risk, high-reward things like putting himself out there for opportunities (dates, academic and career opportunities), knowing he has a chance of embarrassing himself or being shot down? What about his not dwelling too much on potential negative outcomes works to his benefit? Flaws Sarcastic- This is great and it's the answer I was looking for in funny! Maybe plant the seeds of his sense of humor being kind of dry and abrasive up there, so the payoff down here that he can go too far feels more natural? Lazy- Looks good, but you can go further. How does his laziness impact Ryan's personal relationships and academic or professional performance? Has he lost out on things because of his procrastination? Have his grades suffered? Are there any circumstances here he is actually capable of keeping up with work/people/whatever? Non-Serious- Looks good! Dumb- Would his academics be better if he were not so lazy? Are any of his other issues compounded by his laziness? Does his clumsiness impact his skateboarding? Picking one or two areas for him to be an under-performer might be better than making him all-over inept. (I know from experience that playing a character who is just all over bad at everything can be hard, and wound up adjusting how I was playing to let her be a bit more competent at some things than I'd originally intended. If he's socially inept and lacks common sense, maybe he's physically a bit more adept, just to balance him out?) Physical description-What's his body type? (It really needs to be added to the form, gdi.) How tall is he? What's his build like? -I see his skin tone in your reference, but maybe note it here? Powered sideI'll talk to you more when you figure him out, but I really like your idea for his weapon and his magic! I'm interested to see how you relate it back to Saturn's themes. Do you have any names in mind?
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Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2014 2:50 pm
THANK YOU FOR THE CRIT, HAVE SOME IDEA SEEDS.
a). Nah I am planning to put them in, I just have not got around to it. I see him as a winter bby, don't you? November maybe. Hmm.
b). THERE IS AN ACTOR NAMED RYAN REYNOLDS. I DID NOT KNOW THIS. -googles- But yes, he does not watch movies but, that is correct. He thinks.
c). Oh his computer, sadly most pixel horror games are for the PC and this non transportable. Though he will sure you youtube throughputs on his phone if you are curious : 3
d). Yes, Warhammer is en enigma in itself. Basically it is a game where you paint little models and play them as an army! Super nerdy so in the university WarHammer Club.
e). Since he is on a skateboard most of the time, reading and commuting will probably end in a road accident. He reads when he can, in coffee shops, mainly when he is waiting for friends or for some reason can not get to his computer to play video games. Did you know Raptor is really good at English, his teacher cried when he said he was not doing it at uni. True dat bro.
d). So hard to explain, so easy to RP. Ryan is just side splitting hilarious. His timing is beautiful, he is quick, witty and just generally amazing. Though at the same time can easily be the kind of person to fall over on a banana peel. So sometimes its intentional because of his smart mouth, other times his clumsy feel betray him. Just know if there is a serious moment, he will ruin it. It is his super power.
e). What about his not dwelling too much on potential negative outcomes works to his benefit? He will be the first person to head any kind of attack. He is not one that weighs all the options and sure that is a bad thing, but if someone was in trouble would you prefer your rescue party to sit around, threat and discuss the best cause of action in taking on the burning building, or would you prefer someone who is through the door the moment you scream? Ryan is there at an instant, usually putting himself in trouble to aid others. If someone was threatening to jump off a bridge he would be the one who jumped down there to pull them back up. If someone walked into ongoing traffic, he would be there to push them out the way. Heck if someone made one of his friends cry, despite the attackers size, he would punch them in the nose regardless. His own safety does not really come into the equation until he is hurting afterwards thinking, FEET WHY YOU DO THIS.
f). WILL DO, GOD BLESS HIM AND HIS ABILITY TO LAUGH AT MOMENTS HE SHOULD NOT.
g). I think the only reason that he would take action would actually be LIFE OR DEATH situations or if a friend REALLY needed him. He is one of those people who are like - okay, unless you arm is hanging off or a comment is coming to destroy the world don't bother me. Raptor is a smart kid, but his grades are average at the best, mainly due to his laziness and lack of an attention span. Who would study when you can waste your night drinking wine, playing pixel horrors and skyping with friends?
h). I would not say he is socially dense, I mean he is a likeable guy really if you learn to shrug off his stinker of a personality and understand he is a well meaning idiot. He just does not understand the social dilemma's that people are going through, he has lived quite a mundane life and because of them is somewhat naive when it comes to the harder things people have to deal with. I mean he will be a shoulder to cry on, make some bad jokes, give people hugs but will not know what else to say to them and wont be able to offer them any advise. He can just... be there, you know?
i). NO IDEA'S FOR NAMES. NEED SOME HELP BIG TIME. I have some idea's for how he looks but dont want to restrict whatever artist does him. I plan to make him look like a gentleman, a really gothic sir with his teddy, and then as he grows it rank have his clothes be most ripped. Kind of like he is a man becoming a beast. POETIC. YES I AM.
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Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2014 2:53 pm
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Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2014 3:19 pm
So, the first recorded mention of Frankenstein Castle is from 1250, but there's evidence that the castle is older than that. Given that there are other wonders sort of right on the valid mark, you could definitely try to make a case for Frankenstein being a valid name. Uhhh. I'll keep looking. UuU (also I'm so surprised you've never heard of that Ryan Reynolds before.)
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Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2014 3:27 pm
Silverah So, the first recorded mention of Frankenstein Castle is from 1250, but there's evidence that the castle is older than that. Given that there are other wonders sort of right on the valid mark, you could definitely try to make a case for Frankenstein being a valid name. Uhhh. I'll keep looking. UuU (also I'm so surprised you've never heard of that Ryan Reynolds before.)
I DID NOT KNOW THAT WAS HIS NAME.
I am going to start goggling my OC's names from now on. Legit.
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Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2014 3:44 pm
Maybe
Baskerville Hall in Powys, Mid Wales was the location in which Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote most of his novel The Hound of the Baskervilles. The magnificent mansion was first built back in 1839 and is by no surprise steeped in years of meaningful history. The Hall is well known for its ghostly hounds.
SOOO I CANT COUNT.
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Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2014 4:00 pm
T e b i k ii Maybe
Baskerville Hall in Powys, Mid Wales was the location in which Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote most of his novel The Hound of the Baskervilles. The magnificent mansion was first built back in 1839 and is by no surprise steeped in years of meaningful history. The Hall is well known for its ghostly hounds.
SOOO I CANT COUNT. What about Wistman's Wood? The earliest reference is from the 1600s, but it was already a fully-mature and ancient forest by then, so it's got to be valid, even if the name is modern. It's associated with The Wild Hunt! Wistman Page, maybe? :O
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Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2014 4:03 pm
Silverah T e b i k ii Maybe
Baskerville Hall in Powys, Mid Wales was the location in which Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote most of his novel The Hound of the Baskervilles. The magnificent mansion was first built back in 1839 and is by no surprise steeped in years of meaningful history. The Hall is well known for its ghostly hounds.
SOOO I CANT COUNT. What about Wistman's Wood? The earliest reference is from the 1600s, but it was already a fully-mature and ancient forest by then, so it's got to be valid, even if the name is modern. It's associated with The Wild Hunt! Wistman Page, maybe? :O
I shall be an expert on this topic by morning <333
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Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2014 11:11 am
Hello,
Kaori here to do your critique for Ryan. He totally has my birthday lolz! The first thing I would like to address is that he is only 20 years old but he is a sword swallower for Destiny City Circus/Freakshow. How did he get into this, exactly? Have you researched the topic? Same goes for firebreathing? These little tidbits can be used to beef up his preforming hobby. His Pixel Horror hobby seems fine, but his gym hobby doesnt really seem like a hobby so much as something he just does. He's not really enthused about it or interested in it.
For his virtues, I can certainly see him being funny and a class clown with him being a performer at heart, but reading his virtues he doesn't seems likely he would have a dry or dark sense of humor. Maybe moments but not overall. More like the guy to make light of a moment or situation ... employing basically whatever type of comedy fits the moment. He does not have to be limited in this. His virtue should be written in a way that would make someone undoubtedly say, I like this guy. Maybe he's just that type of person who knows most of the time the right joke to make at the right moment, having great timing to crack folks up.
Loyal as written reads half virtue and half flaw, which you can certainly point of the negative part so a virtue, but I'd say the general rule of thumb should be 80:20 ... not more that 20% negative. Someone who is loyal to another person isnt generally going to be late a lot, breaking promises and being a jerk. It closer to going through hell and high water, with or for a person because you care about them.
The same can be said for Brave, which currently reads more like Reckless than brave, the last sentence really give a feel of recklessness. The way you have him written, he seems more Audacious which is a synonym of brave. He seems like he would be a more daring sort, adventurous and always will to try to do new things, brave in that aspect as well as in the face of danger. After all he is a sword swallower and fire breather.
For sensitive, I'm not entirely sure what you are going for so correct me if I am wrong, but it reads like he's more empathetic, very in the moment with those he cares about wanting to offer comfort and make them feel better be it from making a joke or just being there for them, even if it's in a mothering manner. That doesn't make his seem terribly feminine.
For his flaws I'm not sure about sarcastic. It read less sarcastic and more like he just doesnt know when to stop, when enough is enough and takes things to far.
He doesn't really seem like a lazy person, he reads as a person who active and social. It just seems to clash with what you appear to be trying to go for his personality.
Melodramatic, is basically overemotional with flare and would be more suited to the emotional flaw you have which reads like overemotional. Melodramatic at current reads more like he is either depressed or cynical, and since depression is more a state of mind it could not be used as a flaw, not he couldnt suffer from it, it just couldnt be a flaw. It appears though you are going more for cynical for him. Also another part of this, you say he had the girl, the home, the dog ... he is very young, only 20 ... which gives him a short window for this to happen and go very south?I am very curious about this statement.
Emotional I address in the above, but will not that it could read less as emotional/melodramatic and more like a lack of emotional control. It could go hand and hand with the empathetic virtue as well where he's the type to take that to far, being more upset and rearing to go for a person that they originally had been? Just a suggestion.
Critiquing his knight side to since it is there and I can help you get it where you'd like it to be.
For his Knight side, I'm sorry but after looking at Wistman's wood and reading the article I am going to have to say it cannot be used as a wonder. In the article its stated that the oldest oaks are about 200-400 years old, so I wouldnt think the woods itself are 1000 years old. It's a bit of a stretch even if the woods are associated with the Wild Hunt. Is there a particular type of wonder you were looking for?
Also while I see no problems with his weapon, the magic wouldn't work for saturn. The magic must follow the themes of the planet and for Saturn those are watcher, binders, and death. If you would like to use speed, that I suggest Uranus, but if you are set on Saturn than you will have to use magic that fits the theme.
Both the squire and pages stages will require information about how the weapon is used and the duration for the magic itself, usage and effect.
Quote me back when you are ready for a second look. Aim me (Shizu6616) if you have any question, or concerns, or just want to discuss things.
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Posted: Sun Dec 07, 2014 6:09 am
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Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 10:16 pm
The changes you made look good! The civilian portion of this profile is stamped! You will need to resubmit his powered portion for critique when you are ready. I will say as far as I can tell Frankenstein's castle is not old enough to be used as a wonder. Have fun playing him! 
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